Midnight Fable [Ready]

[swamp337]

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria (Mane RP)

Name: Midnight Fable

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye colour: Blue

Coat: Purple

Mane/Tail: Brown. Mane is short and messy, tail is mid length and also messy.

Physique: Average

Residence: Crystal Empire

Occupation: Writer

Cutie Mark: Crossed Pencils, facing downward. His special talent is storytelling. As a colt, he was always quite creative, and one day, during the weekend. he assembled a veritable armada of his toys, from Lovey Dovey the doll to Mr. Fluffynoodle the stuffed unicorn. He gave them all new roles, making them into kings and queens and monsters and heroes, and began to spin a wondrous story. He set this new tale in the mythical kingdom of Antrotia, which encompassed his carpet, the ancient lands of Jecolta, being his bed, and the sinister nation of Kyn'tar, who ruled his closet. These were the lands of the continent known as Pror.

The tale was epic in length, spanning generations in Pror and hours in his room. It focused mainly on the ancestors and descendants of Ether Wisp, a mighty Antrotian pegasus who helped shape the history of all of Pror. It began with the fall of the nation of Antrotia to the armies of Kyn'tar, then went on to the rise of Jecolta up until the reclamation of occupied Antrotia. It ended with a surprising twist, being Pror falling and giving way to Equestria. This was achieved when his parents came to tell him dinner was ready. It was then they discovered his Cutie Mark, which, as far as they could tell, had been there for hours before anypony noticed.

The story he wrote made him feel truly at home while he weaved it, and he made many more after for fun alone. He explained the whole of the story to his parents during and after dinner that night, and they were impressed at it's complexity and intensity. He told the story to anypony who'd listen; classmates, teachers, neighbors, mailmares, Mr. Fluffynoodle the stuffed unicorn, anypony at all. The story was his ticket to a prosperous social life, and it gave him friends where before it he had none. He holds it dear to his heart, in that regard.

History: Midnight Fable was born in Canterlot as an only child, but as a foal his parents, Cloudy Day and Silver Lining, a weather pony and a banker, sought to leave the city for the Crystal Empire, for Silver Lining had a big opportunity there. Unfortunately, this meant Midnight grew up without any other non-crystal ponies in his peer group. He became introverted and shy, preferring to play with his toys alone than with others.

For most of his childhood, Midnight didn't get along well with the other colts and fillies, until he earned his Cutie Mark. The next day, he told his classmates the story he created which got him his Cutie Mark. Some of them demanded he prove to them his talent, and they began to give him ideas and key aspects of a story, and he improvised a tale for them. The fillies and colts became so enthralled in his tales that a suggestion box was created for his stories, and almost every recess he vastly enhanced their games of pretend by adding continuity, recurring characters, and other literary devices that generally made pirates and knights more interesting.

When Midnight was a young stallion, his father left for Canterlot once more, but Midnight and Cloudy Day had grown too attached to the Crystal Empire. His parents decided it would be best if they separated, but Midnight was against the decision. The distance between Canterlot and the Crystal Empire meant he didn't get to talk to his father all that much. And he grew distant from his mother, the two of them rarely speaking. This, of course, left him with more time and energy to use on writing his books.

Shortly after his father left, he released his first book, Of the Fall of Antrotia, based on the story he first wove with his toys and his friends. It received modest acclaim. He has written seven other books in the series, titled The Lost History of Pror since then, titled:

• The Epic of Ether Wisp
  
• Compendium of the Ancients
  
• The Lost Empire
  
• Titan's Fall
  
• The War of Reclamation
  
• Of The Rise of New Antrotia
  
• The Finest Hour
  

The biggest shock to his life, however, was when King Sombra cursed the Crystal Empire. A thousand years passed in a blink, and soon he found himself in a vastly different Equestria. The moment he truly realized that such a length of time had passed, he reunited with his mother and went on a pilgrimage to Canterlot. There, they found the millennium old gravestone of Silver Lining. He and his mother became much closer after that, and the two of them often visit their ancient hometown to pay their respects.

His original books have passed into ancient history, and have boosted in popularity with his return after a thousand years, earning a small cult following. He is now working on a sequel series, titled The Third Coming of Pror. He hopes for it to meet the same fame, or exceed the fame of, his previous series. He feels that his current success is based on circumstances beyond his control, and he wants to earn the fame he currently has.

Character Summary: Midnight's talent is storytelling, in all it's respects. He can write a story, which is his preferred mode, as well as weave one out of nowhere and tell it by speech, or even for uses of lying, which he doesn't use. He uses this talent to write stories, which he publishes.

His only real goal in life is to pass on his tales to the masses. He enjoys entertaining them, and will do so at any occasion. He does have a dream to personally tell a tale to a massive crowd of ponies, but he also realizes that it will probably never happen.

He has a penchant for history, and likes to read books on the subject of Canterlot and ancient Equestria. He absolutely adores anything older than a few centuries, and can often be seen citing the vaguest of historical facts. He also likes music, in all of it's forms, and admires it as a form of creativity he cannot master. He has tried, and his neighbors signed a petition to have him sell his guitar.

Midnight cannot, however, stand liars. He really, really, really can't stand them. He knows he has the ability to be an excellent liar, and he does his absolute best to suppress that side of him. Whenever he lies, he often sits there and thinks for a while about the ramifications of his lie. Many times he will keep the knowledge of his lies with him for years, never quite working up the courage to apologize, and never forgiving himself for the deception. Also, whenever someone makes reference to a "white lie", he feels the urge to punch them.

His hobby is collecting the works of Starswirl the Bearded. Of course, not the actual works, but the reproductions. He has a special obsession with the ancient unicorn's spells and tomes, though he never actually tries any of the spells. He reads them, and can recite quite a few, but he has never dared to attempt any of them. He fears his abilities are not up to the test, and several books lie on the shelf, having only been read once, and never touched again.

He is kind of silly, and a little socially awkward. To his close friends, he is rambunctious and the life of the party, but to everyone else he is quiet and reserved, more akin to the person who has been forced to come to the party, and is hanging out in the corner. As such, he has a difficult time making friends, and most of his friends know him because of circumstance or random chance, and the rest are friends of friends.

Midnight often drones on, and sometimes accidentally lies without realizing it. He has a very seldom seen mean streak, and while mild mannered most of the time, when one truly incurs his wrath he immediately jumps to fighting, regardless of circumstance or his opponents identity. He enjoys arguing, which is not often reciprocated. He cannot play music. At all.

Midnight jumps to worst case scenarios whenever he doesn't hear from somepony in a long time, like their death or their having been kidnapped or becoming deathly ill, when in reality they were just out of town.

He also still sleeps with Mr. Fluffynoodle the stuffed unicorn, who was cursed by Sombra along with the rest of the Crystal Empire, and survived the thousand years.

[swamp337]

I'm open to suggestions and edits, or whatever you can throw my way.

[RainbowDaringDash]

Hello and welcome to canterlot

I shall be your unofficial helper for now.

This char is well made, only thing i can see it missing really is a cutie mark story. Other then that, i cant see anything needing fixing.

Great job

[swamp337]

?

The story is there, I don't know what you mean. It's right under Cutie Mark.

Oh, wait, is it a bad story? Crap, I thought it was good!

[RainbowDaringDash]

They are basically a second history, but focused on the events he got his/her CM with. The basis you have is good, i just think you might need to expand it, make it a bit more detailed.

And it is good, but, just a little short in my opinion

[swamp337]

Okily dokily, one expanded Cutie Mark story coming up!

[swamp337]

There! Fully fleshed out Cutie Mark story, plus insight into Pror and the story he wrote!

Plus, glorious, glorious Times New Roman.

[Elderflower]

Hi there! I'm Elderflower, you friendly neighbourhood RP Helper and master of bows and sparkles!

Just here to offer a reminder to switch the title of your post to [Ready] when you're ready to have your app reviewed by staff. If you're not sure how to do that, just select the "Use Full Editor" option when you go to edit your post!

[swamp337]

Oh, thanks! I, uh...

Didn't completely forget or anything, I'm just incompetent with forums.

[Elderflower]

No worries! I'm here to help, and friendly reminders are part of my job!

So first thing's first, let's talk about the cutie mark story! This part of the character app is really important for letting us and other users get to know your original character. It helps us to see what motivates and drives them and helps us understand just who your pony is. You've got a really great start here, though I think I would like to see a little bit more added to it before I feel comfortable passing it up along. Keep in mind that knowing what happened just tells us the events of the story when we're looking to get to know Midnight Fable. Try telling us how crafting this grand story made Midnight feel, and how it would change his relationship with other ponies. Was he eager to share it? Did he want to involve others in it? Why did creating these tales mean so very much to him? You've got a really cool and creative pony on your hands, so help us get to know him better! c:

Next up there are a few things I want to address with the history. First up would be the extremely negative relationship you talk about between Midnight and his mom. We know that sad and difficult things can happen in WoE, but keeping to show canon means we strive to keep the tone as positive as we can. Having his father leave and his relationship with his mother grow strained is not unreasonable by any means, but I would suggest softening the way you word this portion of the app. I would also recommend going back and brushing up this section with the same kind of attention I mentioned for the cutie mark story. Instead of just telling us your character's history or his current goals, tell us how his history has influenced him as a pony and a writer, and let us know what's really driving his current aspirations!

What needs are some timeline conflicts. It is totally okay (and really interesting, actually!) to have a unicorn who grew up in the Crystal Empire, but you'll have to include more details on your app about the move. It would only make sense to have him grow up in the Empire if it happened before Sombra's reign, which means you will have to write about that in your app. I also recommend saying he moved there from somewhere in Equestria aside from Manehattan specifically as we can't be certain it existed that long ago. Perhaps a small town that doesn't even exist any more or has grown into a metropolis since the Empire emerged again would be fun options, it would really be interesting to have a pony return to their hometown to find it so vastly different!

The last two things I want to cover are pretty simple. First, you mention in the app that Midnight hates liars, but that he often lies without realizing it. I'd like to see that dynamic fleshed out a little more: how does his accidental lying make him feel? Why do you think he does this despite how he feels about lying, or does he dislike liars because he doesn't like his own bad habit? And secondly, could you clarify why exactly Midnight feels worried about the fact that his parents left home for the Empire?

I really hope these pointers help you with your application process and I can't wait to see you develop Midnight further! I think he'll make a fun addition to WoE roleplay!

[swamp337]

Okay, so... [Ready] is coming off of that for while.

Edits ahoy!

[swamp337]

Ughity ugh ugh ugh!

I did what you asked! Plus some more stuff where I felt it was needed.

And formatting to make it neater.

SLEEP TIME IT'S 1:38 AM.

[Elderflower]

Please don't forget to mark your application as Ready when you'd like me to review it again! c:

Also, once we start the review process you don't need to switch it to WiP when you go to fix something. Just notifying me here in this thread after you've completed an update is fine.

[swamp337]

Oh, ok. It's ready to be reviewed now!

[Elderflower]

I'm ready to pass this up the ladder for SRPH review. You've done a really fantastic job with this character!

[SteelEagle]