ready Feather Light [ready]

[batponyisbestpony]

Roleplay Type: World of Equestria
Name: Feather Light
Sex: Female
Age: young mare
Species: aerion\bat pony
Eye colour: green
Coat: light gray with a purple tint
Mane/Tail: sky blue. Usually wears her mane in a ponytail to keep it out of her face, changes to a bun for special occasions.
Physique:  Slim, shorter than the average pony.

Residence: Canterlot

Occupation: Does odd jobs to earn extra money while studying to become a judge.

Cutie Mark: A balance scale with a feather in the right and a heart on the left. She got it at school one day when the teacher set up a mock trial. Since there was an odd number of ponies in her class and the two sides already had an even number. The teacher asked her if she would mind being the judge and offered her extra credit. Feather accepted, and the teacher helped her make a costume and push a podium to the front of the room. After hearing both sides and making her decision, she was confused about why everyone was congratulating her. Her teacher showed her in the mirror, and after getting permission she left during recess to go show her family.
Unique Traits: Tends to wave her hooves in the air as she talks and doesn't even realize she's doing it.

History: Feather grew up in one of the many Bat pony colonies across Equestria. As a filly she lived for being able to see ponies from other colonies at the conclave. However, she considered few of them actual friends due to not seeing each other long enough to form true friendship. Her best friend in the colony was her cousin, even though he would always get in trouble, and she would always tell. The two of them would often play games like superheroes or detectives. When she announced her move to Canterlot, the two of them got into an argument. He claimed that she was abandoning her family, she said she couldn't stay cooped up forever. They still exchange letters, but their relationship is strained.She is close to her father, although her mom is more distant, as well as her twin brother. Her father kept trying to pressure her brother into military service as one of Luna's guards, while her brother wanted to be a writer. As for Feather, her father approved her career choice. Her mom was the opposite. She approved of her brother's job, while she wanted Feather to be a house wife and marry into a noble family. An idea she protested. Loudly.  The two attempt to be civil, but both of them are to stubborn to come to an agreement.Her brother isn't as determined as she is, and just goes along with whatever their mom says.Most of her time was spent spent reading in an old treehouse, avoiding her mom, and helping her father with boot camp by setting up dummies or cleaning. When she announced she was going to Canterlot, her father was happy for her, her brother said to be careful, and her mom glared at her and left the room. Feather is trying to become closer to her brother, and they exchange letters as well, with the condition that neither of them mentions Mom.Feather is currently in Canterlot university after getting a scholarship from an organization that helps bat ponies enter society. During one of her first days there, she meant a group of supposedly nice ponies, who did a complete 180 when they found out she wasn't from a noble house, calling her "that common bat pony criminal." She quickly discovered that acting how they expected her to kept them away.

Character Personality: Feather can be headstrong and unwilling to compromise, which makes her more comfortable working on school projects alone. However in a social setting, she is super outgoing, although she only sees a few others as close friends. Everyone else is just ponies she talks to sometimes. Most of the time she is perfectly willing to teach others about bat pony culture, but if she's working or if you said something offensive, Feather will glare at you until you leave. She's not above useing the bat pony's reputation if it keeps bullies away from her. Feather can't stand the stuffy ponies who look down on others and assume they're criminals just because of social status.
Character Summary: Feather Light is a young bat pony mare currently living in Canterlot to farther her studies. Her cutie mark is a balance scale with a heart on one side and a feather in the other. She has a light gray body that looks slightly purple, and a sky blue mane and tail. She had an average life in a bat pony colony.  Feather is outgoing in social settings and dislikes ponies who make assumptions based on social status.

[RainbowFoxxy]

Hi! I'd be happy to give this one a review for you

 

Overall, I really like this character. She's got a good theme and I can see you would have plenty to work with when RPing her. 

 

That being said:

 

Please un-bold the first half of the app. It's fine to bold the headings but making all of it bold is too much.

 

"couped up" should be "cooped up" in second to last line of the history.

 

The history section needs to be expanded beyond the relationship she has with her cousin. Please try to focus more on your character. It's fine to portray interactions with others however this section needs to be built up a little more. Tell us about her parents, other situations that may have given rise to parts of her personality. If you need more help developing this section I can make some recommendations for site certfied RPers you can ask advice from. 

 

That's all for now. Please let me know by making a new post in this thread when you've had a chance to edit.

 

 

 

 

[batponyisbestpony]

2 hours ago, RainbowFoxxy said:

Hi! I'd be happy to give this one a review for you

 

Overall, I really like this character. She's got a good theme and I can see you would have plenty to work with when RPing her. 

 

That being said:

 

Please un-bold the first half of the app. It's fine to bold the headings but making all of it bold is too much.

 

"couped up" should be "cooped up" in second to last line of the history.

 

The history section needs to be expanded beyond the relationship she has with her cousin. Please try to focus more on your character. It's fine to portray interactions with others however this section needs to be built up a little more. Tell us about her parents, other situations that may have given rise to parts of her personality. If you need more help developing this section I can make some recommendations for site certfied RPers you can ask advice from. 

 

That's all for now. Please let me know by making a new post in this thread when you've had a chance to edit.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for the feedback. I've fixed the typo and the bolding and added more details to her history.

[RainbowFoxxy]

Ok, I'm good with passing this along for second review  

[Bellosh]

This character app is missing fields for Residence and Occupation. Those two are rather essential for other users to get a quick understanding of who your OC is, so please add them in ASAP.

[batponyisbestpony]

20 hours ago, Bellosh said:

This character app is missing fields for Residence and Occupation. Those two are rather essential for other users to get a quick understanding of who your OC is, so please add them in ASAP.

Sorry about that. I think I deleted it by accident, it should be fixed now.

[Bellosh]