Sneaking off with an Empress! (Closed: Bellybutton, Princey)

[Elderflower]

 

Yup, this Jade chick was pretty alright in Lucy’s books. The peryton shrugged and happily followed her out of the courtyard, keeping herself uncharacteristically quiet as the dragon-y mare found one of the fancy hostess’ servers and gracefully charmed her way into getting them a secluded, private room so Lucy could pierce her ear.

The room they were brought to was a large, lavish bathroom in Frostlace’s personal quarters. Though her chambers were, technically, off-limits, bringing them here meant they could remain undisturbed. Hopefully the server wouldn’t get in trouble for this... And hey, this place was cleaner than Lucy knew a room could be, sparkling and shiny and more expensive than anything she had ever personally set eyes on. The ceilings and the windows were all huge, everything was made with marble or polished fine metals...yowza. At least it was a good place to set up shop. And the unicorn stallion who brought them here lit it up with a pretty, mood-setting swathe of magelights hovering up in the ceiling.

Lucy offered the server stallion a smirk and a nod, then swept inside after the princess and popped her beat-up old guitar case open on the edge of the huge bathtub. It seemed like an odd place to bring them, but the stallion had been right about one thing - this was definitely the cleanest room, and the lack of carpets and pillows and blankets meant a lot less dust. It was actually ideal!

The peryton let out a loud, long whistle, “Wouldja lookit this, Jadey?” she asked, basically spinning as she took in the site of the room, “I ain’t never seen anything this expensive before. Dang!”

The doe cast her gaze back and offered Feng a little wink, “Someone as pretty as yourself must feel at home in a place like this though, huh? It suits ya. Fancy and gorgeous.”

After a bit of rifling in her guitar case, Lucy fished out a little wooden box full of her piercing supplies and set to work. “I’ll take a minute to get everythin’ ready. You two go ahead and get cozy.”

Lucy turned back to her work sporting a vicious grin, leaving the two to their own devices while she set to putting her masterpiece together. She had the fine silver chains, the silver fish, silver stud, and silver lotus flower. Plus a couple of gems. A concentrated wrinkle of her nose and a narrowing of her eyes, and Lucy fished out a pink sapphire so she could get to work. She wiped off one of the sparkling marble steps that lead to the large bathtub, dropped the sapphire on it, and crushed it with her hoof.

While the pieces of the gem scattered on the step, the magelight began reflecting off of them, casting dancing pink reflections of light on the ceiling and...hmmm…

Lucy smirked and shuffled her position a little to the side, causing the pink light to reflect across the room where Yue and Feng were instead of just on her and the ceiling and the far wall. What a lovely romantic mood was filling this room as Lucy was clearly too focused on her work to join in the conversation… Go for it, Feng, the doe willed as she stared hard at work, smiling on the inside as she projected the image of complete focus and obliviousness towards the outside world.

[Blueblood]

Feng was... increasingly less sure what to make of all this.  He'd pre-screened Lucy, in so far as he was able, seeing in her a sound if vulgar kind of wisdom; if Empress Yue wished to associate with commoners incognito, she seemed to be the sort of commoner that would be valuable to meet, and impossible to under any other circumstance.  So far, so good.

 

Then there was the issue of ornamentation and jewelry.  Again, fine; the Empress should have all the finery she desired, and more so in fact.  The Splendor of the Dragon Throne was in and of itself a pillar of it's legitimacy.  So much so that even the lavishness of Frostlace's inner chambers was restrained by comparison.  Here, luxury was employed for the viewer to merely enjoy, rather than be overawed.  

 

Not that she could do so unaccompanied, heavens no!  The Watch must never take its eyes off her, and if Feng was to be their eyes, he was more than happy to do his duty.   Only... since Yu was incognito, he couldn't very well tell anyone why he was always watching her, or why he followed along on what was supposed to be a private meeting.  It was therefore unsurprising that the guests here were coming to a very different conclusion about his status, including Lucy if that grin and wink were anything to go by.  Not that they were incorrect, technically, but that only made it worse...

 

“I’ll take a minute to get everythin’ ready. You two go ahead and get cozy.”

 

*Oh, sure.  Could you not even try to be discreet?*  Feng remained stoic as he squirmed internally.  Lucy knew.  She had to know, it seemed the whole world knew his feelings for his Empress, besides the Empress herself.  Or, maybe she did know, and was merely being merciful in hiding that knowledge, to prevent the hue and cry from her servants and ministers from forever banishing him from her presence.  

 

*Those lot aren't here now, though.*  The thought flitted through his mind, as he looked from the punk deer to the serene qilin in turn.  One bold move, one courageous question could remove all uncertainty.  But what if he got a certain no?  What if she was horrified by the thought of affection from a lowly Watch agent?  What if tonight was the night his last forlorn hopes and dreams were dashed?

 

*Or they might come true.*  The foolish, rebellious, wild thoughts within him could not be silenced, only buried under discipline and training.  In the presence of one who wore such things openly, they were coming to life.  He could not remain silent, he must speak, he must!  

"I hope the finished work will be worthy of you."  Alright, it was a start.

[Bellosh]

 

If Lucy thought Countess Frostlace's private chambers were impressive... oh ho ho ho ho!

 

Yù Yuè didn't mean to dismiss the extravagance of the room she, her guard, and the peryton were in. After all, not every noble had the duty to display unimaginable splendor in every conceivable corner of their sanctuary. But that didn't change the fact that for the Empress, home felt even more grandiose than this bedroom.

 

"Heh heh heh," Yuè coyly offered in return; "You would be surprised to learn of the places I've called home over the years..." While that explained nothing, the qilin's statement was very much true. It had only been about a year ago when home meant modest living quarters in a monastery. Hmmm, perhaps a story for another time.

 

Lucy offered no resistance to letting Feng follow her and Yuè; the cheongsam-wearing qilin explained earlier that the two had come to the party together. However, the peryton seemed to enjoy winking at Yuè's bodyguard a lot, mostly when quipping about "Jade Moon's" looks. The qilin mare understood the game Lucy played; trying to tease Feng about his supposed attraction to the Empress. As Lucy didn't know Feng's true purpose, Yuè conceded that it was a logical assumption to make.

 

If only the peryton knew that all Watchers swore vows to forsake lovers...

 

Left alone with a quiet Feng while Lucy prepared her work station, Yuè pondered and pondered. With her idle thoughts currently centered on Feng, the royal qilin couldn't help but dwell further on her protector's Imperial Watch service so far. Traditionally, the role of personal guard was assigned to veteran Watchers of high regard, who were still ruthlessly effective fighters even if younger comrades were better fit for more physically demanding tasks. Being the sovereign's personal guard essentially signaled the twilight of a field Watcher's prestigious career; their only hope of seeing action again was if the rest of the imperial protectors failed at their jobs.

 

But Feng... he was still a young stallion at the peak of his life. The longma could have been doing all sorts of missions to build up his reputation. Instead, he volunteered himself (most of the time) for what was little more than a dead-end assignment. As long as Feng saw fit to be assigned to the Empress, he'd earn no glory. He definitely wasn't avoiding hard duties; the longma was notoriously gung-ho about shielding Yuè from danger. No... there had to be something else.

 

Was Feng... a spy? And for who? Ha, a ludicrous theory; all precautions were taken to ensure the Imperial Watch's absolute loyalty to the Dragon Throne. That left one other major hypothesis; that Feng... was allured by Yue in some fashion.

 

.....Not entirely out of the realm of possibility, to be honest. Yuè wasn't ignorant of her own attractiveness, both as an empress... and as a young mare when stripped of all finery (one need only to gaze at the art of Presteza of Trottingham to grasp the latter). And many wuxia novels loved harping on the tragic forbidden romances between Watchers and royalty.

Yuè was pulled out of her headspace by a comment from Feng, who wondered how Lucy's earrings for the qilin would turn out. At that moment, the punky peryton reflected beautiful pink light upon the two Long Sun sitting across the room, giving Yuè cause to smile and subtly wag her tail in delight. "I believe they shall, Feng..." Her Radiant Majesty remarked, turning her head towards the stalwart protector; "Don't you agree?"

[Blueblood]

The roiling tide of emotions were running so strong through Feng right now that he could hardly tell if the pink light surrounding the pair of them was real, or merely a projection of his inner life.  In this close and fairly intimate environment... he could see Yue in all her beauty.  Of course, his mind's eye kept such a vision before him at all times, as a guide, encouragement, perhaps even idol.  But now, she was here, present, as a fact.

 

Ah, but even as she was close, she was also so far away!  He had read those wuxia novels, as well, searching in vain for any shred of hope that his affections were anything but doomed.  Either they were un-reciprocated, and therefore only grounds for his dismissal, or worse, they were, and the resulting secrecy and scandal would only make of Yue's life a tragedy.  To inflict that upon her would be a violation of the whole spirit of being a Watcher.

 

So, here he sat, in the perfect environment and opportunity to admit his affections, relying on all his training and discipline to restrain his natural emotions and inclinations.  It was going to be close.  "I cannot say that I have had much opportunity to observe her craftsmareship."  He replied, idly continuing in their precious small talk.  "However it may be, they could only enhance, even by contrast, never detract."  He smiled.  The sentiment was somewhat corny, but demonstrably true, nonetheless.  If all the trappings of the Dragon Throne could not uglify Yu Yue by one iota, one mere pair of earrings would hardly do any damage.

[Bellosh]

 

Reading between the lines, Empress Yuè easily grasped that Feng was paying a compliment to her looks, a bit in an opaque fashion. It was just as well for the bodyguard, as maintaining a barrier of professionalism between himself and his charge was all important in the longma's line of work. Even more importantly, a proper empress needed to keep an aloof distance emotionally between herself and the servants loyal to her. The more an imperial sovereign fraternized with their underlings, the less he or she commanded an image of supreme majesty... and the less respect they received.

 

Many high-ranking voices within Empress Yuè's household staff were of the mind that the royal qilin was already pushing the bounds of familiarity with her connection to the Trottingham noble siblings, Presteza and Silverheart. But because those two were essentially foreigner guests in all but name, Yuè's friendship with them was mostly excused and given a pass. However, no such excuse could be mustered if something developed between Yuè and Feng; a relationship scandal at this stage would be catastrophic to the young mare's favorability with her courtiers.

 

Empress Yuè wasn't too terribly concerned about a scandal happening, though. How was an illicit relationship supposed to flourish like weeds if that affection only went one way? That didn't imply Yuè thought poorly of either Feng's character or physical appearance; it only meant the royal mare rarely felt sparks between her and the longma stallion. The fact was that not only the two of them were both painfully aware of their vastly unequal stations, but Yuè barely had any conception of who Feng was other than an occasional zealous protector with a streak of dry wit. Those were hardly the things to form a deep emotional connection around.

Keeping a polite composure, the Empress gave off a smile from her muzzle. She stayed silent for a moment, brainstorming a way to redirect the conversation elsewhere and keep up appearances that she was anything other than an empress. It then dawned on Yuè; "I don't believe you have told me much about yourself, Feng. Your family for example; it would please me to learn more about them." No matter one's social status, every Long Sun was ideally united by a devotion to family, making it a suitable subject for idle conversation.

[Blueblood]

Family.  Oh, dear...

 

There were few subjects for the young Watcher that were so potentially fraught with danger with Empress Yue as his own feelings for her, but his own family was cruising in at a comfortable second.  It wasn't that there was any real abuse or lack of affection, really, it was just... well, the Watch had asked Feng to give up claims to filial inheritance, and to a certain extent that meant severing connections that were usually quite tough for the average Long Sun to stomach.  Feng, on the other hoof, had barely any reservations doing so.

 

And now, here was the subject of his forbidden romance, prodding into the dark corners of his secretive mind.  He opened his mouth, meaning to speak a few, innocuous words of diversion-

And shut it again.  He couldn't.  The stress of keeping his feelings inside was almost too much, he couldn't add another restraint on top of that.  The pressure would burst, and he'd blab all in a confession that would be awkward and embarrassing for them both.  No, better to let out the pressure by the confession of a few truths.  It wouldn't be wearing his heart on his sleeve, but the poor thing needed at least some air.

 

"Yes..."  He sighed.  "They... don't have the best of reputations, back home.  I come from a small mountain village, the sort where everyone knows not only you, but your ancestors as well.  Mine were rather famous for being failures of a spectacular order.  You know what it's like to grow up, everyone expecting you to crash and burn?  I don't even know if my own parents thought I wouldn't, but I know they were glad when I left home.  I stood some chance, without the neighbors watching me.  My sister must have felt the same way; she's in Long Kong, now.  I write home about what I can, and I think I've done them proud, but... I sometimes can't shake that old fear, you know?  That if I slow down too much, the errors of my ancestors will catch up with me."

 

Feng blinked.  That all had come out in a torrent, taking even him by surprise.  He wasn't sure... had he ever told anyone any of this?  Well, his sister Yin knew, no one else, though, for sure.  Well, now his Empress knew where his hyper-zeal came from, at least.  There was a whole lot of pressure he was putting on himself, to buck the trend of generations.  If he could not reveal all of how he felt, at least they could share a deeper understanding.

[Bellosh]

 

Listening Feng describe his family was... not as pleasantly casual as Yuè expected from a small-talk question. To think that her loyal bodyguard was struggling with the burden of escaping generations' worth of ancestral shame. How awful it must have been to live under what was essentially a curse upon one's family. Ugggh, Yuè should have known better than to pry from that angle. She of all Long Sun should have known that most members of the Imperial Watch weren't exactly known for their stellar backgrounds.

 

Well, there was no way to turn back Empress Yuè's question, so it was up to her to set things right... somehow. As always, there was the risk of being too familiar with Feng if the royal qilin tried comforting him via normal means. As the Empress of Long Guo, it was Yuè's sacred duty to be the unyielding rock for her people. To be the source of her kingdom's strength if courage runs low. Therefore, Yuè needed to be strong for Feng as she would for any other subject.

 

"I cannot pretend to know how it feels to be in your position," Yuè replied after several moments. Although a twinge of concern could be perceived in the qilin mare's eyes, they did not dare stare at the longma stallion just yet. Meanwhile, the mare's regal voice did everything it could to project stalwart resilience. "From a certain point of view however, you and I are not so different. Like yourself, the burden of expectations... weighs heavily on me. Our ancestors, whether illustrious or nefarious... they cast long shadows all the same."

Yuè finally allowed herself a glance at Feng. "But I learned from my teachings that nothing in the material world ever stays the same. Just as the winter is always destined to turn to spring, a family's misfortune will one day bloom into prosperity. If you purge yourself of all doubt, to allow yourself to flow with the currents of Nature," a soft smile from Yuè at last; "You'll be pleasantly surprised with the destination..."

[Blueblood]

So regal; such a picture of philosophical resilience.  In any other set of circumstances, Feng would have gladly accepted the advice, cherishing the view he had obtained of the still, calm pond of the Empress' soul.  Only, now, in this unexpectedly intimate setting, he found himself quite disinclined to merely accept.  As the old proverb went, 'within the longma is the storm,' and they very eye of that storm swirled and thundered in his heart.  He could not keep his peace, even if his beloved Empress himself counseled so.  After all, for tonight, Yu Yue was just that, Jade Moon, not the occupant of the dragon throne.

 

"I have found myself unable to take comfort in contemplating nature."  He replied, gaze cast down to the floor as he also found it hard to breach the gap of decorum that yawned between them.  "Even if I could pull myself fully into the summer, I could never forget that winter, too, always returns.  And winter is long and cold in the mountains."  Feng sighed, beginning wistfully, but ending in another outburst.  "I'd as sooner try to turn a mountain upside-down as to box with the wind and clouds!  They may be alike impossible, but at least the uprooted mountain would be undeniable, a sign to all that came after that nothing is to be called impossible!"

 

The Qilin mare might then take the opportunity to glance at Feng's cutie mark, and see the maple leaf on the upside-down mountain.  Perhaps now, she might also get an understanding of what it meant to him.  For Feng himself, he now found his gaze directly fixed in Yu's own.  The gentle concern and soft smile he briefly saw there sparked his forlorn hope, sending it charging from the recesses of his mind to lock in a death-grapple with his better sense.  It would not be an equal contest normally, but surprise had given the edge to hope.  He had to know, for certain now, once and all, if he was foolish or if his hope may yet connect with reality...

 

"You know."  He said, simply.  A smile of his own, not untinged with sadness, grew upon his face.  "I deserve a reprimand, perhaps.  I ought to be better a keeping secrets than that.  Perhaps not from you, though."

[Bellosh]

 

.....Had Feng ever considered embracing his philosopher side more? Yù Yuè certainly seemed to believe that her bodyguard just may have the soul of one... and if there was one thing that was true of all the great warriors, their hearts were cultured via poetry, literature, calligraphy, and all the other creative pursuits. Unlike brutish savages like the the eastern barbarians beyond the meandering Serpent Wall or those loathsome winged "dragons" of the West, a proper disciple of the martial arts lived for more than greed and violence.

 

It was one thing to study such legendary paragons, and another to connect with somepony who has also read of the great deeds and tales of old, but to finally talk with a living embodiment of the philosophical warrior? All this time, Yuè's eyes were open and yet they failed to perceive Feng's inner depths until now. Beside the Empress was a stallion in which the Aspect of Fire resonated clearly and brightly.

 

Just like Yuè.

 

Feng was miles out of Yuè's league when it came to social standings, but no artificial class differences existed between all Long Sun who cultivate the Heart of the Dragon within themselves. Yet aside from an all-too-brief widening of the eyes as Yuè stumbled across her releavation, she manage to leak no additional signal to indicate how Feng was no longer just a mere bodyguard with a probable crush on his sovereign.

 

"You forget your place Feng," the qilin mare quietly assured with a smirk, glancing away to ensure that Lucy wasn't able to overhear; "All we are is an ordinary pair of Long Sun at a lively party. Speak your mind, and enjoy yourself."

A minute or so ago, Yuè had also made the mental connection between Feng's mention of turning mountains upside-down and his cutie mark. Hmmm, maybe there was yet a more upbeat anecdote to pry out of the Imperial Watcher? "The cutie mark on your flank," the royal qilin's eyes darted back to Feng as she pointed at the other's rear; "I couldn't help but notice it when you were talking just now. It would please me to know how you earned your mark....."

[Blueblood]

A Watcher must be on his guard at all times, always aware of their surroundings, and always alert to react swiftly.  Feng was, of course, strictly trained and disciplined in all three, and especially to remain so while in the presence of the Empress.  However, as Yu Yue pointed out, right here and now, he was merely one ordinary Long Sun talking to another at a party.  Her remark got through his guard via that back door.  He felt his awareness narrow, blocking out his peripheral vision to fill his entire attention with the mare in front of him, her voice, eyes, expression... what did her slight widening of the eyes mean?  Such thoughts whirled through his head, slamming his alertness against the walls of his cranium until it stumbled away, dazed.  He was now quite off his normal reservations, and it would take but a little pull from Yu to bring out everything that he had for so long kept carefully hidden under the mask of decorum and duty.

 

And pull she did, pointing at his cutie mark and inquiring as to its origin.  "Oh, well, I should be pleased to tell you!"  The last of his metaphorical mask dropped fully off his face, leaving a shining, nay, practically blazing pair of eyes and a smile affixed to a mouth working overtime.  "It all began when one of my playmates lost his puppy.  He was one of the few foals around who would visit even after being warned by his parents about our family; anyway, I couldn't stand to see him so broken up!  So, I went out searching for his little friend, and stumbled across a member of the Imperial Watch on patrol.  I can't remember if I knew that at the time, in any case, all I cared about was getting help for my search, as the villagers didn't really listen to me.  Well, he did!  And he helped me turn out all of the town for a search party; we must have gone into every nook and cranny on the mountain.  Still know it like the back of my hoof all these years later... anyway, after a full night and a day, we found him!  The villagers seemed to be a bit put out at the end of it, but the Watcher said he was impressed by my energy and persistence, and said with a little bit of discipline, I could join the Watch!  That was the first time someone who didn't know anything about my family history had really assessed me; gave me hope that I might actually escape that legacy!  And that's when my cutie mark appeared."

 

Such was his story, poured out in a rush.  Like many musicians upon the wind instruments, Feng had seemed to master the art of circular breathing.  Which was mildly unfortunate, as no pause for breath meant that his momentum carried him much further than requested or intended.  "Well, I took his advice, and joined the Academy.  That was back when your father was still on the throne, at least he was when I started, but in the middle of my studies, you were coronated!  So we kind of had a crash course in shifting our trained veneration from a wise old Emperor to a pretty, young... well, you.  I guess that's where I first started getting feelings for you, although if you'll forgive me for saying so, they're only stronger now that I know you better...."

 

Finally, finally, his brain caught up to his mouth, putting the brakes on far, far too late.  He hadn't even kept his voice down, meaning that Lucy was completely able to overhear everything he said, and grasp it's meaning.  He blinked, trying to gather his scattered thoughts, and then sighed.  The corner of his mouth did turn upwards soon, though, as he said in an understated tone.  "Also, did I mention that if I don't keep my passions under strict discipline, they lead me by the tongue into wild, strange, and dangerous places?  Well, now you know."

[Bellosh]

 

The story of how Feng earned his cutie mark started out innocently enough. Even from the start, he was the sort of stallion who left no hill unturned in pursuit of an objective. And the way Feng told his story... it was much akin to a river gushing from a break in a dam. Still, rounding up an entire village to search for one lost puppy was a noble way of acquiring a cutie mark, that much couldn't be denied.

 

As with any overflowing river however, nothing could contain Feng's flood of words as he started describing his Imperial Watch training without being asked about it, not giving any time to pause. Yuè's smile grew forced and uneasy; in his storytelling zealousness, the imperial bodyguard had just blurted out exactly who the two of them were. Not only that, but Feng just had to blurt out his attraction to Empress Yuè... as if it hadn't already been obvious enough.

 

Since Feng's confession merely validated what Yuè already came to suspect, there was little room for her to feel shock. That didn't keep her muzzle from contorting in awkwardness. So much for attending this party as an ordinary pair of Long Sun. Yuè sighed; she of all qilin should have remembered that Feng's lips were poorly sealed.

 

Moments later though, the qilin mare's face cast aside the phony smile in exchange for an expression of resoluteness. "Feng..." Yuè directed her gaze straight forward, her voice akin to a mother telling her son a hard truth; "...Do you not recall the oath you made when you joined the Watch? To swear loyalty to your Empress... means renouncing taking a lover. It has been this way since the First Dynasty, and I alone do not have the power to throw aside such a long-lasting tradition." It pained the Empress to have to say these things to her personal bodyguard just as she got to appreciate his hidden depths, but she would be a poor ruler by failing to sternly enforce boundaries between ruler and attendant.

 

"Even if a Watcher like yourself were allowed to love another soul freely, it would be improper of an Empress to exploit her influence... and take advantage of a servant's feelings. Please understand Feng; I must weigh the needs of the Dragon Kingdom before everything else, and I cannot freely serve my subjects if my integrity is called into question. For these reasons..."

 

".....I can never reciprocate the feelings in your heart."

[Blueblood]

It was patently obvious to Feng that his confession had hit the room like a grenade.  The full reverberations of this impact were as yet unknown, but what could be said for certain is that nothing could be quite the same as it was between him and the Empress again.  And yet... even though that prospect was frightening, it was also freeing, in some odd way.  A burdening secret had been shed from his shoulders; and even though a previous stability had been compromised and left to chaos, the Watcher was unencumbered by the need to conceal the truth in his fight to wrestle some habitable order out of this situation.  A brief flash of memory brought Feng's mind back to the banquet where Discord had shown up, perhaps summoned by his unconscious.  He had been given an insight then, how one's desires could never be fulfilled save by honestly stating what they were at the outset.

 

Well, now seemed to be the time to put that hypothesis to the test.  Not that he expected Yu Yue to immediately reciprocate; there were of course going to be objections.  Feng had spent too many sleepless nights wresting with them himself to deny their existence or validity.  But, those nights had given him answers, too, at least in so far as her first argument was concerned.  "I do indeed recall my oath.  The exact words were, 'I shall hold loyalty to the Empress alone, forsaking family, lovers, and all outside obligations.'  It also ends with, 'My life and honor are sworn to the Empress's welfare and will, to do with as she will.'  If I were to take any other lover, Your Majesty, it would indeed be a violation.  But for you... it's honestly more of a culmination.  Certainly, you can't argue that it represents a conflict of interest."

 

So much for the legal argument, then.  Feng was free of guilt, as far as his own conscience was concerned.  But Yu... well, she had her own burdens.  And they were compelling ones, for sure, with all the force of tradition and temperament behind them.  The easy thing to do now would be to accept them, after all, she wasn't upset.  Yue was a very understanding mare, willing to take a confession like Feng's into account, disappoint him as gently as possible, and by the end of the evening they could be reconciled back to their familiar, professional relationship on a more stable ground.

 

That assumed, of course, that Feng was the sort of longma who would go for the easy way.  And that was just not how he was at the best of times, let alone at such a time as this, when his own thoughts and emotions were running at a high clip.  The regal qilin's straightforward gaze met Feng's own, intense expression.  The pupils were open, seeming to suck in the surrounding light with the rapacity of a searching mind.  The iris was as sharp as a circular blade, cutting away the truth from all the rest.  It was the true gaze of the Imperial Watch that the Empress now faced; the eyes she employed to seek out what was hidden in the realm.  As this was in all likelihood the first time they had been turned in on her and her own heart, Yue might find it a disconcerting experience.

 

"Yue... of my own free will, I have abandoned family, legacy, and property already for your sake.  From the moment I took my oath, I could no longer truly count my life as my own; independent of my romantic feelings.  And even all that I had left, my reputation, career... I just risked it all on the bet that you would summarily dismiss me after my confession, because I knew that my service to you would deteriorate under the weight of secrecy.  I have no advantage left that you can take from me, whatever you do."    That... honestly hurt for him to say, and may well have hurt Yue to hear.  How much did she really think about what she demanded already from her servants; did she think that their own emotions had no weight in their loyalty?  Did she even remember that they had feelings towards her, feelings of affection and pride rather than judgment and suspicion?

 

His eyes were still on her, and he felt that he could see something familiar behind her eyes.  The shades of ancestors, the substance of tradition.  The ones whose gaze one could never escape in life or death.  And if he had to guess, there was one particular shade, the father who had entrusted her with the throne, that must weigh more heavily than all those put together.  Feng knew well enough how hard they were to bear, and the dread of a bad reputation was nothing to sneeze at; he certainly knew that.  It wasn't something he'd wish on anypony, let alone Yue... but he also knew that it could be faced, borne, and overcome.

 

It may well be that he had no true claim over his Empress' heart, but he could at least expose any false ones.  "Well, so much for me.  I cannot object to your decision.  But as one boon to a faithful, please answer one question honestly: when you say what you do, do you speak from your own heart, or as a mouthpiece of the dead?"

[Bellosh]

 

Feng's refusal to accept defeat had now begun to grate on Yù Yuè's nerves, although though her face remained mostly placid. What did the bodyguard hope to accomplish by finding loopholes in his oath when he had already been told that his Empress could never return his feelings? What sort of fool's hope caused Feng to believe that Empress Yuè potentially had even a tenth of the romantic feelings that he felt for her?

 

Contrary to natural assumptions that surrounded demure young mares, Yuè was no mere wallflower waiting to be wooed by the first stallion to come her way. She was the Heavenly Daughter of Dragons... and a living embodiment of Fire. The will of the Empress would not be subdued by Feng's attempts to make the royal qilin second-guess her commitment. No amount of desperation on the longma stallion's part would encourage Yuè to see otherwise... if anything, it only reinforced her resolve to set Feng straight. One only had to look at the mare's ever-so-increasing hardening of her eyes to realize this.

 

"...a mouthpiece of the dead..."

 

The sparks inside Yuè's heart erupted into a wildfire. Was Feng insinuating that his empress was nothing more than an empty vessel parroting the beliefs of long-gone sages, philosophers, and her own Father? "Need I remind you," Yuè sternly got up from her seat, swiftly signaling with an authoritative hoof signal that Feng was to remain sitting; "That it is our time-honored traditions which form the Dragon Kingdom's very bedrock. Without them... there wouldn't BE an Imperial Watch for you to serve in."

 

Empress Yuè's expression softened, all too aware that she had momentarily revealed the true emotions of an ordinary qilin and not the unyielding composure of a proper imperial sovereign. Nonetheless, her gaze persisted to piece through Feng. "Since you asked me a question, it is only fair that I shall ask one in return. Tell me Feng; let's suppose... I was never born into the imperial family. Instead of the heir to the Dragon Throne, I was merely another face you saw in the streets of Huangjing."

 

"Now ignore the emotions in your heart, and answer me with complete truthfulness." A pregnant pause passed; "....Would you have still saw fit to idolize me... had I not been your Empress?"

[Blueblood]

While it would have been easy to say that this conversation wasn't going as well as he planned, Feng had always known in his heart of hearts that airing out the truth was going to be painful.  Indeed, he would hardly have waited this long to reveal the depths of his emotions had he not had such intimations of the future.

 

But it was one thing to know vaguely what the future was likely to hold; it was something else entirely to experience the raw present.  It was one thing to have one's romantic advances be rejected, but that wasn't what Feng was seeing; Yu Yue did not put him on the payroll of a Watcher because he was satisfied with the surface appearance of things.  No, he could sense something deeper here, something like the Empress rejecting the whole idea of romance for herself in general, not even seeing him.  This suspicion was supported by the nature of her first, authoritarian response.  "That isn't an answer to my question, your majesty.  The Watchers join for their own reasons; the tradition serves us, not the other way around."
 

So far, his own flames had not risen to the point where they engulfed his vision, his reason, his voice.  The rational part of his mind was still mastering his emotions.  At least, that's what he thought.  In truth, the restraints upon his speech were more complicated than that.  The privacy of this room, the previous attitude of the Empress, all had lifted the weights from his tongue, giving it the freedom to utter what Feng felt was absolute truth.  Again, so he thought.

 

But there had been one restraint remaining, and Yu had just put her hoof upon it.  Feng did idolize her, many months before he was even in her presence.  True, the time he had spent with her, paying attention, learning about her, had given that idol in his mind realistic detail to flesh out the idealizations.  But it was there, all the same; he had bowed himself and his emotions to it, letting it restrain his action and thought.  Now, however, the real mare had ventured forth, seeking to put him down with her armor-piercing question.  But she had not hit his heart; instead the bolt had hit the idol of herself, shattering the shallow image of perfection that blocked Feng's vision.  Now, he saw in front of him not the idealized image of a mare, but a real, pretty, but genuinely irritating mare.  And one to whom he now had no reason not to give a piece of his mind.

 

"You know what?  No, no I probably wouldn't have idolized you!  If you were just another face on the street, I would have smiled at you, and if you smiled back, I would have gone up and introduced myself.  And who knows?  Maybe you wouldn't have accepted me, but maybe you would have, maybe I could have courted you normally, without strained and frightened silences followed by outbursts; maybe I could have confessed my affections straightforwardly, and maybe you wouldn't have been so bucking insufferable when I did!"

 

Feng's own internal firestorm was up an blazing now, to the point where wisps of smoke were just barely visible now as he powered through his speech like a locomotive.  "I mean, what kind of question is that?  Did you think me some... naive mountain rube living in a pink cloud of his mother's fairy tales?  Or that I was some tuft-hunting toadlicker looking to use you to climb the status ladder?  Is that what you see when you look at me!?"  He was breathing heavily now, the initial outburst had drained his anger, leaving only the hurt in its place.  She was looking at him, many times, but had she really seen Feng any better than he'd seen her?

 

"You're so... awfully self-sacrificial, I wonder if you think it's your duty to be unhappy.  What was your plan?  I almost bet I can say it now; you would have ended up with the first stallion to silver-tongue the bureaucrats with his political sales pitch.  And I would have just had to stand there, watching, as little pieces of you died one by one.  Do you really think..."  He choked, panting now, as the force of his imagination forced salt water through the wellsprings of his eyes.  "Do you really think it's for the good of the Empire, for all the long sun, the poor folks I grew up with, if they, struggling to figure out how to live, looked up to the very pinnacle of life, and saw a mare who sold herself for a scrap of paper?  If my parents had married for anything like that, they couldn't have withstood everything the village threw at us."

 

Heaving a great, smoke-filled sigh, Feng's eyes finally dropped.  The crowning wildfire within had burned through it's fuel, like the flames consuming the decrepit flesh of the pheonix, leaving only the egg of a new life.  Feng didn't know what that new life would be, though, considering how much of his old life he'd probably just arsoned.  "You can reject my affections, if you don't think I'm worthy.  But don't you dare..."  He lifted his eyes again, red with tears, but wide and seeing clearly.  "Don't you dare think that you're not worthy, as a mare, Empress or not!"

[Bellosh]

 

It would have been easy enough for Yuè to scream right back at Feng. It was so frustrating to see the longma stallion reject an opportunity for quiet introspection. Instead, Feng chose the path of further arguing, daring to describe his Empress as "bucking insufferable". A more unforgiving, short-tempered ruler would have silenced their ingrate bodyguard with grave threats long ago. Feng should be thanking the Celestial Dragons that his sovereign wasn't vindictively petty.

 

Ergo, Yuè opted to let the rapids run their course. She didn’t need to study the Harmonious Path’s teachings to grasp how extremely difficult it was to swim against a blabbermouth current.

 

The Empress picked up on the change the winds, with Feng's words slowly losing their fiery edge. Things became all too clear for the qilin mare; somewhere down the line, her protector must have convinced himself that his duty as an Imperial Watcher consisted of not just merely guarding his charge from physical harm, but from emotional hurt. All of Feng's self-worth was hinging on his ability to please Yù Yuè in every way possible; failure to him meant a continuation of the disgrace suffered by Feng's family.

 

Nothing the stallion blurted had a chance of shaping Yuè's innermost desires; she wasn't simple-minded enough to fall over heels for a forbidden bodyguard based only on an exchange of heartfelt confessions. But the royal qilin's heart had softened by the time Feng used up the last of his fuel, for it was not in her nature to spread cruelty. If only the stallion could be taught to understand.....

 

Yuè silently stared at Feng with compassion for several moments before sighing and turning away. "It doesn't matter how worthy I am," she explained; "Romance is at best a fleeting indulgence for a ruler... and little else. At its very worst, romance is a potential weakness to be exploited by nefarious schemers." Eyeing open access to a balcony, the qilin mare found herself compelled to walk outside, rested her forelegs on the railing, and take in the nighttime view of the forested Stallian outskirts.

 

"My father... once shared the same sentiment as you." The qilin cast a longing gaze towards the bright moon, colored with the same mutton-fat shade as her own coat. "Although he had been crowned emperor and married an empress consort who enjoyed the people's approval, it was another mare still who kindled his deepest passions. Even as the Emperor fathered many children with his Empress, he made many trips outside the Palace to be in the company of the lady he truly cared for with all his heart... and who truly cared for him in turn."

 

"Years passed, until the Emperor and Empress became distant from one another. As was his royal right, my father rebounded by summoning the courage to marry his true love..... my mother. Those next two years of matrimony were both the happiest and saddest times of her life. Yes, she had me and my twin brother to love and cherish, but my mother was despised by the Imperial Court. They, and most of the servants, were loyal to the Empress, leaving my mother without friends in the Palace. Once unsavory rumors about her started spreading like wildfire throughout the Imperial Capital... well, that was the end. My mother abandoned the Palace for life in the distant countryside, and wouldn't dare show her face in Huangjing again until my coronation, long afterward."

 

Another sigh escaped Yuè's lips. "I was too young to remember the turmoil of my parents' marriage, but from what I heard from those who knew the late Emperor best, he never was the same stallion after my mother separated from him....." Several seconds of quiet passed between mare and stallion, and it almost appeared as if the mare's eyes were watering up. Yet all too soon, Yuè's gaze hardened, and her cloven hoof pressed down hard upon the railing.

 

"I will not make the same mistake as Father did," the Empress resolutely declared as she twisted her head to intensely gaze into the orbs of her faithful bodyguard; "Any romantic pursuit that will end in inevitable scandal and heartbreak... is something I have no wish to partake in."

[Blueblood]

The flames of truth and passion had burned through Feng, consuming all the dead wood that he had built himself up out of during his formative years.  It was a painful surprise, honestly, just how much of himself had been that junk.  His obsessive affection for Yu Yue had certainly been put through the fire, and the bodyguard almost felt as if it had been wholly burned out of him.

 

But then... she spoke.  She spoke of her past, of hr origins, of the burdens placed upon her by the actions of her progenitors.  That struck Feng, as he followed her out into the balcony, seeing the stars above, and the revelry below, and yet somehow isolated from both.  The Empress could talk all she liked about him not understanding the burdens of rulership, but the burdens she spoke of right now... he knew all too well.  It cut him to the quick to hear this, right to the heart, right down to that part of himself where affection for Yu Yue truly lay, devoid even of any selfish desire to have her for himself.  He never could stand the thought of someone else being miserable and alone...

 

"A mistake."  He repeated, in a low voice.  His eyes met hers, wet, softer than her gaze.  "You see that which brought you into the world as a mistake?"  It was hard for him to hold his gaze at her; he knew, as far as the argument went, that he had lost.  There was no way now that he could win her affection for him, but... but there was something else that refused to let him lapse into silence.  The sense of something still wrong that would not let his conscience rest.

 

"I've lain awake at night, sometimes, during the really bad nights, unable to see my ancestry as anything but a series of... foolish long sun doing foolish things, where a little wisdom would have left me out of the world, and everyone happier for it."  He'd hit bottom now; he thought he'd emptied his soul before, but the basement floor he'd found had been but a ceiling to a lower floor still.  "If I'm being honest, that's one of the reasons I left home, why I never want to stay still.  That thought catches up with you, if you're idling."  And the very thought that his beloved Empress could be suffering those same tortures, driven by the same desire to not fall into that thought again... she clung to her duty, he saw now, as part of justifying her very existence.

 

"But you know?  Maybe I've been too hard on them.  My ancestors, I mean.  They may have been failures in every other respect, but they succeeded in being ancestors.  Heh, that's more than I'm likely to manage, now.  Keeping the chain unbroken, all the way back to the first great father and mother of us all.  It's the oldest tradition there is; the whole Empire is just a structure built on top of that.  And that... you know, that's probably why we have to respect our elders, however respectable they are or not.  It's not them we respect so much as Ancestry itself.  And, well, Romance is a part of that, for both of us.  We disrespect that which brings us into existence at our peril."  Feng was thinking aloud at this point, simply because the longma thought better aloud.  Not everypony found wisdom in introspection; he himself had found only depression, on those dark nights isolated and alone.  But in dialogue, in passing through and dredging up the deepest parts of himself for another, he was beginning to learn to be wise.

 

Having passed through the underworld now, the hero began to climb up from the depths of thought, passing by the more material realities of the past, on the way back to the present moment.  "I wonder, now, what would have been different if your mother had been your father's first wife, rather than his second.  Much political strife would have been lessened, I think, as there would have been no old Empress around with lingering loyalties.  Perhaps the mistake was the first marriage, rather than the second.  Maybe not, but, at the end of it all, it was only because he was willing to be foolish in his second attempt that he had the most worthy heir."  He smiled, brushing away the tears from his eyes with a wingtip.  "I never doubted that about you, not even once."

 

Feng's eyes were clear now, he took a deep breath, as if it were his first taste of clean air.  This was the end of any fight, for him.  Or at least, any fight for himself.  He felt re-oriented, properly so, towards Yu Yue.  The silly crush was gone, replaced with something deeper, more meaningful.  Perhaps not even romantic, though he didn't know for sure.

[Bellosh]

 

Tsk tsk tsk... some people like Feng and the Empress's very own sworn sister had a very hard time grasping that a lack of romance in a marriage did not necessarily preclude the begetting of heirs. Hell, if a matchmaker did their job right, romance could eventually blossom out of a marriage born of reasons other than love. Of course, weddings don't have astronomically high stakes attached to them for commoners, Yuè supposed. She'd have to be mindful of that.

 

Although Empress Yuè's more rational self would tell her to not be moved by sentimentality, the qilin's own eyes were starting to water from Feng's unreserved declaration of faith in her. After all the inner turmoil Yuè roused in Feng, and yet his conviction did not waiver. Such dedication to his Empress!

 

The qilin mare quickly turned her gaze back on the Moon to steel herself, but she forgot to hide that sweet gentle smile of hers as chuckled at the longma's words; "Let's not be too hasty in wishing the past played out differently. If the late Emperor chose his Empress out of love the first time around, he would have lost that golden opportunity to keep Long Kong deep in the fold... with the marriage of one of its most famous celebrities into the Imperial Family."

 

"Furthermore, tehehe," another soft chuckle from the Empress as he briefly turned towards her bodyguard; "There'd be no guarantee that I'd be born. At least, not in the manner you're accustomed to, Feng. So many things — big and small — would be different; all from the simple act of my Mother and Father consummating their love at an earlier date."

 

Ergo, don't use time magic to go into the past and rewrite history.

 

Out of the blue, Yuè gazed back up at the star-filled sky and sighed. Apparently, the time spent with Feng caused her heart to be in the right mood to start hemorrhaging private thoughts and doubts. "Sometimes I wonder what Father perceived in me that nobody else did. If he had known for years that I would be his successor, why then encourage me to attend the Monastery, instead of grooming me for rule in the traditional fashion? Aiyaaaa; I can only hope to find the answer in time... before it's too late."

 

“The mountain that stands tallest is the one that shuns the poisonous whispers of the wind.”

 

.....!!! Father's last words! Yuè should have known they'd come back to gnaw at her at a time like this.

Yuè let one of her forelegs stretch out to rest freely on the railing — all alone — as she lost herself to deep contemplation. "All I've ever wanted to do with my life is to make a difference; to extend compassion to all and fight injustice wherever it's found. And... to be worthy in the eyes of my ancestors; the last remaining bloodline of the First Imperial Sovereigns. Yet here am I as Empress, insignificant in the face of the Grand Tapestry of all that was, is, and ever will be...."

[Blueblood]

Seeing Yue's face light up with a gentle smile caused a grin to split Feng's own.  After all that they'd gone through tonight, it was a high privilege to see the Empress be so happy.  His lips did purse back to a more closed expression, briefly, at the mention of Long Kong being brought into the fold.  The Watcher had something of an inside knowledge of how the city and it's 'Divine Protectorate' operated, and... well, he had his own opinions about the advisability of bringing such a city closer to the heart of Long Guo.  However, he did have to acknowledge the justice of Yue's next point with a chuckle.

 

"Well, I suppose there's that.  It would be rather ungrateful of me to complain things didn't work out differently, when so many things right here and now are so... beautiful."  Feng diverted his gaze from her at the last word, not wanting to sound too forward now.  It was true, though; the night sky was clear and cool over the Stalliongrad manor, and the moon shone over the pale pastel colors of Yue's scales, giving them the shimmer of an etherial long.

 

He listened patiently to her doubts, though his mouth could not be stopped once she had finished her confession.   Something quiet, but forceful, was welling up in his heart and spirit; it would not let him be quiet in the face of sadness and insecurity.  "I can't say I know much about either course of training; I had something different altogether.  But you know?  I can't help but think your father would have some reason to think one more valuable than the other.  I mean, he was Emperor for what, how many decades?  Long enough to know what he wished he knew when he took the throne."  Slowly, cautiously, he stepped up beside her on the balcony, placing his hoof so as to touch, gently hold, Yue's own.

 

"Tapestries, though... I do know something about those.  My mother was a weaver in the village.  She told me, once, that if any thread was missing in a cloth, it would unravel, no matter how essential you think it is.  She told me life was like that; if anyone decided that they were insignificant, and that there was no reason for them to go on... the whole world would unravel just a little bit.  I think she told me that because she was worried about me before I got my cutie mark.  I would sometimes think that I might as well not exist, for all the good I was doing anyone else.  But, you never can tell, right, when and where the tug at the cloth's going to come.  You just need to cling tight to the threads around you, and weather the storm.  Because even if no one knows it, the world depends on you at the moment."

[Bellosh]

 

If Feng had dared profane the heavenly beauty of Empress Yuè with his touch a few minutes ago, he would have received more than just a mouthful for his transgression. But the qilin mare had returned to a tranquil state of mind, and so she felt no desire to remove her foreleg from the bodyguard's wary grasp. When it came down to it, Yuè welcomed the reassurance that gentle physical contact could provide; yet again, she was reminded how the Heart of the Dragon burned inside Feng.

 

"There are still so many questions I must meditate on in the months to come," the Empress further elaborated; "As ruler of the Dragon Kingdom, my most essential function is to act as its caretaker. To ensure that Long Guo remains a land of stability and not fall into chaos and disorder. I take my responsibilities as seriously as any empress, and yet... I cannot shake the feeling that I could be doing even more for my subjects. That is, if it were not for a force unseen which conspires against me. I fear by the time my reign comes to its end, my country will be no better off than when I inherited it."

 

The royal qilin sighed; "If only it was in my power to leave a mark behind from which all would benefit." Feng would feel his hoof being tightly squeezed by Yuè at this moment, who perhaps perceived that unconscious need to cling to the threads around her.....

[Blueblood]

As he felt Yue's hoof squeeze his own, Feng's breathing intensified, slightly.  This was a privilege granted to few, perhaps none, before him, yet he felt that it also brought with it no small amount of responsibility.  The Empress was not merely telling him about her burdens, she was literally sharing them, in that he was now helping her support the weight of all expectations placed upon her.  The mass of it was beginning to sit heavily upon his shoulders, as he knew that his words may well affect the course of her reign.

 

"When I was a foal..."  He began, feeling his words as cautiously as he had taken Yue's hoof, "Back during the reign of your father, I was so far from the capitol, there wasn't a whole heck of a lot he could do, personally, to make my life any better than it was.  Just holding it together enough for me to have the opportunity to grow as I did was enough.  It wasn't his job to improve my life, it was mine.  I like to think I was successful.  I think most long sun are in that situation, actually."  Feng's voice lightened, a bit back to his normal, curious self.  "Isn't that part of what your spiritual discipline training was all about?  Ponies, qilin, longma, and the like all disciplining themselves to become better people.  Perhaps the best thing you can do is set an example that way."

[Bellosh]

 

"Hmmmm....." Yù Yuè contemplated Feng's words for a moment; "You may have the right idea. After all, it's the reason why most of the rituals and traditions of court exist; so that the empresses and emperors of Long Guo serve as beacons of prestige for our people. Perhaps this line of thought deserves further consultation with my advisers."

 

Her hoof still locked with her bodyguard's, the Empress turned her body towards the longma stallion. "Thank you for your earnest fidelity, Feng. It-" Yuè momentarily wavered, the flames in her stomach fluttering from maintaining eye contact with Feng's red orbs for too long; "...It means a lot to me."

 

Earlier, it seemed so easy for Yuè to turn down the romantic feelings of a stallion she barely knew... a stallion who as part of his duties was honor-bound to cast love aside. Nonetheless, there had been something about Feng's compassionate spirit that triggered the Empress into revealing many of her deepest anxieties. And now, if Feng were have waited until this moment to spill the secrets of his heart, well... Yuè was unsure what would have then transpired.

 

Whatever was to happen now between the Empress and her Watcher, Yuè understood her real test of walking the tightrope between honoring the traditional ways and placating the needs of her heart was only just beginning.....

[Blueblood]

Feng, for his part, kept their eye contact unbroken and unafraid.  It was all her could do, in fact, to keep himself from leaning over and kissing her.  The rational part of his brain, which had admittedly taken a back seat for most of the evening, recovered the reins sufficiently to prevent him from going that far.  Truth be told, if the Watcher had the opportunity to choose the optimal moment to reveal his feelings... this would have been it.  But, had he not done so earlier, in a time where he could have been easily rejected, would they ever have this moment of intimacy now?

 

In this moment, then, he took up her hoof, and knelt so that she would touch between his horns, a gesture of service.  "And you will always have it... My Empress.  No matter how hard the road, or bad the weather on it.  And when you need to relieve your burdens just for a moment, my shoulders will be there to hold the weight."  He looked up again into her eyes.  "For you, I feel as if I could lift the world."

 

And then he straightened up, letting go of Yue's hoof at last.  "You know, we really should get back to that nice dear who was going to fashion you some earrings.  I think she should be done by now, right?"  He smiled, not concealing a little nervousness.  They may have to swear Lucy to secrecy after all of this...