Return of Tambelon: A rewrite (and improvement upon) the MLP Movie

[Cubbage]

Right, so I must say that although I enjoyed the movie, I was still pretty disappointed with it. There was so much potential and I felt like it was tossed away in favor of expensive actors and actresses. The biggest thing the movie had going for it was that it expanded the World of Equestria, opening up the series to bigger and better plots. But the problem was that it felt super forced. The Storm King was a terrible villain. I'm sorry, but he just was. He had no substance, no background, no real motivations, no anything really. At least with Tempest Shadow, she has a reason for working for him. She felt betrayed and he provided a way for her to get her horn back. But the Storm King (and most of his henchmen) was evil for the soul purpose of being evil. So he didn't really make sense. So I have come up with a revised plot for the movie that accomplishes the same purpose as the original, but has a much better villain and integrates the expansion the movie sought to accomplish in a much more natural way:

 

The movie opens up in pretty much the same way, with the Festival of Friendship. While Twilight and the rest of the Mane 6 are focused on preparations, unicorns across Canterlot are beginning to find their magic surging and receding randomly. Perhaps at some point, Rarity is unable to lift an object momentarily, and then at another, her horn lets off a laser. Nonetheless, the musical number progresses naturally and everything is normal.

 

Now enter the storm over Canterlot. Only this time, it's not caused by the arrival of the Storm King. It's caused by a great, black city materializing above the current Equestrian Capital. Everyone is frightened as Tempest Shadow levitates down with some troggles (in place of the Storm King's monkey minion things). We receive a little exposition here as Tempest claims to be the first lieutenant of King Grogar of Tambelon. Anyone who knows the tale of Gusty the Great (including the princesses) gasps. Tempest admires the city that was built on the original site of Tambelon, but then lashes out over the fact that the ponies have desecrated the land. She demands the relinquishment of the princess's magic immediately. When they refuse, she turns them into obsidian and the scene progresses pretty much like in the original, but with troggles instead of storm guards. The Mane Six head south to find the "Queen of the Hippos" as requested by Celestia before her demise.

 

Back in Canterlot, the ponies are in chains. Tempest returns to Tambelon (still floating above Canterlot) to report on the successful conquest of Canterlot to Grogar, who has fashioned a new bell. However, it is devoid of any magic as of yet, which is why he needs the four Alicorns princesses. If he can seize their magic, then he can regain his own original bell and become the King of Monsters once more. We get a little exposition here. Tambelon was the city from which Grogar ruled the land which became Equestria. But Gusty the Great stole his bell and used it to banish the city into the realm of shadows. To prevent it from returning, the bell was hidden away and a new city was erected. The harmony between ponies in this new city created a magical barrier that prevented Tambelon's return for aeons. But eventually, the city gained enough energy to rematerialize. But it had to due so above Canterlot because the harmony there still prevented it from coming too close. But now that the ponies are captured and consumed with fear, Tambelon descends on the mountain, finally settling where it used to be. Canterlot is crushed and the ponies are imprisoned within the caves beneath the city. 

 

Back to the Mane Six, they arrive in Klugetown on schedule. The biology of Klugetown is more defined. Instead of the weird frog things and a bunch of random creatures that serve as fillers, the city is made up primarily of troggles, as well as a cat or two. Capper's number goes just as it does in the movie and everything progresses normally. Tempest arrives with armored troggles in search of the Mane Six. The rest of this scene is virtually unchanged.

 

The Mane Six hop aboard an airship run by pirates (Calaeno and the birds, because we couldn't leave them out) who are hostile at first, however, after a rousing musical number by Rainbow Dash and the other ponies, they agree to help the ponies reclaim their homeland and take them to Mt. Aris. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash's sonic rainboom finale alerts Tempest's ship of their actual location, and she turns around to pursue them, angry at Capper for lying to her. The M6 hide below deck as a skirmish occurs above deck between the birds and the troggles, but the birds are soon overpowered. The M6 escape out the bottom as they did originally, and Tempest discovers their next destination after seeing Twilight's map. She burns Calaeno's ship as punishment for harboring the M6.

 

The Mt. Aris scene remains virtually unchanged, however, we find that the hippogriffs have been hiding under water for a lot longer than they originally had. When Tambelon was banished, Grogar's monsters fled Equestria and discovered the hippogriff kingdom, which they proceeded to invade. A fight was put up, but it soon became clear they would be no match for Grogar's horrors. Thus, they fled to the water. Going back up was considered several times, but the notion was always overturned (this makes seapony culture make a little more sense because no griff is alive that has recollection of living on land, thus things like stairs and showers wouldn't make sense to them [the series says they don't make sense to them, but to me that never made sense. The seaponies should remember living on land right? Not in this lore!]). Anyway, the rest of the scene progresses just as it does in the original movie with Twilight trying to steal the pearl and whatnot. 

 

Everything else also progresses normally with Twilight being captured, including Tempest Shadow's musical number (couldn't leave that out, of course!). However, Tempest's background has to be changed a little. She lived in Grogar's time. Her horn was slashed by an Ursa Major, just like in the original backstory. But rather than running away purposefully and finding the Storm King, she was instead found by Grogar one day after being ostracized by her friends. She stood up to him out of fear and anger, and he liked her attitude. So he took her in as one of his servants, promising to restore her horn if she proved worthy. She continued to work up the ranks while Tambelon was held in the Realm of Shadows (which is basically the void, so no aging occurs there), becoming his top lieutenant by the time the city returned. Once Grogar gets the alicorns' magic, he has promised to restore Tempest's horn once and for all.

 

Finally back in Tambelon, Twilight's spirits are further broken by seeing her home in ruins, crushed beneath the dark city. The ponies have been brought out as slaves, but are still in chains. She is taken to Grogar's throne room, where he uses his new bell to steal the alicorns' magic for himself, adding to his power. He relishes in his might.

 

On the basalt beach, the scene with the rest of the M6 and the rebellion progresses normally. They breach Tambelon's defenses as they did in the original film. The fight scene also progresses fairly similarly, but I'll reiterate it to highlight the differences: As the M5 are entering the city, Tempest and Twilight look on. Grogar is disgusted by their friendship and causes a solar eclipse, as well as a massive cyclone. Tempest reminds him of his promise, and he refuses to restore her horn until he gets his original bell back. She realizes he will never really restore her horn like he promised to. Tempest is nearly sucked into the cyclone, but Twilight saves her. Gogar is enraged, seeing that Tempest is now considering defecting, and prepares to destroy both her and Twilight. However, the rest of the M6 use a party cannon to fire themselves up and nock Grogar over. His beam of destruction misses and destroys a building instead. Twilight reconciles with her friends as the bell rolls across the floor, ringing uncontrollably. The storm becomes stronger and the sun flares, creating aurora above them. 

 

Twilight and Grogar charge for the bell at the same time and both are lost to the cyclone. It appears Twilight is gone for good, when she floats down with the bell in hoof. Grogar tries to turn her to obsidian just as the Storm King did, but instead turns himself and Tempest. After he falls and is shattered, Twilight restores Tempest, and they become friends. The movie's ending scene is unchanged, with a song by Songbird Serenade and some character growth from Tempest Shadow (Fizzlepop Berrytwist).

 

If you've read this far, then I hope you liked it and hopefully it made sense (please let me know if anything didn't and I'll elaborate! I sometimes have a hard time putting my thoughts into words :|||)! I feel like Grogar would be a much better villain for the movie and would advance the plot of the series a lot better. Plus, the Return of Tambelon would be a throwback to G1, and we know how much the G4 writers love to do that! Grogar also makes a lot more sense with established lore. It also makes some aspects of the movie fit in a lot better with the series. Plus, with my integration, the rest of the series can remain virtually unchanged. Let me know what you think! If I overlooked anything, if you think a different villain would be better, etc. I'd love to hear your opinions!

Edited August 17, 2021 by Cubbage
Edit: I forgot that Grogar was actually Discord in the final season, so I rewrote it so he does die.