jmayo Posted November 21, 2011 Report Share Posted November 21, 2011 Name: Dashing ThunderSex: MaleAge: ColtSpecies: PegasusPelt Color: NavyMane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Mane Is Brown With A Red Stripe And Tail Is Poofy And BrownEye Color: LimeCutie Mark: Lightning BoltPhysique: Regular Colt Size Sorta SkinnyOrigin: Born In EverfreeRoleplay Type: Crossover Occupation: Cloud ManagerMotivation: Hoping To Race Rainbow DashLikes:Strawberries,Races,Battling And Secretly Likes DerpyDislikes:Losing,Boring Things,CupcakesCharacter Summary:He Was Born In The Everfree Forest And Moved To Ponyville After My Parents Were Attacked By Diamond Dogs And Forced To Work I Escaped Telling My Parents I Was Going To Come Back. 17 Years Later I Have A Job At Cloudsdale Setting Up Thunder.Sometimes I Like To Race With Other Pegasus I'm Still Hoping To Get A Chance To Race With Rainbow Dash.Still Looking For My Parents And Searching For My Destiny I Live In Ponyville Hoping To Find my Parents And My Destiny.His Parents All He Knew Was That They Were Cocky And Rich Always Wanting The Best Things For Dashing Thunder Going To Big Parties Fancy Conversations And Getting Whatever he Wanted His Parents Went For a Drive In Carriage Going To The Gala Just Then The Carriage Stopped Screams And Dragging Were Heard Outside The Carriage Door Flung Open 3 Diamond Dogs They Grabbed His Parents And Left Him There Alone He Thrived By Find Hay Making A Camp And Looking For Supplies They would Probably Be Proud On How He's Doing.Dashing Got His Cutie Mark By Stopping a Out Of Control Hurricane From Getting To Ponyville Flying Around It In The Opposite Direction After That Lightning Went Through His Tail And Mane His Eyes Were Glowing White And He Went To Mach 10 And Stopped It Getting His Cutie Mark People Think It Means he's Fast But Only 3 Ponies Know He Stopped It Dash,Zecora, And Pinkie And It Means To Him That he Saved PonyvilleHe Is Willing To Take A Challenge But Even Cheat If It Means winning He Tells The Truth But Not If He Has To Save Himself He Gets Caught Rarely But When He Does He Tries Not To Do it Again He Feels Great that he Told The Truth But Not About His Evil Side He Wishes He Never Drank It In The First PlaceHe Doesn't Be Mean Unless They Be Mean back he will Never Turn his Back on You And Go Through The Whole Way He Won't Quit Until its Done he is Loyal Brave And will Help If he CanPhoto:Name:Dark StallionSex: MaleAge: ColtSpecies:PegasusPelt Color: BlackMane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Rad And Black Mane And TailCutie Mark: Never SeenPhysique: Regular Colt SizeOrigin: After Zecora Threw Away Potions They Mixed Into Eachother Curiously Dashing Thunder Licked Them Causing Him To Transform Every Midnight Into The Dark StallionRoleplay Type: Crossover Occupation: Super VillainMotivation: Conquer PonyvilleLikes: Anti-Friendship,HateDislikes: Friendship,And KindnessCharacter Summary:After Zecora Threw Away Potions They Mixed Into Eachother Curiously Dashing Thunder Licked Them Causing Him To Transform When He Is Angry Into The Dark Stallion, Causing Havoc And Evil All Over Ponyville Having One Nemesis The Mysterious Mare Do Well.Attacks:Impulse-Throwing Himself At The Enemy This Is Good For Close Ranged FightingTeleport-Good For Dodging Attacks And Sneak AttacksSeparate-Can Rip Things In Half But Consumes His Power By 75%Regenerate-Heal HimselfDark Kick-Bucks His Enemy Sending Them FlyingChaos Blast-Sends A dark Cloud Of Light Towards The EnemySteal Power-Takes The Life Force And Friendship From Ponies NearClone-Create 3 Clones To Help Him in BattlePhoto:Can Transform into Death Stallion:Attacks:Jab-Stabs A Pony With his HornsStallions Rage-Does A Combo Of Kicking Hoofing And Blasting A EnemySonic Blaze-Increases Speed And Damage For A Short period of TimeHappiness Sucker-Turns Everything around Him Gloomy By Taking Its HappinessCombustion-Sends 3 Explosions To Destroy Things In Hi PathSteal Power-Takes The Life Force And Friendship From Ponies NearGrowth-Increase Size And Strength By 10Dance Of Anger-Bucks Enemies 10 Times Then Blasting Them With Blazing DeathBlazing Death-A Huge Beam Of Anti-Friendship Gets Hurdled At The Enemy Causing Internal And Outside InjuriesThe End-A Huge Beam 10x More Deadly Then Blazing Death Causing Craters And Horrible Abominations To Appear Allover Equestria (Takes 90% Of His Power) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted November 21, 2011 Report Share Posted November 21, 2011 Not a bad start. His summary needs a bit of work though, but never fear!First off, according to canon, nopony lives in the Everfree Forest. Dashing Thunder might have been born there, but I can't see his family living there. However, perhaps you can provide a background to why Thunder's family was there? Also, you have a redundant sentence: he's looking for his parents and his destiny while living in Ponyville and hoping to find that. A better formed sentence would be "Dashing Thunder lives in Ponyville, still hoping to one day find his parents, and his destiny."In addition, how'd he get his cutie mark? As the biggest thing for a pony, it should be touched on. What does the cutie mark mean, how did he get it, etc?And finally, for the moment, Ponyville is off limits to new OCs, due to (I'll assume) overcrowding. I think Cloudsdale is still good if you want to live there.Good luck on the app ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmayo Posted November 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 21, 2011 Zecora Lives In Everfree Forgot That? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted November 21, 2011 Report Share Posted November 21, 2011 Zecora Lives In Everfree Forgot That?Zecora is a mystic zebra who was ostracized from Ponyville for being different, hence why she lives in the Everfree. Even after she was accepted, it's clear that Zecora enjoys her privacy as she still lives there. At least, that's my interpretation. Take it with a small grain of salt.As per our canon description of the Everfree, it is, and I quote, "largely empty of ponyfolk", and "largely unexplored". I'm not saying you can't have a character from the Everfree, I'm just saying that it would probably require an explanation to pass modstaff inspection: what are his parents doing there, if they lived there why not nearby Cloudsdale, Ponyville, or even further away in Manehattan? Were the too ostracized from the village? If so, why? What could be so bad as for Thunder's family to live in the Everfree, known as a dangerous place to most ponies? Did they not know? And while they were there, how did they get by? Once he escaped, how did Thunder know how to get to Ponyville?I'm not saying you have a bad character, in fact, you have the makings of a very unique, and very interesting character. Just needs a bit of work, that's all.Also, I tried to be as pleasant as possible in my criticism, and don't really appreciate the patronizing tone I got from your reply. I'm trying to lend a helping hoof here to help you on your way to RPing with a great character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmayo Posted November 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 Zecora is a mystic zebra who was ostracized from Ponyville for being different, hence why she lives in the Everfree. Even after she was accepted, it's clear that Zecora enjoys her privacy as she still lives there. At least, that's my interpretation. Take it with a small grain of salt.As per our canon description of the Everfree, it is, and I quote, "largely empty of ponyfolk", and "largely unexplored". I'm not saying you can't have a character from the Everfree, I'm just saying that it would probably require an explanation to pass modstaff inspection: what are his parents doing there, if they lived there why not nearby Cloudsdale, Ponyville, or even further away in Manehattan? Were the too ostracized from the village? If so, why? What could be so bad as for Thunder's family to live in the Everfree, known as a dangerous place to most ponies? Did they not know? And while they were there, how did they get by? Once he escaped, how did Thunder know how to get to Ponyville?I'm not saying you have a bad character, in fact, you have the makings of a very unique, and very interesting character. Just needs a bit of work, that's all.Also, I tried to be as pleasant as possible in my criticism, and don't really appreciate the patronizing tone I got from your reply. I'm trying to lend a helping hoof here to help you on your way to RPing with a great character.Sorry For The Late Reply And I Will Change Where He Lives Maybe In A House In Cloudsdale Or A Inn I'll Think About That Thx For Your Help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 Sorry For The Late Reply And I Will Change Where He Lives Maybe In A House In Cloudsdale Or A Inn I'll Think About That Thx For Your HelpYou do not need to change much at all, since this is a Crossover app, anything goes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 You do not need to change much at all, since this is a Crossover app, anything goes.Oh dear I missed the Crossover part. I feel like the biggest ass now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmayo Posted November 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2011 Oh dear I missed the Crossover part. I feel like the biggest ass now.Don't Worry Its Ok Alot Of People Would've Missed it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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