Unicorn [Unicorn] Finder [Finished]

[Chrystallix]

RoleplayType: Mane RP

Name:Finder

Sex: Male

Age: Young Stallion

Species: Unicorn

EyeColor: Burnished Gold

CoatColor: Green

Mane/Tail/MarkingsColor&Style: Finder's mane and tail are kept neatly groomed, but not in any fancy style. Really he's got enough on his plate without worrying about having a stylish mane. So for him just having it combed and clean is enough. His mane is also a simple color, a nice plain blue.

Physique: Finder isn't the biggest of ponies, he certainly has nothing on Big Macintosh, but he's hardly small. He's a bit above average, having his fair share of muscle from hauling around mountains of stuff that he's found. However, his back also tends to be a bit bowed, also from carrying around the mountains of lost junk.

CutieMark: Finder's cutie mark appears to be a treasure map drawn on yellowing parchment, complete with trail and an X.

Origin/Residence: Well, he goes from place to place, finding things. However, he was born in Manehattan.

Occupation: He is a professional finder. What that means is that he finds lost objects, lost ponies, lost ideas, and even lost mysteries. In fact, he even finds things that aren't even there. However, a lot of the junk he finds doesn't belong to anyone, so he sells that too, one can never guess what they'll find in his wagon.

Motivation: Obviously Finder's motivation is in well, finding things. There's nothing that gets him more excited than his horn lighting up as it detects the aura of some lost object. He gets a warm tingle when he returns some lost heirloom or a missing foal to a thankful pony family. Even when he's driven crazy by non-stop finding, he loves it. Why? Why, its what he was made to do, its what he's good at, his own unique special talent. It also helps that others appreciate his talent as well, ponies are always losing things, sometimes important things, and it makes him happy that he can help in his own small way.

Likes: Spicy foods, sweet foods, bitter foods, sour foods, any and all foods. Finding things, returning the thing's he's found. Chiropractors.

Dislikes: His chiropractor bills, not having food, collecting a mountain of missing things, finding objects that aren't there!

CharacterSummary: Ah, dear Finder, finder extraordinaire, in fact there probably doesn't exist the pony better than him at finding things. He was born in Manehattan, to two loving parents. His father was a construction pony, always building bigger buildings for the bustling city. His name is, Girder. The mother was a beautiful unicorn who cleaned, basically she was a maid. The two did their best to raise Finder to be a good and industrious pony. However, while his parents were dutiful and supplied him with what he needed, they believed that changes of scenery were good for the soul. So every few years they'd move somewhere else, their skills allowing them to pick up and move to virtually any location. He saw the pretty much the entire world from a young age, Canterlot, Ponyville, Stallingrad, even Appleloosa!

However, while he experienced a broad range of locations he missed out on some of the things that came with having a single, steady home to go to. Mainly, making friends, oh sure he had comrades, buddies to hang out with. Yet, he didn't have any truly close friends, no one that was as near and dear to him as his own flesh and blood. Still, it's rather hard to miss what you didn't know you were missing so he was content. Besides which the communities were always real friendly to him, after all he had a special little gift that was just so very useful. He was very good at finding things, lost objects or even missing ponies. Often he looked in places others didn't even consider, and that was usually where they were. However, he didn't realize it was his special talent until one fateful day in Canterlot...

It was the usual busy day, ponies of all kinds were out and about in the street, going to work, leaving work, going to the store, leaving the store, visiting friends, or visiting other friends. Finder was out playing in the street with his newest friends, when suddenly a commotion started up from down the street. Curious, he and his friends moved to investigate to see a mare wailing that someone had stolen her purse. However, nopony had seen where the rapscallion had galloped off to. Even the legendary (in his own mind) Finder couldn't find any leads and was about to give up. Yet his horn had other ideas. As was usually the case with unicorns his horn served as a precursor to the arrival of his cutie mark. Suddenly the troublesome thing began to glow and began to drag him through the streets of Canterlot, much to his surprise.

(Note: I'm assuming because the only cutie mark stories we've seen in the canon with unicorns both had the horn acting up beforehand.)

The horn dragged him all throughout the streets of Canterlot, with ponies looking on in surprise or amusement. At first he thought it was taking him to the thief, but the horn wasn't following any straight path. It made turns, and sometimes U-turns, it carried him on to rooftops, through fountains, backyards, restaurants, fields, carts. In fact, he was surprised he wasn't dragged through the royal court! Finally though it stopped, depositing him in front of a run down house in one of the poorer areas of Canterlot. The unicorn went inside and looked around curiously, what did he find? All kinds of things, which turned out to be stolen.So the culprit was captured thanks to his efforts, well his horn's really. More importantly that little event caused him to realize what his own unique talent was, and his cutie mark appeared! It was a momentous occasion for him, and his family was so proud. Immediately his parents began working to set him up in his own business. A professional finder! After that things went along as normal, only now he had an actual job. Eventually he came of age as a full grown stallion and departed from his parents to see the world on his own.

He has nothing but a large wagon, filled with all kinds of junk, his own four hooves and a magic spell.This spell is how he finds things, its his unique bit of unicorn magic. This spell reads, "auras" or rather the trails of auras. When an item with some memory or emotional significance attached it leaves a trail, this fades and grows "paler" with time but it usually lasts for a very long time, more so with the more memories and emotions. For that matter the aura never leaves the object, even if the trail fades away. However, this spell is kind of annoying, because sometimes he CAN'T TURN IT OFF! Its insane! He'll just be minding his own business and his horn will go off and he has no choice but to follow the trail. Really there's nothing to force him to, but he refuses to leave something unfound. As a result he frequently has to carry things on his back, resulting in a frequent need for chiropractors, and quite a few bills in that direction.

Now when he comes to a new town, or old considering he's been most everywhere, his routine is simple. He enters the town, finds an open space to set up shop, and opens his business. The wagon has a window/counter that opens up on the side, and above it is a sign, "Finder the Finder!" He even has a little spiel, that varies every now and then describing what he does and inviting them to take a look at the various treasures he's found in his journeys. Sometimes he'll set up some of the wares in front of the wagon on a large blanket, however he usually only does this when there's no longer enough room in his wagon for all the things he's found.

Don't get him wrong, he doesn't just do business, he usually runs the "shop" as in selling the things he's found, for a few hours each day. The rest of the time he'll be exploring the town, meeting the ponyfolk, seeing whats changed since he was last there. If ponies want him to find something they just have to find him and ask, that simple.

Naturally he also has the basic telekinesis that most unicorns demonstrate, although he can't lift anything more than a bowling ball or two...don't ask.

Now, there is one last thing that needs to be discussed. How he acts in general, included in this is a peculiar method of self-defense. He's a friendly pony always quick to smile and help someone find something, his prices are surprisingly cheap, two bits for an object, one bit for a pony or other living creature. He's the kind of pony that recognizes that some things are more important and services regarding them should be more readily available. Thus finding somepony is cheaper than finding an object. Objects can be replaced, ponies...not so much. Finder has an...interesting way of defending himself. Since he often goes out to the middle of nowhere looking for things he's bound to encounter all manner of scary things. Hydras, Manticores, Gorgons, and Harpies oh my! He deals with them all in one way, something that generally causes others to view him as...well a little crazy.

Basically what he does to defend himself can best be described as going completely berserk. It starts gradually, he'll say whatever obstacle is going on, again and again, each time more incredulous or angrier. Eventually he starts twitching, these twitches spiral out until his entire body is shaking as if there's an earthquake. Eventually he seems to lose the ability to even speak coherently, spouting random, nonsensical gibberish at the top of his lungs. This is an indicator that this dog and pony show has nearly reached its end and shortly after he starts speaking gibberish he'll rear back and charge forward, screaming bloody murder and with his eyes rolled back in his head.

Now, while intimidating and undoubtedly insane, this tactic isn't very effective on large creatures like Hydras or Dragons. However, it is good for taking care of the smaller threats, that is if he could do it on demand. Sometimes it just doesn't work, really it ONLY works, when he's on the trail. If he has a trail and something gets in his way, he is very likely to go, berserk. Now, he's not actually violent, he just looks really, really scary and violent.!

[Snowshoe]

Just to work on the syntax of this, the end of the profile is a massive wall of text, lol. It would make it easier for critics/modstaff to read if it was given some paragraph breaks ^^

[Chrystallix]

*Facehoof* I have no idea what happened there, I could swear the thing was properly spaced when I posted it, but obviously not! Well whatever the case, its fixed now.

[Loopy Legend]

Nice profile mate, nice idea as well for your character. I could make you a few recommendations however, that will help out a bit.

1) Try running your profile via a word doc, make it easy to spell grammer check your work, plus you can make sure all your sizes and fonts the same.

2) Your cutie mark is so similar to mine, I love it.

3) I get how mad your character is about finding things, you say so many time how much you like finding things. But you really never say why you like finding things.

4) For the section of your profile where you give us a story sample, you might want to consider using the correct kind of writing format for writing stories. In which you always make a new paragraph everytime some character speaks, try checking out some of the Rp's around the board, and you will pick up how this works.

5) Might help to understand how Finder works in an Rp if you explain how he runs his little business.

[Chrystallix]

I'd like to thank you for your input Loopy Legend, and rest assured I have addressed every problem you presented.

1) Thanks for the tip, it was quite helpful.

2) Thanks! It was the most suitable thing for him, all the others I came up with hinted at investigations rather than finding.

3) Hmm, I thought I had, but I elaborated a bit more in the motivation section just to be safe.

4) Well, technically that was correct as Finder was the only one speaking throughout that. Still there was one line that could technically be separated, so what the hey?

5) Good idea, added that little section right into there.

[BlindJester]

Okay, so I'm going to start from the top.

For the Roleplay type it's either Crossovers or Mane RP/World of Equestria RP

His name seems a bit odd for a pony, it would be fine as a well earned nickname, but he needs a real name if you know what I mean.

His age needs to be fixed instead of it saying 18-49ish(?) just change it to stallion. Is he a Young Stallion, a regular stallion or a Older Stallion and if you still feel the need to add the number you can put it in parenthesis.

Child should be foal.

People should be ponies

Manely should be Mainly

Also the RP example isn't necessary

Other than that this is a pretty darn good app!

[Chrystallix]

Haha! Nitpicking is such fun! I completely missed that child thing, even after you mentioned it, but I figured it out eventually. I removed the RP example and just described what he does in a less flavorful way.

Furthermore I've fixed my terrible lapses in brony vocabulary. As for the age thing, well it says to put in the brackets and I wasn't sure if that was saying put in the name for his age group, the age variances or what. As for his name, I really can't think of anything better. I really thought it suited him when I made the profile. The only real problem I see is that its two syllables instead of the normal three (Fluttershy, Rarity, Octavia, etc.)

[BlindJester]

The number of syllables isn't a problem at all! I just find it hard to believe that somepony would name their foal Finder you know? I'll ask the other staffers what they think and I'll be back to you asap

Sorry I do nitpick sometimes although the words wasn't enough to keep this app from being approved I just thought it would be nice to point it out to you.

EDIT: Had a chat with the others and the name is good to go.

[Skye]

I -like- this guy. The whole 'Finder being dragged to his destiny' thing is hilarious. Sure, it happened to Rarity but I bet it happens often enough to other unicorns too.