SilverSwirl Posted February 21, 2012 Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 (edited) Edit: Since I cannot think of anything else to put in the summary and will submit an image request in the Request Area this app is done.Name: Sunrise WispSex: FemaleAge: MareSpecies: PegasusPelt Color: #108070Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: #7D9EC0Eye Color: BrownCutie Mark: A dental mirror (She got it when she discovered she had a talent for repairing teeth)Physique: Short, and stockyOrigin: She was born deep in the southern regions of EquestriaRoleplay Type: ManeOccupation: A dentistMotivation: Keeping ponies teeth in good repair, and loving her son, SilverboltLikes:Dislikes:Character Summary: Born in the southern reaches of Equestria. Her mother was a nurse pegasus and her father was a pegasus who acquired and sold valuable rocks and gems. She was a good filly, full of energy and quite kind towards others. She can be a bit of a pushover, but can hold her ground on issues she sees as important to her and in the best interests of her family. She stayed out of trouble and kept up with her studies. As she grew older, she discovered her talent when on a field trip, she accidentally knocked out a classmates tooth. As punishment her teacher made her shadow a dentist and work in his office for a week to pay for the surgery. She had to clean the instruments and make sure they were ready for use on patients. It dawned on her that this is what she wanted to do as she saw ponies walk in holding ice packs to their mouths and leave smiling with perfectly clean teeth. Her mark appeared at that exact moment and she dedicated herself to studying about dentistry earning her certificate and license to practice dentistry by the time she was a fully grown mare. She married a young pegasus stallion, named Dawn Thunder, in the reserve unit of the Air Defense Force and moved to the Heartland of Equestria. Soon after, Silverbolt was born and she found it difficult to maintain her dental practice and care for a young colt at once so she had to retire from her practice. She worked several less demanding jobs to pay the bills while raising her young son. She broke away from her husband because he was not caring about his family anymore and had to live with her mother again for a time while she earned enough bits to rent a small house that was right next door to her mother. She fell in love with an earth pony named Iron Hammer, who wore corrective lenses and was handy with home repairs, who also taught Silverbolt the meaning of hard work and responsibility. When Silverbolt became old enough to take care of himself at home, she decided to reopen another practice in Ponyville while remaining close to her parents. Although they don't see each other often, she still loves her son Silverbolt. Edited February 23, 2012 by SilverSwirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Rose Posted February 21, 2012 Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 That's a lot of history contained within a very short paragraph! Suggests all sorts of stories in her life. I am curious about a *lot* of stuff about the character, but mostly I'd ask about the cutie mark story - how did a young foal discover she had a talent for fixing teeth? Foals don't usually get a chance to fix teeth very often... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSwirl Posted February 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 I'll revise that hole soon, but I got some IRL stuff to take care of. Short story, she and her class went on a field trip and she accidentally knocked out a classmates tooth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSwirl Posted February 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 Sorry for double post but this puppy is done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Rose Posted February 22, 2012 Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 I like that modification a lot! It's got a great feel to it - a turning point in a young foal's life, where they see something they hadn't noticed before - *and* reailze how much work goes into the things they take for granted around them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSwirl Posted February 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Thanks, Bramble! This application is ready to be looked at by the helpstaff for assessment and approval. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 All the basics are there, however it should be divided into logical paragraphs instead of a single wall of text."She married a young pegasus stallion in the reserve unit of the Air Defense Force and moved to the Heartland of Equestria."-- Should start a new paragraph."She broke away from her husband because he was not caring about his family anymore and had to live with her mother again for a time while she earned enough bits to rent a small house that was right next door to her mother."-- Should start a new paragraph.This will make the summary easier to read. Also may consider the names of her current husband/coltfriend and the ex who si the father of her colt, in case someone asks in RP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSwirl Posted February 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Done! Thank you Brian! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 I feel this application has a good solid base but is still rather thin. I think where it is still lacking is about her personality. We know she is a caring mother, but we don't know anything else about her other than that and her job. What kind of personality does she have? Is she hot-headed but good natured and smiles a lot? Grumpy? Sweet? What does she enjoy doing outside of her job? What sort of other hobbies and passions does she have? It would help go far in establishing what kind of character she is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilverSwirl Posted February 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Filled out her personality more. Thank you for the feedback Brian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted February 23, 2012 Report Share Posted February 23, 2012 Alrighty, looks good.For Great Justice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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