Dio Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Hi, I'd like to suggest a few tweaks. It seems his ability to appraise things for their true value is really his special talent. I'd make note of that for his cutie mark.I'd also like some more on his personality. Tactful and aloof are merely two traits among many possible traits. Does he have any unusual quirks, any ticks or tells that he might have while conning that could serve as RP hooks? Does he have soft spots or things that he cares for particularly? "Luxury items" is a full spectrum of things and some specifics would really help flesh out the character some more!Also, what is he like in and out of character? I think playing up the dichotomy between his conpony personas and his "true self" could make for some interesting stories.Finally, please clean up your spelling and grammar. While these will not prevent application approval, it will make it much easier to read Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted April 17, 2012 Report Share Posted April 17, 2012 there i edit it some more hope it helps :V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dio Posted April 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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