(Canterlot) Mending Hearts (Ended)

[Lux]

Heart Healer took mental notes about what the pony said about her parents. The fact that they were gone often meant that Telki was alone often save for possibly her brothers. This meant that there could be some underlying feelings of lonlieness and need for love. Still, the pink unicorn wasn't willing to assume this as the main concern just yet.

[colour=#800080]"Thank you for telling me about your parents. How were your brothers towards you?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]Well they were nice, but they were much older than me so...[/colour]" Telki let her voice trail

"[colour=#FF8C00]They tried their best, but I was a filly and they had their own "big stallion" things to do[/colour]"

[Lux]

[colour=#800080]"Ok," [/colour]Heart said noting her relationship with her older brothers. It was a common thing that older siblings while still loving toward the younger brother or sister were often hesitant to do much with them as it wasn't the cool thing to do. With the parents' situation and the involvement of the brothers taken care of, Heart moved to another crucial part or a pony's life.

[colour=#800080]"Back to your time in school. I know you spoke to me about your classmates in general, but what about your friends? Did you have any that you were close to? If so, what were they like?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]Well beyond Uncle Jazz Brass, I didn't have much friends growing up really. Like I said earlier I was usually the smallest in my class so its not like anypony would invite me to go run in the fields outside Manehattan with them. I was also always better in my studies than PE so maybe they thought I was some egghead, I don't know[/colour]"

Telki sighed, school was relatively uneventful for her. She had did well in her studies, but she ended up relatively friendless, not really having the chance to build any meaningful friendships nor since after her cutie mark incident, not really daring to.

[Lux]

Heart Healer was sensing a trend of the lack of attention in her life. Sure her parents and siblings loved her, but she spent most of her time alone. She knew about the past, but Heart was now wondering about the present.

[colour=#800080]"So I understand how you had difficulty to make friends in school. What about now? Do you have friends now?" [/colour]

[lordbrony]

[colour=#FF8C00]"Well, I'm travelling through Equestria by myself so its not like I have any friends with me now."[/colour]

It was slowly beginning to dawn on Telki that she had really been alone most of the time, well at least she turned out ok, she hoped. Perhaps that would be a problem in the future, but for now at least it is something that she couldn't help seeing as that she had no permermant travelling companions. Not that that would be a really good idea though, since she tended to prefer going to places on a whim and having to account for a companion would put a huge gimp on her freedom.

[colour=#FF8C00]"I still write to my parents and brothers now and then, when I can afford it. I've gotten to know quite a few ponies and other creatures throughout my travels, but I don't think they count as friends soo yeah."[/colour]

[Lux]

The fact that Telki liked to travel complicated things regarding the establishment of friendship. Heart Healer could feel the lonlieness within the pony but also felt the futility of making friends while traveling so much. That was something that needed to be addressed as it could be a possible relation to her problem.

[colour=#800080]"You said that you travel much. Is there a reason why you journey or that you do not have a permenent home?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]Well when I graduated from school I really did not know what to do with my life[/colour]." Telki replied matter of factly "[colour=#FF8C00]I wasn't really keen to be a lecturer like my parents and I didn't want to take over the family business[/colour]"

"[colour=#FF8C00]So far I'm traveling, trying out different jobs, trying to apply myself, seeing he world[/colour]." she continued, and at the mention of 'apply' made her eyes and horn glow slightly

[Lux]

Heart Healer thought about what Telki said about trying to find her purpose. Most ponies upon getting their cutie marks knew instantly what they would be doing for the rest of their lives. Some however had more of a difficulty applying it.

[colour=#800080]"I see. So you're trying to find something that best fits your ability." [/colour]

A strange thing happened when Telki spoke, something not lost on the counselor. When Telki mentioned applying herself, her horn and eyes briefly lit up as if she wanted to perform some kind of magic.

[colour=#800080]"May I ask wwhat your cutie mark means? It is a rather unique one."[/colour]

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]Well I'll show you[/colour]" Telki replied, relieved that at least she could finally do something

"She turned her eyes towards one particular stack of papers and took a deep breath, then a small thin beam of light shone from her horn and enveloped the stack, and in the blink of an eye, more and more beams shot out, each "grabbing" onto a single sheet of paper, then forming a floating noticeboard-esque wall of pages just to her right.

She paused for a second and turned towards the "wall"; the many beams of light that formally held each page has reunited into one that was seemingly suspending the entire wall, then before Heart Healer could say anything, more beams shot out, each pulling the pages off the wall in a seemingly random pattern, leaving gaps. The papers coming to rest face down back on Heart Healer's desk. Once the wall was no more, as a final act, she flipped the stack around.

"[colour=#FF8C00]There, perfectly sorted[/colour]" she flashed her trademark smile. "[colour=#FF8C00]Don't worry I didn't read anything beyond the page numbers. And yes that what my cutie mark means, I think..[/colour]"

[Lux]

Heart Healer was expecting the unicorn seated to just explain what her cutie mark meant. But surprisingly the pony activated her magic and began to lift and sort several papers on her desk before returning them to a pile. For a moment the counserlor couldn't help but be amazed at the raw talent combined with such finece.

[colour=#800080]"I must say you have a wonderful talent that combines great organization and an attention to details. I believe that you can pratically use your talent for any job you decide to do. Is there something in particular you see yourself doing during your life?" [/colour]

[FlameddragoAG]

(OOC: Alright, let's see how this goes... Hopefully I'm doing this right.)

...Ugh, alright. Let's get this over with...

Static Arc had departed the train and onto the platform. He was in Canterlot, on a mission he didn't want to take in the first place. It had all started with Static's childhood. He had always been a quiet colt who never really had any friends. He always kept to himself at his house and never wanted to go outside. He had thought back that then, friends were only distractions in his life, and drove him away from what he really wanted. Static now had dismissed the thought when he grew up, of course, as he had tried time and time again to try making friends. Sometimes he would run away and tell himself that he would try again tommorrow, and sometimes his advances just didn't work out.

His parents had become increasingly worried about his behaviour, and Static was curious as to why he acted like that. Nothing in his life had ever really drove him to start thinking like that, nothing that really stood out to him.

A few days ago, after work, Static had gotten a visit from his parents, and asked him about his life, if he had any friends or any hobbies, or if he had a special somepony yet. To all of these questions, Static had told them that even though he tried, something prevented Static from going further, to pursue a friendship. He had told them that he sometimes twisted his thoughts, perceiving everything as negative, and ultimently abandoning to notion to befriend somepony.

Static's parents were afraid of this, so they told him about a unicorn up in Canterlot, one that could read the thoughts and emotions of other ponies and solve their problems, sort of like a therapist or psychologist. They had booked an appointment with her in a couple of days, and wanted him to go. Static really didn't feel comfortable with the situation at the moment, not sure if anypony could really do that and help him. On the other hoof, he was really curious, and desperately wanted somepony to be friends with, something to do so he wasn't home all the time, or wandering Ponyville aimlessly for the rest of his life.

Static Arc then agreed with his parents, telling them that he would try to get some help from the unicorn. A few days later, he kept his word and was now walking through the streets of Canterlot through many rich, high class ponies to his destination. Static couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Could this mare really help him discover what was holding him back from making friends, or why he always perceived everything to be negative? Static wasn't sure, but he had nopony else to turn to. He wanted to change, and hopefully this mare had the answers he was looking for.

He entered the building he was directed to go to at this time. It was like he was at any normal clinic, and it reminded him when he went to the doctor's as a colt. There was a counter with what looked like the receptionist, and a few seats in the waiting area. It took a little self-encouragment to get himself to talk to the receptionist, but he eventually told him/her that he was here to see somepony named 'Heart Healer'. The receptionist told him that she was with another pony, and to wait in one of the chairs for her. Static thanked her, and propped himself onto the left-most chair, waiting patiently for this Heart Healer to take him in. Hopefully she was done soon, as he was bursting with curiousity, wondering as to how this mare could possibly help him.

Well, I'll find out soon enough.

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]I don't know really[/colour]" Telki replied, her voice laced with uncertainty, yet still trying to sound upbeat. "[colour=#FF8C00]So far in my travels most of my jobs have been temporary manual labour. Well...not so manual since I don't actually need physical strength, just this.[/colour]" She rolled her eyes upward at the mention of "this" "[colour=#FF8C00]Mainly farming and construction so far but a few here and there whenever I can apply my magic[/colour]"

Almost absentmindedly, she rambled on. "[colour=#FF8C00]I don't know...somedays I just worry that if I wake up and my magic is gone. I wouldn't know what to do with myself...or what to do[/colour]" The realization hit her that that beyond her magic, she didn't really have any marketable skills since she didn't study any trades nor was she keen in the family business

[Lux]

The pink mare listened about how the pony just was wandering from one place to the next. She began to wonder how this pony ever found her cutie mark and getting one's mark often meant finding one's job. In her case she found her talent but could not put it to a particular job.

Heart Healer could also feel the fear being cast off the pony like smoke. It was a common fear that unicorns had, losing their magic.

[colour=#800080]"Ok, now I don't think that you'll lose you magic, but what other skills do you have that's beyond magic. Also, if you could see yourself in any job, what would that be?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]I really don't know[/colour]" Telki replied matter of factly. "[colour=#FF8C00]I probably could take over the family business, but it'll be boring. Maybe that's why I'm traveling,..to find myself"[/colour]

[colour=#FF8C00]"I am getting good at using my magic, but it seems that that's all the marketable skills I have" [/colour] The thought of finding a trade that was palatable to her had crossed her mind, multiple times in fact, except that she just could not seem to decide on one that she felt was suitable

[Lux]

[colour=#800080]"Well it sounds like that not only you have great mastery over your telekinesis, but you also are good at organizing things and analyzing data. These are really good skills that can be used for practically any job. Are you thinking something clerical that you'd like to do or something more hooves on?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]I did give Daddy's bookstore a try; but the paperwork got boring quickly. Shelving was slightly better since it was quite easy for me, but even that got boring after a fortnight or so. "[/colour]

[colour=#FF8C00]"Maybe that's why I'm traveling, I just can't see myself in one place forever and ever...... [/colour]"

"[colour=#FF8C00]About telekinesis...I don't know a lot of ponies I met usually say how lucky I am to have it. Not that I disagree with them but sometimes it seems that it is just dang-[/colour]" Telki stopped herself abruptly, realizing that her last sentence had just opened a HUGEEE can of worms.

[Lux]

Heart Hearler could feel the restless within Telki as she explained how nothing seemed to fit her idea of a job. What intrested her the most was what the uncorn said or rather didn't say about her magic, stopping short of saying something butn saying enough for Heart to understand.

[colour=#800080]"Well for your job you would need to find one to stick with it. If you desire to visit different places, perfaps helping a pony like a historiand or an ambassador would help with that. But you mentioned something about your magic. Are you afraid your telekinesis is dangerous to others?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

She knew this would come sooner than later.

Telki heaved a sigh and collected her thoughts. Her mind wandered a bit, remembering a time when she was so fearful, so scared that the thought of her harming somepony haunted her thoughts like only the most persistent poltergeist can; till it was the first thought that greeted her in the morning and the last thought that tucked her in bed at night. Till.....

She shook her head to clear the random thoughts filling her mind. Surely from the practice she had the was pretty confident that she won't harm any pony accidently. What she found hard to say, was that she had used her magic on other ponies on purpose. It started with her handily subduing the ponies attempting to rob her fathers store, then a slow slide down the slippery slope and she found herself restraining ponies often against their will sometimes proactively striking out using the fear of her safety as a handy reason and sometimes for the most trivial, and frivolous of reasons.

Finally gathering the courage to speak out she spoke slowly and hesitantly, as if fearful that she might say something incriminating or that she'll regret forever.

"[colour=#FF8C00]Well" she tried to keep her voice as neutral as possible. "I have used my magic on other ponies before" But I've always had a good reason and I've always tried not to hurt them....[/colour]."

The desk between her and Heart Healer suddenly became very very big and Telki felt very very small, just like that time she said something sharp that made another filly cry and she got sent to the principal's office.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, dreading what Heart Healer would think of her now

[Lux]

Heart Healer could see and feel that the pony was nervous. It was like she was fighting with herself. The pink mare knew that part of the unicorn wanted to tell her, but there was tho other part that wanted to keep the secret. However as a counselor, Heart knew the dangers of keeping things bottled up inside. Eventually all those thoughts and emotions would have to be let out.

[colour=#800080]"I can see you don't want to tell me much about it, but in my experience when a pony tells me what happened they will feel much better. Keeping your thoughts and emotions bottled up inside will put a strain on your mind and body. Now I don't think that you are a pony that likes to intentionally hurt another with magic, and accidents do happen. So please, will you tell me what happened?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

[colour=#000000]“[/colour][colour=#FF8C00]Well it wasn’t an accident you see[/colour][colour=#000000]” Telki continued to keep her tone neutral.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]“[/colour][colour=#FF8C00]There was this time my Daddy’s store was being robbed and I tossed the robbers in a corner and kept them there; then there was this time where I thought somepony was going to attack me and I immobilized her from neck down; and there was this time I shut a pony up for a prank...[/colour][colour=#000000]” Telki sped through the list, perhaps misguidedly believing that if she said it quickly the gravity of her misdeeds would seem lighter..[/colour]

[colour=#000000]“[/colour][colour=#FF8C00]I don’t really regret doing any of it..well not really...[/colour][colour=#000000]”[/colour]

[colour=#000000]The emotions Telki felt began to bubble up much like the way an almost full pot bubbles over and she tried to keep a lid on it, thought Telki knew the momentary change in demeanor should have not escaped Heart Healer.[/colour]

[colour=#000000]Trying not to choke, she continued “[/colour][colour=#FF8C00]but I think its wrong for me not to. I mean I did those things easily without a second thought and I didn’t regret it after either. Is there something wrong with me?[/colour][colour=#000000]”[/colour]

[Lux]

Heart Healer could hear and feel that Telki was conflicted. Part of her felt justified in what she did, defending her father's livelihood and her honor. Yet there was part of her that questioned whether she should regret her actions.

[colour=#800080]"Well, while you shouldn't make it a habit to use your magic like that towards others, you shouldn't fault yourself for doing something in the past. You also should not let your past experiences dictate how you use your magic in the future."[/colour]

[lordbrony]

"[colour=#FF8C00]Well I'm just a small pony on her own and I don't really know if a pony is friend or foe..[/colour]" the words tumbled out, only for her to retrospectively realize how that sounded like a really really flimsy excuse."

"[colour=#FF8C00]I'm scared.... I'm scared that I might hurt somepony[/colour]". The tears has begun to flow in a trickle, and she squeezed her eyes to stem the flow.

"[colour=#FF8C00]It hasn't happened yet...but one day I might.....I might accidentally harm somepony. I still think I'm lucky I didn't hurt the robbers, all I remember was the anger..but somepony may not be so lucky......one day[/colour]"

[Lux]

(Sorry about the delay)

Heart Healer at last heard Telki get to the root of her problem. It wasn;'t that she was incapible of doing a job or that she had doubts of effictively using her magic. It was she was afraid she would hurt another pony with it. This was common for unicorns to sometimes be scared of their own magic, especially if it was volitle or unpredictable.

[colour=#800080]"Well, I am here to assure you that your ability is fine. With magic, just like any other tool or gift, it can be used for good or bad. Now I am happy that you are conscious about your magic and making sure that you are safe with it, but your struggle is becomming paranoid. There is a principle in the world of psychology called the self fufilling prophecy. It basically states that you are what you think you are. So, if you think you're going to hurt somepony with your magic, no matter how much time and energy goes into to preventing that from happening, you will inevitably hurt a pony because you tricked your mind into thinking that you eill do that anyway. But if you relax and think that you will not hurt anypony with your magic then you will be less likely to. And realize that also accidents do happen, but if you adopt a positive attitude, then you will be better at using your magic. Do you understand what I'ms saying to you?"[/colour]

[lordbrony]

(no worries, been busy with my stuff and this enforced break helps)

Hearing Heart Healer's words seemed to be like a shining light in the fog that was bogging Telki down; she remembered how when her magic first manifested she shut herself in her room with psychology books smuggled from her daddy's bookstore and tried to make sense of it all; somehow today, hearing those familiar words again seemed to comfort her.

Recomposing herself she turned to face Heart Healer and tried to muster her confidence before continuing.

"[colour=#FF8C00]I do try not to think about it, I always like to think of myself as cheerful and i don't really obsess about it. But it is still something that I always think of at the back of my mind sometimes[/colour]"

"[colour=#FF8C00]I don't know, maybe I'm just scared something bad might happen. I've never lost control before so maybe that's one thing I can look forward to[/colour]"

The world was beginning to look bright again