Kudalyn

DJ, you don't have to rewrite the whole thing. Just add and edit a few parts. I really like the suggestions on how instead of just buying a casino, he went along saving his winnings until he got old enough to own his own Casino. Also gives you more room to fit in a few other adventures or experinces between getting his cutie mark, and opening the casino. Once you do that I'll read over it again. Looking forward to it

Hey guys... got some news. If you follow my Tumblr, and lessly my DA, you probably know of the monetary issues I've been going through. All of this has lead to me being very inactive in my Rp's here in Canterlot. I have still been around to help out with apps and draw for the site and stuff, but mostly I've been silent. This has lead me to announce finally: I'm hereby putting ALL RPS THAT MY OC'S ARE IN ON INDETERMINATE HIATUS. Like, I won't be posting even as Aqua until I have things in my life under better control. This also means I've decided to relinquish my ownership of roleplaying as Rarity. As much as I adore playing as that beautiful pony, she needs much more love than I have been giving her. This won't mean I won't be around and about the site. You'll still see me about with the Monthly Drawfriends, and helping out a bit with the gallery and the RP apps. A great way to see what I've been up to is to follow my tumblr (kudalyn.tumblr.com) cause lately it seems like all I've been doing is hanging out there XD Also, you can get ahold of me is to email me (kuda,kitsune@Hotmail.com) but please, keep that in moderation. I don't want my email to get crammed with 'hi' and 'how are you?' emails. I won't give out my skype for this very reason, but if you're in a -certian- pony group on there (you know who you guys are) then you'll see me often on there. I don't go on the IRC much anymore just cause... I don't. That's all. I'll try to update my art thread a bit more, but generally I just post my art to my gallery here on the forums. I love comments btw So, I hope that eventually I'll get things level again, where I can get back to rp'ing with the ponies and bronies I love. Kuda out PS: to those that wish to RP as Rarity and make apps? Beware. I will be very strict on who I help choose as Rarity. Only the best, most elegant and spot-on-personality app will get her! Please be true to her element and character. Thank you.

This is quite the interesting character! I just went over your app and fixed a few things for you, hope you don't mind! Fixed a few run-on sentences, fixed a few spelling mistakes and repeats. Those are in orange - feel free to copy this and put it in your original post. Fix that up, and I'll stamp it for you asap

~Rarity~ A elegant white-coated pony trotted daintly down the carpet, the magnificent tropical-flowered hat upon her head catching the eye of those she passed. She smirked, knowing that this night, was her night. She had been planning for this event for months now, tossing out design after design until she found -just- the proper ones for the theme tonight! This was going to be a night to remember! Rarity glanced around, her eyes taking in the dance floor, the tiki bar, the wide open beach off in the distance. The dance floor simply wouldn't do, it wouldn't do her any good getting all sweaty right at the big premiere! The open beach was beautiful, but rather barren of big-name ponies to chat up about her latest designs.... so she decided on the bar. "A light refresher won't hurt anything!"She said to herself, slowly walking in the direction of the bar.

This is looking much better! I like how you elaborated on her character, and added in her cutie mark's history.

Very good! I'm very impressed with this app. While I was wary about how your hippocamp can use more magic than the average one, you clearly outlined that this guy is special, and he got tutoring from a true magic user, so it's believable. It's interesting that he created his own machine - Hippocamps aren't known for their machinery skills, but maybe he picked up a bit on his travels through Equestria. Also - cute little pet! Just a little note: The age shouldn't be a number. If you want to describe him, mix the age and the gender together. For his instance, he'd be a 'Stallion'. Anything younger than that would be a 'colt'.

You've got a section repeating here Anyways, seems like a good start..... I like the treasure hunter aspect. Very nice. I'm not really big on the -loves fire- part, but since Hippocamps do love shiny things it's alright. Just don't make it go overboard with her personality, like she becomes an arsonist or something XD Being a bit envious of the land ponies is alright too, but don't forget, not everything corrodes underwater. Okeanos is made of stone and marble. Those don't corrode very quickly, specially if they are maintained properly. Also, please elaborate on her personality. Is she outgoing? Is she shy? Is she rash, or careful? How did she become the way she is? And for her history, you kind of left things open. Will she continue to become a treasure hunter, or will she just give up her dreams and live on the farm? I assume it's a fish farm. Don't forget - while hippocamps can farm fish, they don't eat them.