" 'Hello my man!' I say to the man behind the counter.He's like 'Oh,Simon!You've returned!Oh,What cheese can I help you with today?'I'm like, 'Oh,let me think,oh...' I'm browsing this amazing selection of cheese that's on offer" "My mouth is watering." "And I say, 'Can I have a mature Irish Cheddar please.'And he's like, 'Oh,excellent choice Simon,Oh Excellent.'And he cuts off a bit of it and I'm like 'No No,can I have a little bit more than that please.'He's like 'Oh,certainly Simon' And he cuts another bit off and I say 'No No,Can I have a little bit more.'He's like 'Oh Certainly,and he..he gets a cheese wire and he cuts a little bit more.Then I say 'Acutally,just..FORGET IT.If you can't do it right,BUCK OFF.' " "HaHaHaHaHa"