Tempest Rime

"You... don't like upbeat music?" Pinkie said the words in disbelief, as if he'd he's just said he disliked breathing. "But... but what do you play at parties then?" She couldn't imagine listening to music even this mellow at a party, let alone music that made it look upbeat. "Anyway, blueberries. Blueberries go well in pancakes, I could make some of-" She broke off abruptly and glanced at the box with the cupcakes. "Um, on second thought, lets stay away from any kind of cakes, at least until I get rid of the cupcakes. I don't have anything else to store them in if they go dragony again. Lets just start with testing the blueberries on their own, in case they catch fire or something." She trotted over to the fridge and rummaged for a moment before returning with a small carton of blueberries. She took a single berry and dropped a single drop of rainbow onto it. Almost instantly, the thing began to swell up, until it was larger than even the apples from Applejack's farm. Pinkie poked it experimentally with a knife, but nothing horrid seeped from the cut. "Well," she said, "it looks safe. You want to do the honors?" She offered him the blueberry.

Mal groaned at the student's cheery disposition. "Uuugh, what is it with you University students, always wanting to be 'friends' or whatever. You should go look for... Scale Model, I think his name was. He's from the U, too. Helpful little whimp, I'm sure he'd be friends with you." Aside, she muttered, "And maybe that'd keep the both of you busy away from me." "Sounds good to me," said Mal blithely to the librarian's assessments. She paused for a moment, considering the implications of a private storage area for the book. "Um... I don't really need them stored privately though." She frowned. "I mean, it's got information you can't get easily elsewhere. They might have it in, like, the royal libraries, but those aren't open to just anypony. I don't wanna restrict anypony's access to knowledge that really should be freely available." She fidgeted a little. "N-not like I'm trying to be charitable or nothin', I just don't like it when knowledge is hidden away like that." She sounded slightly sullen at the thought that her donation could possibly be considered benevolent. "Well... whatever, I'll let you figure it out, it's your library." Her business concluded, Mal was in no need to avail herself of the other books in the library today. "I'm out." With that, she gave a flustered harrumph, turned about and walked out as fast as she could without breaking into a trot. (Exit)

Pro: Super strength, super speed, regeneration, and all kinds of shapeshifting. Con: You die to sunlight, fire, decapitation, silver, wolfsbane, and headshots, are repulsed by garlic, crosses, and sticky rice, and can't cross running water, an unbroken line of salt, or a house's threshold without an invitation, plus you need to drink blood AND eat brains to live, you go crazy every full moon, and your flesh is always rotting. The ability to turn anything you touch into lead.

"Yeah," scoffed Mal sarcastically as she rolled her eyes. "Better run along, wouldn't want to miss one moment of your brainwashi-I mean, 'learning experience.' But seriously, don't let 'em fill your head with too many fairy tales about 'friendship' or 'honor' or 'compassion.' Even your friend the Luna fan isn't looking in the right place. You do what you want, and don't take..." She paused and glanced at the librarian, censoring herself for his sake. "Er... don't let anypony keep you down." Mal shook her head. "Ugh, why am I even wasting my time, you aren't gonna listen to me." She sighed and looked at the stack of books again. "So, do you need anything else from me? I just don't want to deal with the books sitting around my place, I'd still like to be able to check 'em out if my research demands. You won't go selling 'em off or anything, will you? A few of those I went to a lot of trouble to get ahold of." "Ugh, listen to me, I'm all attached to them or something, this is why I need to get rid of those books. Material possessions, they're the shackles of modern society. It's insidious." She rambled nervously as she waited for the librarian to give her the OK to leave. Small scale social interactions like this were not her strong point, and she never really knew who might be an informant for the guards, ready to turn her in for her radical opinions. She decided she may be saying too much and bit her tongue, falling silent for a while.

Bea blinked quizzically. "Oh, no no no, you misunderstand. My father is not missing. Well, I mean, 'e is, but not to me. I know where 'e is. I am looking for the rest of my family, so I can meet them." She paused, then to clarify she added "They are four-legs. Like you. Well, I mean, not like you, they are 'onest ponies. Well, mostly, from what I 'ear. My uncle Brazil is an adventurer, so that's not the most 'onest profession, but it is quite exciting, yes?" A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Oh, but I 'ave been rude. I 'ave not yet properly introduced myself. My name is Beachnut. You know, you are the first four-legs I 'ave met other than my father. You must excuse me if I say anything a little funny, I am not used to speaking like this." She stuck out a hook to shake, as she'd heard was the custom when meeting new ponies, but she accidentally offered the wrong hoof.

Mal rolled her eyes at the librarian's request, but didn't comment. She didn't feel like getting kicked out of the library when there was always the chance that she'd need to reference one of the books here. "If anger was all it took to go nightmare-mode, I'd have mastered that years ago. But even so, there has to be forgotten lore and secret rites in her library. She's the princess of the night! It's all part of her domain." She shook her head. "Besides, I know full well that there are sides to magic that conventional wisdom doesn't even touch upon. My own magic is proof of that." She glanced back to the University student. "Your friend sounds like a clever pony. But you're right. Celestia hasn't revealed all her secrets to the world, either. You can look at the moon and see the crater patterns on its surface, but the sun veils itself in blinding light. For all her visibility, Celestia's got her share of secrets, mark my words. And after all the time she's ruled, she's probably got a collection of secret spells nopony even guesses at."

Pro: everybody wants to nibble on you. Con: everybody wants to nibble on you. LASER eyes

Pinkie frowned. "You sure you don't want something a bit more... upbeat? I'm already a bit disappointed after those cupcakes... Oh whatever, the longer I take deciding, the longer it'll be 'til the next batch of cookies are ready." She put on the record and set about set about mixing another batch of dough for those crazy cookies. She quickly got into the rhythm of baking, and her tension eased up as she forgot about the cupcakes, or the green smoke, or anything but the fun of baking. She took care to slip in her secret ingredient when Dark Core wasn't looking. She still didn't completely trust him not to try to steal her recipe, especially after how much he'd liked the cookies. "OK!" She announced happily. "Another batch is coming right up, now back to experimentation. You have any thoughts on what I should mix with my secret ingredient next?"

"The University? Heck, no. Those *******s wouldn't take me. Though, if the drivel that comes out of there in written form is any indication, they couldn't have taught me anything worth knowing anyway. The basics, like magical theory and whatnot are nice to know, I guess, but all the applied magic is useless to me." Mal paused. "My magic works different from most ponies," she said in explanation. "Word of advice, don't take everything your professors tell you as the only truth. I know for a fact that a lot of the older textbooks have been censored, or rewritten with 'sensitive' material taken out. You aren't gonna find anything teaching you how to drastically increase your powers, like Princess Luna did when she became Nightmare Moon. Man, what I'd give to see Luna's private collection, I bet there are secrets in there that would make your eyes bleed." Having said her peace, she turned back to the librarian. "Name's Malediction," she said impassively. She couldn't care less if he remembered her, in fact, she kind of liked it better when he didn't. It mean fewer bridges to burn in the future, so she'd done her best to avoid making a lasting impression. "I got a card he-" She levitated her bag up, and pulled out a pouch normally filled with all the collected library cards from everywhere she'd been. Unfortunately, the contents had shifted, and she pulled the pouch out upside-down, sending library cards everywhere. "Horseapples," she muttered, darkly. "Just a sec, I'll get 'em."

Pro: Knowledge is power, so you'll be the most powerful person who ever lived. Con: Ignorance is bliss, so you'll be the least happy person who ever lived. Snakes for hair

A scruffy-looking, scarred, blue unicorn pushed open the door. Upon her back, she had balanced a large stack of thick textbooks, which she carefully sidled up to the desk before shoving them off onto it. They were not particularly well cared-for, but most of them were still new enough that the occasional ring where a drink had been left sitting on the cover, or the odd bent spine where they'd been thrown against the wall in frustration were the only damage they had suffered. Malediction was running out of space to store the books she'd been keeping at home, so she figured why not see if the library would take 'em. "Hey, Doc," she said to the librarian, rudely ignoring the other unicorn at the counter. "You take donations? I need to clear out some of my useless textbooks. Don't worry about copies, I've been in here plenty of times, I only order the books you don't already have." Her eye drifted to the book the other customer was purchasing. "Some light reading, eh?" She chuckled darkly. "You know, in all these volumes, not one was as useful as the Lexis AMT, if you can get past her smug way she tries to shove her ethical philosophies down yer throat all the time. Seriously, in the chapter on elemental forces you can't go 2 pages without another nagging reminder not to electrocute living beings or burn down forests or whatever. Yeesh."

Mal startled as she thought she'd heard a voice. She cast out a few more wisps of flame to spread light through the trees. "Whoever that was, I warn you, I'm no easy meal," she called out, aggressively. A voice ruled out manticores, of course, but there were plenty of monsters that could speak. Dragons, worst among them, but she pushed that thought aside. No point getting worked up if it was just another stupid, lost pony. Ever since the Nightmare Moon incident, it seemed like the usual fears of the forest that had kept ponies out were breaking down, and more often than not, Mal would be the one who ended up running into the morons who got themselves lost. It did not occur to her that she was currently the pony who was lost. "SHOW YOURSELF!" She yelled, louder this time. "I know you're there, I heard you speak. Don't try to pretend otherwise."

The flame did serve to snap Mal back to reality, but for a rather different reason. Her own flames burned cold, and the palpable heat from his flame caused her to flinch. Returning to her senses for a moment, and she blinked back tears to shoot a murderous stare at Bonfire. She spat in his direction before speaking, her voice gravelly and ragged from the screaming. "Buck you, you snide, self-righteous sack of manure. If the stick were crammed any further up your flank you'd choke to death on it. A pox on you and your family, may your skin rot and your eyes fall out!" She took a few deep, ragged breaths, before calming down. "Get your pathetic little spark out of my face," she snapped as the guards dragged her away. Still, the fight had gone out of her, and she bade her time, conserving her strength for what might be coming later on.

"Sure." Mal said, trying to look as uncaring as possible. "Or don't. You know, whatever. Your call. Anyway, I'm sick of this city, I'm gonna head home. Back to the iron-shod heart of the empire where the guards arrest you if you look at 'em funny. And I still like it more than this place. Funny, really." She sighed and shook her head. She hesitated for a moment, finding herself strangely reluctant to leave. But it only lasted a moment, she stepped out and left the clinic, looking around for a moment. She was in the clear, and the hate she felt for the city of her teenage years came rushing back after the brief respite she'd had around that strange earth pony. She pushed Dixie from her mind, not wanting to form any sort of attachment to somepony she'd most likely never see again. "Bah," she said, to nopony at all, causing a few ponies walking nearby to give her quizzical looks. Without another backward glance, she set out towards Canterlot. (Exit)

Pinkie smiled as the box seemed to be stopping the smoke from leaking out. Victorious once more. She glanced up, and her smile vanished, as the cloud that had already been released was covering Ponyville now, and a few weather ponies were already checking it out curiously. "Um... yeah, cookies, I'll, uh... get another batch of those started, come on." She grabbed Dark Core and yanked him back inside, away from potentially accusing eyes. "Um... you want to listen to some music? I like to have a little music while I cook." Pinkie asked. Normally she'd just sing herself, of course, but she was still a little antsy about possible repercussions for that green cloud. She just wasn't feeling like singing at the moment. She sat the box on a counter to deal with it later, before stepping into the front and pushing in a cart with a record player on it. Under the player was a selection of records, mostly light pop music and folk tunes, though there were a few rock and roll records as well, since Rainbow Dash appreciated them, and of course the excellent DJ Pon-3 was well-represented as well. "Got any preferences?"

Oh, this is that thing that I had to leave the RP room for, in order to avoid correcting everyone's spelling obsessively. Yeah, sorry about being rude about it. You did not want me in there correcting everything, though, it would have gotten old real quick.

I dunno if it's still on the netflicks instant play, but if anyone hasn't seen The Secret of Kells, you should look for it. Seriously amazing piece of animation.

Pinkie glared at Dark Core. Snippy? She wasn't getting snippy. She just maybe didn't deal so well with frustration. She grunted in exasperation and looked around at the ponies who were starting to gather, drawn by curiosity to the green cloud that was expanding outward to cover the sky above Ponyville. "Um, um, ok, I just need to stop this awful cloud. I need... some kind of airtight container. I think I can find one in the kitchen." She dashed back inside and began loudly rummaging through the cupboards, grateful that the Cakes were out. She finally found a container that seemed big enough, and ran back out, shoveling up the sticky, slimy, smelly, smokey mess of dirt and terrible cupcakes. She gagged at just how horrible they were. "I guess for every success there has to be an equal failure, and those cookies were good." She dug the mess up and crammed it into the container, sighing with relief as the green smoke seemed to be contained, at least for now.

Mal finished her work, smiling in satisfaction as she held the keys side by side, double-checking that they were exact duplicates. She stepped out with her finished work, and did a double-take at how fast Saw had worked. "Wha-woah, you did that much already? I mean... I guess it's not fine detail work like making a key, but that's still a lot of surface area." She ran her hoof across the countertop, impressed with his work. "Um... thanks. Anyway, here's your copy. There shouldn't be any problems, but just in case, you can always bring it back." She handed him the two keys, which were identical enough that you couldn't tell them apart. "That one there's the original," she said, pointing a hoof at it. "I'm open all night, Wednesday to Sunday, usually, Monday and Tuesday I usually reserve for trips to ruins or other cities or whatever. If I'm out on a house call, I'm usually back in an hour tops." She sighed. "I should really make a sign for all that."

Beachnut's expression grew more determined. Clearly they were thieves. Why else would they be so steadfastly denying it? But that wasn't acceptable as proof in any of the stories she'd read. She'd have to shadow them and catch them in the act. "Well than 'Monsieur Not-A-Thief,' you would not mind if I keep a close eye on your villainy, then would you." It was not a question. She paused. "Are all four-legs as shadowy as you? My father would tell me all about this land, but he always said most of you were 'onest folk. But he also told me all about the pirates and brigands and adventurous four-legs as well. I am afraid I am not sure what to expect from your land." After rambling for a moment, realized it would be better not to tell these suspicious characters too much, lest they catch on that she suspected them. "Uh, nevermind that, is this the way to 'Oofinton? I was told to meet up with some family around 'ere, but they may 'ave moved, my father has not been here in many years, and 'as not kept in touch. Tell me, do you know of nuts?"

Tempest rolled her eyes at Granola, but didn't make any comment. She greatly doubted that that was the last mistake the brown pony would make, but it wasn't worth hurting her feelings by telling her so. "Here," said Tempest as Aqua slipped, eager to help. She swooped down and wrapped her legs around Aqua's tail and picked her up. Tempest was not a very strong pony, but just picking up Aqua's tail wasn't too much trouble for her. "Oof. There, now it's like you're only walking on two legs," she said, giggling slightly at the thought. "Try now, should be a lot easier." As they crested the hill, she thought about what else she could do to help Aqua get settled in. "Hmm, so what kind of home did you have in mind setting up here? I could put you in touch with some local construction services, but I'm not sure what they'd be able to do underwater. I'm no expert at construction work, but most structures that extend into the water around here tend to get a little messy with algae and whatnot. Do hippocamp architects have some special technique to combat that?"

Mal stopped to take stock of the surroundings as they made their way into the shelter, noting the suddenly abandoned appearance and the giant hole rendering it an insecure place to hole up. Then the Doctor caught up to them, dragging that wretched cart with him. "Ugh, what is it with you and that cart. Just let 'em have it, it'd buy us some time." She rolled her eyes, but made no move to enforce her suggestion as they continued to evade the scores of robots. As they finally reached a safe building, she breathed an exasperated sigh at the Doctor. "I doubt these things scared off the locals. Look around." She gestured around the room which, much like the others, had been left as if the inhabitants had just up and vanished in the middle of dinner. "Even scared ponies will grab supplies if they're fleeing for good like this. And this food that's just laying out, it's rotten. If they'd fled, they would have had plenty of time to get to another town. News would have gotten out. By now there'd be royal guards, or at least historians tearing this place apart to salvage those things. And that still doesn't explain the aura." Mal snorted, conjecture was not something she really cared to do at the moment, so she contented herself with merely pointing out the mysteries. "Anyway, whatever those things are, they can be broken, so our best bet is to rest up, then smash our way out. I hate to say it, but this is really a job for the big guns. Let the lawpony filth work for their paychecks for once, this isn't our problem." She glanced at the Doctor. "Oh, and before you even suggest it, I am not splitting up. You tried to ditch me once, I'm sticking to you like a particularly painful burr. End of discussion." A particularly perverse idea occured to her, and she grinned maliciously at Lyra. "Heh, maybe those things out there used to BE the locals. You heard them, they're looking for spare parts. All the more reason to not get caught, heheheheheh."

"What?" Pinkie looked cross. "No, never. You can't tell secrets, even if they're your own secrets, and you wouldn't even hurt anyone... well... actually I guess in that case it would be ok. Buuuuuuut I think I'm still not gonna." She pondered for a moment. "Hmm, I already tried water, if just pouring some on made it worse, I don't want to risk making it worser. Oh, I know!" She ducked into the building and came back out with a shovel. She swiftly dug a hole and dumped the tray of noxious cupcakes in. She filled over it with loose soil and stomped on it to pack it in. "There, now that should at least contain..." She frowned, aghast, as smoke continued to bubble up through the tiniest spaces in the dirt. "Oh COME ON!" She scowled at Dark Core. "At least shouting isn't making it any worse."

Hoo boy, Dominion is now officially out, and it is super fun. It's like all the best bits of LoL, but without the slow laning phase or the constant worrying about last hitting. And it takes way less time, I have not seen many games go past 25 minutes.

Pinkie attempted to reply to Dark Core through another fit of coughing. "I don't really *cough* know wh-*hack* what they're supposed to *wheeze* do." She paused and the coughing subsided. "That's the whole point of testing them. And what's in them in my secret ingredient, so obviously I can't tell you, otherwise it wouldn't be a secret ingredient. Giving out your secret ingredient is the fastest way to make it no longer secret." She paused for a moment before needlessly adding "FOREVER!" She picked one of the muffins out of the tray carefully. "That's funny, they don't look burned at all." The cupcake itself had turned a bright blue with yellow spots, though the cake had been plain white cake to begin with. "Hmm, well the green got into the air, and the yellow and blue are on the outside here... I wonder where the other colors went." She broke open the cupcake gingerly, and a foul-smelling dark red slime oozed out of the porous spaces in the cake. "EEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEEEEWW! Ugh, scratch cake batter, this test is officially a failure, I just wish I knew how to make them stop smoking..." She looked around, she was already gathering a small crowd, curious at the smoke. She attempted to smash one with her hoof, but it continued to smoke even after being crushed, and she ended up with the foul red goop on her hoof as well. "STOP SMOKING!" She shrieked, starting to lose her temper with the horrid confections.