aFlatmajor

((Well, could we just pretend the whole MAC canon thing never happened and start from where Helios's (Cainiam's) shadow army entered Fort Book? I mean, i guess anything is allowed in this RP since it is partially based on imagination, but no guns or crazy stuff. These are just small fillies and colts after all...anyway back to the RP!! (someone should really make an OOC forum)) Dawn turned to her opponent, who has begun to invade what was Fort Book. Either she and her subjects had to get to the top of Bookite Mountain (the really high bookcase) now or risk being caught and having to fight to that crazed king and his army. The shoddy staircase of tables and chairs finished, the princess perked up slightly. Fort Book still had a chance!! She began ushering and forcing her subjects to the top of of Bookite Mountain. [colour=#F62817]"C'mon everypony!! Let's go!! We haven't any time to spare!! Lady Manzanita, Allanon, to the summit of the mountain!! Full speed ahead!!"[/colour] She was getting desperate. She wanted to have her kingdom live on. This could only be accomplished if everypony would climb faster!! ((Oh, and Browneh, the RP started in the library, with EVERYPONY in it , as it was closed for "renovations", but seeing as how you just waltzed in here.... oh well...))

(( OOC: Wait, what s going on? I thought we were in a library doing a little imagination RP thing with our younger OC's. This battle has escalated very quickly!! ))

Slightly bothered by the fact that Moondust set free the prisoner, Dawn simply waved her hoof in the direction of the forest, signaling that Moonlight should leave. She hadn't any time to say anything or argue with Moondust's reasoning for setting loose the egg wizard. "Fine, just go back to King Rell Wheeled or what ever. Me, Manny, and.....Odee Estee? Will be rebuilding Fort Book in the skies." She turned to Allanon, who saluted after declaring he is ODST and ready for further instruction. Had he been a part a Fort Book? Maybe he was one of the foals that were to busy playing tag to realize that the fort building had begun. Or was he just late. Dawn pushed these thoughts to the back of her head, remembering to stay in character. "Manny, I have heard the prisoner is gone, but we have more worrying issues at the moment. Lady Manzanita and pony with a strange name I will learn in the future; must build our way to the top of the bookcase!!- Err, I mean, to the top of Bookite Mountain!!?" With Moondust dismissed and orders given to the others,Dawn hurridly began to push a few chairs and table over to the base of Bookite Mountain. They say things done hastily always wind up going wrong, but when there's an army approaching, either you rush, or you get conquered.

We currently have six people, it's up to you if you want more. Either way I'm ready!!

This news was vital to the survival of Fort Book. If Moondust hadn't returned to share this with Dawn, who knows what would have happened. Fort Book would have crumbled underneath that dastardly king's hoof. Dawn turned to the book case while her eyes ran up the length of it and stopped at the top. Yes, this would be perfect for a new kingdom. But there would be minor complications. How would she transport herself and her subjects up there? "Moondust, thank you for this valuable information. Now stand up, there is no need to kneel before me. Now, I have just one question for you before you depart: How in Equestria are we going to get up there?" Dawn was contemplating almost every idea that came to mind. Build a stair case? Catapult? Hot air balloon? Dawn began to speak to Manny, keeping her eyes on where Fort Book would once again rise. "Lady Manzanita, fetch the prisoner if you would and meet me back here. Posthaste" Mispronouncing 'posthaste' terribly, Dawn looked around. Searching for object to assist their upcoming ascent

Ooh!! This sounds epic fun!! Count me in with Dawn Sunrise!! (who is still waiting for approval, so if necessary, I'll post her bio)

Epic character and character app, if I do say so myself. Though you should mark this app as [Final] or [Wip], just to let RP staff and people know if it is ready for review.

Dawn hopped down from her throne to Moondust's side. The Princess was slightly troubled by her subjects wings, however. She thought about them for a quick moment and thought that they may prove useful and not to question it. "Ah, Moondust. You may speak, but please hurry it along. As you see I have a few announcements to make and I mustn't be hindered. So speak if you must." Dawn perked up slightly, did Moondust possibly have important info about the enemy? She eagerly awaited the news, holding up a hoof to silence Manny, who seemed more than happy to serve the princess.

Dawn looked down upon her kingdom from her throne. Options running through her head. She thought of all her forces within Fort Book. She had Lady Manzanita, Moonlight the Just, Gate Keeper Archie, Moondust, and the prisoner. While the king had no known forces of his own. Dawn thought this battle was going to be a piece of cake, but she was only aware of her gate keeper being nowhere to be found. Either way, it was time to prepare for battle. She stood tall in her throne, hailing her warriors and defenders. "All forces report to the throne!! Repeat, All forces report to the throne!! We have an upcoming battle, and we need to prepare!!" Dawn sat impatiently, awaiting the arrival of her subjects...

Ok, so I changed that and I'm now thinking of a pony name for Shakespeare, or I might just leave it as "having read many plays and poems by various bards".

Umm, not from what I can tell. I guess if you wanted to you could expand on his history a bit more or something. Looks good to me though.

Under "Character Summary" in "Application Form", notice how it has specific areas you should cover when talking about your character. It's just about anything else you would like to say about your character, like, delving into them, giving them a full and well developed personality and history. Here's a few things that the character summary should contain: History Parents Cutie Mark Story Character Flaws Personality If you want more detail about what to talk about more specifically, take a look at "Character Summary" in "Application Form (rules and details" once more. Oh, and one last teeny tiny detail. You should really take the colour out of this app, apps are supposed to be written in plain, boring, black and white font. Once you get those few things patched up, you should be ready to go with this character!! After he gets an approved stamp by a Senior RP Helper, that is.

Ok, so, seeing as how I have found tons of free time, I've decided to review this app. First off, there is no cutie mark story, which is mandatory. How did he get his cutie mark? What did he learn about himself when he received said cutie mark? Also, you should change his age to "colt", seeing as how we really don't know ponies actuall numerical age in FiM. Oh, and it seems you may have forgotten to fill out his personality or just accidentally skipped over it, so you may want to fix that. And as a last note, there are few typos here and there, so maybe go over your app a fix those. Thanks for reading what I had to say and I hope you take some of my hopefully helpful advice into consideration.

Really!! Well I don't really have time to do this RP anyway, my schedule's becoming a bit clustered, sorry.

No problem! I'm always looking out for my friends.

I saw this, read that there were five open slots, gets ready to fill in app...Finds out that TotalEcplise is the fifth person to fill this out an hour ago. Oh well, lawl Better luck next time!

Oh, I get it. I just never really thought of it that way before.

Hiya Tales (If I may call you that for short), Silver Wisp here! Nice app you got here, but one slight problem: There is nothing filled in for "Motivations". I assume that you accidentally marked this as Final and missed the motivation part. Other than that, this app seems set. Also, I didn't know hippocamp had cutie marks, I learned something today!! Thanks for taking the time to consider what I had to say.

Wow, you have this really well thought out. I now understand what you're doing with Iron Will, so I have no more questions for you. Never heard of a Pegasus that can't do weather though, to my knowledge, Iron Will is the first. A wonderful character you have here!!

I came across this app prepared to review it only to find it littered with suggestions, tips, and other things if that nature. So it looks like you have some work to do. Take the already given advice into consideration. Although, if you wish for this character to remain unchanged (though you WILL need an actuall cutie mark story and possibly an edited character history/summary), I would advise putting him in Crossovers. If you couldn't see your character in an actual episode of FiM, he won't be allowed in WoE RP. Also, my word isn't law since I'm not a Mod or RP Staff or what ever, so you could kinda just ignore me if you'd like. But it would be appreciated if you took my words into consideration as well. Good luck trying to get this character in World of Equestria!

Hey, I was going over this app, and I was like woah, this is amazing!! Only one question though: What prevents Iron Wing from being able to control weather like other pegasi? You mention this in the "Physique" of Iron Wing, and I'm just curious as to why, seeing as how all pegasi should have a magical connection with clouds. Other than this and a few minor typos, I would say this is perfect! Too bad I'm not a Mod or anything so my opinions really don't matter. But I would appreciate it if you were to take my advice into consideration.

Dawn was about to retort for the "King" insulting her kingdom, which is going through some major renovations, until she noticed Manny, ready to assisinate the foalish king. She smiled at the thought of defeating her enemy so soon, but her short lived joy was ended by the eggnomancer, who gave her life to save King Rell Wheeled. Long live the king..... As the arrogant, stubborn, meanie-head king strode off, Dawn galloped over to Manzanita. "Lady Manzanita!! If you're going to discharge of somepony be sure to do it right. But for now, take that filly and put her in our dungeon as prisoner. I'll be back at Fort Book, I must warn our kingdom that we have a new enemy and we may be going to war..." Orders given, Princess Dawn slowly trotted back within fort book, devising a battle plan as she went.

Dawn was furious, but she tried to keep her anger from showing, as to not set off sparks between her and the king. This being quite difficult with the king being stubborn. "You say we can coexist if I back down from my current position of Princess. But we wouldn't really be coexisting unless you also backed down from your state of royalty. Either we can coexist as royalty, or as commoners. And if you prefer neither of those, go ahead and make your own kingdom, just be prepared for the conquest of Fort Book." No way in Equestria would Dawn back down. Why should she be the subordinate of some foal wearing some silly cape? She stomped her hoof in frustration, thinking of how to prevent further conflict.

The princess of Fort Book stopped with her foalish hopping and faced Moonlight. "Oh, yes. Feel free to search to your heart's content. Just don't stray to far from Fort Book." Dawn then turned away from the other filly to check on her other subjects, but was stopped by the sound of somepony who opposed to her ruling and supported a king. Dawn hadn't fully realized there was a king, being too busy declaring her self as princess. Maybe if she could find a way to get this so called king to join her in ruling Fort Book, then the filly Overeasy would be more than willing to be part of her kingdom. As long as things didn't take a turn for the worst... "Lady Overeasy, the great and powerful...eggnomancer? Please, I do not wish for conflict within the walls Fort Book. Join us, and I promise you prosperity and success for years to come!!" She turned over and glared gently at Manzanita. She wished there would be no conflict between this king and his subjects and herself. "I am no better than king...who ever he is, Rell Wheeled? And he is no better than me. I'm sure this king is a fine ruler, and would be a great addition to Fort Book. King Rell Wheeled, wherever you may be, I ask of you to join me as ruler of Fort Book." As she spoke she looked around, awaiting a response from this king that Overeasy spoke so highly of.

Ok, so edits have been made and I hope it's better.