Earth Pony (Final)Whacky Wilson

[Armony]

How is this application coming along?

[Deadpool]

It's doing good

[Rosewind]

How is this coming along? If you need more assistance, I would be pleased to help you. Let me know where you are stuck, and perhaps I may offer you some suggestions on how to develop this character.

[Rosewind]

Please comment in five days or this application will be removed. Thanks!

[Deadpool]

Right now I just need some feedback, to see whether or not he is ready to be labeled as "finished"

[LightningRider]

how is it coming along dead pool?

[Rosewind]

The Esteemed Flutterscotch shall be taking the reins on this -- she's a bit of a comic guru and might resonate well with your vision here, and how it may translate to Mane RP. She's also a SRP Staff, so beware! *evil laughter, cough*

[flutterscotch]

Ok, I get that this character is supposed to be an off-the wall, lampshade hanging, 4th wall breaking chaos machine...I actually at one point had Deadpool's first appearance...or borrowed it from a friend soon after it came out as much as Rob Liefeld drove me insane. I get that. But there are some real roadblocks keeping us from letting this character loose on the World of Equestria, as he is right now can be a highly disruptive force. He'd about a 7 on a scale of 1-10 of disruptive. We need about a 3. No more disruptive than if you rolled Pinkie and Trixie up in a mixed-up ball, or he's just going to be hard for others to RP with. Since this is a social site, this kind of compromise is necessary.

Occupation: free lance royal guard (By this, I mean, his normal job is royal guard, however, under cirumstances and certain permission, he can be hired to guard certain ponies, or be hired as a security guard, Think a rent-a-cop.)

Dropping the "Royal" from this would clear up some of the issues. Why can't he just be a freelance guard to, say, keep varmints out of farms. Something lighter and less tied to implied fighting, and thus lighter. Plus watching him argue with rabbits would be even funnier, and there would be WAY more opportunities for him to get paychecks in this way. He doesn't seem like the type to be too proud for anything that'll get him some bits. Guarding colt's clubhouses to keep out the fillies? Sure. Guarding a clothesline to keep it from being sullied by a muddy dog? sure. Adding overzealousness and overkill to this will keep the weirdness you're trying to go to, but considerably tone down the potential for violence, and thus make him much more palatable in WoE RP. But I do not think he is stable enough, responsible enough, or has the discipline enough to be a member of the Royal Guard. They'd pretty much court marital him immediately.

Motivation: Whacky Wilson is a crazed pony, as such his motives are usually awkward.. But most of all it is his paycheck that keeps him going, he is a very greedy pony, and that is a habit he is often trying to work on. He also keeps going to taste another vegetarian chimichanga the next day. This being his Favorite food.

I am going to have to ask you to not state "crazed" as this implies an actual disorder. Irresponsible, and non-serious to the point of uselessness until a paycheck is on the line? Sure.

Whacky was far from a normal pony, he was in a word, whacky. Whacky was like a god of talkativeness, once he was in an argument over who was cooler, and despite all of his opponents insults, Whacky found creative, and funny comebacks that attracted an entire crowd, to the point where the other pony plain gave up. As a young stallion, he left home and became a free lance royal guard, he found criminals and brought them to jail. He wear a mask, made of cotton, out of the pure fact that he finds the feeling cotton against his face comfortable. He got athletic abilities after learning the key to chasing criminals in canterlot was by rooftop, he learned all kinds of flips and tricks, such as front flips, back flips, mid air cartwheels, and barrel rolls.

But how did he get this way? Surely there was some influence in his childhood that just warped his sense of trying to fit in and/or behave like a responsible member of society. is it just something that started as a foal, and because he got positive reinforcement from his parents about it, he grew up maladjusted and weird? Remember, please keep this light. The proliferation of characters with overly dark pasts is very overused at this point, whether the character you are basing this on has it or not. Remember, you would not be playing EXACTLY Deadpool, you would be playing a ponified parody of him, so it would need to be considerably lighter and funnier. The scars definitely would not pass.

Moreover, what influenced him to specifically go after criminals? I think that at a younger age, these criminals would have to be very petty ones indeed, and he probably annoys the everloving flanks off the local authorities.

Also, the mask... did he, say, start wearing it during Nightmare Night or some other event? or just randomly decided one day "Sure, I'll just put on this mask for no apparent reason"?

He has many skills such as acrobatics, but his most commonly used skill is his mouth, he will talk endlessly into winning an argument or just blabber nonsense until the other pony gives up.

He has trouble getting along with other ponies, and has resorted to talking to himself in the form of two speech bubbles that only he can see, one yellow, one white. These two speech bubbles "Fred" and "Charlie" are extremely argumentative with one another.

Fred is basically interested in "EXPLOSIONS, COMIC BOOKS, OTHER MANLY THINGS."

Charlie is interested in "High society manners and being a gentlecolt."

These two are not MPD or Schizophrenia, but merely imaginary friends in a word. Whacky has asked them multiple times where they have came from. To which they reply differently each time.

This can be used to great comedic effect, and I am urging you to keep this aspect of the character on the lighter side. Pinkie also fell into this, but it wasn't an ALL the time kind of ongoing commentary. He'd never be able to focus on anything real if this commentary was going on all the time.

Please let us know when you've addressed some of the issues I've outlined and we can reassess.

[Deadpool]

I've made some edits.

[flutterscotch]

Fred's interest in comic books, explosions and "manly" things was fine before. Why did you edit it to include references to the internet? Because those definitely have to go.

[Deadpool]

Edited it back

[TemplarFrost]

and, furthermore, there's the question as to how an earth pony would work such mechanisms with nothing but hooves and teeth.

In DP's defense, we've seen hooves play the piano, violin, grasp a sword, ect. So the hooves issue would'nt really be much of a problem.

And, you can make your character have weapons, as long as it stays in peaceful intent, such as fencing, marksman archery, tomahawk throwing, etc.

[flutterscotch]

I am still not super sold on his backstory, it seems a little slim on the details, especially regarding his rather abrupt personality change and decision to wear cloth on his face, and why the design that he has? How did he even figure that out?

Basically, it's been decided this character really can't be an obvious expy of Deadpool. Some of the things like the cartoon-ish angel devil arguing can stay, but you're going to need to flesh him out and disguise him more so that people don't immediately go "that's Deadpool as a pony".

Or he will have to be a crossover application.

[Rosewind]

Any progress?

[Deadpool]

It is actually going well, but I keep getting distracted by RL and video games.

[Rosewind]

Any progress?

[Deadpool]

Not yet, I kinda dug myself into a hole.

[Rosewind]

You are free to move this application to Crossovers if you'd like. It'll get a stamp right away in that case, and you can play this character how you originally envisioned. If you'd like to do this, please adjust the RP type and post here letting me know.

[Rosewind]

Please respond within five days or this application will be removed. Thanks!

[Deadpool]

Moved it to crossovers.

[Rosewind]