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Darkness Eclipsed {Final}


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Well, due to the vast number of applications being reviewed, I cn't say. What I can say is that we will definitely try to get it finalized as soon as possible. After all, we want to see this character out and about as soon as possible!

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Ok. A few more things are needed befor this app is official.

1) You mention that his Likes "Will be revealed in an RP". You actually need to provide some things for this area.

2)

"He was a sweet, kind, and caring young filly" - erm... isn't darkness a colt?

3) As he aged he began to make some money with some odd tasks and erands for those he could get to help him, once he made enough he bought a train ticket and booked it to Canterlot. It took a week to travel there and once he got there he bought a house and for the first week hid in his house, that was until he noticed how warm and happy everyone here was. He left his house the next day, and no one said anything, he even talked with this Unicorn called Moonlite Frost, and they talked for a bit. This made him loosen up a bit and now he walks around Canterlot looking for a job."

While I can understand a colt maybe having enough bits to buy a train ticket, how did he get money to buy a house since he's a colt and unemployed? Also did you mention that Moonlite Frost is another character of yours? If so, you can always have darkness stay at a house.

4) and his moon Cutie Mark appeared to show how he uses the night and moon to guide him. But then his parents arrived and yelled at him saying it was all his fault the tree fell and the storm hit, which of course was irrational but they didn't care, which made the bright beautiful cutie mark become covered by a black eclipse to show his shadowed heart and past.

A cutie mark is a permanent mark and does not change after a pony first receives it. So he can either have a moon or and eclipsed moon, but there can't be a shift.

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Ok. one more thing. You should make your cutie marks story less related to the fact that darkness's parents rejected him, and more like he got his mark as a symbol of him being able to guide ponies home.

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Yes, but a cutie mark is based on ability rather than an event, so if your pony is able to guide ponies using the moon, that would be his mark.

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