Unicorn Shadow Night

[Shadowkage]

Roleplay Type: Equestria Crossovers RP

Name: Shadow Night

Sex: Male

Age: Colt age 17

Species: Unicorn

Coat colour: Midnight blue with black strikes every here and there

Mane/Tail/Markings colour: Black and Light blue-purple/Black and light blue-purple/ Black bone shaped birthmark right where mane

ends

Mane/Tail Style: Punk spike style moving backwards

Eye colour/Style: Light blue/Dragon style

Cutie Mark: A Blue Hylian Shield

Physique: between average and muscular

Origin: Ponyville

Occupation: Shield Maker and Rare Item Finder

Motivation: To make the perfect shield to protect his friends

Likes: Daring Doo novels and most animals

Dislikes: Sharks

Character Summary: History: Born in Ponyville and spent most of colthood traveling the world.

Parents: Knight Night and Isis Night is Shadow’s parent and both have passed on.

Cutie Mark Story: Shadow have been making shields for one week now after his 8^th birthday and the Griffons had heard of how good they were so the king called upon him to make a shield for him. It had to have Dragon claws in it. So he sent 2 of his guards along with Shadow to get the claws. During the battle against the Dragon the griffon guards were injured and about to die when Shadow jumped in the way blocking the claw with his personal shield which by sheer luck broke all four claws. When asked by the griffons why he did that he said “because I could not stand to see any other being get killed in front of me.” Then later after then had returned to the king with the Dragons claw shield the guards told their tale to the king. The king was so impressed the he decided to give Shadow the title ‘The Guardian’. Then all of the sudden a blue shield cutie mark appeared on Shadow’s flank meaning that he is a guardian to his friends.

Flaws: He zones out sometimes while making a shield and can’t hear anything. Does not like the sea very much due to sharks.

Personality: Shadow is a free-spirited pony with a kind heart. He is funny yet serious when faced with a task. He is also very charming. He is enthusiastic. He talks at a decent pace most of the time and fast when needed to. He is one of the luckiest ponies in history. He is lucky because his parents cast a pure luck spell on him with thier dying breath.

Extra: Shadow is also very special. Just like The Mane 6 Shadow has an element as well. But his is not of harmony. It is an element of discord. The element of change. It is the only element of discord that can be a good thing to have at times. Always carries a shield made with fire rubies, black steel and diamonds forged from a dragons flame which is unbreakable. His weapon is a Dragon Blade which is stored in a pocket dimension.

Magic Type: Defensive magic, can use shadow magic to bind his target, and also has healing magic.

Edited October 16, 2012 by Shadowkage

[Imagination]

Hey there, ShadowKage!

I noticed you just joined up today. In that regard, welcome!

As part of your welcome, I feel it's my duty as a Senior RP Helper to assist you in getting this app on the right track and help you get your character out there

For starters, we have a definite template for how character applications should be written out, otherwise I'm afraid the staff will not review it.

You can find the proper template here: http://www.canterlot.com/topic/11715-application-form-rules-and-details/

I would very strongly recommend you give the RP rules a read, as they'll help you know what's generally acceptable and what's generally a no-no, which will help move your application along much more quickly.

The rules can be found here: http://www.canterlot.com/page/rules/_/rprules/mainrprules/roleplaying-rules-r15

If you have any other questions, feel free to PM myself or any member of the RP Helpstaff and we'll be more than happy to give you a hand!

[Rosewind]

Any progress on this application?

[Shadowkage]

Hey there, ShadowKage!

I noticed you just joined up today. In that regard, welcome!

As part of your welcome, I feel it's my duty as a Senior RP Helper to assist you in getting this app on the right track and help you get your character out there

For starters, we have a definite template for how character applications should be written out, otherwise I'm afraid the staff will not review it.

You can find the proper template here: http://www.canterlot...es-and-details/

I would very strongly recommend you give the RP rules a read, as they'll help you know what's generally acceptable and what's generally a no-no, which will help move your application along much more quickly.

The rules can be found here: http://www.canterlot...aying-rules-r15

If you have any other questions, feel free to PM myself or any member of the RP Helpstaff and we'll be more than happy to give you a hand!

i finally redid my oc the right way!

[Shadowkage]

Any progress on this application?

yes i finally finished the right way.

[Rosewind]

Mmm, interesting character. We've got a slight problem, though! Mane RP is a very strict roleplay that follows the canon of FiM very closely, so this would probably not be an appropriate match for this character you've designed. Fear thee not, however! We have wonderful sections called Crossovers or Free for All where this character would be fine to play in. If that would be suitable for you, please hit the "Edit" button and change the roleplay type to "Crossovers" or "Free for All" in your application. Crossovers is an "application strongly encouraged" area, "Free for All" you can jump right in without one, period.

Please don't make a new thread and repost this application. If you've decided to change your roleplay type, I'll be happy to stamp this application and you can dive in to play right away.

If you're still interested in Mane RP, I suggest you look over the RP Rules and Guides area to get a better idea of how to design a character for play there. If you have any questions, feel free to ask right here. Thanks!

[Shadowkage]

Mmm, interesting character. We've got a slight problem, though! Mane RP is a very strict roleplay that follows the canon of FiM very closely, so this would probably not be an appropriate match for this character you've designed. Fear thee not, however! We have wonderful sections called Crossovers or Free for All where this character would be fine to play in. If that would be suitable for you, please hit the "Edit" button and change the roleplay type to "Crossovers" or "Free for All" in your application. Crossovers is an "application strongly encouraged" area, "Free for All" you can jump right in without one, period.

Please don't make a new thread and repost this application. If you've decided to change your roleplay type, I'll be happy to stamp this application and you can dive in to play right away.

If you're still interested in Mane RP, I suggest you look over the RP Rules and Guides area to get a better idea of how to design a character for play there. If you have any questions, feel free to ask right here. Thanks!

what is wrong with my OC?

[starswirlthebearded]

what is wrong with my OC?

I could be wrong but fighting Cerberus as a colt is a stretch, even with a specially made shield. Also the whole extra thing... the "[colour=#282828]Extra: Shadow is also very special. Just like The Mane 6 Shadow has an element as well. But his is not of harmony. It is an element of discord. The element of change. It is the only element of discord that can be a good thing to have at times." That especially doesn't fit in Mane RP. [/colour]

[colour=#282828]As Rosie would say... Could you see this character being in the show?[/colour]

[RarityDash]

what is wrong with my OC?

Well, since you ask, let me highlight for you what exactly would need to changed if you do in fact want this character to be acceptable for the World of Equestria Mane RP section:

• Character applications should not include a number for age. We do not know how long ponies live, or at what pace they age. Numbers are too specific and numbered ages have never really been used in the show. For the age field, it should say simply colt or if you want to get a little more specific, older colt. Numbered ages should also not be included in the character summary sections (you mention his eighth birthday in there).
  
• We tend not to like new OCs to live in Ponyville. We already have so many OCs living there that it's really kind of over-saturated. The World of Equestria RP strives to show off an entire World of Equestria and not just Ponyville. Your character would be expected to live in one of our other approved RP locations if you want him in the mane RP.
  
• The history section should contain more detail. You say he was born and he travelled around but you tell us practically nothing about anything that ever happened to him, who he is or what he does. Elaborate. Give us more. These applications are supposed to tell us who the character is, and this at the moment just doesn't.
  
• With his parents, you should be aware that pony names are not like human names; It's kind of unusual for ponies to have a definite last name that all within the family would share. Moreover, the idea of his parents being deceased is something that is far overdone in OCs; it's not disallowed, I suppose, but it is something that should probably be watched, and especially here where it is not explained and does not seem to effect or inform his character in any cleary defined way. You don't have to apply for or involve a character's parents in any way if you don't want to, so if you're going to remove them from the picture entirely it should at least matter.
  
• You create lore for the griffons in the application, which is something strictly prohibited. Reason being, we already have a lot of board lore and this is just not the right channel to create more of it. Looking at our current griffon lore, you'll see that Aquelia, as the griffon lands have been named here, is an oligarchy. This means there is no King.
  
• Cerberus is one of the most powerful creatures in Equestria. Also, evidence indicates there is only one cerberus in Equestria, and it faithfully guards Tartarus (and may in fact be a trained creature put in place by Princess Celestia). I see no reason for the griffons to go after Cerberus in any way. Regardless, as fearsome as Cerberus is, it's unlikely he could be disarmed and bested by a young colt with a shield.
  
• Character stories should be reasonable. Mastering a craft like shield making takes time and effort. I don't think a colt so young would be so skilled at it as to attract other nations. It just doesn't seem plausible.
  
• His flaws really seem kind of small scale and not very much like flaws at all. He concentrates fully on his craft and he's afraid of sharks? Those both seem entirely rational to me and hardly qualify as character flaws.
  
• You say he is one of the luckiest ponies ever? How so. A statement like this should be qualified. How exactly is he lucky.
  
• Finally, The element of Discord thing does not fit Mane RP at all. The Elements of Harmony are a part of show canon, but no other types of elements are seen anywhere in the show. We do not allow non-canon ideas like this to be introduces so readily in apps. This is going to need to be removed.
  

If all of that is addressed, your app may be approvable for the World of Equestria Mane RP. It may prove to be a lot of work to do so, however, and as Rosewind said, we do offer our far more immediate and less restrictive Free For All and Crossover RP games if you do not want to go through the trouble and just want to start RPing. It's entirely up to you which section you want to try for. Either way, Good luck!

[Rosewind]

Annnnd there you have it! My ultimate advice is that if you like this character you've made and want to dive on in, use the appropriate roleplay area. Crossovers and Free For All are fun areas that I think you'd really enjoy, especially with a character like Shadow. After you've grown comfortable with playing in those areas, you might try making a "Mane RP" character that you may design closer to the FiM canon we use to run Mane RP. Remember: if you won't see it in the show, it definitely won't be approved as part of your character in Mane RP.

You do have plenty of options, so please don't feel like we're against your creative ideas or your character itself -- we just want you to understand which area is best and appropriate to play him as he is designed right now. We are open to helping you develop and improve this character if you'd like -- feel free to ask! Think about what you want to get out of our game before you make your choice -- if you really wish for this character to exist in Mane RP, you will have a lot of work to do.

[Rosewind]

Please respond within five days or this application will be removed. Thanks!

[Shadowkage]

Please respond within five days or this application will be removed. Thanks!

YES?

[Shadowkage]

i did a little bit more editing to my pony!

[RarityDash]

Ah, I see you decided to try out Crossovers. Hope you have fun there!