Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 (edited) RoleplayType: World of Equestria Name: Citrus OrangeSex: Female Age: MareSpecies: Earth PonyEye colour: Emerald greenCoat: OrangeMane/Tail: Long and well groomed. A mix of dark and light orange. Physique: Physically fit and very agile, but not as strong as most other earth ponies. Residence: Citrus was born and raised in Manehattan, and still maintains a small home there - But goes on regular jaunts to ponyville and the surrounding land, leaving for months at a time. Occupation: - Self employed field researcher - usually independent - but occasionally employed by a shady patron to locate certain items of interest or high value. However, she occasionally stoops to common barwork during hard times if she requires extra bits. CutieMark: A slice of orange fruit. Like the rest of the Orange family, Citrus's cutie mark not only marks her as another shrewd Orange with a talent for growth - be it economical or physical. Citrus gained her cutie mark rather early for a filly - the earliest in her class by a few months. Although Citrus dislikes her family, she's always been rather proud of her mark, and the talents it represents. History:Born and raised in the pomp and circumstance of manehattan's upper class, Citrus's early life was defined by her family name - the Oranges were a fabulously wealthy family, and were highly respected among the upper classes for their fortune and shrewd business tactics. Citrus was always something of a wild-filly, refusing to conform to the stifling rules and expectations her parents placed on her - which placed her on the receiving end of many arguments with them - her father in-particular, who was especially stri Citrus's younger years were rather miserable despite the privileged upbringing she had. Over the years, the young filly's distaste for the political scene grew into scorn - and she regularly sneaked out of her home to experience the gritty, seedy underbelly of Manehattan. In the darker, twisting streets of the city, Citrus happily consorted with the poor and the criminal underbelly - her quick wit and sharp tongue allowing her to hide her upper class roots - and learnt a few valuable skills during her time there - including basic lessons in lockpicking and thievery. Citrus was still constricted to Manehattan's posher district most of the time however, despite her uninterested attitude, developed a fierce love for study and lore during her teen upbringing. Her impressive - though somewhat cold - intelligence earned her something of a mixed reputation among the upper classes. In her teenage years, Citrus was forced by her parents to attend the Manehattan Academy, even though her express wish was to attend a University in Stalliongrad. The mare held little interest for the subject her parents had selected for her (Agriculture) and instead threw herself into the study of ancient Equestria history, developing a keen fascination with the slightly darker side of Equestrian history and the numerous legendary artifacts and ruins that were lost to time. Citrus was a very gifted student, and earned top grades in her studies - but also frequently chastised for her flippancy and contemptible attitude towards some of her fellow students. after she graduated, The Academy also reported that several very precious books had gone missing from the library - they were never found. With her excellent grades, Citrus quickly created herself as a Field Researcher - with the soul intention of unraveling many of the ancient mysteries she had studied during her time at the Academy. However, when her parents learnt of their daughter's intention to leave Manehattan to pursue old fairy tales,, they confronted her and an argument ensued, resulting in Citrus leaving the family home stating she would forever be independent of them - both financially and physically. LikesIndependence, reading, research, confidence, ponies who don't allow themselves to be stepped on, classical music and bars - the darker and dirtier the better. Dislikes"Stuck-up" ponies, ponies she considers unintelligent or dull, politics, fancy parties/balls, bossy individuals, busy-bodies, sentiment and insects. Character SummaryCitrus Orange is a very intelligent mare, well spoken and very independent. Despite her upbringing, she is sharp tongued and sarcastic - as well as very condescending and harsh to those she considers inferior to herself , and those who waste her time. Preferring her own company most of the time, Citrus is rarely one to actively pursue relationships of any sort - she finds the idea of intimacy of any kind there of rather uncomfortable, and does her very best to avoid such scenarios. Although she displays an air of confidence, her lack of tact often rubs ponies the wrong way - even when she doesn't intend it. Her constant travelling and personality have left her with precious few confidants and even fewer friends. In her darker moments, Citrus is actually quite lonely - though she would never admit it, even to herself. Citrus moral alignment is of chaotic neutrality. She cares little for morality, usually serving herself and following her own whims. She dislikes authority - especially when that authority attempts to restrict her or impede her own goals. While she strives to protect her own independence, she will rarely go out of her way to defend the liberty of another unless she feels compelled to do so: an example being that Citrus feels a certain instinct to defend the poor and the wretched - something that stems from spending her youth in the poorer areas and seeing the trails of those who lived there first hand.[colour=#666600] [/colour] Edited December 27, 2012 by Spaced Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Hello there! You seem new to Canterlot so first off just let me say WELCOME Now on to business! I have a few suggestions to help you with your app, but ofcourse I am not Rp Helpstaff so my word isn't law so feel free to disregard it at your leisure Her cutie mark and loathing for it. I don't quite feel you get how cutie marks work, your cutie mark is not a family brand, nor is it going to be something you totally and utterly LOATH either, It's supposed to be a mark about YOUR special talent that MEANS something to you, it is not a hate statement so I think you should remove the orange slice and focus on something that is actually important to Citrus.Her relationship with her parents. I feel you are trying too hard to make this character a tragedy and that's really not what FIM is about! You have her for Canterlot Mane rp and we try to stick things as close to the show as possible, so I feel this app has unnecessary drama in itHer relationship with AppleJack, The rules state that OC'S cannot have past relationships with cast characters, and since AppleJacks rper is taken it's sort of rude to try and force a relationship on her player without even contacting her about it.You seem to be trying to make her a canon character, which unless she appeared as a background pony in the show, then it's really not allowed Other than that she seems like a strong independent mare and with some tweaking would be a fantastic character for mane rp! Good luck Oh and one last thing, the bit about studying about King Sombra... In that episode they sorta made it clear there was no real history of it outside the crystal empire so you might want to fix that as well :3 Good Luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Hey, thanks for the excellent feedback and the warm welcome 1. In terms of her cutie mark, perhaps I've overworked her "Hate" of it. It's less hate, more...dislike. Being from a fruit based family and getting a fruit based cutie mark? She just doesn't like to be defined by her natural talent, like the rest of the Apples/oranges.2. The oranges in the show were shown to be somewhat class-conscious, I always wondered what it might be like for a character to have to grow up in that environment, again, perhaps I've gone slightly over board with the "hate" there, Citrus just doesn't get on with her parents.3. Ahhh, that's a fair point. I never considered - it's just been a part of her origin story since I made her. That'll be removed.4. I don't really understand this bit. I just wanted to make her "fit in" as it were. Isn't that what a good OC is all about?I'll make some edits, thanks for your feedback. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 No problem, and well you are trying to make her part of the orange family when she is actually NOT from the show, and trying to tie her to a canon character to boot, and that's simply not allowed in mane rp at all, so I think you should try to make your own family instead of trying to connect her history to AppleJacks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 I'd really like to keep the Orange bit. It's really a part of who she is - It wouldn't feel right to take that away.If that's the case, I may have to look at making a different character. Fingers crossed though - I mean, the Oranges were in one episode for two and a half minutes. Hopefully I can haggle some leeway.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 I think you should definitely ask a RP helper about that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 I mean, if worst comes to worst - she'll just be "Citrus" and her family name never mentioned. I mean, she's pretty..uh...Orange. Hehe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 You could name her Citrus Orange without her being tied to the Orange Family lol, just cause your name has Apple or Orange in it doesn't mean you are part of the same family.Though if you do feel the need to change her name "Citrus Zest" is a cute name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Ahhhh! I like the way you think..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 I like the way YOU like the way I think ;D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 I like the way we're BOTH fruit based citrus fruits.Together, Scurvy shall be a thing of the past! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 I'M NOT THAT KINDA LIME!-bops-I will give you a pass on this due to you being new >P It's the OTHER kinda QuickLime XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Never! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Hi there! It looks like Lime is giving you some solid feedback, and I like the look of your application so far. As the Apple family has many different instances of families across Equestria, I see no reason the Oranges can't operate the same. You are welcome to keep the name of Orange if you'd like, as your application doesn't directly reference any of our cast in the game. Unless I am told otherwise, you may use this name in your application.I would try to take focus away from her disliking her cutie mark. As we understand it, it's a mark of coming of age, and something that a young pony really strives for. To get one and dislike it -- or its meaning -- doesn't seem like it would fit well into our understanding of how cutie marks (and their subsequent meanings) work for ponies.I understand you're very new here, and you've already made a very nice character. World of Equestria is very strict about what we can allow, but you seem to be doing a fine job of making a playable character for there. I know this can be a frustrating exercise for new players. With that said, I can't wait to see more of you around here! If you have any questions, feel free to ask them right into this thread and we will clarify any information you're not sure about. We're all here to help you, including our Patron Saint, Lime! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 23, 2012 Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Yus Patron Saint of Canterlot Is me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2012 Dang it, i'll never live down the shame. Thank-you for the wonderful feedback you two - and the warm welcome. It's been a wonderful introduction all around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonicRainboomGirl Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 I've been watching your app too...secretly...I really like it! Just letting ya know, it's super good. Rosie and Lime have said everything I would have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 SRBG! don't scare her away XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonicRainboomGirl Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 I can't help that I'm terrifying... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 Scare me away? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 And now we play the waiting game.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 Considering it's Christmas eve for a lot of us, might wanna play that game for a while Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaced Posted December 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 It's fine, gives me time to peek around the forums Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunsetSombra Posted December 28, 2012 Report Share Posted December 28, 2012 Having taken a look at the application, it has come to my attention it is *sorely* lacking...something.There it is - situation remedied! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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