Post something absolutely random

[DrLeperLvpinstein]

yes, be crazy. be ludicrous. be redonkulous! Because, if you don't your apple milk won't taste like Chrysanthemums. NO! rather it will taste like the the blackened soul of a liar... wait! did i say liar? i meant lawyer. Anyway, I went to a party just today. It was a smashing soiree, but i didn't like the meatloaf. you should have heard his lurid jokes of toilet humor. A John in ear shot had heard and brutalized the sauce covered culinary delight to pulp. served him right nonetheless. now i must to bed lest i wish to become a Persian rug within the hour. and please tip the waiter, he's drunk on the stool and sleeping on the job. a rude awakening ought to motivate him some. Now, got to your room!

[NeoExlucky]

Twilight sparkle is actually a recolour of lauren faust's sister's babysitter's dog's bone's child who had a freak accident and became a human that was mutated into you friendly neighborhood batman, then adopted three children who either died, became a computer, or became a gang leader of the pie hunt. She goes around hacking computers and making them say crazy things like jhfioapjfiunvinafogauifiupasnfiuaenifucnsdauifcnhasdjodfjadsuijfiusdankopsdfopjdsaklfnbksda;lfnkoasdfmnianfiuopdanmfioasmdifovsjdaiupfnasdp

that seem like you smashed your head into the keyboard when you really didn't and then you grow a pair of wings and fly away as you hold onto your computer for dear life, then you drop into a lovely cafe only to fall in love with the most beautiful cup coffee then you get married to it and have kids with it only to have the marriage end in divorce because you cheated on it with another cup of coffee from work and then you wonder the meaning of life and join the brony fandom. Afterwards you end up going to brony con where 200 brony's brohoof at the same time and open a portal to equestria and you in there and it turns out your twilight sparkle and you've been a pony the entire time, so you live out the rest of your life with a pet dragon and everyone else ships you with some of the most random characters of all time and so you get really annoyed and grow another pair of wings so they can focus on someone else like rarity and then you meet a nice mare named lyra who loves humans and she and you get married and grow old together and then you'll end up on your death bed and fall asleep only to wake up and find out your just a cupcake...or are you?

[DrLeperLvpinstein]

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to live inside of a vase? yes, it is very cramped, yet it can be roomy if you let it be. just ask Mr. Paradoxical Anomaly. This man is a quite a contradictory and at the same given moment, yet he was never to exist in the first place. odd? not really! because in my world... all things taste like ice cream. Now I'm goint to watch the snow storm on TV while enjoying an exquisite feast of lithium fries.

[Harv0kz]

kazookite, chummer, what is the reason of existence? Pie? Ponies? Incredibly pseudo-algorithmic generation of terms without any objective link? I'm sure it's the last one, most likely, yes. Have you ever wondered what it's like to be a bunch of digital code, I'm sure it'd be boring considering you'd only be ones and zeroes. What else... Spike is best pony? asdf for best train? Apocalyptic rainstorms are approaching, estimating a drop in trans-plastic shielding. Dunkelzahn for president.

[DrLeperLvpinstein]

I remember a time when you could buy limestone with tapioca pudding. Because you were always needing limestone for jumping in the lake and coming up to smell the radon. sometimes, when i'm bored, i like to dodge moving freight trains... by dodge i mean my car. how was your salad?

[Trilobite]

The biggest difference between these pants is a lime. From sea to blue, from we to you.

[Monochrome]

Catamastrafficalaffamasauramasaurus.

[Cinnabonbons]

I was walking to my car when I noticed my pants were on fire. I turned to my friend and said, "I think were going to need an oven and fast."

He grabbed me with his soggy fingers and said.. "Snap out of it, Man."

Then he proceeded to chant and walk in circles around me.

I looked down, My pants were still on fire, but by this time it had spread to my Uterus and three other ligaments. I was getting pretty agitated that no one seemed to care about my third degree burns, or my soon imminent death, but I went along with his plan still hoping he'd manage to save me through his voo-doo witchcraft.

After I came out of my trance from the fire I noticed that I was now in the kitchen of my grandma's house baking a cake..

I Screamed "WHAT THE FREAK?"

My Grandma ran in and slapped the freckles outta me for yelling.

Then she proceeded to say, "I swear if you yell anymore, I will slap more than just your freckles."

I was quite confused as to what was going on and what I did to deserve this true life mad lib. I just stood there in silence with a look of uttermost confusion.. and I starred at the women who had once been a kind sweet old lady, who wouldn't even kill a baby piglet, now turned into this vicious beast of a monster with veins protruding from her neck like a porcupines quills on a midsummer day.

She gasped, and then with the blink of an eye turned back into the sweet old lady I had once known.

"Would you like some cookies, dear?"

"Ummm Yes, grandma."

As she went to retrieve the cookies, I was planning my escape.. Looking around pondering what unimaginable thing would happen next if I stayed. As my grandma neared the corner with her plate of cookies, I ran to the door as fast as my burning legs would take me.

As I made my silent escape I heard grandma yell, "You forgot your cookies dear"

Little did she know I didn't give a crud about those cookies. As I ran I thought about my previous life and how this whole day had been more interesting than my whole entire life on earth had.. I began to ponder if this was karma kicking my butt for just sitting on the laptop all day roleplaying. When I decided to stop and catch my breath, I wiped the sweat from my face and looked up to see what else this new world had to offer.

Far off in the distance I could see a huge building, maybe a hotel or some sort of jail. I wasn't too sure.. but I marked that location off my list, the last thing I needed was to go to a jail and get killed by a bunch of mobsters.. I mean heck my pants were already on fire.

I decided to turn to my left and see what my next choice would be.

There were flying cantaloupes, rainbows and songs of happiness near by, I mean I was a little frightened by the flying fruit but I'll take this any day over Prison inmates.

I skipped closer and closer to the festivities and when I arrived I seen all my friends I had went to high school with there were holding hands and singing Kumbayah around the camp ice.. Yes It was a giant block of ice situated on three wood logs.. I felt much more comforted here than I did at my grandmas. I took a deep breath of relief and I thought Maybe, this day is getting better. I joined hands and with Germany and Italy and began to sing with everyone else, but as soon as I Belched out my voice changed to an annoying high pitched squeal.. Similar to ringing in your ears.

Everyone turned toward me and gave me the death stare and I knew I had screwed up once again, they all walked in slow motion towards me saying the same familiar chant I had heard earlier, before anyone could reach me I awoke in a frantic sweaty rush in my bed.. My legs were no longer on fire and I felt slightly normal again. I noticed that my mum, a preacher, and several other family members were standing around me sobbing and chanting.. I said. "What's going on?" They informed me that I had been possessed by a spirit named Robert that liked to make people crazy by making there dreams seem similar to real life, only completely insane. They told me that I had been very lucky to be through such a traumatic experience and live to tell about it, without needing to be put in a psych ward. I turned to the preacher and said.

"I think were gonna need an oven and fast."

That's when they knew I was a goner.

What did I just do with my life.

[Shinygear]

I think I might just write a rhymey thingy.

So, I was biking down a lane, I forget what it was called.

But now it is over, I'm at my friends playin' Donkey kong.

Jet pack trolling is funny, but to him it really sucks,

So every time I do it he says: "What the firetrucks!"

This makes me really annoyed, Smosh can make me

Irrate, but then he will just tell me: "You just don't know what you should hate!"

This will lead to a flame war, we boot up windows '98,

We go onto our Tumblr's and start on a new slate;

Smosh is really funny, follow if you agree! This guy is totally sharking,

You should follow me! I don't know where I'm going, with this fiction rhyme,

So pull me out, like sour crout, before I start to CRRRY!

Ta-da! Wow, I put more effort into that then I should've.

[SomariFeyWright]

I don't exactly know how to be random but I think I might go ahead and put my pants on my head and see how well the platter burns when Mount Everest is flipped into an alternate universe flying through the land of donkeys and pots/pans with the mysterious hooded men suing their lawyer as Dumbo falls through the ground pondering how a hot dog is supposed to be able to do the macarena on a pogo stick when the middle of August has two G's instead of one because Steven King smelled a sound entitiled "The composition" for no good reason whatsoever when you consider that the falling birdies and flying piggies are all part of the illusion that this world has meaning when in actuality we are all a creation of someone dropping a molecule on the greasiest plate as butterflies slammed into burning icicle ninja dinosaurs with all worlds ever looking at one another and wondering why they're so fat, eventually remembering it was because of the brilliant Doctor rotcoD who wished to destroy all sense of reality through beating candy canes with a sledge burger through a rip in space and time that causes repetition that causes repetition which results in everyone who lived dying and entering a world of limbo where the spoon kidnapped the dish as the moon beat down the cow, as they sat through the mysterious land of Batmanland and all the milkshakes didn't bring alligators to the Everglades because reality is merely an illusion of the peanut butter that flew through the troll face on it's back with no sense of pizza in its mind as a young boy with no life finished typing a random post.

... What did I just type

[ClockworkSeagull]

So... all is gathered and the moons have aligned their orbit with the nebulas (nebuli? Nebulises? meh, what care I for such trivial wordplay? I care a lot actually, for I have fooled you!) of Candor. All is perfect in its timing, as the eagle might descend upon the helpless prey that is the majestic tree stump. And yet, on the eve of mine ultimate net gain in the terms of not gaining anything at all, I find myself...

Adequate.

Adequate, in knowing that once time has passed like a golfer passes a basket ball over the net to hit a home run just to realize that the nearby porcupine stampede has ruined his beautiful hairdo. And just what a hairdo it is. But I digress, seeing as how my main point is explaining just how to get others to see what I am saying, so that what I say makes sense enough to be able to explain my sayings to others for their ability to relay my sayings into their sayings so they can get others to say what I am saying, if you know what I'm saying. If not, that's fine, for I still have the metal token of unlimited wisdom.

No wait... it was the metal token of +3 wisdom. The metal token of unlimited wisdom was lost forever between the gnashing steel teeth of the monstrous cardboard box with gnashing teeth duck taped to it. But whatever, says I, for in accordance to my grand scheme, I have developed the ultimate symbol with which to signify my status as a super-human with so much stuff to symbol with. I have created for my purposes of symbolism...

MR. ROGERS WITH SPOCK EARS!!!