Character idea feedback thread

[Blueblood]

So, I've been thinking about making a thread like this for a while, and since some others have expressed interest in the idea, here it is!

Essentially, this is a place to put ideas for characters that you haven't quite developed into a full application yet, in order to get feedback and suggestions. I wanted to make this thread, partially because most of the feedback on the actual application forum mostly has to do with whether or not the OC fits with the setting of wither WOE or CC.

My expectation is that for every character idea, you can give at least one thing you like, one suggestion on development, and one question about the character.

To start off with, here's my idea. (This is actually a CC character, but this thread can be used for any setting.)

Species: Thestral (Bat Pony)

Setting: Manehattan

Overall Concept: A kindhearted animal lover who runs a pet shop in the East Side... and is also the head of the East Side Shamleggers, the largest street gang of thugs in the city. He essentially started it as a favor to a friend who ran a dance hall that kept getting broken up by fights. He got a few friends together to keep the peace, and gradually extended the influence of his group to force out the other gangs, eventually becoming the notorious figure he is today. He still melts when a kitten purrs, though.

[Ciraxis]

He sound like a material for a pony who had good intentions, but ended as the thing he fought against. Like Ra's Al Ghul. Which also brings us to the point - if there is a villain, there need to be a hero. You must consider if this Batpony should become member of other character rouge gallery or be a threat for all good doers equally.

Also there are other villans in CC already. Does he know them? Worked with them in the past? Opposed them?

[Bellosh]

@Thestral:

• Reminds me of Batman... a Batman with a gang of his own and no dead rich parents.
  
• What sort of activities does this street gang do? How did they turn from heroes to villains? I assume they've branched out from vigilantism? Maybe they engage in criminal enterprises that help fund Prof. Razorclaws's covert espionage operations? XD
  
• Just as a head's up, you'll be better off describing the Manehattan street gang as "one of the largest" instead of "the largest"; the latter claim is really something that has to be left up to other users other than you.
  

[Blueblood]

I hadn't intended him to be an out-and-out villain, per se. He certainly doesn't think of himself as anything but a "concoined citizen what's doin' his best for the community, see?" Essentially, he's sort of the anti-Batman; a thoroughly nice guy, but not a good one. That doesn't necessarily mean he'll be a foe of any good guys in particular; he's a power that has to be dealt with in Manehattan, and not one with any respect for the law.

Much of his gang's day to day work is protection rackets, though their most lucrative work is election fraud, vote stuffing and the like in exchange for legal immunity and kickbacks. It sort of works like a corrupt police force, but with less paperwork.

As for working with Morianna... perhaps, though she might have to tread carefully in things that actually affect his home territory, so to speak.

Thanks for the feedback; I hope at some point to get a profile out. In the meantime, did you have anything for me to look over?

[Bellosh]

As for working with Morianna... perhaps, though she might have to tread carefully in things that actually affect his home territory, so to speak.

Hmmmm...... I suppose I can think more about this later. We'll see.

I might bring up an undeveloped character concept of my own later today or tomorrow. We'll see.

[Lilia]

I'm tinkering with an idea of a new character, WoE style.

Species: Pegasus

Home: Fet Loch

Concept: A filly whose family comes from a long line of shepherds. She doesn't want to be constrained to their live, though, and is seeking her talent anywhere but at her home. She has a big sister and two big brothers as well as both her parents looking out for the sheep. She is a softie when it comes to seeing the lambs born, though, so I'm thinking she'll end up staying where she is.

She currently is nameless, as is the rest of her family.

[Blueblood]

@Lillia: I like that you're planning on actually using a setting that most characters just come from; although I might add a few more interests to her personality, so it would seem more plausible that she would seek a future that didn't necessarily deal with sheep. Ideally, that interest could later be related to the birth of lambs, or what have you, to make her true special talent.

Any particular reason why she's a pegasus, and not an Earth Pony?

[Duskfall]

I had just thought this up on the way home from work.

The overall concept being that this pony would be some sort of motormouth who seems to be always yammering about nonsense all the time, sometimes in a not-so-polite fashion(not vulgarly, just jerkily). However, ponies that take the time to try to comprehend what he says and not how he's saying it would find what he says to actually be quite reasonable. Fancies himself good at singing or some other verbal talent, though really he's terrible at it. His personality takes a 180 when he doesn't have his daily morning coffee, at which point he becomes very quiet and subdued, sometimes even grim.

Probably would work as a woodworker or a lumberjack, and probably would be an Earth Pony or a Unicorn.

I have no idea where he would live.

@Lillia

What kind of influences does her family have on her? Do they know that she doesn't want to be stuck on the farm? Are they supportive of her wanting to leave, and thus willing to let her explore other venues of interest?

[Blueblood]

@ Duskfall: Is he an adult? I should think so, though it might be interesting otherwise. In any case, I have a mouthy character myself, and I know how much fun they can be, though a little exhausting to write for at times. Could you give an example of his dialogue? I think he might work better as a town carpenter than a country woodworker, since he would likely develop his motormouth selling his work or products.

[Duskfall]

[regarding a mare complaining to the police about a stolen wagon filled with various jewels and other valuables - the district/area has a particularly high crime rate]

"I'm betting that she was thinking that she could just, you know, leave a wagon full of diamonds laying around, just like you would anywhere else in Equestria. I mean, you park your unlocked carriage in Detrot or Baltimare and your stuff's going to be there guaranteed when you get back from the spa with your hooves all filed and your coat all exfoliated, right? I mean seriously, what would our friends in rags want with several thousand bits worth of gems, jewelry, and precious metals? I mean, it doesn't make any sense! Oh wait, maybe they wanted to make a pretty dress for that one Rarity chick I saw in a magazine! What do you think?"

[coworker rushes into the office blabbling about being late on an assignment in another language]

"For the love of Luna, how would you like it if I moved to Germaney and only spoke Equestrian!?"

[ ============================================== ]

Also concept art:

http://fc04.devianta...ped-d6xdlc6.jpg

[Blueblood]

He reminds me a bit of the Steve Buscemi character in Fargo.

[Duskfall]

I was thinking more of a pony who everypony who love because he sometimes says some funny things in his endless rants, but would also hate or dislike because his endless rants are. . . well, endless. I was thinking he'd be a younger pony too, like, a year or two into adulthood.

[Lilia]

Rackenhammer: Her Mom's great-great-grandfather on HER father's side was a pegasus...her whole family is Earth Pony but her...just luck of the draw? I can still get her without the wings, it makes more sense that she's not a kind of black sheep (haha). I kind of want her personality to be happy-go-lucky. She likes to sing and weave what wool they get into cloth...but she really likes being present when the lambs are born. She can't resist the sight of a new baby sheep in the slightest.

Duskfall: As far as her family goes, they are very open to a pony discovering their true talent no matter where it lies. They know she wants to leave the farm and will support her in her search. They simply ask that she stay close to home if she's ever needed in an emergency. Her siblings have always looked out for her, since she's the youngest of their lot and her parents are as laid-back as they come. The whole family works hard and makes it known that no matter what one does in life, if you work hard at it, you will never be unhappy.

I kind of roughed her out appearance-wise in GeneralZoi's v3 pony creator....I'll have a picture up ASAP.