flashdash250 Posted October 26, 2014 Report Share Posted October 26, 2014 It was my oc pony first day at school, and he was very shy because it was his first day school to make some pegasus friends, and on his first day at the school, but how is he going to makes friends on his first day at the school. how is rainbowflashdash to make some on his very first at school, and is very shy on trying to make some pegasus friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 A small tip: When you write an introduction, you might want to write as a narrator. In this case you are writing in 3rd person so it should be something like:"It was Rainbowflashdash's first day of school. He was very shy because it was his first day of school to make some pegasus friends..." etc.It would help if you also used the right punctuation in the right places.Not to be rude or anything, but i wanted to point that out so it's easier for others to understand what you write.If i may, i'll join with Eclipse. I know that our previous RP went downhill, but i have a feeling this one would be better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanvasMayHogany Posted October 27, 2014 Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 (( May i jion as Abby? she's a vampony but I can make her a normal pegasus if you like)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 Rainbowflashdash's finds a group of pegasus to try to be friends with the group. um..... hi there Rainbowflashdash's said in his shy voice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 27, 2014 (( May i jion as Abby? she's a vampony but I can make her a normal pegasus if you like)) ok you can join and yes turn Abby into pegasus please ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanvasMayHogany Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 ((okey dokey Abby is now a gray pegasus with white hair with light pink streaks))Abby looked at the pony who just said hi. "Hello, i'm Abby" She introduced Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 "I'm Eclipse" Eclipse said, standing next to Abby. "And you?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 I am Rainbowflashdash it is nice to meet you Abby and Eclipse Rainbowflashdash said with a ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanvasMayHogany Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Abby smiled at Rainbowflashdash. she spread out her wings and slowly flapped them. " Can you fly? Do you wanna race?" she asked getting so excited that she forgot that she could barely hover. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 "But you can't fly that well, Abby" Eclipse frowned. "You might get yourself hurt".It was normal for Eclipse to act aloof and cold around ponies she doesn't know. She didn't trust strangers and has a hard time trying to break that habit. She maybe cold to strangers yet she is a totally different pony to her friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Sure a race sound like fun Rainbowflashdash's said with a small smile to Abby and i hope Eclipse will watch the race and have fun Rainbowflashdash said with a grin on his face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanvasMayHogany Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Abby smiled again at Rainbowflashdash and hovered over to a cloud pillar. "We'll race from here to that pillar over there!" she said pointing to another cloud pillar about ten feet away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 "I'll watch to prevent any casualties" Eclipse replied without much expression. "Be careful Abby" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 ok Abby and let the race start ok and Eclipse you countdown from three to zero a when you say go Rainbowflashdash said with a ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 ((Do you know how to use quotation marks?("). It would be easier to see what your oc is saying))"Right" Eclipse said as she stood on the side and waited for them to line up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanvasMayHogany Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 (( Yeah that is a little confusing))Abby kneeled down the way she had seen many other older ponies do when racing. Folding her front legs, spreading her wings, putting her blank flank in the air, and putting her ears down. She was ready Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Rainbowflashdash's line's up beside Abby" ready said Rainbowflashdash" with a weak grin, on his face ^_^ and Rainbowflashdash's said to Abby" goodluck!!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 "Ready, set, GO!" Eclipse yelled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Rainbowflashdash" takeoff with a small burst of speed! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 "He's fast, but he doesn't have grace and style" Eclipse said as she continued to watch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Rainbowflashdash's does two backflip to keep the race fun and to show some of his tricks". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 "It's a race, not a stunt show" Eclipse said. "If you perform a backflip, you go back one meter and you loose momentum, allowing your opponent to catch up or overtake you". Eclipse wondered how Abby was doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flashdash250 Posted October 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 ok with a smile on his face:) said: Rainbowflashdash' s with a weird look towards Eclipse" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Eclipse liked to talk about the skills of flying. A slower Pegasus still has a chance to win a race with a fast pegasus. Eclipse wasn't a fast pony, but different tactics and skills let her overtake them.She hardened her expression as she watched Flashdash look at her strangely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanvasMayHogany Posted October 28, 2014 Report Share Posted October 28, 2014 Abby took off flapping her small wings rhythmically while also pumping them hard for extra speed. At this point she was right on Rainbowflashdash's tail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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