Affection is business (Open to all! Hearts & Hooves Day)

[Imagination]

Affection is business, and business is good.

Everypony was running about, looking to get that perfect thing for their special somepony. Ruby Pinch wanted in on this.

The business, that is. Pinchy still had a special somepony, she thought, but others might not! And even if they do, who says they can't do with a bit more happiness?

Pinchy recalled setting up a Hearts and Hooves booth once before and it was fairly successful. She was sure the merchants in the marketplace wouldn't mind. Though last time none of them came to her booth, and seemed annoyed about something. She wanted to go find out, but she was too busy! Maybe that would be something she could do! A delivery service!

Her product...?

Hugs!

Yes, hugs. It seemed like an obvious choice, given the season, but she was going to add a special twist this year!

Having tied it to herself, Pinchy pulled her wagon ALL the way from the vineyard with her shop materials! They were heavy! Some boards of wood she was sure mommy wasn't using anymore, a jar, a pillow, a tablecloth, her bear Mr. Boots (her business associate), and a cardboard box of her special twist! And a few nails and a hammer too. Pinchy was going all out this year! She was going to have an official booth and everything! Not just a box like she did last year. She got to work and nailed three boords together to make a little desk, making sure it was balanced on the ground. Then she made her sign:

"FREE HUGS! Happy s and Hooves Day!

Free box of chocolates for couples!"

She painted it at home herself! Well, her mommy helped. She didn't want to spell anything wrong or make things too sloppy. She put the sign up high at the front of the booth, supported by two more sticks. Pinchy put the pillow behind the booth for her to sit on, and the tablecloth over the booth surface. It was white with pretty flowers on it! Perfect! She put the jar on one side of the table, Mr. Boots on another, and set the box of boxes of chocolates under the booth. She couldn't have ponies stealing them, could she? Taped to the jar was a note in red crayon: 'Tips apreesh liked! Can be hugz, candy, complemints, or bits! Thanks!'

It was time to spread the love! She sat behind her expertly-made Hearts and Hooves booth and smiled brightly at everypony and everypony. She was excited to see everypony out and about today, customers or not!

((Come up to Pinchy and get a hug! Come as a couple and get chocolates! Open to any and all!))

[Elderflower]

Vela Breeze blinked back angry tears as she stomped her way through the roads of Ponyville. Her big brother Cygnus was a total jerk. He and the small crew of the Swansong were currently making their way toward Unyasi, and here she was stuck in some humdrum town, totally grounded. Literally. After years living aboard an airship, Vela had grown accustom to life in the skies. Being stuck down here felt wrong. So what if she was failing two of her classes that her brother was teaching her? She was the Dread Pirate Vela Breeze, Terror of the skies! She was going to be the biggest, baddest pirate in all Equestria some day, and she certainly didn’t need stupid homework to help her with that. Cygnus was just a...a jerk! A big, meanie jerk!

Forget the fact that he was the one their parents had trusted with raising and educating her alongside his work as a cartographer and adventurer. Forget that he and his crew had seriously altered their lives to make room for her, and that they were constantly worrying about her. All that mattered is that Cygnus was punishing her by actually grounding her and dumping her off on some friend of theirs in Ponyville while he and the stallions of the Swansong made their way to a week-long journey to Unyasi.

So here was Vela, stomping around Ponyville and doing her best not to cry, when all of a sudden something stupid popped up in the distance.

“Free hugs? Hearts and Hooves? Free chocolate?” she read aloud before stomping up to the filly running the stand. Hearts and Hooves day might have been the stupidest holiday ever, but chocolate was never stupid.

“YARRR!” Vela roared, whipping out her wooden sword with her magic and waving it in front of the berry-coloured filly, “I AM DREAD PIRATE VELA BREEZE. SURRENDER YOUR CHOCOLATE, LILY-LIBBERED LAND LUBBER! YARRRRRRR.”

[Imagination]

Pinchy waited patiently, or as patiently as she could. She was in a huggy mood today, and needed somepony to squeeze, darnit!

Just when she had about given up hope, she noticed a purple-ish unicorn filly come up to her stand! "Oh boy!" she joyously exclaimed to herself. Her mane was a pretty pink like hers, too! She liked pink.

She was just in the middle of this thought when said filly was at her stand! "Hiiii~! Happy Hearts and-" but she was suddenly cut off, startled by the appearance of a wooden sword in front of her face!

A ROBBERY!

Pinchy had never been robbed before! She didn't know how to deal with this! Should she scream for an adult? Should she try to talk it out? Should she surrender her chocolate? Should she take cover under the booth and hope she goes away? She picks up her stuffed bear, putting it behind her. "Stay behind me, Mr. Boots..." She decided she couldn't surrender her chocolate. Then there wouldn't be any for the other couples if they came! And that might make them sad! Pinchy would NOT be responsible for making anypony sad today! NO SIR! One by one, she started to notice things, and a look of fear was replaced with confusion. "Heeey... If you're a pirate, where's your crew? Every real pirate has a crew! Robbing a public stall by yourself with some many adults around is kinda silly" she pointed out , looking to the crowded marketplace full of presumably responsible adults.

"And I can't give you chocolates because it's only for couples... I don't have a lot and I don't want to disappoint anypony... But would you like a hug instead... Please...?" Her confidence was starting to fade with every word, not wanting to make this aggressive filly angry either. It was an uneasy offer, certainly. This was life or death! What if she got a splinter from that sword and it got totally infected?! How was she going to explain that to her mother? She'd never believe she was robbed by a pirate.

[ShadowWalking18]

Glimmer hopped up and down the road, her normal purple bow exchanged for a bright pink bow with a lace trim. It was Hearts and Hooves day after all, one of her favorite holidays. Her pet armadillo, Lula, supported a bright red bow, and her shell had been decorated with bright pink hearts.

Glimmer was a great lover of romance, and a holiday celebrating love was obviously good.

Plus, she got all sorts of cute cards and even chocolates at times from the boys. She loved getting stuff for free, especially chocolate.

'Hmmm, maybe I can find myself a special somepony for the day. Then I can get more stuff.' Glimmer thought with a devious grin.

Then again, if her dad or brother found it the poor colt would probably never be seen again. What was a girl to do.

It was during a turn into the market that Glimmer spotted something that made her gasp.

"A hug booth!" She gasped, noticing a small filly with a sign designating hugs. It seemed Pinkie had caused a sensation. Glimmer immediately began walking towards the booth when the unthinkable happened.

A pirate! A scurvy robbing pirate was trying to rob the poor filly!

'But why is a pirate away from the sea?' Glimmer wondered, 'No matter! Super Glimmer to the rescue!'

Glimmer set Lula onto her head, her armadillo friend becoming a sort of makeshift battle helm as she leaped into the air with a flap of her wings.

Glimmer dove quickly and landed in front of the accosted pink filly and spread her wings, placing herself between the pirate filly and her victim.

"Stop fiend, I Super Glimmer, Warrior of Love and All Things Cute, will not let you rob this spreader of joy." Glimmer said, her voice overly dramatic before going into a giggle. This was going to be so much fun.

She then took Lula off her head and held her out, "Gaze upon the mighty eyes of Lula! The Armadillo of Love and repent your evil ways."

The armadillo curled slightly into a ball, but its little head stared forward at the unicorn filly with unblinking eyes. Staring....staring....into the soul.

[Hawkeye12]

 

Crash Zone trotted along the streets with a sigh. What was the big deal with Hearts and Hooves day, anyways? Why stop all the action in life for something as silly as romance. It was just dumb to him. So he wandered the streets, looking for something to do that didn't involve hearts and roses.

Just then, a booth caught the colt's eye. It was from a distance, so he couldn't see what it was selling. Could it be selling food? Curious, Crash walked closer for a better look.

But as he was trotting up, a filly came out of seemingly nowhere with a wooden sword, threatening the filly behind the booth. Was this a crime? Injustice? Without thinking, Crash's trot broke into a run. Of course! Ponies were in trouble, and the day needed to be saved by-

"Ah!" he screamed as he tripped over a tree root, face planting on the ground. Why does this always happen to him? Crash groaned as he got up and brushed himself off. Turning back to the booth, he saw that someone else had stepped in to save the day. Wait, what? Was someone trying to steal his thunder? Not today!

Crash walked over to the scene, standing beside Glimmer. "Don't worry, I got this. I'm a professional," he said with a smirk before turning to the pirate robber. "Now, prepare to be defeated, evildoer!"

[Elderflower]

Up until this very moment, Vela Breeze had maintained a perfectly artful expression of malice and villainy. She was the perfect pirate, except those stinging tears from earlier were still threatening to spill. And when that...that...stupid filly asked the Dread Pirate where her crew was it sealed the dastardly one’s fate. Huge, hot tears spilled down her face and splashed on the ground, and Vela’s magic fizzed out. Her wooden sword dropped to the dirt with a harmless thud and bounced to the side. To her credit, she kept her expression rather calm, all things considered. Her pride would not allow her to look any weaker than she already did, and she certainly wasn’t about to get caught sobbing.

Then all of a sudden a gryphlet and a colt came rushing to the scene, both of them rushing to help out the stupid pink filly. Vela felt cornered, and couldn’t help stepping back and letting one loud sob out before regaining her composure. Well, somewhat at least. The tears were coming harder and faster now.

“I don’t need a stupid crew and I don’t need stupid homework and I definitely don’t need any stupid hugs,” she said rather crossly, her voice shaking, “I’m the Dread Pirate Vela Breeze. Don’t you know how scary a dread pirate is? I don’t need any stupid stallions who dump off the most scary pirate in the skies in stupid towns like Ponyville! I just want stupid stupid chocolate! So...so get your dumb armadillo outta my face! I just want chocolate...”

The hotheaded little pony harrumphed and stomped her forehooves once, twice, three times when she finally noticed the bear that the other filly was standing in front of protectively. Suddenly she thought of an excellent plan! She looked from the dumb colt to the stupid filly to the dumb gryphlet and for good measure she stuck up her nose in the air. Then in her meanest voice she said, “‘Sides, don’t you know teddy bears and hero stories are for babies?”

There, that would teach them who’s boss! Vela was the toughest, meanest, most pirate-ist and most grown up filly in all Equestria. She didn’t need any stinkin’ teddy bears, she had the open skies! Except...she didn’t. She was stuck in Ponyville with some crazy deer who had his antlers tangled in threads and cloths all the time and who spoke in a Stallian accent so thick even the worldly and learned Vela Breeze struggled to understand him. Ooooo this was all just so unfair!!!!

[Imagination]

Pinchy was ecstatic that not one but TWO ponies came to her rescue!

 

But no pony needed to be defeated! This was Hearts and Hooves Day! Not everything was stupid! Maybe this filly was just having a bad day... That was worth some chocolate, right? Chocolate made Pinchy feel better when she was having a bad day! She didn't have bad days very often, but still!

"Wait, everypony! Nopony needs to be defeated and nopony is evil!" Preach it Pinchy! "It's Hearts and Hooves Day! It's one of the best days of the year!"

 

She was about to go into a speech about how everypony deserves to smile and be happy and love one another... But then. She said it.

A terrible, awful thing that shouldn't even be said in hushed tones. A most sinful utterance against another living creature that can never, should never, and WILL never be forgiven! There was no redemption, no turning back...

 

Well, maybe that was an exaggeration.

 

“‘Sides, don’t you know teddy bears and hero stories are for babies?”

 

It was all Pinchy could do to stop tears from welling up in her eyes, grabbing onto Mr. Boots and holding her bear tight. "B-But... My mommy gave him to me... He's important to me..."

[ShadowWalking18]

Glimmer was a bit surprised by the sudden look of sadness that came upon the vicious pirate filly. The tears that appeared in her eyes brought a feeling of sadness in the little griffonness. Glimmer didn't want to hurt anyponys feelings, this was all just fun.

So...so get your dumb armadillo outta my face! I just want chocolate..."

Glimmer gasped and held Lula close to her chest, "Lula is not stupid. Say your sorry, you hurt her feelings."

Lula merely stared around, but Glimmer continued to pet her shell gently. Glimmer frowned, when she noticed a colt show up. The colt then stepped up to join in the defense of the filly. Though Glimmer smirked when he tried to take full control. It was kinda cute.

Glimer turned back to the pirate filly, deciding it was best to deal with her first. She didn't know why the filly was so angry, but Glimmer was going to set things straight. She intended to be calm and lady like, but when the pirate filly insulted the hug booth filly's teddy bear, that made Glimmer gasp in shock.

"What? How can you say that to her teddy bear? It's her friend, and like she said her mommy gave her it. That makes it like a precious treasure." Glimmer said, moving a bit to give the teddy bear owning filly a comforting hug.

"Don't listen to her, she's just a grumpy socks." Glimmer said gently before letting go and looking back at the pirate.

Glimmer gave her the strongest look of displeasure she could, the kind her mom usually gave to her dad or brothers when they had messed up, "Now look here, I don't know why you are in such a poor mood, but that doesn't mean you can go and insult other pony's precious treasures. What if I called your little wooden sword there silly? What sort of pirate has a wooden sword anyway?"

Glimmer flicked her tail once as she huffed, "Now you apologize to Lula and this young filly and her teddy right away." The look the little griffonness gave was a look that said she was not going to take no for an answer.

[Hawkeye12]

Crash sighed as the pink filly- the one who he was initially trying to save- started to break up the action. Dang it, it was just about to get good, too! But of course, the pirate filly just wanted chocolate, after all. Wait, what was this stand he walked up to, anyways? He turned his head to see where he actually was, and he almost facehoofed himself. Of all the places he could be, Crash had walked up to...

 

A hug booth.

 

Seriously? Hugs were not his thing. Especially on Hearts and Hooves day, which wasn't his thing either. It was just so... girly! But just as the colt was going to slowly back away like nothing happened.... well, something did happen. 

 

 

“‘Sides, don’t you know teddy bears and hero stories are for babies?”

 

Okay, of course Crash knew teddy bears were for babies (although action figures on the other hoof, were another story.) But he didn't judge that the pink filly had one. Besides, if her mom gave it to her, it had to be important! But he didn't think about that. Instead, he was focusing on the fact that.... hero stories.... oh she did not just go there!

 

He stuttered, looking for words. "Wha... uh... stories?! Who said they were stories? Superheroes exist... they're just hiding in their secret hideout, that's all! And I'm going to meet them one day, when I become one! Now apologize before I use my super strength on you!" he smiled to himself. That ought to tell her.

[Elderflower]

Vela backed up one, two steps, looking around at the ponies and gryphlet who were teaming up on her. She felt rotten. Didn’t these dumb Ponyville kids know how to play pirates? Vela Breeze was a unicorn. If she wanted to just steal the stupid chocolates she would’ve snatched them up with her magic and bolted. That wasn’t the point of being a pirate, though. Being a pirate meant she would make a showy, snarly spectacle and her victims would play their part and everypony would laugh and it would be the best fun in the world! And then they’re all join her crew and eat chocolate together! That was how it was supposed to happen. Didn’t these dumbdumbs know the rules? Aboard the Swansong, Cygnus’ crew would always gasp and cower and then laugh and hug her and muss up her hair.

But her crew wasn’t here. Her brother wasn’t here. They were all gone to Unyasi without her. Vela looked up at the pink filly’s teddybear once more and sighed. It was a gift from her mom, huh? Suddenly, the Dread Pirate felt really, really homesick. She hadn’t seen her own mama in a long time...

The imaginative little filly snapped to attention when the gryphlet spoke to her, calling her wooden sword stupid. Defensively, Vela scooped up the toy in her raspberry-coloured magic and brought it close to her chest. Her sword was not silly. Her brother made it for her. She wanted to say something to the gryphlet. She was going to say something, but she couldn’t. A huge lump was caught in her throat and it didn’t want to let her talk. There was no winning this one. She knew she had probably gone too far, but admitting it? That was impossible. She was already so sick of Ponyville.

“You can keep your dumb chocolates,” she muttered, trying hard to blink back her tears as she turned her back on them all and began to trudge away, “Who needs you anyways? You guys don’t even know how to play pirates.”

She was a good few paces away when she turned back around again and kicked at the dirt a little with her hoof, her eyes looking around awkwardly. “You are all pretty tough though...yeah...pretty tough. Even the bear and the armadillo...you’d make pretty good pirates…”

That was the closest thing to an apology that Vela Breeze could muster, and it really was quite sincere.

[Imagination]

Well, this was an unexpected turn of events. It seems her two defenders weren't going to tolerate a jab at Mr. Boots either. The bear, of course, didn't object to the pirate's words. He had such a thick skin. Ruby was proud of him. 

 

but what resulted from this second wave of defense just sort of made Pinchy feel rotten. While she appreciated it, she didn't ask for these ponies to come to her aid and say these things to Vela! And it seemed like they really hurt her! She could tell when somepony was upset. Maybe she should've just given the pirate the chocolates... After all, it wasn't like a lot of couple were probably hanging around the market on Hearts and Hooves Day...

 

But as she was absorbed with her thoughts of regret and guilt, she found out it was all just a HUGE misunderstanding! "You guys don’t even know how to play pirates."

 

Whoa, whoa! PLAYING pirates? Pinchy had no idea! It was such an impressive and convincing display that the thought never even occurred to her! "Wait, you were only playing?!" Ruby blurted out excitedly. Indeed it was as if all transgressions against her had been entirely forgotten, a big smile on the filly's face. "Gosh, you fooled me! I really really for reals thought you were a super pirate! You have to be the best actress EVER!" She was genuinely excited at this point, though now she was thinking of a way that she could gain the filly's forgiveness for Pinchy being so horribly dull. "I'm super sorry! I really had no idea! You just scared me is all... HEY!" she beamed up again, suddenly getting an idea "You can take some chocolates if you want, I guess... But... Well..." Come on Pinchy, this isn't the time to shy away. This was a professional pirate player! You have a real opportunity here! "Do you think maybe Mr. Boots and I could play with you? And these other ponies too, maybe? I want to learn how to be a super convincing pirate like you!"

 

She started getting fever dreams about looting cookies from the jar her mother always put out of reach, or making Diamond Tiara walk the plank!

 

Her booth seemed to be a distant thought for the moment. To be fair, it WAS pretty early in the morning. Maybe when she was done playing she could come back and still spread the love! That is, if this filly would let them play after being so mean to her.

[Hawkeye12]

Waaait a second. Playing? Crash groaned. He'd been tricked! How foolish! Though his moment of self stupidity was cut short as he looked at the pirate filly, and guilt surged through him. He didn't mean to make anypony feel bad! He just wanted to help!

 

Although... he couldn't help but smile a little at what the filly said after that.

 

“You are all pretty tough though...yeah...pretty tough. Even the bear and the armadillo...you’d make pretty good pirates…”

 

Because of his current obsession with super heroes, Crash had never really thought about being a pirate before. It sounded cool! Sword fights, those awesome hats... and not to mention the treasure! 

 

"Hey... you totally had me going there! You're a great pirate!" he said. That should have a good enough apology. "So, uh... can I play too?" he asked with a smile. 

[ShadowWalking18]

Glimmer felt her heart sink when she saw the look of sadness come across the pirate filly. This wasn't what she wanted to do. She didn't want to come off as mean, she had just been playing. That's what this had all been at the start, just some harmless fun.

 

Or, that's what she was hoping it had all been.

 

But then the pirate filly had said that thing about the bear, and well...well then things got out of hand.

 

Seeing the other kids had already taken the lead she quickly moved to give her apologizes as well.

 

"Hey, please don't leave. I didn't mean to call your sword stupid...I just...I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to let things get so serious. I'm really sorry."  Glimmer apologized, looking at the ground slightly.

 

"You are really good at being a pirate though. I was really convinced of you myself. If you'd be willing, I'd like to join your crew too."

[Elderflower]

The others seemed to forgive easily. How nice! But the Dread Pirate definitely had to clear up some of the confusion!

“I am a for reals pirate!” she grumped, kicking the dirt a little, “But I’m cut off from my crew and my ship...and I’m on land and you’re all kids. Pirates are tough and we’re thugs! But we don’t pick on kids. So I just...um, yeah... I wanna play with all of you! You can all be part of my crew! But first you’ll all need swords! Or, er, second!”

Vela Breeze took her sword up in her raspberry-hued magic, twirling it around in her best display of fancy “fighting” she could muster! These kids might all be stupid landlubbers, but if they wanted to play pirates then she wasn’t going to complain. Playing pirates was the closest thing to fun she could have without being aboard the Swansong, and if these dumb kids really impressed her maybe she could make ‘em honourary members of her crew!

Finally feeling her spirits pick up after her stupid stupid brother left her in Ponyville, Vela dashed her tears away roughly with her foreleg and flashed her most roguish pirate grin of all!

“So Pinky! If you’re gonna gimme those chocolates...get ‘em out! My first act as captain of this crew is to issue this command: let’s all share these chocolates!”

Eating together is important for any pirate crew. On Cygnus’ ship, he and his crew were always eating and drinking together. They shared stories and jokes and every night when they crawled back to their respective beds they all seemed to have this strong sense of friendship about them. Her brother’s crew was so loyal it almost turned her scoundrel stomach! So obviously she had to share chocolates and jokes and stories with her crew, and then they’d all be super super close! Then they could go on their first raid!

[Imagination]

She was so overjoyed that not only was she being forgiven for being so dense, but she was also going to be allowed to play with Vela, that she seemed to completely forget the chocolates were supposed to be saved for special ponies! Indeed, she opened the bigger box with all the little boxes of little chocolates in them, and emptied it on the booth counter! There were seven boxes in all! not a bad haul! If candy was booty. She'd have to ask if they really called treasure booty. 

 

It was silly.

 

After having a short, self-inflicted gigglefit, she gathered Mr. Boots and left her place from behind the counter!

Wait, Pinky? Was Pinky her Pirate name? She couldn't wait to tell Pinkie!

 

"Here's all the chocolates, Captain!" she announced, throwing up a salute fro good measure. She guessed pirates probably didn't salute each other, but hey, she was the captain! Have to show respect somehow, right? She was also just learning how to be a Pirate. Hopefully she'd have all the skills to be like a real one, all thanks to her new Captain! She also thought about what it would be like to be made an honourary member! That would be so cool! 

 

But she'd probably miss her mother. Best not to mention that, though. She could trust Mr. Boots not to rat her out.

[ShadowWalking18]

Glimmer smiled, glad to see that all was repaired and set right. She gave a salute with her wing to Vela.

 

"First Officer Glimmer Ironclaw ready to sail captain!" She said, excitement in her voice.

 

This would be fun! She would make some new friends, and they got chocolate! She purred in delight and gave a delightful chirp at the prospect of sugar sweets.

 

"All hail to Captain Vela." She declared, "After we eat the chocolates, where shall we get our swords?" 

 

Glimmer had never been a pirate before. Though her daddy always told her stories about them....hmmm would that mean she would have to fight her father if he found out? She didn't want to do that, she loved her daddy.

 

Lula the armadillo merely looked around, up at the ponies. Her little eyes staring vacantly at them all. Lula then scuttled over toward Vela and began nuzzling her little nose at the filly's leg.

 

"Aww, Lula likes you." Glimmer said, smiling at her pet.

[Hawkeye12]

Crash stood up to attention as the pirate pony announced herself as captain of this crew. Dang, he felt like such a sidekick right now. He never liked being second in command. But oh well, how else was he going to get authentic pirate-training? No matter what the circumstances, this was pretty awesome. Not to mention the fact that her first order was to eat chocolate. Best captain ever!

 

"Aye-aye!" said the colt as he took a chocolate, popping it into his mouth. "At your service! Crash the Leiu..." wait. Lieutenant didn't sound like. It was such a weird word to begin with, but was it a pirate word? "Uh, do pirates have ranks?" he asked.

 

As he continued eating chocolate, Crash couldn't help but think about the fact that they were getting swords. Real swords! Heroes never really had weapons, just powers. And the more he thought about it, the chances of some weird radioactive explosion type thing happening to give him powers was.... unlikely. So he would have to stick with being a pirate. For now anyways.

[Elderflower]

 

“Good work, Pinky,” Vela Breeze said, her eyes lighting up hungrily. She crammed a hoof-ful of chocolate into her gob, barely chewing before she swallowed ‘em. Whoa! These chocolates were pretty tasty...good job Pinky! She gave the other filly a huge, chocolatey grin of approval before grabbing another. And then she stepped back. First task in gaining her crew’s loyalty: not hogging all of the chocolate just because she’s cabin.

Instead, she returned Glimmer’s salute.

“Good to have you on board! But officers are for the fuzz, not pirates. So it’s First Mate Glimmer!”

Then...something was bumping at her leg. The pink-maned filly looked down, her cheeks turning bright scarlet. It was the armadillo. It was...it was so cute. But she couldn’t find things cute! The Dread Pirate Vela Breeze was way too tough for that…oh no! They could see her blushing! Shuffling from side to side on her hooves bashfully, Vela found her face knotting into a defensive frown.

“I-it’s not like it’s cute or anything!” she mumbled grumpily as Lula nuzzled away, “It’s just...it’s just...awwwwwwwwwww!”

Drat! Showing weakness! Thankfully the colt, Crash, interrupted the awkward moment.

“Pirates have ranks!” she responded eagerly, “Not loo...lewww...lieutenants though. You think you got the stuff to be Quartermaster?”

She stuck him with a leveling glare, just to see how he held up under scrutiny.

“As for swords...well, I’ve just got this one. My big bro made this, and he’s not here...so we’re gonna hafta get really resourceful and improvise. Real pirates are good at that! So stuff yer faces...then we’re going on a mission.”