From horribly long RP post to Fanfics. Help me ease the transition?

[Chonico]

Howdy!

I have been mauling over the idea of breaking into the fanfic writing stage. That being the case I have taken the opportunity that September has been upgraded from being simply "September" to "National Pony Writing Month" and have decided to begin. So far I have the prologue and one chapter. Well, half of one chapter but let's not get into technicalities.

I would like to ask you, my fellow brony forum dwellers, to read the prologue and tell me if its good enough to make you want to read chapter one. It is very short so you do not have to fear that it will be something as horribly long as my RP post. If you do not know what I'm talking about, simply go to my character log and click on a link. I apologize in advance.

Any who, if you are up for the task, please read and leave me all the constructive criticism that you can shove in one post and I'll gladly read it.

I will add chapter one eventually, but for now, I just want to make sure the short prologue is enough to get some people interested in clicking the "next" button.

Thank you all in advance :smile:

-Chonico-

[Chonico]

Prologue

It was a wonderful clear day in Equestria as the morning breeze gently blew through the leaves of the trees, the gentle rustling waking up some of the sleepy head birds that had not awoken with the still rising sun. With each gently passing breeze and the rustling of the leaves, an orchestra of these sleepy head birds greeted it with their cheerful song and then merrily took to the sky as the warm sun warmed their feathers and welcomed them with open arms. The trees, sad to see their little fluffy tenants depart for the day, simply waved them goodbye with the help of the gentle breeze and wished them good luck on the adventures they were sure to encounter during the day. It was not a lasting sadness though for the trees knew full well that they would return at sundown, retelling the stories of their fun filled day and eager to nuzzle up within their branches and rest for the night.

Yes, their tenants gone, each tree in turn would eventually turn their attention to the still rising sun and bask in its life giving light, a clear sign that Princess Celestia was still busy carrying out her morning duties and diligently continued to tug and pull at the sun so that all her pony subject could enjoy its warmth.

All around the still sleepy town of Ponyville, a very few ponies could be seen opening their curtains and windows to let in the refreshing light of the morning sun. A lot more of them though, simply rolled around in their beds to avoid the sunlight altogether and simply buried themselves deeper into their covers and pillows. Some of the more industrious ponies were already on the streets, getting ready to pull their carts into the town square to set up their stands for the daily market. Here and there a neighbor smiled and greeted each passing pony as they open their doors to get the morning paper to read over breakfast. A few of these ponies though, quickly facehoofed as they noticed the resident cross-eyed mailmare fly across town leaving a trail of lost mail in her wake, many of them certain that their soon to be due bills were likely among those casualties.

Yes, it was the beginning of a beautiful day in the small town of Ponyville as it slowly awoke from its slumber. And, if many of the resident ponies had not been completely and utterly lazy, and actually woke up early like the Apple family always did over at Sweet Apple Acres, they would had realized it was far beyond from the average Equestrian morning. To do this, all they simply had to do was look up at the sky and sharpen their ears as the horrible screams of a half naked creature got closer and closer to the ground as it plummeted to the earth at an alarming speed, closely followed by what seemed to be most of the contents of a bedroom.

The Apple family though, as mentioned earlier, was not as lazy as the other ponies and had awoken at the crack of dawn. Its two oldest members, aside from Granny Smith that is, were standing out on the porch taking in the full sight of what was plummeting from the sky at an alarming speed.

“What the hay do ya suppose that is Big Mac?” Applejack addressed her brother as she adjusted the brim of her Stetson hat to continue viewing the odd sight in front of them.

“I reckon I don’t rightly know sis.” Big Macintosh answered as he shifted his hay stalk from one side to the other, as if mimicking the tumbling motion of the thing falling from the sky.

“Whatever that there thing is, its screaming and it’s gonna land in the southern part of the orchard.”

“Eeyup”

Not content with his usually reply, Applejack quickly gave Big Mac’s side a jab as she jumped off the porch and motioned for him to follow.

“Come on big brother! That there thing s’gonna need some help.”

“More like scraping off the ground if ya’ll ask me…”

The glare Big Mac got from Applejack was not a pleasant one, but enough to get him moving.

[Boss_Hoss1]

Well, you definitely have my attention with what I guess is a human whos entry point was (+) several thousand feet. Oh well it could have been worse; (-) several thousand feet. "What was that ka-boom under our hooves?"

:cool: "Lets Make die Majiks!"

[Chonico]

Figured this would be easier and less space consuming and cluttering on the forum.

-Chonico-