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In AMURIKA we only have ONE breakfast side.

It was invented by George Washington after he repelled the entire British Fleet by swimming out and putting holes in their ships with his fists.

And that side is BACON.

Noooooooooooooooooooooo, not CANADIAN bacon.

That's HAM.

Ham, named bacon by you Canadians to try to make it sound as AMAZING as BACON.

But it's not. Cuz it's ham >:[

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Yeeeeeah.

Diversity! We do that too.

With the meats and the spams and the Canadian HAM.

Wanna know why?

Cuz when we place all those sub-par breakfast foods on our table... next to the bacon...

It ACCENTS just how AMAZING the bacon.

Its like, "Oh, what a wonderful breakfast, honey! What do I want to eat first? Well lets see... we have ham. No. No, I don't want ham... There's... a block of meat shaped like an iPhone... ewww, I bet that tastes just like it looks. What's that behind the orange juice? Is... is that? Could it be!? Yes... YES! YEEEESSSSSS! I HAVE FOUND THE BACON! THROW ALL THIS OTHER JUNK AWAY, HUN. I'M GONNA EAT ALLLLLLL OF THIS BACON!"

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Want a fun game to play with boyfriends/spouses?

When your boyfriend/spouse is asleep, sneak into the kitchen.

Cook up a pound of bacon.

REAL, AMURIKAN BACON.

Turn on some fans so that heavenly scent goes EVERYWHERE.

Once it's done cooking, hide all the strips of bacon around the house.

Be creative. EVERYWHERE is a potential hiding spot!

But be quick! The scent of the bacon will work it's magic fast and wake your spouse from his slumber.

After he finds the first strip, he'll quickly catch on.

Watch with joy and amusement as he scurries around the house, sniffing out the strips of bacon!

It will be the greatest day of his life and he will love you LITERALLY forever.

Also, he'll probably buy you anything you want for the next week.

And when that week is up?

RINSE AND REPEAT!

This has been Fun Fancies with Fawkes!

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that's so cruel D: that spam! that Canadian bacon! not to mention all the meat that didn't even make it to the table! where's your sausage? your meatballs?

but you know what trumps bacon? maybe even spam? fried baloney U^U yes, fried baloney could possibly reign king of all breakfast meats.

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ah, that reminds me of something unrelated :^D

they did a study on what smells turn men and women on. they found that the smell of BBQ turns women off the most, but doghnuts and licorice turn both genders on the most :^D

yay... something! X3

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._.

mm, YES >:^D that is what just happened to you. that thing you said happened and it wasn't a dream U_U

sometimes that happens to me, but only if I was friendly to the person beforehand ._.

._.

I wonder how often that happens to people who seem to really know their shtuff. people like Ginger Mint or Phil

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