Negative Friends

[weesh]

I've got some friends whose company I generally enjoy, but all four of them tend to complain quite a bit. I recently was mired in a gripe-fest with them and I excused myself and went home to get away from it.

They have refined the art of negativity quite a bit, to the point where they can complain about issues that don't exist. For example, the weather, even when it is beautiful outside. They just complain about the weather somewhere or sometime else.

Complicating things, life is actually hard for two of them, but I am doing ok.

How do you approach a friend, who has legitimate grievances with life, and ask them to stop complaining so much?

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Maybe it's not about asking them to stop complaining. Maybe you could try showing them and/or telling them about all the good things there are in life. For example, being alive! Holy crap, you live. You get to experience life, feel the wind on your face, smell the flowers and grass, hear birds and crickets chirp. You were born on an amazing planet that has so much to offer. Plus, if you're in the US, you're in like one of the richest countries in the world. Heck, the poorest hobo probably has more than any one person in a third world country.

Like... life is amazing if you just look at it. Think about all the cool stuff you get to do because you were the fastest sperm. Right from the get go, something inside of you wanted you to live, and to have a purpose. I believe everyone has a purpose in life, even if they don't know it. Regardless of that, this planet is amazing, and has so many amazing things to see, do, and offer. Whether man made or natural, there is some pretty cool shizz to discover.

So, you get to live... and sometimes it's too cold, or too hot, or too windy, or you think you're poor... but you get to feel and experience that stuff, which is more than some get the chance to do.

[weesh]

I am planning on being a bit more proactive that that.

Historically, someone will eventually find something to complain about no matter what the fun topic is. Then if you don't nip it in the bud, it develops great inertia and can't be stopped.

[Tenkan]

I've had many interesting friends in Highschool.

I had this one very close friend of mine who had a tragic childhood and continues to suffer under an abusive father, yet he does what he can to be a person in society. Aside from his inevitable misunderstandings of some things in life, he knows that he has faults and doesn't drag on about it. He's a sporty guy with a great intellect and I wish him the best.

But some people just don't do much in their lives, letting their mind get occupied by thoughts that don't matter, which could sometimes lead to worries building up and getting depressed for no reason at all.

Being proactive helps out a lot, I believe. Whether it's reading, drawing, or playing sports, it's all stuff that occupies the mind and makes you feel good for achieving something or having fun.

[Ancre]

They have refined the art of negativity quite a bit, to the point where they can complain about issues that don't exist. For example, the weather, even when it is beautiful outside. They just complain about the weather somewhere or sometime else.

Complicating things, life is actually hard for two of them, but I am doing ok.

I wonder if the two aren't linked somehow. As in, they don't really complain about the weather, but they are stressed by other things, which puts them in a grumpy mood (and then they complain about whatever is the topic of the moment, like the weather). Perhaps if they had the opportunity to vent about the difficulties they face in life (the real ones, not the weather) things would be easier and they'd be in a better mood afterwards. But I am probably reading too much into your two sentences anyways. Sorry ^-^"

[Legit101]

Well if their legitimate then I let them be, if their going overboard I just them plain, straight, blunt that their over-reacting or something.

[weesh]

I wonder if the two aren't linked somehow. As in, they don't really complain about the weather, but they are stressed by other things, which puts them in a grumpy mood (and then they complain about whatever is the topic of the moment, like the weather). Perhaps if they had the opportunity to vent about the difficulties they face in life (the real ones, not the weather) things would be easier and they'd be in a better mood afterwards.

It is possible. But I know people in harder situations that have better attitudes. "Venting" sounds like something you do to get it out of your system before getting back to your normal self rather than complaining be your normal deal. As it stands, I cannot be the go to guy for venting for anyone at this time of year. I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, and it is a challenge to stay positive without others dragging me down.

[Kite]

Call em out on it. I have friends of a similar vein, and sometimes it takes a "dude, seriously, all you do is complain" to get em to actually realise what they're doing. When you complain lots, eventually it just becomes this thing that you do by default. It's like breathing, only when you stop to think you're breathing do you realise you are. XP

[Doc Hoof MD]

The whole "Dude, seriously, all you do is complain" thing just doesn't work at first. Neither does trying to give them diabetes like what Tales is suggesting.

I have a friend that acted like that. He used to complain about EVERYTHING. He complained when we played games. He complained when we went paint balling. He complained when we went to the movies. He complained on his birthday. I eventually helped him find something to cheer him up and get excited about. He still complains, just not as much. I used to complain like him. Then I took a MLP:FiM to the life. No, but really, I complained a lot too last year. Now I am much more cheerful.

Throw a pie. Get them to laugh.