Ocean Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 Constructive criticsm very appreciated! This is the first time I've ever written a proper profile for any of my characters before. [ Pony Related Character ] Name: Temporal Ocean (Nick: Temp, Temporal or Ocean) Gender: Female Age: Young Adult Species: Unicorn Pelt Color: Aqua Blue Mane/Tail Color & Style: Gray/Dark gray, 'scruffy' at both ends Eye Color: Green Cutie Mark: - Hourglass filled with swirly water + bubbles on either side Physique: Thin, but sometimes mistaken for a guy from the back Residence: Seasaddle Bay Occupation: Explorer Motivation: She wishes to someday control the water entirely. Even more than this, she wishes to control the flow of time. Likes: The ocean, a cool breeze, exploring Equestria, watching other ponies get hit with Poison Joke, playing with smaller animals Dislikes: Crowds, being mocked, getting hit with Poison Joke, playing with other ponies (at the time) Character Summary:Temporal Ocean has always been a bit of a loner. She would spend her free time looking out at the sea, wishing she had control over when the tide came in and when it went out. She would practise with puddles of water, and toss these puddles around and manipulate them as best she could. As time passed, she began to work out how to tell the time simply by looking at how far the tide was in or out, give or take some minutes. With this knowledge, she became fascinated by time, and how the ocean worked in rhythm to it.Using her magic to it's maximum potential as she grew older, she gained the ability to predict when the tides would come in and out. Shortly after her 10th successful predication in a row, her cutie mark appeared.With her free time, she is skilled at finding rare/expensive shells that can be used for making beautiful crafts. She sometimes sells these crafts to other ponies from time to time.When her best/only friend (don't know how that is yet) left Seasaddle Bay to travel, she wished more than ever to be able to control time, so she could travel back and be with them again. Thus, her desperation to study the flow of time began. At school, she was often mocked, mainly for her dream of controlling time. She does have a temper on her when angered, and has earned the nickname 'Temper Tempor' by some of the harsher ponies.When she left school, many of the ponies, now grown up, wished to apologise for their behaviour and make friends with her, but whilst she accept the apology, she was far too nervous to be friends with anyone. Deep down, she wishes to make friends, but now has no idea how to make them. She has heard of the events behind Nightmare Moon, and how six ponies came together to save Equestria from eternal night with their friendship, and forever hopes that someday she too will feel the true friendship those ponies must have shared.Shortly after she heard the story, she decided to follow her friend, and go out to explore the world. Along the way, she hopes to finally understand the true meaning of friendship, expand her power over water, and finally control the flow of time (note: needless to say, no pony can do this that we know of, and neither can/will she).(Cutie mark missing bubbles on side - Will update soon)Image by the talented Buxy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 I like the idea behind this character. I'm not quite clear on how she discovered her cutie mark, at least in relationship to moving puddles of water. I think I understand the idea behind her, but the explanation on how she got her mark could be expanded a little bit. Perhaps, as a suggestion, she might have an affinity for knowing when the tides will be coming in/going out as part of her own special magic? Maybe give her a hobby that relates to this, perhaps, such as finding special shells that nopony else can get so easily, or helping patrol the beach for stranded seagoing creatures? I'd originally thought she might even make a great hippocampus based on what I've read here, though you do already have the art of her as a unicorn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted March 30, 2011 Report Share Posted March 30, 2011 You can put nicknames your character has underneath their real name, with a Nickname: line.I was a little worried when you said that your pony wanted to control water and time entirely, but, reading until the end, I see that she will gradually grow in her powers, and controlling time is just a dream.I'm not quite sure why she would be mocked for loving the sea...can you give a little more clarification on that?Nice looking application though. I find her fascination with the ocean and how the tides tell the flow of time is really interesting and neat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocean Posted March 31, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 Thank you both for the suggestions! They were very helpful. I updated her profile a bit - How does it look now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted March 31, 2011 Report Share Posted March 31, 2011 It looks great! Very nice application. If you feel it's done, remove the WIP from the title and Ashi can take a look at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ocean Posted April 1, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2011 Done. Thanks again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillowWisp Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Nicely done,Approved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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