Pegasus Candy Viper

[Kalpira]

Name: Candy Viper, but just call her Viper

Gender: Female

Age: Filly

Species: Pegasus

Pelt Color: Dark grey, almost black with white dots on her legs

Mane/Tail Color & Style: Mane is long, curly and extremely silky. Tail is very short and almost spiky in the end. Both mane and tail are fluorescent pink

Eye Color: Blue

Cutie Mark: Cracked skull

Physique: Slim and fit, with an authoritary look

Residence: Dragon Moutain

Occupation: Sorceress and dragon tamer

Motivation: Revenge from what her past brought to her in the present, and the belief that princess Luna still has her evil side inside of her. She knows every single pony has an evil side, and that's what keeps her going to bring it out

Likes: Dark clouds, thunderstorms, dragons, muffins (secret passion), crows and dead trees

Dislikes: The sun, princess Celestia, happy-go-lucky ponies, ponies that think they're better than her

Character Summary: Viper's heart seems to be darker than anypony else around. That's why she moved to the Dragon Moutain, every since her little inciddent... Her voice seems to come from the guts of a viper, all due to the bitterness it carries. She isn't evil or mean, she's just honest and does what she likes the most: play around with the world that surrounds her. That often involves messing around with ponies, or simply with the environment, and that's why nature-loving ponies hate her so much. But she doesn't care really. She just wants to have fun in her own way, just like everypony else. Her pinky-ish attitude only remains in her mane and tail, imply because she likes to be different from everypony. Overall, she's just a pretty in pink punk pony. She just wants to smoke her cigar and smirk at the world.

About her accident you ask? That was not too long ago. Little curious Viper went out to explore Dragon Moutain, but her explorations went a little way too far. She ended up waking up the sleepy dragon at the top of the moutain, which made him go mad with her arrogant presence and throw her against the wall. After that, she just remembers being at Ponyville's nursery, with six pieces of metal replacing the bones of her wings. From that day on, Viper returned to the Dragon Mountain to face the dragon again, but that just made her metal structures get dirtier. Who got tired of playing was the large dragon, who left that lair. Viper took that chance right away and kept the dragon's spell and potion books, and a big part of his treasure.

Now only the ones who dare adventuring into Dragon Mountain can meet her... or when lurks down to Ponyville or the Everfree forest to get some ingredients.

[Kalpira]

Oh and BTW I used one of your ponies' makers

[Skye]

So if I'm to understand, she began life as a Pegasus, but her wings were somehow taken from her, then she was given a horn by her mother (I assume a unicorn) and had that taken away as well? Could you expand on these, perhaps? I see where this character is going and think she could be quite interesting, but still needs some rough edges smoothed out. Why (And how) were her wings and later horn taken from her? If you could expand on her summary and maybe flesh her out a bit?

[Manestream]

The big snafu i see now (perhaps it can be explained away- but i'm not sure about that); is horns are something acquired at birth, and as much a part of the character as having wings. They arent something that are magically gifted. You can develop it and give it a shot, but it also runs the lines of flirting with the character being similar to an Alicorn, just never having those qualities all at once.

Like Skye said:

1) please explain the wings more, i think this is could be an interesting development

2) I don't think the horn being gifted at a later time will fly; perhaps your OC can have a pegasus father and a unicorn mother, and feel that she deserved the inheritance of a horn, but never recieved one. The issue with this, is to be a sorceress, your OC would need to have a horn (unless she is more of a potions and brew type character).

Stick with it! There is a lot of opportunity for the character to grow here; im interested to see what you come up with.

[Kalpira]

Edited ^^ That better? Added a few details and thought about her story a little bit better.

[Skye]

I'm still not so sure the suggestion of potentially having a horn and wings is necessarily a good idea...one or the other but not both, I would think. I'm sorry to have to ask this, but could you choose one over the others? I'm also not so sure having Celestia perform an act of cruelty like that is particularily in character...but you could have her lose her wings as a painful result of an accident or have her lose her horn as the result of being broken off from a similar accident or something? Magical Mother suggests having a unicorn as a mother, to me so logically she'd likely be a unicorn as well, though there's no reason she couldn't be a pegasus instead, but we've limited Alisys (Pegacorns) To Celestia and Luna, players aren't allowed to be them otherwise except for the two who have those specific characters.

[Kalpira]

Edited it uh-gain xD Sorry about all the fuss and changes, but it's pretty hot in here and I think my brain is starting to toast <.<' So feel free to warn me if there's still something you want me to change.

[RCTwilightSparkle]

um... sorry, just a point of clarification...

wouldn't a pegasus who lost their wings still fall under the title of pegasus? since I think we've established (last time I checked) that there's other things that come along with being a pegasus and not just the wings themselves

[Kalpira]

Thar ^^'

I feel so embarrassed for these many errors T^T

[Manestream]

Thar ^^'

I feel so embarrassed for these many errors T^T

We all go through it Kalpira ;}

Your actually doing just fine; thank you for working on this, I can tell your really dedicated to the character x3 After breakfast, i'll go take a peek at your changes

[Manestream]

Kalpira, you might consider this:

You've got a couple good ideas rolled up into one character, and I'm thinking its going to be hard to try to fit it all into one OC. I was thinking you could split the two initial traits between two sibling characters- have one sibling that is a Pegasus pony that has lost a wing (or both, or the use of them somehow), and one Unicorn pony that was robbed of their magic (or horn somehow). The two of them, both being bitter about losing their birthright, can follow the same path that you've laid out with your OC here- but you'd have two chars.

I think this would give you a big enough platform to work in all the details you want into each pony- and as such give them a lot of character and personality individually. Perhaps your characters will relate in their loss- perhaps they are jealous of each other, or don't get along at all, but grudgingly work together. Your Pegasus can mourn the lost ability to fly, and curse being grounded; while your unicorn can despair over failed attempts at magic, and stunted spells that don't seem to ever go correctly.

You could go into a little bit more about their parents as well- one being a pegasus pony and the mother being a unicorn as you've already pointed out. That way, each parent has 'passed on' a trait to one of the siblings.

Just a few thoughts to help you out!

[Kalpira]

Well, I might just use another idea of mine then, that is certainly easier to work with. Do you think you could delete this whole topic so that I could clear everything up.

[Manestream]

Well, I might just use another idea of mine then, that is certainly easier to work with. Do you think you could delete this whole topic so that I could clear everything up.

We clean these up once a week, how about we let it sit to see if you want to come back to it, and if you dont we'll mark it for deletion. Resting a day on something is usually a good idea!

[Kalpira]

I've edited it to make it simpler. No more parents mess or horn/wings for that matter.

[Skye]

Now that's one gutsy little filly. Pity she's got such a cynical outlook on the world. Approved.