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Jane

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Posts posted by Jane

  1. I'm guessing the locations selected are the Crystal Empire, Ponyville, Stalliongrad, Germaney and Dodge Junction.

    There will be no rationing system.

    And the focus will be on a bit of both.

    I'm still waiting for one more thing to be finalized, but at this point I'll be happy to join with Cherry Berry in Ponyville and I suppose I could come up with a reason for Bright Calcite to meet you all in the Crystal Empire.

    I did a quick search of the character logs, and it looks like you might be hard-pressed to find host ponies in Germaney. A quick search of the forums returned a handful of ponies who came from there but live elsewhere, and that's it. I do have another character who might be able to rock up there (a REA pony who was garrisoned there for a bit - could go back for a visit and show you around while he's there). Same thing goes for Cherry Berry with Dodge Junction - it was a second home to her growing up so she'd be happy to go back for a visit as well and be a host of sorts, but the little thing I'm waiting to have finalized will probably be of greater interest for you if visiting Dodge Junction. ;)

  2. Alrighty, so stuff and such has happened and I guess I'll be taking this character after all. :) Yay!

    You've come a long with Bookworm, and I'm proud of you for that. ;) I was just informed though that you still need to change the cutie mark story juuuuust a little more. The World of Equestria RP is one that tries to remain as close as possible to the canon, feel and themes of the show. I did check with some of the other staff, and they still feel like there is a little bit too much death in this application - think happy ponies!

    The concept of the cutie mark story is good - earned because she helped a friend overcome a sadness. Could you maybe try to change the sadness, though? Maybe he didn't do as well as he was hoping to on a test, or one of his best friends had to move to a different town? Both of those would garner the same sort of reaction from Bookworm while still being WoE-friendly.

    Bookworm was raised solely by her mother, due to her father’s untimely death while assisting with dealing with a hurricane off the coast. While her mother tried very hard to be there for her whenever needed. But, running a business and raising a foal is difficult for anypony. Her mother’s bookstore sales unfortunately plummeted due to the hardships of juggling the two.

    Two things here. Firstly, the bit about her father dying will need to go. One recommendation I was given was that maybe her father just isn't around much because of work - he's a guardspony, or a travelling salespony, or something else. A second option would be to simply remove the line about him getting killed altogether and simply state that Bookworm was raised by a single mother, keeping the details of her father's whereabouts as vague as possible.

    Secondly, could you maybe tone down the 'plummeting sales' thing about the bookstore? It sort of sounds like Bookworm NEEDS to be picking up extra work around Trottingham to support her mother, which again isn't very pony - Equestria is sort of Utopic, there isn't much poverty. I think this could be fixed by simply changing some of the wording. Could you try to make it sound like her mother's bookstore is struggling without actually making it sound like there's a crisis?

    Also, as RP is based heavily on social interaction, you may want to make her a liiiiittle more of an extrovert so that she won't be avoiding interaction in threads. ;)

    As I said earlier, I really like the concept for the character and I would love to see her in WoE very soon! :) If you could just make the above changes, I'll send this app to the Senior RP Staff to look over and we'll see about getting her stamped and ready for RP! :D

  3. Hiya, I'm Jane, and I'll be the helper looking after this application. :)

    There really isn't anything too objectionable here - you have a well-thought out character with an established backstory. I'm a little bit iffy about her living with her siblings instead of with her parents at such a young age - I can't actually think of any parents realistically agreeing to let their daughter move in with their brother when she's still so young. Is there a reason her parents needed to stay in Cloudsdale?

    Another thing I would like to recommend is this: could you maybe add a little bit more about how she might interact with other characters, not just her family? I would also recommend going through and reading over it for grammar and spelling mistakes (pretty sure she's gray, not dray ;) ).

    Let me know when you've made these changes, and I'll give it another look. :)

  4. iKfSVnA.png

    [colour=#800000]"I thought my home was rather dirty and all that."[/colour]

    [colour=#498995]"Oh no no no, Songbird, you should see the place my brother keeps. It's disgusting - I mean, I think he only does the dishes once a month or something because it's terrible, the way dirty dishes are all stacked up in his place. And then there's all the old comic books and novels he has strewn all over the place - I mean, really, if you haven't read it in over a week, put it back on the shelf! I love my brother, really, he's one of my most favourite ponies in all of Equestria, but I cannot stand staying with him at his place in Trottingham just because it's rather awful. Your place is Canterlot Castle by comparison."

    "Oh, and I must thank you again for opening your home to us like this. The spare room will certainly be good enough for me - I know nothing of music at all I'm afraid except that I like stuff that sounds good, so don't worry, I promise not to touch your equipment."[/colour] She fluttered into the room and deposited her saddlebags and her small valise on the small bed in the corner. [colour=#498995]"Looks like you've got quite the set-up in here! I'll just set my bags on the bed here and then we can get on with our trip then, can't we?"[/colour]

    She flew back out of the room and saw that Light had opened the door to the balcony for Flashbomb to see out. [colour=#498995]"Oh oh oh, Songbird, the view from this balcony is simply splendid! You can almost imagine yourself being a pegasus when you're up here, can't you? Oh, I love it, I just love it! I think Flashbomb is right - you've got a lovely little life made out for yourself, haven't you? Of course, it's always great when you're doing something you love for a living, isn't it? Do you play many live shows? Have I asked that already? I probably have - I can never remember what I have and haven't asked. Do you think I ask too many questions?"[/colour]

    As for Flashbomb, she thought her little pep-talk had done the trick, but she couldn't be sure. He mentioned his love of Techno music more than jazz, as their host was interested in, and Whirly could sort of understand. She didn't really stay on top of any music and didn't really know the DJ Flashbomb was referring to.

    All that same, that didn't mean she objected to music. How many nights had she spent in the pubs on Clousdale's main street looking for a great time and good music? Of course, being a city mainly concerned with aerobatics and weather making, the music scene in Cloudsdale was rather lacking - especially considering that it was really only prepared to cater for Pegasus musicians. But this was Las Pegasus! Not only was there plenty of music, but there was gambling and live entertainment and half of a clouded city to see!

    Oh, just looking out the window at the view of the city was enough to get her riled up! She almost didn't even want to bother going back to the stairs - she just wanted to fly out the window and see as much of the city as she could from above. Indeed, if Light Harmony and Foghorn could have sprouted wings and followed suit, she would have legitimately suggested it! Instead, she just spun around in the air, creating a small whirlwind on the balcony with her wings, and let out an excited squee.

    [colour=#498995]"Come on you guys, let's go explore the city!"[/colour] She exclaimed rather impatiently, ready to drag the lot of them out of the apartment if need be. [colour=#498995]"We leave tomorrow night, and I want to get as much Las Pegasus in as I possibly can!"[/colour]

    • Like 1
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    Hammer Spark kinesthinetically tugged at the collar of his formal uniform - he was utterly unused to wearing it, but such was expected of him at such a formal gathering. At least he wasn't the only one - many of his comrades seemed to be doing the same. Ugh - he would take gold-plated armor over stiff, starched and itchy fabric any day of the week.

    Or maybe he was just nervous. He decided that was probably more likely. How long had it been since he'd seen her? Several years, by his estimation, and as exciting as these past years have been, he was anxious to see her again. He scanned the crowds coming in, knowing that the one he sought would stand out among the throngs of ponies on account of there being one major distinction: She was a dragon.

    He hoped there wouldn't be any objections from the higher ups to him inviting his adopted sister. After all, family was welcome, and the sergeant was used to arguing on Sierra's behalf - he'd been doing so since he was a colt in cadets, after all.

    He'd sent her the invitation weeks ago - she lived a rather nomadic life, but the two of them communicated using magic. Indeed, although it had been years since they'd seen one another face to face, the two of them kept in touch rather religiously via correspondence. And learning that he would be seeing his sister at an event so illustrious as the Army Ball was both exciting and nerve-wracking. What would his superiors think of him dancing with a dragon?

    Well, he'd decided, Sierra had been no secret. Eventually his comrades asked if there was a mare he was writing to so faithfully, and he had told them the truth (and endured several weeks of being mockingly called Dragon-boy as a result). If his bringing a small dragon to such an event as this would pose any problems with the officers, he would deal with the problems civilly and respectfully as they came along. But tonight was meant to be a special night for the soldiers to enjoy themselves and spend time with their families. And Sierra was family, nopony would dare argue with him over that. Mares came and went, but the dragon was as steady a friend and sister as any stallion could ask for.

    Finally, he caught sight of her in the courtyard - the scaly, reptilian head rising above the heads of the other ponies. She had grown some in the years since he'd last seen her, but was still small for a dragon. Of course, Hammer Spark knew better than anypony that what she lacked in size she made up for in strength, courage and wit. Oh, how good it was to see her again! A wave of emotions rushed over him and very nearly swept him away - it took all his carefully-disciplined self-restraint not to gallop across the foyer. Instead, he trotted as quickly as was socially acceptable under the circumstances, giving quick polite nods to the ponies he passed as he went and saluting to those he recognized as higher-ranking officers in the army.

    [colour=#7f0000]"Sierra!"[/colour] he called out when he reached the courtyard, though there were still several bodies between the two of them. [colour=#7f0000]"Sierra, my sister! At long last, you're here!"[/colour]

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    Stormwing never meant to be late. It just sort of happened. One morning he would sleep through the alarm, the next he couldn't find where he'd written down the weather schedule. The following day, he would pour himself a bowl of oats only to discover the milk had gone sour, so he would have to rush to the corner shop to buy more. On this particular morning, the weather had been, well, not quite cancelled, but the team leader insisted he would take care of the simple, party-cloudy sunny day himself so that the Trottingham weather crew could help take care of the crisis in Cloudsdale.

    He'd heard about the crisis, of course - perhaps even sooner than many, since his mother was one of the first to go down and was still, as far as he knew, recovering from the dreaded feather flu. And he was eager to do his part to help out, even though he'd tried and hated working at the factory.

    Everything was set for him to be on time. The milk was fresh, the alarm was set, there was no weather schedule to worry about. But at the last minute, before he was about to leave, Stormwing remembered that he had an old hardhat from his factory days in the closet. Oh, and Vanilla Latte had given him some croissants yesterday for him to share with Whirligig and his mother. Where had he put those?

    Next thing he knew, fifteen minutes after he was meant to leave for Cloudsdale, he was still rummaging through the clutter in his closet looking for the stupid white helmet that he knew must be in there.

    [colour=#00333E]"Oh, forget it!"[/colour] he announced aloud, realizing that there would be spares there he could use. He grabbed the brown paper bag between his teeth, stretched his wings, and set off as quickly as he could over the rooftops of Trottingham, over the Great Nimbusgait Lakes, and towards the shining city of his childhood to assist with the crisis.

    It wasn't a long flight, and so within an hour Stormwing came crashing into the weather factory, his wild red mane mussed and windswept, and the brown paper bag filled with Latte's croissants for mother was ripped in three places. He was a bit exhausted, having tried to fly faster to make up for lost time, and not terribly excited to start factory work in his present condition.

    He stumbled into the main area of the factory where he saw some of his team from Trottingham glaring at him. Breezyblue especially looked rather annoyed his tardy arrival - but his cousin was always annoyed with Stormwing. He also saw that Princess Luna was addressing the group in a loud and authoritative voice. Oh sweet Celestia, he hoped she wouldn't notice him slipping into the back of the group. He had no idea what was going on - something about her never having seen anything more capable of great feats of strength than a pony. Good good, all he was missing was the obligatory pep talk. He made sure to cheer extra loud at the end of the Princess' speech.

    Oh no, now he had Whirligig's attention - the cornflower blue pegasus turned around at the sound of his voice - and gave him a rather condescending look. Stormwing sometimes wished that he couldn't communicate with his sister using facial expressions alone - maybe then he would have been able to pretend that he didn't know she was trying to tell him that he was an idiot and how dare he be late for something like this when Equestria needed him. And also, in his rush to get here on time, he'd forgotten to don one of the Factory Uniforms. It figured, considering trying to find his old uniform was the reason for his tardiness. Sheepishly he snuck out of the crowd, brutally aware of his bright red, unhelmeted mane sticking out like a sore hoof.

    He returned to the room full of eager pegasi in the proper attire this time, and plastered a smile on his face. He was used to rocky starts to mornings - unfortunately they were far too common an occurrence in Stormwing's life and he was used to laughing them off and getting on with his day. Putting the morning's events behind him and avoiding a certain pair of green eyes that looked exactly like his own, he focussed his attention on the purple mare who seemed to be in charge of the operation and awaited further instructions.

  7. Request for re-opening of this application for a profile edit

    Greetings Canterlot! I was wondering if I can re-open this application for a couple quick changes/additions in her personality as well as likes and dislikes.

    I will give you the details if re-opening is permitted.

    Thank you!

    psst! Use the report button on the first post if you want to move this back into applications for revision. ;)
    • Like 1
  8. iKfSVnA.png

    [colour=#498995]"Bye Snickerdoodle - see you later!"[/colour] Whirligig called as she watched the mare head towards the Rainbow section.

    Whirligig rubbed her hoof against her temple to try to clear her head, and suppressed yet another cough, but it wasn't really working. She wasn't sick - she couldn't get sick. Not when the factory needed her.

    Whirligig realized she probably didn't really need to be around for the orientation either - vaporization may not be her main department, but she'd been working in there for a few weeks now and didn't need to go through the same training again. But she wanted to get to know some of the volunteers she'd be working with.

    So many ponies from all over Equestria seemed to be gathering in the factory today - plenty of volunteers, and even Princess Luna herself, but there were so few of the regular factory workers present that Whirly was starting to worry. She was also worried because Stormwing had yet to make an appearance, though she did recognize a few of the other ponies from the Trottingham weather team. Now Whirligig was starting to get anxious. No, anxious wasn't the right word - Stormwing would turn up, probably midway through Princess Luna's motivational speech or something just to be extra-rude. Annoyed was a better word. Even when things were important he could never seem to make much of an effort. She exchanged irritated glances with one of Stormwing's local teammates and realized that she only had to put up with his tardiness every once in a while. They had to put up with him every day.

    She tried to put her irresponsible brother to the back of her mind and turned her attention to Sugar Apple, who was giving out more instructions to the rest of the volunteers. Eventually, the purple mare paused and asked for questions from the crowd. Whirligig had one - actually, she had several, in usual Whirligig fashion, but she decided to limit herself to just one.

    [colour=#498995]"Oh, I have a question, Apple-bird, ma'am! Are you in charge of all the volunteers? Cause if you are, then who's gonna be in charge of vaporization? That usually -"[/colour] she stopped, realizing that talking a lot made her want to cough. Covering her mouth with her hoof, she tried not to draw too much attention to her present state, but since all eyes were already on her, she failed at that rather miserably. With a few feeble wheezes, she finished her sentence [colour=#498995]"That's usually your job."[/colour]

    She hoped against hope that they wouldn’t try to send her home now. Surely, if she was here she could work, and they needed ponies who could work. Maybe she could wear a mask - one of those masks doctor ponies wore so as not to get their germs on other ponies. She would look rather silly, of course, but she wouldn't mind too terribly if it meant she still got to help out. She shifted her hooves beneath her anxiously, hoping nopony would say anything about her small relapse. She would be fine, she knew she would be fine. She just had to think positive - think positive, yeah?

  9. b9oYuah.png

    Banner Credit: http://fav.me/d5c7kxo

    This was too good to be true! The age spell had worked! Hmm, probably wasn't wise of her to cast the spell without doing a bit more research into it first. She wondered how the spell had effected the minds of the two infants. Were they themselves, but smaller? Or had they lost their memories of foalhood and adulthood, too? Hmm, she had better have a closer look at this - but they were so cute just sitting there like that.

    Then the griffon reached up and grabbed hold of Care Package's ear in his sharp claw. Twilight winced, expecting the pegasus foal to let out a cry of pain. Instead, the foal batted at the griffon with his hoof until the griffon let go, then looked up at Twilight with big, blue eyes. The alicorn princess nearly melted as she stared into them.

    [colour=#002b54]"Oh, did that mean old griffon hurt you? That wasn't very nice, Razor. You should be nice to other foals."[/colour] she said. She clapped her hooves together joyously. Oh, this would be such a fun way to spend the stormy afternoon. She could foalsit for a bit, then when the storm ended and it was time for them to leave, she could turn them back to normal, take a few notes on what they remembered about the experience, and send them on their way! Sure, the ethics behind the whole thing were shoddy at best, but they had consented, right? She should be fine!

    Her horn glowed momentarily as she conjured up some baby toys; a blanky or two, some blocks and rattles and a teddy bear. Oh, this would surely be a fun way to spend an afternoon - just like helping with the cake twins, but different.

    She looked around the library for some children's books. She was sure she had some fun stories with bright pictures, or a board book or two to share with the little ones. She found a simple one about ponies of all sorts of different colours and smiled.

    [colour=#002b54]"How would you two like it if I read you a story?"[/colour] she asked.

  10. iKfSVnA.pngDZTuGxV.png

    The capital city of Equestria leans into a rocky mountainside, from which the city can see and be seen all over the land of Equestria. How many times had Whirligig sat on the edge of the city of Cloudsdale and gazed out at the view below and seen, looming in the distance, the towers and spires of Celestia's city? She had only visited the capital a few times, and each time she had been fascinated by the high classism and fashion present in the city - it was fun to visit, but she couldn't imagine why some of her friends from Cloudsdale had chosen to attend school in Canterlot.

    All the same, the city still carried itself with an air of being a place where, potentially, dreams could be made and come true. As she and her brother arrived at the city early in the morning, she couldn't help but feel a buzz of excitement that came whenever she travelled throughout Equestria. Of course, as she often poked fun at the city for being big a snooty, she tried not to let on that she was excited to be here. Her brother, however, read her like a book.

    [colour=#498995]"So Stormwing, remind me why I bothered to come to Canterlot with you?" [/colour]

    Stormwing raised an eyebrow. They'd had this conversation before; she just wanted to tease him again no doubt. With an exasperated sigh he told her [colour=#00333E]"because my marefriend couldn't come." [/colour]

    Whirligig smiled, jabbing her brother in the rib.

    [colour=#498995]"And why not?" [/colour]

    [colour=#00333E]"Because I don't have one." [/colour]

    Whirligig's playfully taunting laugh rang out through the empty cobblestone streets. Little sisters – sometimes, no matter how kind you were to them, they could be so very cruel. Stormwing, who had never been a very good actor, tried to look hurt, but this only made his sister laugh harder.

    [colour=#498995]"Oh Ducky, don't worry - I'm sure you'll find a mare at this ball you keep going on about. Speaking of which, we need proper ballroom attire now, don't we."[/colour]

    Whirligig suddenly became solemn. The ball actually made her nervous - she was a factory worker and a bit of a nerd - the idea of a grand and fanciful social gathering caused butterflies to form in her stomach. Oh sure she'd be attending with her brother, her most favourite Stallion in all of Equestria, but she was still a little anxious about it. He'd told her to bring her most fanciful dancing dress, only for her to discover that the one worn to her senior prom was not only a bit outdated, but it didn't fit her very well and had a few irreparable stains and rips - apparently the evening had been a little bit wilder than she's remembered.

    Whirligig was about to decline her brother's invitation on account of not having a suitable dress to wear, but Stormwing instead promised his little sister that he would buy a dress for her once they arrived at the city. He figured if he didn't have a marefriend to blow his bits on, Whirly-bird would make a suitable substitute. He didn't spend nearly as much time with his sister as he would like on account of her remaining in Cloudsdale while he took up residence in Trottingham. He had also always felt like he had to be the one to look out for her - it wasn't like there was another stallion in her life who would.

    [colour=#00333E]"Proper ballroom attire certainly is a must. I'm sure we'll find a boutique around here with a style that's well within our price range, Whirly-bird. What sort of dress are you thinking of?"[/colour]

    [colour=#498995]"Oh, nothing overly fanciful - you know me, nothing too frilly and froufrou. Do you suppose we'll be able to find a dress that will suit me by tomorrow night? Oh, I so hope we do - it would be terrible if we didn't. Imagine it, ducky - coming all this way and not even finding something appropriate to wear to the ball, even after all our traveling. It would be devastating is what it would be." [/colour]

    Stormwing tried not to laugh. He actually had no idea how difficult it would be at all to find a boutique with dresses that his sister would like - shopping had never really been his thing, and he really had no idea how much effort in entailed. Mum usually took Whirligig shopping for dresses, not him. As they continued wandering down the early-morning streets of Canterlot, Whirligig continued chattering away about what sort of dress she might need while Stormwing admired the technique that had gone into the construction of such a glorious morning.

    He'd been offered a job with Canterlot's weather crew when he finished school, but ultimately chose Trottingham so that he could keep a closer eye on his family. He had to admit, the Canterlot ponies had some technique, though Stormwing couldn't help but think the air was a bit too still - perhaps a light breeze would make the morning a bit more pleasant, and a few more soft fluffy clouds in the sky above certainly wouldn't hurt. He would have put one over there, above that library, and another over there behind the rows of shops. What was that in one of those store windows anyways?

    [colour=#00333E]"Look, Whirly-bird, a grand-opening in that shop over there. Let's go check it out - it looks like an interesting little store.”[/colour]

    Whirly, still chattering away, at first made no indication that she'd heard Stormwing's suggestion. Eventually, however, the cornflower blue pegasus began moving towards the shop and went right in, as usual her hooves never once touching the ground.

    [colour=#498995]"Oh, Ducky, this shop is adorable! It's so very quaint and country - it looks just like a little frontier town. And such beautiful dresses! I love that hat, oh, and the silky shine on that one is beautiful! I wonder if I might be able to find my dress here! Oh, wouldn't that just be perfect? If the first shop we visit has the perfect dress?"[/colour]

    The stallion felt more out place than ever in the little frilly shop, though he would admit the décor was rather charming. He pointed out one dress that he thought might look 'nice' - only to be shot down in an instant by his sister.

    [colour=#498995]"Don't be ridiculous, Stormwing - that pink with this mane? No, I need a different colour - maybe a gentle green to bring out my eyes, or a soft yellow to accentuate the streaks in my hair. I mean, anypony who knows anything about fashion knows that the dress needs to suit the pony's personality and of course look good with their colouring. Just step aside you silly stallion and let me look through the dresses.”[/colour]

    Stormwing wanted to make a comment about sexism, but the truth of the matter was that he knew nothing about fashion. In fact, he was surprised to discover that Whirly-bird knew as much as she did. He shrugged, supposing it was simply a mare's area of interest more than it was a stallion's. She continued sweeping around the shop in her usual fashion - never standing still for a moment, with her wings fluttering away. There were only a few years separating the siblings age-wise, but sometimes Stormwing felt so much older than Whirligig, this occasion being no exception.

    He turned apologetically to the shopkeeper and immediately regretted not paying her any attention before. The raspberry mare was a beauty to behold - a true southern belle if he ever did see one, and suddenly the rustic décor of the boutique made absolute perfect sense. He suddenly had a though that maybe, just maybe he should take up this 'shopping' thing that mares seemed to value so much as a more permanent pastime.

    [colour=#00333E]"Sorry about my sister,"[/colour] he said, careful to enunciate the word 'sister' as clearly as he could, just in case the eyes and mane-colour didn't give enough of an indication about the relationship. [colour=#00333E]"This is a nice little store you have here and she has the tendency to get a little bit over-excited. You’ve clearly put a lot of work into the place – I hope a little beauty such as yourself had some good strong hooves around to help you with setting it up." [/colour]

    Whirligig shot him a look that plainly said [colour=#498995]"Don't make a fool of yourself,"[/colour] but thankfully kept her mouth shut on the issue, and instead began chattering away in her usual fashion about the topic of the hour: dresses.

    [colour=#498995]"Stormwing is right - your boutique is absolutely lovely-dovely. It's so very quaint, such a breath of fresh air when compared to the rest of Canterlot, I think. Would you could you maybe help me find a nice dress to wear at a ball tomorrow night, miss? I would need something of course that suits my colouring, and something elegant and classy without being snooty and frilly. Maybe something like that one there, but not such a full skirt, and ruffles more like the ones on this one here? Or, actually, whatever you think might work would be wonderful, too - you're clearly a fashionista of excellent taste wheras I am but a humble factory worker from Cloudsdale. Also, money isn't a problem since my brother here is taking care of the bill."[/colour] She winked at Stormwing, who gave his sister another playful scowl the moment the earth pony had her back turned.

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