Unicorn Gladius Vigil (Final)

[Valencetiger]

Role-play Type: World of Equestria

Name: Gladius Vigil

Sex: Male

Age: Elder Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye Color: Red

Coat Color: Tan/Light Brown

Mane/Tail: Blonde with black stripes, cut short for efficiency and a professional look.

Physique: Tall and well-muscled, if a bit weathered from years of working as a guardstallion.

Cutie Mark: A shield with a sword sheaved behind it. It appeared when he protected a small group of foals from Ponyville who had strayed into the Everfree Forest, and represents his ability as a protector and guardian.

Origin/Residence: Born and raised in Ponyville, he later moved to Canterlot and joined the Royal Equestrian Army. However, after his retirement he began to move about Equestria as an adventurer, to find a way to fill the missing

Occupation: Hired Guard/Retired REA

Motivation: To enjoy life to the fullest, to explore the world in a way that benefits not only himself, but others as well. Also, he wishes to find the mare that is right for him, though he has had minimal success so far (Due to the fact that he is always moving around).

Likes: Telling jokes, story-telling, pretty mares, adventuring.

Dislikes: Remaining in one place for a long time, being scolded, and criminals.

Weaknesses: Doesn't listen well, magic works only when in danger, often takes jokes a bit too far, and is not quite aware of what younger ponies like these days.

Character Summary:

Personality: Witty, charming, and courageous. He was known to be a big flirt during his days in the REA, and still is today. Often cautious, he never goes into a situation that he can't get out of, and tries to prevent others from doing so as well. Due to his years in the REA, he has grown an instinct to protect those who cannot protect themselves, and is often seen in the presence of trade caravans or adventuring parties as a guard. One distinct weakness he has is being able to follow a command. Always a leader and never a follower in his eyes, he often did things the way he wanted to do them. This ended up drilled out of him when he later joined the REA, but it still holds on to him tightly to this day, reemerging when he had obtained positions as an officer. He spends his time in the cities he comes across, enjoying himself by meeting new mares and taking a part of festivities or events.

Family: Born into a family of bankers and merchants, he lived a comfortable life with his parents and two sisters. His parents, despite their somewhat boring jobs (or perhaps because of them), supported him and his sisters in what they wanted to do for a future career, often helping them reach their goals and aiding in their success. Being in a caring, loving environment made Gladius the pony he is today.

Background Story: Gladius was always a sweet, caring pony, even as a young foal. A friend to every pony he met and usually the attention of the fillies in school, he stood up against the occasional bullies, and helped anyone who asked it of him (and sometimes without being asked). Growing up, he was very protective of his two little twin sisters, and usually only got angry when somepony was making fun of them or won't leave them alone. He wasn't the brightest of students, and never got substantially high grades, but he did well enough to pass. One day on his way home from school with his sisters, he had overheard that a few young foals had sneaked out and got lost in the Everfree Forest. Hearing this, he rushed off into the dark forest, despite the calls for him to return by his sisters and older ponies.

For hours, he searched the creepy woods for the missing foals, until he found them captured and placed in cages by a group of Diamond Dogs, who were hoping to use them as ransom to collect jewels from the ponies of nearby Ponyville. Angered at hearing this, he charged into the camp and stood up against the dangerous Diamond Dogs. Shocked more by the fact that a small colt had come instead of a whole group of ponies, the kidnappers' expressions grew even more greedy at the thought of getting more money from having this pony in their possession as well. Despite the fact that he had never before fought against anything in his life, Gladius put up a surprising difficult fight for the Diamond Dogs, who were uncoordinated and clumsy. Fueled by his anger and the cries of the young foals, he went into a frenzy of kicks and headbutts, beating up a couple of the Dogs and frightening the others away. As he watched the remaining Diamond Dogs run away, he regained his composure and got to work freeing the small foals from their cages, and heading back to Ponyville.

On his return with the foals, he was swept up by the ponies around him, who thanked him and congratulated him. His parents, worried sick, embraced him in a loving hug, afraid they might have lost their only son in the Everfree Forest. With a gasp, one of his sisters pointed out that a Cutie Mark had appeared on his flank, a sword and shield. Upon seeing this, Gladius felt a burst of pride and joy, for he finally knew what he was meant to do in life! Ever since that day, he trained his combat skills so that he could join the Royal Equestrian Army, and help protect the all the ponies of Equestria. Throughout his home-made training, he lacked some skills when it came to royal etiquette, listening to orders, and simply doing as he was told, often believing his way was right.

Years later, having grown into a handsome stallion and fighter, he said goodbye to all his friends and family in Ponyville, heading off to Canterlot to join the REA. When he arrived, he was filled to the brim with excitement and suspense. Would they accept him...? Would he get to meet Princess Celestia herself...? Many questions swam in his mind, and he grew more and more nervous with each step towards the recruitment station in the city. Upon signing up, he was taken to the nearest barracks and began his training. During the training, he had exceptional difficulty with the standard spears and, for some reason, he could not use any magic unless he or another pony was in danger, and even then that magic was defensively based. So, he hired a blacksmith in Canterlot to craft him a special weapon, one that he knew would be perfect for him. The weapon was a sun-spiral shield, similar to Princess Celestia's emblem, where the crests of fire acted for sharp blades. Using this, he changed his fighting style and in a matter of months, he became a novice soldier. During his time in the REA, Gladius was the happiest he had ever been in his life, for his dream was finally being realized. For several years afterward, he served Equestria as one of REA's leading soldiers, admired for his courage and selflessness and often putting himself in danger's way to save any pony he could, even when chances of them making it out were slim. After serving for many years, he retired from the REA and began a quiet life in the countryside outside of Ponyville.

Despite his many years serving in the REA, he still felt that he could do more with his life. Spending many days and nights trying to find a way to fill the empty void in his heart, he was hit with a realization. He was someone who needed action, thrills, adventure. Perhaps that is what he needed to do...to go on a quest of his own to find what his heart needed, and maybe...just maybe...find the mare of his dreams. In order to make money on the side, he works as a hired guard for roaming trade caravans or adventurers in need of protection when exploring dangerous areas of Equestria. Without a doubt, this wasn't going to be easy. But then again...when was anything in his life as easy as he had hoped?

[Lux]

Hello!

You're friendly neighborhood Helpstaff, Lux, here.

You have a very interesting character there being a retired military turned mercenary. The part on getting his cutie mark was neat too.

Now, I see two little changes that need to be addressed.

First of all, it's called the REA (Royal Equestrian Army), so you'll just need to rearrange the letters a little.

Also, unfortunately you can't have your pony receive medals from Princess Celestia. The rule is: "No previous relationships with ANY Cast Character for ANY reason. This can be worked out and established in Roleplay later, but it is NOT to be in any Applications. You will be asked to change or remove this."

So, you can still say he received medals, just not from Celestia.

You're one your way to playing a fun character!

[Valencetiger]

Oh, alrighty then! That isn't much to change. Thank you very much

It has been edited!

[Lux]

Wow, Speedy. Great!

[Valencetiger]

Yep I'm on these forums a lot! Would have been faster, but I was in a match of League of Legends.

[RarityDash]

Your app is mostly fine, and fairly close to where I would feel safe stamping it, but parts of it do make me kind of raise an eyebrow.

The character seems to coast through life and excel at everything he ever does. You go in the app straight from him being a novice REA soldier to him being one of the most skilled in Equestria, acquiring medals, ranks and prestige. Then afterward in his mercenary stage he quickly finds great fame again. From what is described he is consistently showered with honors and success without ever failing at what he does. We tend to prefer characters who are more balanced here. A character who is so excellent at everything he does is generally not as interesting to play with or read about as a more realistic one who has faced challenges and had to overcome struggles.

I would urge you to fine tune this app a little to make things a bit more reasonable. As it is now, I don't think this character is a good fit for the World of Equestria RP.

[Rosewind]

I'm with Phil here. I know how our rules and standards can be quite frustrating (Diamond Wings is still fresh in my mind), so let me clarify what, exactly, we're looking for in a Mane RP character:

1. Would we readily see this character on a real episode of FiM?

2. Does it respect the canon of the show?

3. Is this character realistically fun to play with? As Phil pointed out, this character excelled at everything and failed at nothing -- a hallmark of "marysueism".

4. On the flip side of number 3, characters that do nothing but suffer mentally or physically aren't terribly interesting, either.

The key is finding balance. What makes your character fun, interesting, unique, and fun to play with -- without falling on common character crutch stereotypes? My apologies if I'm coming off rather blunt here. My goal is to help you have a fun time, but I think it's important you understand what, exactly, you're getting into here -- one of the reasons we require an application for this game. I suggest looking through the accepted applications area and taking a peek at some of the work others have done. You may get some ideas of what to include -- or not to include -- when designing your characters for play here.

If you have any further questions, feel free to contact Phil or myself. We'd be more than happy to help you out.

[Valencetiger]

Okay, I've taken both of your words into consideration. I guess I was too busy imagining him actually becoming skilled over a period of years, which was my intention, without putting the details in exactly how he became good, and what things he did that made him an icon. As for his quick rise to fame as a mercenary, I also didn't think much in this regard, also thinking that simply his previous reputation had basically sold him as a mercenary, and his actions only proved the reputation to be correct. I'll agree that he very much looks like he has never failed at anything, but this isn't so. Since you guys have asked for it, I shall come up with some more details, directed at how he had gotten to those points of fame and what held him back.

Thank you for the input I'll try to fix this up ASAP.

[starswirlthebearded]

I normally don't chime in on apps because I'm not a role player. However, when I was younger I did do some creative writing, and have to agree with Phil and Rosie here. The way you wrote it make it seem like he never failed and didn't face hardship.

In addition, in military, people don't get awarded medals like that, because excellence is expected. It is what they were trained to do. Medals are awarded when servicemen and women achieve greatness in the face of adversity or above and beyond the normal call of duty. Take the most decorated soldier in the history of the US military, Audie Murphy. He was a small, scrawny soldier in ww2. He was basically given every medal multiple times because he never gave up, even when sick, and achieved great things because of sheer determination and will. Read a synopsis of his story, it's really something.

Just to note, decoration is easier to achieve than medals of honor. (Decoration are the things above the name, medals go under)

[Rosewind]

Okay, I've taken both of your words into consideration. I guess I was too busy imagining him actually becoming skilled over a period of years, which was my intention, without putting the details in exactly how he became good, and what things he did that made him an icon. As for his quick rise to fame as a mercenary, I also didn't think much in this regard, also thinking that simply his previous reputation had basically sold him as a mercenary, and his actions only proved the reputation to be correct. I'll agree that he very much looks like he has never failed at anything, but this isn't so. Since you guys have asked for it, I shall come up with some more details, directed at how he had gotten to those points of fame and what held him back.

Thank you for the input I'll try to fix this up ASAP.

It looks like you're on the right track! I really must urge you re-think the idea that this character should be a well-known icon. Two big reasons? It makes your character sound pretentious, and nopony will really know who he is, based on a common "understanding of role." Unless you actually roleplay this character -- with other characters -- and achieve that status, you won't possess it out of the gate because none of the other characters in the game would logically know your character and all of his deeds without meeting him first. Make sense?

(Oh my Celestia...Swirly replied to an app! This is getting serious!)

[Valencetiger]

Edited: Placed a Weaknesses area in the OC, and clarified how exactly he improved in his abilities and how long it had taken him. Removed him earning medals and his prestige.

(To be honest, I was seriously thinking about making this guy a ponified version of Captain America when I made him! XD Captain Equestria! But I decided against that, because it would have been weird.)

[Lux]

That would be an interesting pony though.

But thanks for being prompt again on your alterations.

[Valencetiger]

That would be an interesting pony though.

But thanks for being prompt again on your alterations.

No problem

[Lux]

Ok. One last thing. You might want to consider something other than mercenary as his new occupation. Equestria doesn't have roving mercenaries around since there's the REA. You may want to try something like Gladius being a teacher to ponies wanting to be soldiers or maybe an auxillary of the REA (like a town guard).

You're almost there. Just a little change is needed.

[Valencetiger]

Well, I assumed that a mercenary would be part of the canon. Perhaps I'm using the wrong term...would hired guard be better? Because, I mean, the REA can't be there for everypony can they? Surely adventurers or explorers would pay for protection if they were going somewhere especially dangerous. (Like the Everfree Forest, for ex.)

[Valencetiger]

Okay, I don't think a mercenary will be much of an issue, considering that mercenary ponies have been accepted before.

http://www.canterlot.com/topic/4172-martel-van-starkhuf-final/page__hl__mercenary

[Lux]

Yes well the thing is that over the time mercenary ponies have become a little cliche, so rather that doing what other ponies are, perhaps trying something different can really make your pony stand out!

[Valencetiger]

Well...I'm not sure what would work for Gladius if there are any suggestions for an occupation that would suit him, I'd be glad to hear it...because I'm stumped right now

[RarityDash]

I think it's fine at this point. Looks like a solid app... so:

[Valencetiger]

YES! Thank you so much! I won't let you guys down! ^^