Frost137 Posted December 24, 2012 Report Share Posted December 24, 2012 Roleplay Type: World of EquestraName: Spin ArtGender: FemaleAge: Young mareSpecies: PegasusEye colour: Dark brown like almost black but it's noticeably brown.Coat: Light blue-grayHooves: Dark gray furry fetlocks.Mane/Tail: Black. Mane is in many layers, slightly careless, bangs hang in front of the face, tail is messy as mane and in many layers.Physique: Shorter than the average height by half an inch. Not very muscular, but not very thin.Residence: CloudsdaleOccupation: Part time artist and Ponyville weather patrol.Cutie Mark: A rainbow tornado. It starts with a dash of black and every time it makes a layer spiraling down, the shade of it the next colour of the rainbow. Gray action lines or dust indicates movement of the tornado. It's supposed to represent her odd creativity and imagination. When she got it she was trying to create something up because she was bored. She spun in circles as fast as she could (for a very young filly so not very fast) in the rain creating little dew drops. After the rain cloud just moved away, the drops created a rainbow. She came up with a story idea that she had created a rainbow tornado, but she realized that she created a normal tornado. So she made a story picture book and told everyone her "tale." Everyone knew it was just a tale, but loved her story. She was happy that everyone loved it and received her cutie mark.History: Spin Art was born in Cloudsdale and has never moved. Her life growing up was hard. Had a few friends of one, but she "wondered what friendship could be." She feared that everyone secluded her because she was a little odd and a little mean since she wanted to be alone. It was said she was grayer than her usual dark blue/gray coat, until she received her cutie mark. (Probably like when you get sick, some hair strands turn white.) Her parents are Speed Cloud (stallion, part of the Wonderbolts but disappeared) and Splatter Paint (mare, sews clothing). Speed Cloud disappeared at the time she was born and her mum has no time at home since few ponies buys their clothes so she stays at the boutique. So Spin Art is always at her neighbor's house so she has "another" family. Her life now is way better since she is friends with more ponies and she tries to get out of her comfort zone to reach out. Every time there was a chance, Spin and her mum go to the Wonderbolts performance when they show in Cloudsdale. They would also try and search for her father, but nothing. He's alive, they both know it.In order to help the household and her mum, she works with her, creates art, and writes stories as a part time job. Her full time job is weather patrol at Ponyville. She got in because she is able to fly in and bust through clouds in a short time (like three minutes). Time to time she would practice stunts while hitting clouds. As she practices she believes that she has the effort to be in the Wonderbolts and search her dad.In her filly years of school she would perform for the school talent show by showing off her aerial stunts with special lighting from some of her friends (she had a handful of friends in school) that knows how to create amazing lights and rainbows. Some ponies were amazed by her feat. Spin Art thought she was going to be one of the popular kids but everypony just "knew her face but not her name." She was ok in school because her main problem in school was math.Summary: Her talent is art, creativity, and imagination. She deeply cares about the people around her especially her friends. She'll defend her friends if she can, but is a little selfish about it since she doesn't want to risk her life. She would have save them, she is just afraid. Aside from her almost loyal side, she loves to imagine the things impossible and is very creative. She would imagine the things around her as a big adventure, no wonder why she is so artistic and can come up with such creative stories. Sometimes she acts like a tomboy, but really she isn't. Her usual faults are when she gets mad at herself when does terribly on something. She is also a little goofy, loud, and can act like a ditz when she is comfortable with the people she is with. She gets mad about when also feels left out and dislikes being alone. Her anger is usually quiet unless you say sorry, she'll scream at you that you aren't. She also looks down upon herself and becomes negative. Her mind is also a different pony in a way because it's a voice that points out all of her flaws. That is her weakness. Her goals are that she wants to join the Wonderbolts, search her father, and be the most original. She thinks she has enough creativity to perform stunts. She gets along with mostly everypony. She is pretty honest about things and speaks from her heart. Things she likes to do in her free time is do stunts, hang around, and sometimes draw. Has she told you she likes the Wonderbolts? A whole lot, she has a collection of their merchandise.She likes a lot of things. She likes reading fiction books (loves Daring Do series), rainbows, and pie. But she really dislikes, of course, being alone and forgotten, cloudy days, math, and stuck up ponies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starswirlthebearded Posted December 26, 2012 Report Share Posted December 26, 2012 Hi there Frosty! I'm just going to try and help you a bit. Remember that I'm not a RP help staffer and everything I say is opinion. So feel free to ignore anything I say if you don't like it First off, I think I mentioned to you in the chat that you should seek to try and describe things in your own words. Using cast characters to describe your character should be avoided! (ie: Instead of saying "Going for the Rainbow Dash style" try and describe Rainbow Dash's style in your own way... Same can be said of the Hooves thing with Big Mac as well as the height and the Mane 6)Hm, the cutie mark story... One filly being able to stop a tornado seems far fetched. Two adult mares whom are of the fastest fliers could create one, but not stop what they created in Wonderbolt Academy (I speak of Rainbow Dash and Lightning Dust). So I think that is a bit far fetched. Try and think of something more believable. Flying fast is fine, but how could she come into that talent that would be believable. RD discovered it during a race when she realized she loved speed and going fast. There must be another way to describe that. Also, the multicolour tail effect seems similar to RD's tail effect. Try to make your character unique. Perhaps think of something different or take that out entirely. However, I'd suggest focusing more on the art and less on the speed. Perhaps give your OC an art related cutie mark. She can still be fast, but it would be secondary to her main talent of being artistic.Also, filly seems a bit young to have a job. Having an art hobby as a filly is fine, perhaps even being an apprentice in the weather factory. But being on the weather patrol as a child/teenager seems a bit much. We never have seen any filly/colt aged ponies working on weather or in the weather factory.Over all, you are off to a good start. You need some tweaking. Right now your character seems almost like a Rainbow Dash copy in filly form (I'd even say almost seeming like a mary sue). Try focusing on the personality and separate this character from what makes her like RD. Try to make your character balanced and interesting with believable faults, and experiences as you would expect to see in the show.Best of luck! If you have any further questions, don't hesitate to ask! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost137 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2012 Ok fixed it! I tried my best not to make her into another Rainbow Dash... But I'm still keeping the part where she has an adventurous and loyal side, but different from RD. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starswirlthebearded Posted December 26, 2012 Report Share Posted December 26, 2012 Much better! I still think you could go into her experiences more that led her to be a part time artist and full time weather patrol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost137 Posted December 26, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 26, 2012 Added.How about that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starswirlthebearded Posted December 27, 2012 Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Short and to the point. I personally can see nothing that would hinder this app terribly. Now to wait what a Help Staffer will say!Please be patient while they get to your app. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost137 Posted December 27, 2012 Author Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 Thank you so much for the help Starswirl! I really needed it! Now, time to play the waiting game........ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojo Posted January 4, 2013 Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 Hi Frost137!Once again, I thank Starswirl for giving you excellent advice!And this is a good, strong app.I, like your character, am a bit of a dreamer with a vivid imagination, so I enjoyed the Cutie Mark story very much.As Starswirl pointed out, this app is brief, but I see that all of the required fields have been filled out, and to be, this app is wonderful! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted January 4, 2013 Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 Welcome to the game! Please be patient and you'll receive permissions to post in the WoE areas soon! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost137 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 So more details is what I should add?Edit: Nevermind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted January 4, 2013 Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 So more details is what I should add?Edit: Nevermind...I don't think anypony has ever been ninja-stamped before. That's hilarious. Congrats, again! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost137 Posted January 4, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 That's an academy record! xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
starswirlthebearded Posted January 4, 2013 Report Share Posted January 4, 2013 How I envisioned Rosie stamping this app: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted April 5, 2013 Report Share Posted April 5, 2013 Moving to applications by user request, for character development. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted April 20, 2013 Report Share Posted April 20, 2013 Hiya, how's this coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost137 Posted April 21, 2013 Author Report Share Posted April 21, 2013 It's done actually. I have been waiting on it for awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frost137 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2013 Hello, I'm just trying not to be rude but it has been a month. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosewind Posted May 21, 2013 Report Share Posted May 21, 2013 Looks okay, again! Restamping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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