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Three Cloud [Ready]


Frost137

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Hi Frosty! The Application is really coming along! However there is only one little thing that needs fixed and you should be good to go :D! The problem being the phrasing of this

Character Summary:Three Cloud's talent is making things that do with the impossible or inventing things useful for earth ponies. Stuff like creating air balloons for earth ponies. He doesn't use the talent much since he's still studying and learning things at school to make his inventions.

It seems to be implying he invented and created the air balloons! Might I suggest this instead?

“Three Cloud’s talent is talent at making things that have to do with flight, like making hot air balloons, or small toys that glide! He’s very dedicated and is studying hard in school right now so he isn’t quite focused on that yet, but one day he’ll be one of the best!”

Or something like that? The laying of “Impossible for earth ponies” is a little thick so focus less on that and more on the fun of creating them and you should be golden!

One last thing! Expand on your characters personality! I know a lot about his friend but not about him all that much! It’s his app! Show off his sparkle! Why does he want to be an Alicorn? What sort of other dreams does he have? Does he like to play cards?

Details are always a great touch to an app so a few more should make this really pop! Thanks so much for reading :D

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Howdy; QL's on a camping trip so I'm back for now. Thanks for making the changes you've made, but there are still a few things to iron out first.

First off, please provide more details as to why your OC wants to be an alicorn. What gives him the slimmer of hope that such a feat is possible? Keep in mind that it won't be common knowledge as to how to become an alicorn.

Finally, can you elaborate more on what personality elements make your socially awkward pony friendable for others? It'll be a big help when other RPers want their ponies to befriend your OC.

Once those two things are taken care of, it won't be long until your OC gets approved. :)

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Hello! I just want to know how's it going for you guys! Is a Senior RP Helper checking this?

Sorry for being impatient, but just making sure this isn't forgotten.

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