Crystal Pony [Ready] Peridot Mellow

[RegalSteel]

Roleplay Type: WoE

Name: Peridot Mellow

Sex: Female

Age: Middle-Aged Mare

Species: Crystal Pony

Eye colour: Piercing bright green ([colour=#66FF33]#66ff33[/colour])

Coat: Seafoam green ([colour=#66FF66]#66ff66[/colour])

Mane/Tail: She has a mane of powder blue([colour=#66CCFF]#66ccff[/colour]) that is held up in a bun most of the time. Her tail is of a medium length and kept combed but little else is ever done with it.

Physique: Slightly shorter and thinner than an average mare. Her ears are a bit smaller and her snout less pronounced.

Residence: Crystal Empire residential district. She's lived in a small two story building for quite a number of years. It is also her office.

Occupation: Therapist & Mediator

Cutie Mark: Chaise longue (The long couch usually associated with psychiatrists). As a Filly Peridot always had a far more reasonable of looking at things. She was always helping to keep her friends & siblings out of trouble; whether it was with each other or adults. Her parents always hinted she may have a future helping others. Yet no matter how many minor disputes and misunderstandings she helped mediate; no cutie mark appeared. It became the cause of quite a bit of frustration for the little filly. She was sure her special talent was helping others, and was determined to make her dream a reality. As fate would have it she eventually succeeded but not until she learned an important lesson. When her frustrations brought her to the breaking point she came to her teacher and told her all about it. After a lot of talking and quite a bit of convincing the mare managed to calm Peridot down, and when she finally did her cutie mark appeared then and there. Teaching her that everyone needs help sometimes, even those that usually give it.

History: Peridot was born and raised in the Crystal Empire. Peridot's parents; Opal and Jem, both still live in The Empire along with Peridot's four younger sisters; two of which are only a few years younger, and one older brother. From a young age Peridot was always the one to keep the peace between the siblings, as sibling rivalry and feuding were quite common. Her Father was usually home more than Opal who was kept busy by her perfume business. Jem did his best to control the quad of temperamental foals but there was only so much one stallion could do. Peridot had few friends outside of her family as a Filly but got along well enough with her classmates.

As a younger mare(after discovering her talent) Peridot had a hard time finding her place in society. She worked a string of odd jobs until she; with a fair sized loan from her mother, managed to purchase herself a small office. Business was hard at first as finding patients was slow, but she was never without business entirely. There was always a pony in need of help, whether it be somepony to simply listen to them, an advisor to help them with a problem they are having, or an impartial voice in a disagreement. Dr. Mellow has treated all manner of issues ranging from slightly embarrassing to the severe. Over the years she's earned a reputation as a patient and caring therapist who genuinely cares for the well being of her patients. In recent times Peridot has relocated to a larger office and increased her number of patients.

Character Summary: Peridot was always quiet and thoughtful, her mind wandering from the present to other subjects and endeavors. She only concentrates on things she finds interesting. if you cannot keep her interest in a conversation her mind will begin to wander before long. Luckily for her career she finds the problems, emotional and mental, of other to be terribly interesting. She loves to help other ponies through their hard times and to get over their fears. Peridot is very good at sensing the emotional states of those around her.

Outside of her job Peridot is very close to her family and visits them at least once a week. She loves her sisters and brother very much. She is, in their case an unpaid, mediator for when the family has problems. When she is not with family she is visiting local shops, or home reading a good book. She loves to do anything that will help to sharpen her mind. She enjoys puzzles, and riddles for this reason. Peridot doesn't socialize a lot but neither is she anti-social. She enjoys the company of other ponies and likes to learn about different cultures and places.

Peridot is very curious and inquisitive. Often times to the point of being downright nosy! She has a tendency to dig into other peoples business and snoop into things. it's both great for her job and terrible for her personal life. To those she knows she can also be a bit overbearing and motherly, she always helped take care of her younger siblings and that carried over to her friends and romantic interests. At times she can also be a bit bossy, but she does her best not to order around ponies outside her family. All in all Peridot has a calm demeanor and her words carry the weight of both sage advice and authority.

[RegalSteel]

Marked as Ready.

Added Cutie Marks Story, dropped any mention of depression and mental illness, and cleaned up the entire app a bit.

[Elderflower]

Hi there Regal! I'd like to offer some pointers as a fellow roleplayer!

This is a pretty solid app, there are just a few recommendations I would make. Any references to depression or other mental illnesses are typically not accepted in World of Equestria. The roleplay aims to stick as close to show canon as possible, and depression/mental health issues don't really fit into that canon. It's a pretty dark theme for the pastel world of ponies! My second suggestion would be to expand upon Peridot's cutie mark section as well. Simply telling us what it is doesn't tell us her story: how she found her mark or how it shaped her. Think of it as an opportunity to really make your character shine! You referenced her discovering her talent in the history, but we still don't know how things went. The cutie mark is such an important part of a pony's life, it will really help shape your character for the staff members who read your app and for those who will roleplay with her in the future!

The last thing I want to mention is to keep in mind that World of Equestria is slice of life roleplay. You reference Peridot as being quiet, and while I can see where you make up for her less social personality with a few quirks (that I really enjoy, actually!), I think minor tweaks that focus more on her busybody side and what makes it come out will show more of the side we'd see whenever she interacts with others. This part may not actually be crucial to the application process, but I think it would help strengthen Peridot as a roleplay character.

Good luck with the process! I hope you find my suggestions helpful, and I look forward to seeing Peridot in WoE! It'll be really fun to see that busybody side of her come out, I can't wait to see where it takes her! I'm sure it'll be lots of fun!

Oh, one last note: While Opal Essence is a neat little play on a cast character, I'm not sure if staff will have an issue with it or not. I would personally suggest removing any connection to Opalescence (even if it's a playful reference). It's probably best to keep your OC as separate from established canon characters, but staff can certainly correct me on this if I'm wrong! c:

[RegalSteel]

Somehow I missed the cMark story on my check before Readying. I'll add that & tweak a few things.

Now to the srs business portion. I can see what you mean about depression, mental disorders, etc being a bit dark for MLP canon. That said Crystal Empire backstory involves Crystal Ponies all being depressed because Sombra is pretty much a big meanie. That aside there is also a canon case of mental problems in the case of Screw Loose. These combined with the Crystal Ponies empathy are what inspired the idea of a Therapist.

Thank you very much for your feedback & advice.

[QuickLime]

You overplay the depression and other mental illness way too much, I cannot see this as a character in the show, and the bit about her business booming due to Sombra...In fact we actively discouraging the mention of Sombra or making the past of a crystal pony dark, they don't really remember him , all they seemed to remember was the fear and darkness..which got snuffed out by Cadence.

I recommend a change of job if you feel a therapist is only good for depression? There are many things Therapists help with, perhaps make her a physical therapist, or a aromatherapist?

Point being you focus on depression and such way too much, ElderFlower was right in her post

So please change that and when that's done I'll give this application another once over

[RegalSteel]

Okay I have edited the History to remove some parts and reword others. Also I added the Cutie mark story, I genuinely forgot it and I apologize for my mistake. I believe Peridot should be more acclimated to WoE now and I added a note at the bottom of her application to explain my intentions with her as a character. Hopefully that will alleviate concerns you may have had.

[QuickLime]

Actually if you actively have to go out of your way to explain your characters motives in a out of character post that doesn't go with your app? It's a pretty big chance that you need to rework this character

Note[colour=#282828]: It has been brought up as a concern that I am concentrating too much on depression and mental disability. That is not my intent with this character at all. The idea behind Peridot was rooted in my amusement whenever Screw Loose made an appearance. I found myself interested in her improvement despite how minor a character she was. So when I saw that Crystal Ponies had empathic abilities something clicked in my mind; what better way to use those abilities than to help others? I do intend for Peridot to have Patient to Doctor style Rp but I want them to be light hearted, cute, and occasionally downright goofy. I hope this helps to understand the direction I wish to go with this character.[/colour]

^ So all of this needs to go.

Another issue I see is this bit

[colour=#282828] but she was never without business entirely. There was always a pony in need of help overcoming stress, anxiety, or a plethora of other maladies[/colour]

This isn't necessary, especially since again you mention stress, anxiety ect, focus on other aspects one that is in the therapy business other than anxiety and depression, maybe reword it to something like "There was always a pony in need of a sympathetic ear, or someone to go to that could give calm and rational advice to help them work through their problems"

Also your bit about her "Not sugarcoating for anypony" I can understand this character trait, I have a character that is very similar but at the same time you need to remember your character is in a business where one needs to be gentle and not harsh, one overly harsh word, and the truth put too bluntly can lose you a client.

[RegalSteel]

mention stress, anxiety ect, focus on other aspects one that is in the therapy business other than anxiety and depression, maybe reword it to something like "There was always a pony in need of a sympathetic ear, or someone to go to that could give calm and rational advice to help them work through their problems"

"Not sugarcoating for anypony" I can understand this character trait, I have a character that is very similar but at the same time you need to remember your character is in a business where one needs to be gentle and not harsh, one overly harsh word, and the truth put too bluntly can lose you a client.

I removed the things that you mentioned and edited a few details. Upon you pointing out the second part I immediately facehooved at my own lack of thinking that particular trait through. Thank you for pointing that out to me as you were absolutely right.

[RegalSteel]

Added Mediator as a part of Peridot's occupation and made some minor edits to reflect this.

[QuickLime]

I will look it over shortly

[Armony]