Pegasus StormChaser Ready

[stormchaser1991]

​​​Character Application:

Roleplay Type:Free for all

Name:StormChaser

Sex:Male

Age:Colt

Species:Pegasus

Eye colour:Red

Coat:Light Green

Mane/Tail:His tail is very puffy and looks like cotton candy" and for his mane "His mane is red and blue and when he moves his mane moves like waves his tail is aloso red and blue

Physique: about the same as a nomal pegasus

Residence:The Heartaland of Equestria Ponyville or cloudsdale

Occupation:Ponyville or cloudsdale weather Patrol

Cutie Mark:a thunder cloud and a lighting bolt the bolt is hitting a tire

it was summer flight camp the time was about lunch time.StormChaser was just finishing his hay fries when he hear some other ponies talking about how ponies were making fun of a curtain mare after that he got up and decide to go flying around abit after a couple of minutes of flying he overheard a different group of ponies that the same ponies from before challenge a a mare to a race after he heard that he flew up to the group of ponies and ask them more about it they told him everything they knew about it they also told him they was starting soon as they was heading there now he said i would go to if i didn't have a race to be in and could not be skip even to see bully colts being beaten by the mare as he was leaving they wish him good luck in his race he said thanks and to tell him who wins the race the next time we meet they said ok when he finally got to the to the lunch room the mare he was going to race was already here and calling StormChaser a slowpoke the race started at about the halfway point there was a load booming sound Startaling him and he lose control and spun out into some thunder clouds some pegasi was moving after a few moments he shot out like a arrow with lighting following him everytime he turned the lighting would turn with him and he bearly won the race when he finally landed a crowd of pegasi surrounded him saying how amazing he was the mare stomp away angry one pegasus pointed to his cutie mark and everypony try to get a look of it

History:born and raised in trottingham his life in trottingham was plain his mum name is ThunderDancer is a pegasus his father Star sparkle is a unicorn and they get along just fine his grandparents live in cloudsdale his grandmother name is Waterchaser and his grandfather name is Flaredancer he also knows rainbow dash and her family he is trying to make the best of his life he can after he got to a curtain age he moved from trottingham to see the world and find to best place to settled down

Character Summary:when StormChaser is concentrating and forcing on something really hard he gets stratled really easily and make mistakes stormchaser talents are speed he is also good at making thing like toys and wagons StormChaser dreams and goal in life is to go down in history and maybe start a family he loves sweet foods,partys,being a daredevil,and magic he dislikessour foods, and going slow his hobby is making veriest things when he is not practicing he behave carmly and rarely jump to conclusion he loves to make new friends some ponies feel safer when they arw around him other feel like they are ing danger around him he always fails at making food for himself he is not good at cooking he is afraid of the dark and some ponies still make fun of him for it like picthdarkness and he is worry he will die along and never me his true love and he doesn't give up very easily ponies may hit him while he is down but he would't give up

[QuickLime]

Hi there! Might I suggest you make this app Free For All instead of WOE? WOE has very strict rp standards and a LOT of this all is going to need to change if you want to rp this character in WOE

For example ALL mentions of cast are going to have to go...and you didn't finish filling your application out XD

[stormchaser1991]

what the cast can't be in my background and i can have pinkie tail and vinyl mane

[QuickLime]

what the cast can't be in my background and i can have pinkie tail and vinyl mane

You have to describe them not just say "Pinkies tail" you say "His tail is very fluffy and bouncy" and for his mane "His mane is blue and red and spikes out slightly"

And no you can't use cast characters in your characters history, not for WOE anyways, for FFA sure you can have whatever you want, just won't get to rp in WOE.

[QuickLime]

You should really be sure to read Da Rules before you write a WOE Application too just for the record

[stormchaser1991]

there how is that

[QuickLime]

...You copying and pasting my suggestions doesn't really count as an improvement..I suggest you make this FFA again a lot still needs to be done

[stormchaser1991]

i removed all the casts name from it and edit the copy and past i did what else

[QuickLime]

You need to make his cutie mark just not be Rainbow Dash's retold, your character is trying too hard to be dark and edgy, not a light hearted character, he needs to be more like the ponies from the show, not just a Rainbow Dash clone.

[stormchaser1991]

Lightning Bolts Cutie Mark my cutie mark would be more like lighting bolts then rainbow dashs

[QuickLime]

That doesn't make him a unique character though haha Your ponies background, history, and goals are nearly identical to hers, You need to focus on making him his own unique creation instead of piggybacking on a mane six

[stormchaser1991]

then care to explain how my character a clone of rainbow dash alot of young pegasi goes to summer flight camp my cutie mark has nothing to do with a rainbow lighting bolt and they both loves to go very fast but stormchaser can't make a sonic rainboom ever if he tryed which he did a couple of time and he got himself serious injury each time he try

[QuickLime]

I don't need to explain it, you just need to change it, The background, goals, and motive are identical to hers, Rainbow Dash is more than a Sonic Rainboom, she is courage, loyalty, and yet selfish, scared, and insecure. Rainbow Dash has depth and motivations, and dreams and goals, your character is attempting to be a weak copy of her.

You need to utterly forget about Rainbow Dash and focus on making your Pony (And your pony is not yourself so please stop taking the criticism personally) a unique, creative, individual with flaws, weaknesses, goals and dreams all his own.

[stormchaser1991]

the only time i was thinking of rainbow dash when i made this was during my first cutie mark story all the other stuff i taken for inside myself so i apologize

but you talking bad about him is like you talking bad about me i guess that proves i am like rainbow dash on the inside

if you don't tell me how he is a clone i can't fix him so he is not

so his goal can't be he want to become famous alot of ponies most likely want to

he can't get his cutie mark during a race during summer flight camp rainbow dash was defeating fluttershy honor stormchaser was just racing because he got challenge to a race

about the job controling the weather is awesome rainbow is not the only weather pony

and motive what are stormchaser motive i don't know

and again i apologize for explosioning like that but this character came from deep within my soul how i really feel and what i want to be like in real life be not

[stormchaser1991]

i ever tear up a little from that

[QuickLime]

You should never use a character for wish fulfillment, it's hollow and disappointing, and earlier you were trying to insert your character (who should be something creative and have a life of it's own, not just you trying to insert yourself into a fantasy) into Rainbow Dash's story.

[colour=#282828]but you talking bad about him is like you talking bad about me i guess that proves i am like rainbow dash on the inside[/colour]

I am /NOT/ Talking bad about you, I told you what needed to be fixed to be in WOE, I suggested FFA so you could play your character however you want but WOE has strict standards you HAVE to meet to get in. It is not me being mean.

And I have already told you what you are doing to make your character like Rainbow Dash.

[starswirlthebearded]

Hey Stormchaser! I know the first character is a difficult one, but QuickLime is merely trying to teach you about how our game works and the rules that World of Equestria entails. World of Equestria is a premium roleplay environment designed to mimic what we see in FiM. Just as every character is unique and special in FiM, the same can be said of WoE.

All of her criticism is directed at your character, not you. This is never about you, even if this is a ponysona. If you are flexible and open minded I'm sure she can help you create a great character for WoE. She is probably one of the best character designers on all of Canterlot. QuickLime has well over 30+ original characters that are all unique!

That doesn't mean that this is a bad character mind you, just that it isn't right for World of Equestria as it is now. Your cutie mark story for instance shouldn't be something that you picked up out of the show. The cutie mark story you are using wasn't written by you, but rather M.A. Larson. Your cutie mark story for your character should be something personal and completely original for your character.

Please follow QuickLime's instructions to the best of your ability and I'm sure this application will turn out well. And please remember to keep all correspondence for this application within the application itself!

Thank you for your understanding, and good luck!

PS: I would really reconsider her suggestion of FFA, so you can gain valuable roleplaying experience in an open and flexible environment. It would allow you to play this character with no changes.

[stormchaser1991]

so for a FFA are you going to assign me a place or do i just pink one

[stormchaser1991]

and about my cutie mark story i can take things away from it but i can't think of how to change it

[Rosewind]