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Czar Coronet


Malkav

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Name: Czar Coronet

Sex: Male

Age: Older Stallion

Species: Pegasus

Pelt Color: Light Yellow, nearing Gray

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Gray mane and tail, and gray wingtips. His mane and tail are usually washed, but unkempt

Eye Color: Green

Cutie Mark: A Coronet, symbolic of his position in life (royal guard)

Physique: Muscular, but feeling the effects of older age, scar across left eye

Origin: Canterlot, he now lives on the shores of one of the Great Nimbusgait Lakes

Roleplay Type: FiM/Show Universe

Occupation: Former Soldier, now retired

Motivation: To protect Equestria whenever evil arises

Likes: Quiet, flying, the calmness of the lake

Dislikes: Loud parties, loud "Young'uns

Character Summary:

Czar was born to the family Guardians of the Crown. Throughout his family, most first-born sons develop a Crown-type Cutie Mark, which is carried as a badge of honor, gives one prominence in the family, and marks one for the military.

As a foal, he spent most of his days romping around and mock fighting with his younger brothers. He received his Cutie Mark quite young, so most of his younger days were spent training to become the pony-of-war he was going to be.

His days as a colt were spent being a squire to his father, who was also a Honor Guard, III Order, in Her Majesty's militia. Most of his time this required a lot of polishing. Polish the armor, the sword, Father's hooves, the list was endless. But, his life was comfortable, and he made plenty of friends among the other squires, and among the other Guards.

As soon as he came of age, he joined the Tactical Aviation Branch of the military. Around that same time, his Father, now and older stallion, gave him his trusty Broadsword, Hoovesbane. His father also had it inscribed with such magical symbols that it became impervious to rust and dulling. He also inherited his father's armor, which shone with such splendor that it must have cost a fortune. By the time he was a young Stallion, he had risen to the rank of Captain, and was the leader of REA Field Forces Tactical Aviation, Platoon 312.

When Czar was around middling-age Stallion, he and his squad went on a typical fly-over of Everfree Forest. However, the mission was to end in total disaster. Landing in the forest for the night made his squad a prime target for a very hungry and vicious Manticore.

Boxing them in between thick brambles, thick canopy, and the creature itself, the whole unit was forced to engage the creature in combat.

He and his platoon fought bravely, though three were killed, and several were greatly wounded. Eventually, it was down to Czar vs the monster. Czar thrust, he parried, he dodged, although a second too late. One of the beast's claws raked him across his left eye. After over an hour of dodge, parry, thrust, the Manticore lay dead at his feet. He returned, and earned the nickname of "Scar".

From then on, stories throughout the military told of Captain Scar and the Manticore.

In his younger days, he was quite the handsome stallion. He had all the mares clambering after him. But, one earth-pony in particular caught his attention. They married, and had but one daughter before his she died from an incurable disease. He was devastated, and couldn't bear having his little girl grow up without a mother. He sent his daughter, Cherrybloom, to live with her aunt and uncle in Trottingham, where he watched from afar as she grew up.

Eventually, Czar grew weary of life in the military, and is now (technically) retired, although when duty calls, he is always there with Hoovesbane, and a readiness to fight.

Eventually, he ended up breaking all ties with the military, and decided to live as a hermit on the shores of the Great Nimbusgait Lakes. He occasionally does some covert ops for the Crown, but he generally keeps out of politics.

As an elderly Stallion, he tends to heckle the younger generations whenever he goes into town, but the heckling is generally light-hearted and usually quite hilarious to the passerby. Or, he can be the typical crotchety old man, should he be annoyed, or unhappy or upset. But that is just simply a facade. He keeps the pain of his lost wife, the horror of that battle with the manticore, and the physical pain he experiences on a daily basis locked deep inside of him. However, he feels he needs to save Equestria from evil, whenever it arises, usually leading to some very strange situations.

As unstable as he is, he is regarded with honor among the younger generation as a wise old man, and is willing to give advice to anyone who seeks it. To some, he is seen as just a grumpy old man. To those willing to listen, he is a teacher, and a sage, with much advise about life, and how to live it to the fullest.

Czar, Cutie Mark, and Hoovesbane:

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It looks good but there are a few things I want to address. I'm not sure if it's okay for him to have served directly under Celestia since having any relationship with the Cast is prohibited, but it's as a guard so that would makes sense that he would serve Princess Celestia. I'll have to talk to the other staff members about that, now anyway (Sorry I started to ramble) I want to know more about his past seeing as he's a old stallion he must of had a few more defining moment. I would also like to know more about his parents and how he recieved his cutie-mark. Also we don't use numbers for ages since we don't know how they age instead you can use young stallion or older stallion for the ages of 25, 30, and 40.

Other than that I like it just needs a few more tweaks -_-

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I like where this guy is headed. However, so far as we've seen in show, ponies are not born with Cutie Marks. It's a part of growing up and discovering ones self. So, being born with a Cutie Mark is not canon and therefore is not allowed in RP for any character. However, there's nothing wrong with your pony becoming a guard, or being born in to a long line of guards. I also don't think that ponies have the same Cutie Mark, although they can have similar ones.

It'd also be good if you talked a bit about his childhood. What is his personality like? I feel like there is room for expansion on this character.

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It's nice to see people trying to give the military some life-- even better to see some more veterans.

First some nitpicky stuff. If he lost his entire unit to a wild creature and did not attempt to disengage but instead fought it to the death, there would probably be a court martial or at the very least an inquest into the matter. The presence or absence of a a court martial won't prevent character approval, I just thought it could use some fleshing out. It may even be an additional RP hook for you to use later!

Other than that minor detail, the history is good. I do think that your personality could use a little additional exposition. What does "kooky old man" entail? Does he space out? Does he troll the colts and fillies with stories about his soldiering days? Does he always try to one-up other soldiers or up and coming officers? Also, how much association does he have with the military now that he's been discharged? Is he still keeping in touch with his buds? Does he have connections high up in the chain of command? Answering these questions might give some idea of how he would react in certain situations and give you a peek into the psychology of the character.

Finally, you may want to take a look at my Royal Equestrian Army thread. It's not board canon yet, but it may give you some ideas of your own and where to take either Czar or any future military OCs you create.

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