Laughinglake12804 Posted September 27, 2016 Report Share Posted September 27, 2016 Roleplay Type: free for all/WoE Name:Laughing lake (Also known as Lala if people cant pronounce it) Sex: Female Age: Young Mare Species: Earth pony Eye colour: Chocolate brown Coat: Fertilized soil brown Mane/Tail: Straight raven black mane and tail with blood red highlights. Once in awhile there will be a small flower hair clip in her mane if the bangs are in her eyes. Physique: Athletic but feminine. And i mean as she can still look good in a skirt rarity might put in on her but has some skills to get out of trouble in times of need. Residence:Ponyville Occupation: Paranormal consultant and shaman Cutie Mark: A lake with 6 spirits, 3 being pastel and happy showing she is kind to friends and positive and caring, the other 3 red and running away from the pastel ones because they fear what she can do if they were her enemy. How she got her cutie mark was rather unique she was being bullied by alot of people and it got to the point where when she had enough spirits came to her aid and scared them away. That was when she learned the meaning of her name. Some laugh at her and some laugh with her. The ones that laugh at her or at her friends will fear her possibilities with talking to spirits. She swore to only use this power for positive causes. Unique Traits: Besides being a paranormal expert she has a unique ability to use her deduction to find a haunted item that the spirit is trapped in and knows why. History: Laughing lake was born in appleloosa . Her life growing up was bittersweet. She was always bullied for being different from the other ponies due to that she can see ghosts and spirits. Her mother Holy Wind is a priestess who told her she was blessed with a gift and her corrupt father Brave hoof told her to hide it and try to be 'normal'. Her older brother is Tohopeka and he was basically the only male pony in the house that was her role model and they had each other's backs. She moved to ponyville after her father rejected her cause in life since he wanted her to be a tech pony or have some type of meaningful job. Since she moved to ponyville it has been a little..awkward. She tried to make good money to start her paranormal business yet it's hard to explain to people.She hopes to solve many cases and put spirits to rest both alive and dead. She knows she can't solve them all however she wants to try. Character Personality: Lala is a sweet pony to her friends and can be strict and serious when she has to be. She loves helping lift people's spirits no matter how small.There have been moments where due to her controlling father she does get timid around other stallions or any male with deep voices but will warm up to them if they show their not gonna hurt her. Ounce you get past that timid bubble you will learn she loves finding spirits,helping them be put to rest and just wants somepony to understand shes not a freak. Character Summary: All and all Laughing lake is a Mare of unique talents that helped her live in appleloosa. She came to ponyville for a change in not just her life but in others. Sure she has it rough but deep down she can help anypony if given a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueblood Posted September 29, 2016 Report Share Posted September 29, 2016 Hello! Friendly neighborhood RP helper here. I'll help guide you through the application process. First off, Roleplay type doesn't refer to the genre so much as the boards you'd prefer to play on. There are two on Canterlot: World of Equestria, which are the moderated boards, having more robust character power limits, lore consistency, and grammar/length minimum requirements. The other is Free-for-All, which has virtually no restrictions outside of the general site rules against explicit or offensive material. Which one are you aiming for? If the latter, than I can move this thread to the FFA character profile page, and you can get started right away! If you'd prefer the World of Equestria boards, then we'll need to work on this application a little more. Specifically, working on spelling and formatting, as well as fleshing out your character's history with a more detailed narrative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted September 29, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 29, 2016 then free for all for the moment please blueblood ^_^ oh and i honestly do not mind roleplaying with you sometime. I actually kinda like blueblood even though hes kinda a jerk he does have potential of being a unique friend to Lake..after she accidental scares him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueblood Posted September 29, 2016 Report Share Posted September 29, 2016 Alright, I'll move this app there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 @PrinceBlueblood its edited and i made it look less lame! *puppy eyes thinking she fixed it and can rp with everyone else* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueblood Posted October 12, 2016 Report Share Posted October 12, 2016 You can RP all you like in FFA; for World of Equestria, we would have to re-post this app in that board and run through the process again. There's still a lot of work that would have to be done with this. You'd have to do more work on specifying where Neighbenaki actually is, as that's not one of the locations in our lore section. Additionally, the format of the history section should be in paragraph narrative, not question and answer. There's still some issues of spacing and punctuation that would have to be resolved as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2016 okay ill get on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 13, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 13, 2016 okay i edited it. *sees typos* CURSE YOU TYPOS I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY IM TRYING TO LOOK SEMI PROFESSIONAL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowFoxxy Posted October 14, 2016 Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 It seems to me you would like to have this ap approved for WoE so I will move it back to the WoE application section. As for your edits, BlueBlood has begun working on this app with you so I'll leave it to him to continue to help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyipheoryia Posted October 14, 2016 Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 Just a slight thing to add: -Throughout the entire app, your OC is referred to as Laughing Lake, but in the 'Character Personality' section, the OC is suddenly referred to as 'Lala'. Are you talking about the same OC? Is Lala a nickname? If Lala is a nickname for Laughing Lake, you may want to mention that in the 'Name' section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 14, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 14, 2016 Yes lala is hickname ill add it to her name ^_^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteelEagle Posted October 21, 2016 Report Share Posted October 21, 2016 Hey Laughing Lake! How is this application coming along? (Remember to tell us when you're ready for us to look at the application again!:)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 22, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 i think its done but. im honestly thinking she wont get accepted because of my stupid grammar issues and that im to shy and nervous. that always happen when i try to join a new forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyipheoryia Posted October 22, 2016 Report Share Posted October 22, 2016 The one thing I would suggest is adding more to her Character Personality. I'm sure Lala can be described in more than just two sentences Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 23, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 23, 2016 done ^_^ i also went into a tiny bit of detail of why she gets timid aroung only guys with deep voices. (Sorry anyone who has deep voiced character or a big mac. she will only be scared of you for about... 10 minutes...) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bellosh Posted October 24, 2016 Report Share Posted October 24, 2016 Sorry about the wait, but here's some feedback: 1. First off, we are extremely picky about signing off on pony cultures based off of Native American/First Nations civilizations. For one thing, it's quite illogical to have indigenous-style tribes develop in a country where more permanent communities took hold. It'll be more plausible if such indigenous groups thrived on the Frontier (like the Buffalo in the Season 1 Appleloosa episode) or are otherwise beyond the edge of civilization (like the pony natives in Daring Don't), but we'll have to say no to any pony tribes in the Equestrian heartland itself. Just note though that in the case of user-created (ie. unofficial) cultures in WoE, other RPers are not obliged to acknowledge their existence. 2. To be frank, this character comes off as a really big special snowflake. In isolation, individual traits like getting bullied as a kid, being feared by others, having an abusive father (which I advise you don't go overboard with this), or seeing spirits are not so bad. It's when they start piling up when an OC starts cultivating a mood that doesn't fit with the character design philosophy of FiM that we set out to emulate. My recommendation in this situation is to pick the one special trait that you feel defines your character the most, and scrap the rest. That'll allow your OC to better fit in with our RP environment. 3. While nothing about spirits is setting-breaking per se, as no official precedent has yet to be established by the show, other roleplayers are not obliged to acknowledge your interpretation of how the paranormal works in WoE. 4. In general, this app needs to focus more on the character herself and less on how other ponies react to her. ------ Indeed, this seems like quite a bit to swallow. Technically, it's still possible to make this OC fit in WoE, but much work has to be done yet. If you'd rather get to RPing her as she is currently, you can always transfer this character over to Free For All. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyipheoryia Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 4 hours ago, Bellosh said: Sorry about the wait, but here's some feedback: 1. First off, we are extremely picky about signing off on pony cultures based off of Native American/First Nations civilizations. For one thing, it's quite illogical to have indigenous-style tribes develop in a country where more permanent communities took hold. It'll be more plausible if such indigenous groups thrived on the Frontier (like the Buffalo in the Season 1 Appleloosa episode) or are otherwise beyond the edge of civilization (like the pony natives in Daring Don't), but we'll have to say no to any pony tribes in the Equestrian heartland itself. Just note though that in the case of user-created (ie. unofficial) cultures in WoE, other RPers are not obliged to acknowledge their existence. 2. To be frank, this character comes off as a really big special snowflake. In isolation, individual traits like getting bullied as a kid, being feared by others, having an abusive father (which I advise you don't go overboard with this), or seeing spirits are not so bad. It's when they start piling up when an OC starts cultivating a mood that doesn't fit with the character design philosophy of FiM that we set out to emulate. My recommendation in this situation is to pick the one special trait that you feel defines your character the most, and scrap the rest. That'll allow your OC to better fit in with our RP environment. 3. While nothing about spirits is setting-breaking per se, as no official precedent has yet to be established by the show, other roleplayers are not obliged to acknowledge your interpretation of how the paranormal works in WoE. 4. In general, this app needs to focus more on the character herself and less on how other ponies react to her. ------ Indeed, this seems like quite a bit to swallow. Technically, it's still possible to make this OC fit in WoE, but much work has to be done yet. If you'd rather get to RPing her as she is currently, you can always transfer this character over to Free For All. If you still want to continue with this app for WoE, I'd be utmost glad to help you~ I think she has a lot of potential for some great rp's...but it's once again the 'special snowflake' issue. If we tone that down a bit and fix up the setting issues, I'm sure we can get her approved in no time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 o-oh...um...ill fix it.. im sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyipheoryia Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 1 minute ago, Laughinglake12804 said: o-oh...um...ill fix it.. im sorry Hey, don't be sorry~ You're on the path to approving your OC, there's nothing to be sorry for Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 no its fine she has to be completely redone....i-i always roleplayed her like this and nobody was bothered by her but..if she is a mary sue i must fix her..or i wont be aceptted.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 and yes i do have anxiety about being aceptted into things i like...if im not aceptted i try to fix it or i freak out thinking im a loser so i have to get this perfect or i wont have friends.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyipheoryia Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 6 minutes ago, Laughinglake12804 said: no its fine she has to be completely redone....i-i always roleplayed her like this and nobody was bothered by her but..if she is a mary sue i must fix her..or i wont be aceptted.. She's not a mary sue~ If anything, she's the complete opposite of one! Unfortunately, there are certain standards that must be met for apps to be approved on Canterlot. For one, following canon is really important! Having a balanced OC is also something try to maintain in WoE: afterall, it would be no fun roleplaying with an OC that's perfect at everything, or an OC that sucks at everything~ Lala doesn't have to be completely redone, she just needs some edits-just the few things that Bell said above. She'll be approved in no time if you keep at it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 10 minutes ago, Lyipheoryia said: She's not a mary sue~ If anything, she's the complete opposite of one! Unfortunately, there are certain standards that must be met for apps to be approved on Canterlot. For one, following canon is really important! Having a balanced OC is also something try to maintain in WoE: afterall, it would be no fun roleplaying with an OC that's perfect at everything, or an OC that sucks at everything~ Lala doesn't have to be completely redone, she just needs some edits-just the few things that Bell said above. She'll be approved in no time if you keep at it! o-okay where do i start? I know i goofed on the native pony thing but..i honestly..didnt know where to put her at first so i made something up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyipheoryia Posted October 25, 2016 Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 Welll since you didn't have a solid idea of where to put her originally, it should be relatively easy to find her a new place to come from. Here's a map of places to choose from: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laughinglake12804 Posted October 25, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 25, 2016 I guess appleoosa is as close as im gonna get to showing her country side..-.- the other ones wouldnt make sense. okay i guess next is explaining her emotional abuse huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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