Manestream Posted November 20, 2011 Report Share Posted November 20, 2011 Hey there tornadopelt!Sorry it takes me a while to find time to reply- I work full time and i'm being trained as assistant manager of my store, so its hard to find the time to sit down and reply sometimes!I'm glad to see you made some changes- i think your getting very close. There are a few references to MLP you make that i would take out, since your pony is a member of the MLP world, it would be hard for them to watch about it ^_^ Here is where they are:"Likes: Anything to do with explosives or fire, MLP toys, and MLP in general. (For example, he'll sit for 2 hours straight on a couch just to watch 4 episodes of FiM, and he's done so.)" <--- Take out the stuff in blue, because technically your pony lives in the same world as the mane 6, so to him its not a show, its real life! "And his life has its funny moments too, like watching My Little Pony whenever he gets the chance. His thoughts on the show? "The animation is good, the characters go through major development, you get to see HOW ponies get their cutie marks, it's fantactic, the show itself looks 20% cooler, what else do I need to tell you?"" <-- same thing here, you'll want to take out the parts in blue. When you play your OC, you are in a way becoming them to describe what they say, feel, or do, but your pony wont know about MLP like you do- to him its his everyday life and all he knows :3 Its his reality.You also have this in your app:"(Other times, he got them delivered by the EPS, or Equestrian Postal Service. [No reference to Derpy.])" <--- This is okay to reference the EPS, you can take out the little bit in blue here. Its totally okay to reference a well known location or aspect of the show, it is just not okay to say that you know any cast pony. You can however, meet them in the Mane RP and then become friends and have adventures!I think if you make these changes, your looking pretty good to go. That said, I think there will still be room for improvement in your application (some of the grammar and clarity can be cleaned up to make your bio flow more smoothly, but thats pretty minor. Everyone here, experienced and new, has a lot of room to improve!I did want to add a little blurb here though- Your pony is very caught up with fireworks and pyrotechnics, and that is fine as long as your OC uses them responsibly in the mane RP (and not to distract or derail other RP's), but I dont think a mushroom cloud really as cleanly as a firework explosion like you describe from a girandola- I think it is much more playful and happy (like your OC), than a mushroom cloud (which can have a very negative connotation to it), so that is something you might consider thinking about some!Send me another PM when you've got the changes I outlined, and let me know what you think about the cutie mark suggestion- I'm not going to force you to change it, but I think it would fit your OC and his personality a lot better from my point of view! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted November 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 Just so you know, Derpy is not a mane cast pony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted November 23, 2011 Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 Just so you know, Derpy is not a mane cast pony.She has been featured in the show more than a few times which counts her as a cast from the show, she will still be counted as a cast character. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted November 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 And what's with the Pegasus deal beside my app, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted November 23, 2011 Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 And what's with the Pegasus deal beside my app, huh?It's for when this application gets accepted that our moderate, Skye, knows what species of this character is without having to look at the app twice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted November 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 23, 2011 So my App got accepted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuickLime Posted November 24, 2011 Report Share Posted November 24, 2011 No, you'll know when it gets accepted it will be stamped as such and moved to the accepted pegasus thread.You should listen to the staff and try to implement their suggestions in your app, also there is no need to be so short with them they really just want to help you make the best app possible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted November 24, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 24, 2011 What stamp will be on it once it gets accepted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted November 24, 2011 Report Share Posted November 24, 2011 What stamp will be on it once it gets accepted?You'll know it when you see it.If you really wish to know you should check out the accepted apps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted November 25, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 I'm just anxious, that's all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted November 27, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 27, 2011 Have any Helpstaff read it so far? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted November 27, 2011 Report Share Posted November 27, 2011 Not yet since most staffers start from the bottom up. So it might be a few moments before your app is looked over. IN the meantime have you been editing the app and making the changes that were suggested? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted November 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted November 28, 2011 I have no idea what other changes I need to make! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted December 6, 2011 Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 So, does he have any hobbies other than being a pyrotechnist? Seeing as he's already living the dream it must be a pretty dull life and I'm sure he gets tired of selling his devices sometimes. It seems like we know a lot about his professional side, but not a lot of her personal side. I understand that pyrotechnics is a huge part of his life, but there must be more to it than that right? Mind giving us a bit of that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted December 6, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 I'll be editing the page of my charrie! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted December 6, 2011 Report Share Posted December 6, 2011 I'm looking forward to your revisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted December 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 7, 2011 Still working on 'em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlindJester Posted December 14, 2011 Report Share Posted December 14, 2011 How is this application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted December 15, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 15, 2011 I think I'm done! as in with revisions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted December 17, 2011 Report Share Posted December 17, 2011 For Great Justice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted December 20, 2011 Report Share Posted December 20, 2011 While I am concerned with the number of explosives and pyrotechnics ponies that have been popping up lately, I don't see an immediate issue here. Keep in mind that the only reason I am approving the use of explosives in this case is for the fireworks. We do not want guns and cannons to appear in the roleplay, as this isn't that type of roleplay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornadopelt Posted December 29, 2011 Author Report Share Posted December 29, 2011 *jaw drop* OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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