A little advice?

[3arlGrey]

Alright everypony, I'm in a bit of a fix here. I know that I shouldn't post all of my self-related, reality

issues that are TL;DR walls of text, but I'd appreciated it if anybody at all gave me some input on this,

and heard me out.

So, in short, I need a bit of help. I've only just gotten used to high school, being a freshman and all, and for

the longest time, I've been friends with this one girl, who I've been hiding my brony status from for the

longest time. She's kind, cute, and caring, but I haven't really considered a deep relationship with her.

For some reason, in the past few weeks, people have started paying more attention to me, which I resent.

I don't especially like being the center of attention in a town I detest. A few weeks ago, an elderly couple

were found shot in their homes by their son who came home from school, their car found torched in a

neighboring city. Some time before that, some seniors were arrested for playing an erratic game of

"wet biscuit" with some freshmen, students my age. Passing over those two incidents, nobody in this town

is a pleasant person at heart but the friend I spoke of earlier and my own family. Everyone's either a

self-indulging prick who's heads are as big as their egos, or morons who care nothing but for their cell-phones

and the latest fashion. I dream of the day I'll go to college and move out of this hellhole, but that's a different matter.

In short, I dislike being followed around all day and being invited to lunch tables by arrogant jockeys

that tried to bully me when we attended elementary school, and tailed by girls who I didn't even know existed.

Because of all this unnatural reactions, weird rumors began to circulate, a majority of them about me. I've

never been the most athletic, nor smartest, and I don't really consider myself "cool" or handsome, but yet,

I started to hear things that I desperately wanted to forget, and suddenly, one face among the crowd suddenly

claimed she was in a relationship with me, as some kind of big joke - I'll dub her, "Girl".

And suddenly, I was suddenly some egotistical, over-emotional pessimist because I often told people off

whenever they approached me, especially that girl. The biggest fear I had up until about a few days ago

was my brony-ism, and that fact being unwrapped. Somehow, it did, and because of that,

I was afraid to death that my one and only friend would find me, not only an attention-seeking prat like

the students around me made me up to be, but a queer for liking a children's show. She told she

didn't mind it, and actually hadn't heard about it until I told her. She said she would give it a watch,

and actually said it was cute that I had some childish tastes still in me. That alone was enough to compensate

for all the crap I'd gone through for about a month.

For a brief moment, I was really excited - it was my first conversion ( although unintentional ), and it was with one

of my closest friends. However, because of these friendly exchange of words,

people have begun to give her a hard time. More often than not, I hear her mentioning my name whilst talking

with others in a tone that sounds a bit like arguing. This is where "Girl" comes in, and officially locks the

unbreakable stalemate between me and the newfound pegasister. Currently, I have no idea how she feels about

this, but I hope that she's okay. I feel guilty, knowing that just because of a conversation I wanted to have,

she was getting the same negative feedback that I received. "Girl" now acts like a real jerk to me and her,

and acts all betrayed, and not to mention, cynical. Girl never leaves me alone, and constantly pesters me about

this and that, making it impossible for me to concentrate - and devise some way to be able to talk on good terms

with my one and only friend again.

This is why I don't want to date until I get to college. ;_;

In a nutshell, how should I approach my friend? Should I apologize? Should I give her a hug? Wouldn't

that only circulate more rumors and cause even more awkwardness? Adults don't take me seriously, probably because

we're all high schoolers. Should I try explaining everything? I don't even think I can talk to her anymore

without triggering some reaction from the crowd of people that swarm my school. I literally hate everything

about my high school, the students, and my community as a whole. All I have - or rather, had, was her,

my family, and you guys - the internet. Forums are nice and all, but for the longest time, my one true wish

was to have a brony/pegasister friend - someone I could chat with about new episodes, or music we've

listened to, or things we love about the show in general. Someone who was there, somebody I can relate

to physically and emotionally. That wish was granted for a precious, set amount of time.

I know it seems like I'm overcomplicating things for myself, but I just don't want to make this whole ordeal

harder on her. I don't even know how she's faring with all of this - she may hate me now.

Damn you, life. )_)

[ZeroHero]

Well, for all you know, she may think nothing of this situation (which is probably the reason adults seem to ignore this when you bring it up to them). These things just tend to be ideas in your head. If both of you care for each other, both of you should be able to see each other without being bothered by what everyone else says about it. If you really feel the need to know how she feels about it, then just ask. Kind of just take each step at a time and see how she physically reacts (not just what she says). If she seems comfortable, just keep talking and being with her and wait for the whole thing to blow over as it probably should. I dunno, someone else might know better - I'm socially awkward, so yeah take it with a grain of salt, I guess. `^^

[Free2001]

What other people think about you doesn't matter, if you are happy with your life, that is all that matters. I've had jerks that hate on me because I'm a Brony, well I laugh at them, if they see they aren't as powerful in your life as they think they are, well they can't really do anything but give up and try and ruin someone else's life, which they will likely fail at. As for your friend, tell her what I'm telling you, if you feel like you really did something wrong, saying sorry is one of the best things you can do, but I would do it somewhere other then school if possible.

Hope this helps, and remember, there is always someone you can come to, when there is nowhere else to go.

[weesh]

Wow, this brings back a lot or memories of my own humiliations, struggles and bitterness in high school. I find it quite challenging to understand anyone longing to go back to that time. Moving to college was a blessing to me because even though I did alright, it was a fresh start a thousand miles from the high school. I also did not date until I got to college.

Just a few more observations:

*I find your honesty and openness refreshing. I seem to feel your emotions through only these words.

*In addition to the problems you detailed, I sensing some pride and bitterness in you that may be adding to the challenge. From "Nobody in this town" to the rest of that paragraph, there are generalizations and acusations. Hyperbole notwithstanding, this is a not a healthy place to be. I know because the bitterness I cultivated in my grade school years caused me to be angry and resentful for a further 5 years after I left high school. You will have a huge leg up on me if you can let this go while you are still there, especially to those who do not know they have wronged you. It colored my realtionships and affected how I acted towards others. When judging such a large group of people, it is very hard to see how others percieve me.

*You should reconnect with her with a humble attitude. Perhaps over the phone if that is more comfortable to you. She has already proven herself open minded and wasn't thrown by the first curveball that you sent her. I think it is important that she hears your feelings, but even more so that you hear hers. You should lead with how she is taking all of this. Yes having a friend is good for you and you may want to explain yourself, but a friend also shows how much they care about the other's wellfare.

[featherquill]

I'd first talk to this Girl. Sounds like she's the root of a lot of problems.

The way you're describing her, it doesn't sound like she's treating you as a joke: she actually thinks you are in a relationship with her. Set her straight on that first.

Then talk to your friend. She probably doesn't blame you for anything. I don't even see why she would. She chose to watch the show and she chose to let other people know that she watches it. No one would give her a hard time if she'd said it was crap. Honestly, her reaction to your being a brony makes me think she might have a crush on you. Or she thinks you're gay and she's excited to have a gay best friend, because girls will think like that sometimes. Either way, talking to her will resolve that.

If you want to start the conversation by apologizing, it can't hurt, but don't be surprised if her reaction is confused.

[Firebolt]

You should also give her the severed head of a Bloodthirster when you start talking again.

Chicks dig Bloodsthirters.

As for "Girl"....ignore her.....

[3arlGrey]

Thanks for the input you guys. Oh, and uh, Firebolt too, I guess.. Bloodthirsters, what?

Anyways, I managed to get a call with my friend. We didn't talk much, and she said she needed

to talk with me about something important when the weekend was over, then signed off. Haven't

heard from her since.

Also, that Girl apparently got a hold of my number, and has been spamming me for the past few

hours. I ignore them. Hopefully, I'll have an "important" discussion with her on monday too.

If it'll do me any good, wish me luck, because I'm not in high spirits right now..

..oh, better go finish that WIP..

[Firebolt]

No problem, homesteak, just adding a little humor to the mix.

Oh, and Bloodthirsters are these:

http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Bloodthirster#.Tx8C6YF2i2Y

[flutterscotch]

You can take minor solace in the fact that in 4 short years this won't matter whatsoever.

"Girl" is probably DEEPLY insecure, and probably on some level actually likes you but is afraid that some stupid unspoken rule within her peer group would make you unsuitable due to all kinds of ridiculous factors, even extending to the fact simply that "Girl" is interested in someone her friends are not. Not that you should take it as a compliment because she obviously has some serious boundary issues. I personally would have taken the epic revenge route (i.e. professing my "love" for her in an epic and embarrassing way in front of a bunch of people and then laughing at her), but I was a total jerk at 14, so I am totally not advocating it.

But you should be too harsh on your peers, even though most of them are morons at this stage in their lives (I know, I was one of those high school morons). It's the rare person that has their head on straight enough to NOT be a total "arrogant jerk" (usually a mask for insecurity, which some of them never outgrow) when they are in high school, but eventually you even out and get along with people you never thought you would. Yes, even the person you hate/fear or are disgusted by the most at this moment in your life might grow up to be an OK person, and even feel BAD and embarrassed by their behavior when they were younger.

Case in point: when I was 13 or so I was constantly bullied to the point that I had to change schools. I could not get an 8th grade education because I could not stay out of In School Suspension because this huge guy (Note: I am a girl. I have been 5'4" since I was 11 years old) was always being completely horrible to me, throwing stuff at me, organizing others to beat the crap out of me, stealing my books and personal stuff, etc. Just a month ago, I ran into him in a bar in the town I used to live in. Didn't even know it was him, until he came up and apologized to me for being suck a jerk to me. 20 years ago. If there's hope for that guy, there's hope for almost anyone.

Just keep it in your head that they're stupid for a variety of reasons that aren't NECESSARILY just inborn jerk-assery (although I am sure a few are), and they might have things going on in their lives that cause them to behave that way, and that should help the satellite issues surrounding most of your troubles. Basically, most of the people in your town are probably just unhappy and take it out on others, probably not even intentionally in most cases (or in the case of your peers, they might have been raised that way). Could you imagine if your own parents behaved the same way towards you that the jerks in your school act towards you? Because some of that is definitely happening. Not to mention you get a group of people with not terribly-firm grasps of the way the world really works in a huge group together people just in generally act worse than they would one-on-one.

It's no excuse, but knowing that might make it easier to bear. Sure it sucks now, but you'll be surprised at how your perception of time changes in a few years.

I am actually a firm advocate of not seriously dating until you are in college and meet people that you CHOOSE to hang out with vs. who you're stuck with in your hometown. People tend to be a be just a tiny bit more stable once they're more sure of what they want to do in life.

[weesh]

Case in point: when I was 13 or so I was constantly bullied to the point that I had to change schools. I could not get an 8th grade education because I could not stay out of In School Suspension because this huge guy (Note: I am a girl. I have been 5'4" since I was 11 years old) was always being completely horrible to me, throwing stuff at me, organizing others to beat the crap out of me, stealing my books and personal stuff, etc. Just a month ago, I ran into him in a bar in the town I used to live in. Didn't even know it was him, until he came up and apologized to me for being suck a jerk to me. 20 years ago. If there's hope for that guy, there's hope for almost anyone.

Whoa. Am I right in surmising that you consider the apology a positive experience? I wonder if I would rather my bullies just stayed out of my life forever.

[flutterscotch]

Whoa. Am I right in surmising that you consider the apology a positive experience? I wonder if I would rather my bullies just stayed out of my life forever.

I am not saying it wasn't awkward as hell, and I am not saying I wouldn't have preferred to not have had those memories dredged up, but it did renew my faith in humanity ever so slightly that even that guy has a conscience.

[3arlGrey]

So sorry for bumping this thread too often to people who don't care, but I've basically got everything covered.

On the circumstances with my friend, we've made up. It turns out that she herself was really worried

about me over the weekend. She thought the show was incredibly cute, and understood why I liked it,

and although she's not very deep into it yet, she actually held a conversation with me about the first

few episodes - which has been my dream for a long while. I asked her if she thought I was gay -

she just giggled and said "why would I think that?"

Monday passed by with the usual flak, and I was really starting to get irritated. My friend didn't mind,

and seeing me, came up with an idea. Since today, we've started "dating," or at least, spread that

kind of word around and made it look like it. When that happened, I ended up seeing less of that Girl,

and started getting pushed around less. Guess there wasn't as much excitement to indulge in, so

the plan worked out pretty well, and jockies didn't have as much to gossip about.

Because of that, I now have more time to spend with my friend and less with roughhousing bullies, so I'm content.

Even though I'm glad the Girl's no longer bothering me, seeing you guys, I've decided that I should probably

talk to her at some point tomorrow or the day after, just to set things straight. After seeing everypony's

input on this, I resolved that even if I don't like my town, even though it's pretty much a trash heap of

gangsters and the regular stereotypes, I could find decent people like my friend. Or, understandably,

my "date." If not, then maybe turn them for the good. It's not fair to just brand everypony based on the

world I live in - if so, then why would people like my friend exist?

So thanks all.

Unrelated note: My application has been accepted, but I can't post any threads or post in any topics

as of yet. Do I need some kind of registration somewhere or a stamp of approval from the admin himself?

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Unrelated note: My application has been accepted, but I can't post any threads or post in any topics

as of yet. Do I need some kind of registration somewhere or a stamp of approval from the admin himself?

Are you sure it was Accepted and not Assessed? If it's been Accepted and you still can't post, PM a Moderator.

[3arlGrey]

Are you sure it was Accepted and not Assessed? If it's been Accepted and you still can't post, PM a Moderator.

Eh, actually, it was Assessed. Sorry.

..What does that mean?

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Eh, actually, it was Assessed. Sorry.

..What does that mean?

You have no idea how many times other users have done the same thing.

To answer your question: Applications here are pending Moderator action.