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Shadowtread [Final]

DantonDamnark

By DantonDamnark
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DantonDamnark Parasprite

DantonDamnark

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Roleplay Type: World of Equestria RP

Name: Shadowtread (also goes by Shadow)

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye Color: Light Grey

Coat Color: Dark Grey

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style:

  • Mane - Spiked forward with spiked "Sideburns"; Chalky-White
  • Tail - Unkempt; Chalky-White
  • Markings - Hooves are fairly white but fades to the normal grey halfway up his legs.

Physique: Average

Cutie Mark: An eye that seems fades into his coat the closer it gets to his flank

Origin/Residence: Hoofington

Occupation: Courier

Motivation: Live everyday to the fullest

Likes: Shadows, (what most consider) scary things, things that are Evil, his Sister

Dislikes: "Goodie goods" [Very good ponies], Kill-Joys, Hospitals, Most foals

Character Summary:

Shadowtread was born in the Ponyville Hospital along with his twin sister, Seashore. His father, a Pegasus, and his Mother, an Earth Pony, were surprised at the sight of their new son being a Unicorn while their daughter was an Earth Pony. Shadowtread was named after his great-grandfather, Cloudtread.

Though he is seen as having a harsh personality today, Shadowtread still has a link to his innocent, foal-self. His stuffed animal, Whiskers the Cat. Shadow rarely has a good night's sleep without her. And though he often hides her from even his closest friends but does not mind his sister knowing he is holding on to Whiskers.

Shadowtread's school career could be summed up in one word: troublemaker. He wasn't one of those ponies who made trouble to get attention or to make friends, he did it because it was fun. One could go on and on about the stunts Shadowtread pulled in school. Birds in the drawers, roller-skates on the desks, glue on the chairs. There was almost no limit to what he would do for a good life. But there were one thing he would never do. Anything that would hurt his sister or get her in trouble.

One day during school, Shadowtread saw another colt harassing his sister. Shadow then pushed him off the swing and told him to stop it. Later that day, the colt Shadow knocked down told his bigger brother. That brother met up with Shadow in the park that day. The colt was chased Shadowtred into a dark alley where he cornered Shadow. Shadow started to panic in fear. Suddenly, Shadowtred's horn glowed red. This was followed by the dark shadows around him turning into 2 black bodied, red eyes snakes that drove the big, bully colt running in terror. Shadowtred was mesmerized by these dark snakes that faded like dust shortly after the colt disappeared. These snakes, though they were created from shadows, seemed familiar... Almost like they were part of Shadotread.

Shadowtread spent many of the next days trying to duplicate the spell from that fateful day, but to no success. He then tried make a similar spell, based on that other spell. This resulted in himself disappearing, however it was limited to dark areas and he could not move. Nevertheless, this is when Shadowtread's Cutie Mark to appear. To him, his Cutie Mark represented deception and how he could disappear from sight.

These days, Shadowtread lives with his sister in Hooflington. Though he does not admit it, it is because he feels "incomplete" without Seashore. In fact, he is almost always very lonely when Shore takes her trips to the beach. As much as he would like to be with her, Shadow can't stand the beach and is not hesitant to express it. He stays home because Shore doesn't like his complaining, it ruins her good time.

Shadowtread has a job at his sisters request. He is a courier for the Equestiran Mail Service. Though they normally employee Pegasi, Shadowtread is part of a unique division where he usually must deliver packages through dangers where Magic is more useful than flying. Shadowtread got this job because he enjoys a challenge, however most runs are ordinary and nothing special.

Most of Shadowtread's friends are not typical to most ponies, such as Sparky, a Diamond Dog. One could lose track of time trying to figure out how he met these strange acquaintances, though the fact is he met most of them in or around the Whitetail Forest.

Edited by DantonDamnark
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GingerbreadSpy Parasprite

GingerbreadSpy

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Well, uh... most ponies here aren't sticklers for grammar and spelling. So, I'm going to ignore all those errors except for one. Please, PLEASE, for the love of Celestia, spell unicorn correctly. Unicron makes me think of something from Transformers or something. Anyway, I'm not a help staff or anything, but I think there might be a couple of issues for your app.

First, Shadowtred doesn't quite sound like a pony name (and, uh, it kind of sounds misspelled... Did you mean Shadowtread?) Maybe something more like Shadowtrot? Second... umm... I'm not sure about the magic he has (or his cutie mark being able to fade... I think cutie marks are supposed to stay pretty static and unchanging and everything)... It sounds like it has the potential to be overpowered (particularly the part about making ponies see things and making your pony blend into the shadows or become invisible or whatever... that sounds like really powerful magic... ).

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DantonDamnark Parasprite

DantonDamnark

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Well, uh... most ponies here aren't sticklers for grammar and spelling. So, I'm going to ignore all those errors except for one. Please, PLEASE, for the love of Celestia, spell unicorn correctly.

Ugh, my spellchecker failed on me, again. Thanks for reminding me.

First, Shadowtred doesn't quite sound like a pony name (and, uh, it kind of sounds misspelled... Did you mean Shadowtread?) Maybe something more like Shadowtrot?

Thank you for pointing that out! I've been using that name for several weeks and no pony has pointed that out!

Second... umm... I'm not sure about the magic he has (or his cutie mark being able to fade... I think cutie marks are supposed to stay pretty static and unchanging and everything)...

His Cutie Mark appears to fade. It doesn't really fade, it just blends into his coat.

It sounds like it has the potential to be overpowered (particularly the part about making ponies see things and making your pony blend into the shadows or become invisible or whatever... that sounds like really powerful magic... ).

His magic is actually very limited. The magnitude of what he can make ponies see is based on their "mind-strength". And because they are illusions, they cannot directly effect others.

His Shadow Magic is also limited. If he melds into a shadow, he cannot move from there without the effect nullifying, just as light shined there would do the same thing.

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Bramble Rose Wonderbolt

Bramble Rose

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First, I do like this character, once he reaches his adulthood. It seems like an interesting sort of character - neat magical abilities, a nice job, and yet lazy.

however, your description of his infancy ...

Obviously, an infant unicorn has bursts of magic ... but that goes away, after that, until they're older once more.

Even a really powerful magic user like Twilight was several *years* old before she started actually using her magic, and even then it was difficult to do as much as turn a page.

"Developing" his own custom spell when he's five months old... before most ponies learn to TALK ... that's ...

Well, that's just ridiculous.

And likewise, getting a cutie mark before he even has an understanding of cutie marks? That's ... very unponylike. Exactly what did that infant *understand* so deeply about what's important to him that he got a cutie mark at such a ridiculously young age?

And why, if a central part of his personality is that he's lazy ... is he so ridiculously far ahead of every other pony in existance, having a world-record on 'early' for his cutie mark?

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Bramble Rose Wonderbolt

Bramble Rose

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Yes, as I was saying - and as was said in the thread about how to incorporate that episode into our board canon - the infants have bursts of wild magic, but that goes away after the first several months, and they have to *consciously* learn how to control it in order to do anything with it after that.

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brianblackberry Alicorn

brianblackberry

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Reading over the application, only a couple things that stand out of any concern to me:

Mentioning where his cutie mark is. Plot is a meta/fandom term, so I rather avoid using it as a description here; besides flank is much more accurate in describing the location of one's cutie mark and is an actual term for that hip location.

Was he ever able to duplicate his original spell when he was chanced in that alley as an adult? What did those two snakes mean to him as you say they mesmerized him? What does his cutie mark symbolize to him? Given its importance to a pony, one would think he would contemplate it at least but there isn't anything about that.

Other than these two thoughts, I think I app is set. :)

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DantonDamnark Parasprite

DantonDamnark

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Reading over the application, only a couple things that stand out of any concern to me:

Mentioning where his cutie mark is. Plot is a meta/fandom term, so I rather avoid using it as a description here; besides flank is much more accurate in describing the location of one's cutie mark and is an actual term for that hip location.

Was he ever able to duplicate his original spell when he was chanced in that alley as an adult? What did those two snakes mean to him as you say they mesmerized him? What does his cutie mark symbolize to him? Given its importance to a pony, one would think he would contemplate it at least but there isn't anything about that.

Other than these two thoughts, I think I app is set. :)

Thanks for the tips. I knew there was something I missed.

How is this Application coming along?

Still not receiving notifications for some reason... But I am working on the App.

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