sevofthesands Posted April 16, 2012 Report Share Posted April 16, 2012 Roleplay Type: Equestria mane RPName: Eagle EyeSex: MaleAge: StallionSpecies: Earth PonyEye Color: Emerald GreenCoat Color: Ghostly whiteMane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Jet Black that is kinda long and straightPhysique: Very slim build but regular heightCutie Mark: Scales with one side filled with bits and a bandit's mask. The other side of the scales has papers that say law&order, and a judge's gavel. The side with the money and the bandit's mask represents his brothers' mischief and the temptation of greed and avarice, and the other side represents Eagle's aspirations to be a lawyer and his strong sense of justice.Origin/Residence: Born and raised in Manehatten. He still lives there, but travels with his brother occasionallyOccupation: Currently studying to be a law studentMotivation: Eagle has three goals in life: 1. to be a Great lawyer 2. to give his brothers a better life 3. do the other two while staying within his own ethicsLikes: (optional) Justice, his brothers, law abiding pony'sDislikes: (optional) Injustice, his brothers antics, povertyCharacter Summary: Family: he has three brothers: Lucky Chance, Wine&Dine, and Show&Tell. Their parents are deceased; they died from sickness.Cutie Mark story: When Eagle Eye was young, there was a time when his brothers were framed for somepony else's crime, and Eagle would not stand for it. He spent 4 months between keeping his brothers straight as a lace and finding evidence to acquit his brothers of the crime (as mom and pop were too busy with work to help, plus they were one of the ones who thought they did it). Many times during this, Eagle had a chance to go to the darkside and take the easy way out to clear their name's (a not so nice pony offered to get them out if paid), or just leave them in jail, but he stuck to it and succeeded on his terms, earning his mark, the balancing scales.Flaws: When stressed he tends overthink things and talk very rapidly and can occasionally be prone to smacking his brothers upside the head.Personality: Due to his being the only responsible one in the family, he tends to put on a serous persona or a calm personality. In truth, he has the family Mischievousness as well, but usually he can control himself better than his bros. When he can't control himself, he has been known to be bit like Wine and be a charmer. He also has been known to pick out easy targets for his brothers, though he usually feels bad about it afterwards and tries to stop the mischief from happening. He tends to try to stop his brothers by accompanying them, usually with hilarious results. He never calls the cops on his brothers, because family comes first.Abilities: Eagle Eye's name is not just for show. He is a master of spotting crime and injustice due to living with his 3 conpony brothers. He also has a courtroom charm to him, as he is known for having a calm and reasoning voice that ponies tend to listen to, and he has studied of the laws of Equestria. He knows how they work in most towns and cities, and the loopholes that he sometimes has to exploit for greater justice, but unless it is a truly special case, he won't, and he has been known to try to close loopholes when he finds them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 How is this Application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted April 22, 2012 Report Share Posted April 22, 2012 Any progress on this Application? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted April 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 22, 2012 some but im have internet difficultys so expect some inactivity Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted April 26, 2012 Report Share Posted April 26, 2012 If you can't get online a lot, it might be good if you saved the character in a document and worked on the Application off site. That way, you don't have to worry about the staff bugging you for progress or about losing character information. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted April 28, 2012 Report Share Posted April 28, 2012 Any progress on this Application? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted April 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 28, 2012 i set it to final for judgement *in royal Canterlot voice*BE HARSH YE MODS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Armony Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 I'm curious about some of the details you've left out when writing his cutie mark story. What sort of crime did his brothers supposedly commit when they were younger? What evidence was everypony looking at when they began accusing them? What evidence did they miss that proved their innocence? What is this "easy way out" that he could have taken to illegally clear their names?Your summary could do with some expansion in other parts as well. What sorts of things does Eagle Eye do when he's not studying and dealing with his brothers' mischief? You say that he usually can control himself better than his family; what does he do during the times when he can't keep himself in line?Also, you say that he sometimes exploits loopholes in law; will he do this for somepony who has very obviously done wrong, or only to save somepony from being punished for something silly? Has he ever tried to suggest that these loopholes be closed, or that silly laws be rewritten or abolished?Taking some time to think about these things and including them into his character summary will do wonders for expanding upon who he is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted May 3, 2012 Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 How is this Application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted May 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 slowly but surly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted May 6, 2012 Report Share Posted May 6, 2012 Any progress on this Application? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 If a comment is not made saying you would like to keep this character, it will be removed in 5 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted May 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 im keeping it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted May 14, 2012 Report Share Posted May 14, 2012 Any progress on this Application? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted May 17, 2012 Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 How is this Application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted May 20, 2012 Report Share Posted May 20, 2012 If a comment is not made saying you would like to keep this character, it will be removed in 5 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted May 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2012 i, keeping him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted May 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2012 edited and reset to final. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted May 24, 2012 Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 Greetings, after reading the application, I am left with a few questions.Personality: due to his being the only responsible one in the family he tends to put on a serous persona or a calm personality but in truth he has the family Mischievousness as well but usually can control himself better than his bros but when he can't control himself he has been known to be bit like Wine and be a charmer he also has been known to pick out easy targets for his brothersGiven he wishes to be a lawyer and seek justice, especially of the innocent (presumingly), I find it odd he would occasionally take the opposite route and "pick out easy targets for his brothers". How does he feel about this occasional criminal hypocrisy on his part? Does this trouble him? Does he feel wracked with guilt? Does he attempt to justify it?If his brothers are criminal, how does he feel about it? Does he ever activity attempt to dissuade them from their criminal activities? Or look the other way? Does he put family above justice or the other way around, and how does this affect their relationship? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted May 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2012 edited its mostly in the personality section. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Alrighty, it seems that you cover the basics of what I was asking for. However, reading the application I noticed one problem throughout. Your paragraphs contain no punctuation whatsoever. This makes the whole thing difficult to read, which is a problem if the same thing occurs in RP. Please grammar check (or have someone proofread) to place in puncuation because right now each paragraph is one long run-on sentence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sevofthesands Posted May 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 there edited Grammar my one weakness >:U Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted May 25, 2012 Report Share Posted May 25, 2012 Better, but I still feel that you need to run your application through some online grammar check app or have a friend proofread it; because this will also be true for the RP itself (heck I even have a friend proofread my stuff before I post for RP). For example, I just took your first paragraph and proofed, it, you can instantly see the difference: Cutie Mark story: When Eagle Eye was young there was a time when his brothers were framed for somepony else's crime and Eagle would not stand for it. he spent 4 months between keeping his brothers straight as a lace and finding evidence to acquit his brothers of the crime. (as mom and pop wee too busy with work to help plus they were one of the ones who thought they did it.) many times during this Eagle had a chance to go to the darkside and take the easy way out to clear their name's, (a not so nice pony offered to get them out if paid.)or just leave them in jail but he stuck to it and succeeded on his terms earning his mark the balancing scales.Cutie Mark story: When Eagle Eye was young there was a time when his brothers were framed for somepony else's crime and Eagle would not stand for this travesty of justice. He spent the next four months juggling between keeping his brothers straight as a lace and finding evidence to acquit his brothers of the crime, (as mom and pop were a wee too busy with work to help plus they believed their sons were indeed guilty). Many times during this Eagle had a chance to go over to the dark side and take the easy way out to clear their names, (a not so nice pony offered to get them out through bribery). Or simply to leave them in jail, but he stuck to it and succeeded on proving their innocence using his lawyer skill that he had acquired over this period, thus earning his mark, the balancing scales. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 How is this Application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted June 2, 2012 Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 If a comment is not made saying you would like to keep this character, it will be removed in 5 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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