Unicorn The Equestioner [Final]

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Roleplay Type: Mane

Name: "The Equestioner" is what he calls himself, but he lets ponies call him "Lon".

Sex: Male

Age: Stallion

Species: Unicorn

Eye Color: Dark Green

Coat Color: Light brown, tan dots around his hooves and forehead.

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Short black mane, long, full black tail.

Physique: Wide hoofed with bigger than average eyes

Cutie Mark: Three blue question marks all sharing the same point.

Origin/Residence: Unknown/A large hole he dug in a hill nearby Ponyville

Occupation: Questionare Extrodinare, looking into being a detective

Motivation: Life's mysteries

Likes: Puzzles, riddles, questions, answers, and finding clues to his past.

Dislikes: Silence, Givaways, and loud sounds

Character Summary: Silence is welcome in the home of The Equestioner. In his hill home he dug out himself, he can sit back, get a question that was submitted to him off of his desk, then stare out the window and ponder. He can think for an hour on a single question, at which point his timer goes off and he moves on to the next question. There are just too many questions in the world for him to do more than an hour on one alone.

The name Lon was given to him by neighborhood jokesters. As a foal, he would often sit out on the lawn of his parent's house. They joked that he actually became part of the lawn itself he sat there so long. And he decided to go along with it. He didn't know how to spell too well at the time, so he wrote his name as "Lon" instead of "Lawn". His birth name wasn't used even by his parents because of his insistance to keep 'Lon', so it has been forgotten by everyone but his and him.

His cutie mark appeared when he won his school's game of Jepony (Jepordy for those who don't get the pun). He had the highest score any of the teachers had ever seen. Needless to say, he still has his trophy on his wall.

He had a foalhood earth pony friend named Reina. She was born blind, while Lon was born sensitive to bright flashes of color. But besides the opposites of the eyes, they were perfect for each other. Lon would come up with questions, Reina would come up with answers. Or at the best, a hypothesis. Everyone that saw them growing up would say they were going to get married someday.

Then trajedy struck. While he was a colt, his parents died from a failed train car link that sent their car flying off a cliff. Lon was sent to his aunt and uncle, far away from Reina. Having everyone he had ever loved torn away from him in less than a week, Lon started asking life more depressing questions. He grew detatched from everypony, not wanting to get hurt again.As soon as he became a fully fledged stallion, he left his aunt and uncle's house and took the next train back to where Reina lived. But the house was empty. He of course inquired the nieghbors about Reina's whereabouts, but it turns out that Lon leaving had sent Reina into a simalar slum that he had been in. Blaming himself, he set out with a new purpose in life: Find Reina.

He often finds himself helping other ponies when they are confused. He gives them answers that are straightforward and will avoid lying to anyone unless they irritate him, which only happens when he doesn't get answers. He found that he is particularly good at finding out what is going wrong in a bad relationship between two ponies, and uses this talent to abolish that wrong in the relationship so the two can get along. He has actually taken a self appointed job as a relationship counselor. He counsels by asking questions that lead to the root of the problem where, hopefully, the two other ponies see what there is between them and resolve to get rid of it in one way or another. He found this job after he had helped an arguing couple become friends again and saw the potential in it for some bits. He is not greedy with his job though, and doesn't ask for payment unless the couple is satisfied.

He has trouble fitting in with others at the start of meeting them because of his habit of asking every pony he meets a series of questions he has written on a list. Most of the questions on the list are related to his past, but some are just to get to know the other pony.

He tries to find Reina by saving up bits for verbal advertisements to send throught Equestria and hiring private investigators. He has not lost heart over the many dead ends he has come across on his search, but the big question remains:

"Where are you Reina?"

"Life is full of questions. Whenever I find one I write it down and put it in that crate over there. Or if the crate is full, I put it on top of the pile on my desk. Do you ever think of questions? if you don't have questions, then I have some for you. What is beyond Equestria? What is the taste difference between cheese wheels and cheese cubes? Why is it that there are no queens here? Those are very popular questions that happen in my mind. but they will be figured out eventually. By me or some other pony who likes mysteries.But still most likely by me."

"Now, before I go on rambling about everything I have discovered, everything found, and everthing that had once been forgoten, I need to know something from you. How would you like to go on an adventure?"

"No? You're never going to find anything out that way."

"Yes? Then where would you like to start? I suggest with the crate. There's bound to be something good in there."

[MyLittlePonyTales]

How is this Application coming along?

Also, could you please not bold the entire Application?

[ONWARDconwardicus]

It's going good, I just want to find a name better than Lon Lee, because my friends told me it's not pony enough.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Could you please not bold half of your Application? Bolding the description titles is fine, but not a whole chunk of the Application for no reason.

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Sure. That's what the rubric said to to but i'll unbold.

[brianblackberry]

Greetings,

Reading the application, I have a few questions about the character, the first and foremost being what is his given name (the name his folks gave him)? I as because I can't see anyone naming their foal "the Equestioner". Does he know what this name is at all? OF course if he doesn't, how did he get the current name he has?

Age: 22

As a rule, we don't use number ages for ponies based on the fact we don't know how long they live or how fast they grow up (although we assume it is roughly equivalent to a human life span). Instead it is best to use the following: foal (pony equivalent of a young child), colt/filly (pony equivalent of a teen), and stallion/mare (pony equivalent of an adult), of course additional descriptive adjectives are fine (such as elderly, older, middle-age, young, etc).

The amnesia story is alright (although not personally found of it as it is often use as an "easy out"for not pre-developing a character), however I still feel that his character should be expanded upon some. Why did he settle upon the hill instead of actively seeking help elsewhere? Does he try to actively attempt to find out where he is from? Granted Equestria isn't a very sophisticated civilization but they likely have some ability in giving him a clue of who he may have been. Of course now that he is aware again, does he have any purpose for himself (outside of finding out who he is), or at the least a way to support himself? His cutie mark (gotten presumingly before his amnesia) points to an inquisitive nature; whatever it represents (and definitely have it represent something) , how does that talent manifest itself in him and what does he use it for?

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Thank you for the constructive questions. I did have a character pre made when i came to this site, but then i read some rules and i had to abandon him. i will get started on it right away.

And to all that are reading, have a nice day!

Edit: Hope that sattisfies some questions, though i probably created more. i have background info on him, I just wanted to portray some of it in the forums.

[brianblackberry]

My main question in reading the application is why a relationship counselor? Does he have a special knack for understanding interpersonal relationships? If this is his special talent, that of course is fine, but it should be noted this is what his special talent is just as an FYI to the players even if in character he isn’t aware of this fact. I would also recommend (although you do not have to mention this part in the application) that you have an idea of what *did* happen to him, so you have a plot hook and a story to build upon as he attempts to piece back together that puzzle in RP.

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Thanks for the guidance. I will take those into account.

[brianblackberry]

Thanks for the guidance. I will take those into account.

Alrighty, just mention it when you are ready to have the app looked at again.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

How is this Application coming along?

[brianblackberry]

The name Lon was given to him by a tattered note he found in the crater while creating his house. The words had become smudged and unreadable, but the "Dear Lon" at the top was distinguishable enough, along with a signature at the bottom fo the note that read, "Waiting for you, Reina" He sent out advertisements to the corners of Equestria hoping to find Reina and some memory, but no reply was ever heard. While he saves up on bits to send out more waves of advertisements doing a job as a relationship counselor, he hides his feelings that he has been abandoned by everything, and thus only goes into a situation when there is some serrious answering to do. He counsels by asking questions that lead to the root of the problem where, hopefully, the two other ponies see what there is between them and resolve to get rid of it in one way or another..

He often finds himself helping other ponies when they are confused. He gives them answers that are straightforward and will avoid lying to anyone unless they irritate him, which only happens when he doesn't get answers. He found that he is particularly good at finding out what is going wrong in a bad relationship between two ponies, and uses this talent to abolish that wrong in the relationship so the two can get along. He refuses to let this be his special talent though, because he knows he already has one thanks to his cutie mark.

The part that notes he is a relationship counselor would be much better served if it starts off the second paragraph, which focuses on his abilities and methods in counseling. Focus the first paragraph about his initial past (the falling from the sky, his home, his attempt to find out what the note means, etc).

I would also like to hear why he elected to become a relationship counselor; what lead him to the conclusion that this would be his job (since for the sake of his story, the exact meaning of his cutie mark is left vague). I say this because it isn't a job one just stumbles into one day by making the decision to do so with a specific motivation or specific circumstance that lead him to go down that path.

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Paragraph placement will be changed, and I'll add some whys in too. I never knew pony creation could be this hard.

[brianblackberry]

Paragraph placement will be changed, and I'll add some whys in too. I never knew pony creation could be this hard.

I don't feel it is difficult. It is more than just pony creation, it is character creation, and I will say from experience in RP and writing, the deeper and thought out the character is, the much easier it is to write with them and the much more interesting they will be in RP. What I am doing is just trying to help you make a character you will truly enjoy telling the story of through the RP; in short you are telling a story through interactivity with other people.

[ONWARDconwardicus]

It's part of my disability that makes it hard. My thoughts in my head are hard to get down in a hard copy, and I have a hard time seeing in other's points of view. I like writing and roleplaying, but it never seems to come out right.

[brianblackberry]

It's part of my disability that makes it hard. My thoughts in my head are hard to get down in a hard copy, and I have a hard time seeing in other's points of view. I like writing and roleplaying, but it never seems to come out right.

Don't hesitate to ask friends for proofreading, and suggestions on how to add such information, or for grammar and spelling. Heck, ask one of us here; we are here to help!

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Thanks for the support. I think i will use that in the future.

Oh, and the application is going good Tales

[MyLittlePonyTales]

I just check up on apps every few days.

Make sure you comment when you've addressed the things brian said.

[ONWARDconwardicus]

I think I changed that a long time ago and never mentionede it. Whoops... Anyway, those changes were made.

[brianblackberry]

Looks good, I'll add it to the list for final approval.

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Awesome! I can't wait to rolepaly with him!

[SunsetSombra]

Okay, looks like you have a pretty good character, almost ready to go...and I'd love to stamp him, really I would - but there is something that has brought my stamping to a standstill as I realise that there's a flaw in this application that I really need to inform you of.

The effects of Amnesia were immediatley apparent to the doctors when he woke up. He could not remember a thing about his past life or what he had been doing in the sky. He thinks best in the silence that is hard to get in the town of Ponyville, so he decided to stay in the crater he made, eventually turning it into a house. As a result of his amnesia he wants to find out everything he can to replace what was lost. This makes him pretty nosey..

Amnesia is a difficult and often needless addition to applications and tends to just wind up never really contributing all that much to RP - whilst the idea of a mystery background is a compelling INITIAL idea, very often you'll never have an opportunity to make good on a payoff, and thus render it as a completely wasted idea.

I notice also that your summary seems to rest upon this concept, and I'll have to say that while this is a clear inconvenience to the application as a whole, it's also got the benefit of you trying something new rather than relying on older and abused tropes such as mystery pasts and amnesia...

for example, perhaps Reina was somebody he knew as a foal and never heard from again until recently - there's bunches of unique ways you can still incorporate plenty of the desired elements of this application without relying on memory loss.

Hopefully you can find some way of handling this situation without deciding to kill the application, as I figure you could quite easily find a good happy medium that allows important elements of what you want without stepping on any toes that might hold it up any longer.

Good luck on your application, I look forward to seeing where it goes from here!

[ONWARDconwardicus]

I notice also that your summary seems to rest upon this concept, and I'll have to say that while this is a clear inconvenience to the application as a whole, it's also got the benefit of you trying something new rather than relying on older and abused tropes such as mystery pasts and amnesia...

for example, perhaps Reina was somebody he knew as a foal and never heard from again until recently - there's bunches of unique ways you can still incorporate elements of this application without relying on memory loss.

Hopefully you can find some way of handling this situation without deciding to kill the application, as I figure you could quite easily find a good happy medium that allows important elements of what you want without stepping on any toes that might hold it up any longer.

Good luck on your application, I look forward to seeing where it goes from here!

I think getting rid of the amnesia is possible, but it might take me a while. I'll do my best on it, but I will probably have to work a long hard day on it.

And thanks for the luck. I'll need it.

[ONWARDconwardicus]

Did I say a long day? I meant a good thrity minutes. Changes made.

[Armony]