Thunder Boomer

Editing your application to include your answers would be most helpful in expanding your pony's profile. Expanding even further upon them, would help even more.

Have you talked with Manestream about playing out the background with Applejack? What's going on with that?

Does the name "Marnax" have a particular meaning that I'm not aware of? Because as is, it doesn't sound like a particularly pony sounding name to me.

I read over this one more time, and I'm going to approve this, because it looks good to me. The only thing is that you may want to edit it with a brief explanation as to why she lives in her city apartment rather than her study. Simply because it may not be obvious to everyone.

"So what exactly are you planning to do? Why are we going to go 'deliver these flowers' to the wonderbolts?" Thunder Boomer replied in a low tone. Careful, so his voice did not carry."Because," he responded matter-of-factly "I'm going to swipe one of their uniforms." The pair reached the base of the stairs and Thunder Boomer glanced once more down the hallway to make sure they hadn't been spotted again, and then peered up the stairwell. "No turning back now." He stated as he started to climb. "You see," he whispered an explanation. It was time he offered her one. "I saw them bring in extra uniforms. Probably in case they spoiled one during the performance. That uniform is our ticket into the VIP section."

Having a talent for astronomy, it makes sense that she would want to get away from the city. She wouldn't want to stargaze there. Too much light pollution. I take it that she only has the apartment so she can be close to her bakery job? I don't have a problem with her working in a bakery. Not everypony can immediately get a job that features their special talents. I do find it interesting that she doesn't think she can pursue a career in astronomy simply because she's an earth pony, but perhaps this is a plot device. Canterlot has an observatory. Has she ever considered traveling there?

One thing I'd hesitate against is the use of numbers as a time measurement. Simply because we don't know how long Equestrian ponies live, or how they measure time.

Genuine meteors that don't totally burn up in the atmosphere are actually pretty rare (And can be quite valuable). So, not only does a talent where she can call down space rocks seem too powerful, it also seems to ruin how rare these rocks are. They're not rare if she can produce them whenever she wants. Perhaps a better talent would be her ability to find meteorites and meteorite fragments. It could possibly work like Rarity's ability to find gems, or be something more unique. A lot of Meteorites tend to be high in iron. So perhaps she knows a spell that allows her horn to act like a magnet and lead her to where a meteorite might be buried.

One thing I'd hesitate against is the use of numbers as a time measurement. Simply because we don't know how long Equestrian ponies live, or how they measure time.

Hooves clopping on the hard cobblestone floor, Thunder Boomer led CookieSweets further away from the party. As the sounds of the Gala started to fade away, they came upon two, brightly lit hinged doors. The sounds of a busy kitchen echoed from behind them. As the pair neared the doors, a frustrated-and-soon-to-be-surprised looking waiter burst from behind them, carrying a silver platter. He didn't seem to pleased to have discovered Thunder Boomer and CookieSweets in this part of the castle. However, Thunder Boomer was a quick thinker and also prepared himself if this sort of thing should happen. "Excuse me sir," he asked "We're supposed to deliver these flowers to the Wonderbolt's dressing room. It's down this hallway, correct?" He shifted his wing to draw attention to the bouquet he had tucked under it. The waiter nodded quickly and maneuvered around them. He seemed in a hurry to get the platter of food out before it got cold. "Yes, down the hall and up the flight of stairs. Last door on the right. Excuse me." He added and hurried his way in the direction of the party. "Splendid." Thunder Boomer smiled smugly. As he continued on as quickly and as inconspicuously as he could manage.

"Even if you were busy then, at least you know the layout a bit.... I'm just trying to stay in the lighted area's though. Even if the garden seems like it would be nice to see." "I do, a little bit." Fizzy admitted. "But I didn't get to do much exploring outside. The garden does sound nice. Why don't you want to go out there? Are you afraid of the dark?" It was an air-headed question. Of course a pony dressed in a spiderweb themed dress and talking about being spooky wasn't going to be afraid of the dark. Fizzy continued the small talk for a few more minutes before the two of them were approached by the handsome and seemingly eccentric gold colored stallion. He seemed to know Willow Wisp as he showered the black unicorn with compliments. "Oh, where are mah manners! Mah name is Braeburn, hailing all the way from APPPPLEOSIA! An' ah'm plumb tickled t'meet y'all, Miss ... ?" Fizzy giggled at Braeburn's energy as she lifted a hoof and tried to remember some etiquette. "Fizzy." She offered, finishing his sentence. "It's a pleasure to meet you. . . Gosh. Appleoosa. That's a long way to come for just a party ."

Thunder Boomer's face lit up in a mischievous grin as CookieSweets agreed to go with him. "Excellent!" He reached across the table to the and plucked the flowers out of a decorative vase before wrapping them in a fancy gold napkin and tucking them neatly under one of his wings. "Stay close to me, let me do the talking, and if there's serious trouble, cry and deny everything". He instructed before pushing away from the table and headed away from the buffet, across the ballroom floor and down the side-hallway he had seen the uniforms go. This was going to take some sneakiness and finesse. He wasn't too worried though. Act like you know what you're doing, and nobody ever questions you.

This looks good to me.

"Well I-I don't know I think I'm set with my connections" Thunder Boomer stared in disbelief as the CookieSweets seemed to fidget and make up some rather lame excuses not to go with him. He blinked. Really? She had just gone on about how she wanted to drum up connections to help her business. "Oh c'mon." He huffed quietly and rolled his eyes. "And um maybe I should just go to the garden or something I'm sure you don't want to actually hang out with a pony like me right?" "You're kidding. Pulling my leg right? You're honestly telling me you'd rather go watch plants grow rather then hobnob with Equestria's pop-stars and celebrities? Do you know how lame that sounds?" Thunder Boomer frowned as Cookie Sweets seemed to turn into an entirely different pony as she stuttered and lowered her gaze. Shy? Oh Gods, she was one of those wasn't she. Probably took all of her courage just to sit at down at the table and he had just knocked the wind out of her sails. Well. He couldn't allow that. She'd become a challenge now. "I. . . . um maybe I should just leave you alone and go sit some where else I don't want to over step my boundaries anymore than I have" "Not so fast." He gestured at her. "Next you're going to tell me you have to wash your mane I bet. Well, you're not ditching me that fast". He rested his elbows on the table and balanced his head in his hooves as he gave her a wink. "This'll be much easier for me if you just agree to tag along."

Networking. Networking and because she got a pretty invitation in the mail. Same story as probably most the ponies here. How dull. Thunder Boomer had called it. She was bland. Now what to do? Eat some more and politely excuse himself? There didn't seem to be much fun in that. Thunder Boomer never was one for small talk. "Why not make this party something you'd like" Thunder Boomer rubbed his chin thoughtfully at this. "Make it something I like huh?. . ." A mischievous idea had been nagging at Thunder Boomer since he arrived and witnessed a Valet rolling some uniforms down a side hallway. He thought about it a little while longer. Why the hay not, you couldn't have fun with out a little adventure. Thunder Boomer glanced at CookieSweets sizing her up with an intent look on his face. "Okay, Sweetsy". He said, giving her a nickname, or perhaps he had forgotten her name already. Regardless, he had totally passed by giving her his own name. "How'd you like to try and get into the VIP lounge?" He tempted her by saying, "Seems like you'd get some pretty sweet connections that way." His eyes lit up and he gave her a most charming grin. Thunder Boomer had already decided he was going to try it, it was just a matter of if this mare wanted to tag along or not.

'Oh, yeah I didn't come with anyone. In fact I kind of got a ticket last minute and by surprise.' Fizzy grinned. She felt like it had been her most lucky day ever when an invitation had shown up just for her. "Me too! How exciting! Maybe we have secret admirers." She winked in jest. Fizzy was certain hers had been passed on by a friend who didn't want it this year, but who knows. 'I've never actually been to the gala before. These kinds of events aren't really my thing. But if a friend of mine found out I got a ticket and didn't show, well, I'd never hear the end of it.' "I've only been her once before. I came with a friend. Golly, she kept me so busy that night I didn't have a chance to explore much." Fizzy chimed thoughtfully. "There's a lot to do and see though!" 'I'm Willow Wisp, who are you?' Fizzy took Willow Wisp's hoof and shook it. "I'm Fizzy!" She giggled as she spoke her name and then added admiringly. "Your dress sure is pretty. I've never seen one like that before."

"Mind if I join you?" Thunder Boomer lazily rolled his head in the direction of the speaker. With a sideways glance and tongue still poking out, he stared blankly at a mare who was speaking to him. The unicorn was Ivory with brown and black hair and a bit plump. Not exactly his type. He bet she was bland . . . but, it was the Gala, so why the hay not? He looked at her unmoving for a moment longer, before sucking is tounge back in, pulling himself up and drawing his plate closer to give the mare more room at the table as she sat down. "I noticed you in the buffet line and saw that you were quite bored so I had to find out why you're so bored at one of the most wondrous parties ever through." Thunder Boomer rolled his eyes and shoved some food in his face. "Beecaaaause. . . Well. I'm just not into this froo-froo stuff. A buddy dragged me here only to ditch me. The music is boring, these rich ponies have absolutely no personality, I don't know how to fancy-pants-dance . . . and this suit is killing me!" Thunder Boomer waved his front hooves wildly in the air as he spoke. Upon conclusion, he waved them once more in silence before dropping them suddenly, slumping in exasperation and staring at CookieSweets with a look that made it apparent he was annoyed with the world. "So what's your story?" He asked.

Fizzy hummed happily along with the swaying music that filled the air as she trotted merrily into the ballroom. Her frilly, bell-shaped dress seemed to bounce with every step. She was at the Gala! She had a new dress, the scent of flowers and cakes filled the air and everypony seemed to be in good spirits. Fizzy couldn't have been more pleased. This wasn't Fizzy's first Gala. A rich friend had taken her once back when she was still in school. This was; however, her first time attending the Gala alone. As she entered the large, expansive space and glanced around at the various activity that filled it, she couldn't help but wonder what to do with herself. She had no friend this time to drag her around in order to make proper introductions. Not content to simply stand in one place, Fizzy decided to patrol the perimeter of the room in order to get a better feel for things. Perhaps she'd ask somepony to dance. That'd be fun! There were so many handsome looking Stallions to choose from too. Bobbing along the wall she came to a corner that seemed to be inhabited by a black hole. Contrasting against the wall's bright backdrop was a black colored unicorn with a purple cobweb dress. She seemed to be fidgeting and glancing around awkwardly. 'What am I even doing here?' Wisp said to herself. 'At least I showed up... maybe I should go home before I make a scene by mistake. Not like I have a date or what not to leave behind.' Fizzy overheard the unicorn talking to herself. Not to be dissuaded, she decided to take the opportunity to try and make a new friend and trotted over. "Are you alone too?" She asked cheerfully, her eyes twinkling. "I just got here, and gosh, there's so much going on I just don't know what to do with myself. I've never been to the Gala on my own before."

*SIGH* Thunder Boomer couldn't believe he was here. This whole fancy-prancy stuff was totally not his bag. He'd been invited to the Galla by an old school buddy of his."Cmoooon. . . I need a wingman. It'll be fun." His friend insisted. So, Thunder Boomer agreed to tag along. . . . Not more then 10 minutes into the party, his buddy ditched him to chase tail. Figures. GODS he was bored. That'll learn me to visit old friends. Thunder Boomer thought to himself as he tugged awkwardly at his itchy suit. It was so constricting. Soft waltz music droned from the orchestra as Thunder Boomer meandered over to the Buffet table with a rather bland expression on his face. At least there is free food. Thunder Boomer figured he could at least stuff himself for a couple of hours before ditching his tie and finding a place to crash. Moving down the line, Thunder Boomer piled all sorts of food on his plate. Hors d'Å“uvres, sweets, small sandwiches. . . he didn't even seem to be looking at what he was grabbing. When he came to one of the chocolate fountains, he simply shoved a hoof in and stood there licking the sticky mess off with a bored and annoyed expression on his face. A few ponies stopped to stare. He ignored them. When he was satisfied, Thunder Boomer gripped his plate with his teeth, trotted to the nearest empty table and practically tossed it down as he laid his chin on the table and splayed his front legs out across it's pristine surface. He stared at his plate of food as he licked it idly with the tip of his extended tongue. SOOOOO BOOORRRED.

I'm confused by the pronunciation of DJ-PON3 as D.J Pon Three. I always assumed you pronounced it D.J Ponee (pony), in the same way Mad Mau5 was pronounced Mad Mouse. Was it just a slipup on their part?

Gonna Move this to OOC, because it doesn't actually fit in Gen. Creativity. Have you actually talked with Mane about a private rp, or are you just assuming? One other thing to consider, is that if she somehow ends up in the show and cannon isn't how you wrote her, are you willing to make the changes later that a cast profile would require?

This application looks really good. I just don't know about using so many number markers. We try to avoid numbers when it comes to age. The idea to change the numbers into pony terms like foal, colt, young stallion etc, seems to be the best option.

Ha-ha! Monty's store sounds just like the army (and more) surplus store near where I live, including the fenced-off area full of larger army oddities.

That looks great! Just add it to your first post, and I think we can finally push this app through.