starswirlthebearded

Trekker was originally afraid to address the dragon, but to her surprise he was rather polite. Perhaps dragons weren't as bad or scary as the stories made them out to be, well at least as teenagers. She was surprised, perhaps she could actually talk to them! The thought of this made Trekker extremely happy, but she resisted to show it and remain calm. She asked a few questions to the peryton about her origins. "IS IT 'CUZ I'M PURPLE!?" Trekker turned from her current conversation with the Peryton to see the sea serpent overreact to... something. She wasn't sure but Trekker felt a reassuring response was in order. With a sly smile she turned to the large purple sea serpent, "[colour=#339933]Your shade of purple is quite becoming of you. I'm apologize for staring, but not only are you the first sea serpent I've ever seen, but I was shocked to see you have legs. All the books I've seen of sea serpents they are legless...[/colour]" Trekker said with an inquisitive intonation to her voice "[colour=#339933]Anyway, I'm Trekker. It's a pleasure to meet you.[/colour]" Trekker said smiling as she turned back her gaze to the peryton. [colour=#FFBFFF]At that moment, a green pony who had broken away from the group approached them. But Misty seemed confused by her question, shuffling her front hooves on the ground before she replied. “I'm... sorry to say, but I don't know.” she paused, still befuddled on how to answer. “Do ponies have names for the wood? Perytons don't really trifle with things like that. The trees are our home, and that's enough. Why bother giving the place a name? It's not like you're liable to see any other talking creature out there. In fact, I've never even seen another Peryton outside of my family.” she herself looked disappointed that she couldn't give a more satisfactory reply. But then something occurred to her. “Oh, but maybe it was one of my parents! I know I'm hardly more than what you would call a filly myself, but they're much older.” she smiled, glad that she could actually be of some service.[/colour] "[colour=#339933]You don't have names for the woods? Well I can't really fault that logic anyway.[/colour]" Trekker began to respond to the peryton. She wasn't really sure to make of it, but if this young peryton's parents were the ones to help her, she should at least try to express some gratitude, and if not, perhaps they would know who. "[colour=#339933]Perhaps it was your parents miss peryton! If you could thank them for me if you see them, it would be appreciated. If not, I'm sure I'll find them eventually[/colour]" Trekker said with a smile. She didn't have high hopes of ever finding the pertyon who helped her, but anything was worth a try. While she was talking to the pegasus that looked like Daring Do she noticed a familiar grey stallion waving at her. "[colour=#339933]Is that... Pocket Change?[/colour]" She thought to herself. Trekker waved back with a smile. She was too far to say anything, but that could always wait for during the trip. She just hoped things wouldn't go as crazy as it did when they first met in the Whitetail Woods. That wasn't something she wanted to repeat. Zecora said in her typical rhyme that it was time to head off. Trekker looked her way and nodded. She whistled for Chrome who was still playing with Bright Eyes and Chrome darted over without a moments notice. "[colour=#339933]Chrome help me tighten up my saddle bags for the trip.[/colour]" she said as she motioned to her bags. Chrome hopped up on the bag and grabbed the strap and pulled it tight. "[colour=#339933]Thank you Chrome[/colour]." She said as she nuzzled her pet fox thankfully. "[colour=#339933]You can stick close to your new friend, I don't want to deprave you of time with the first fox you've met in a long while.[/colour]" Trekker said as Chrome happily went back over to Bright Eyes. Raising her voice a bit. "[colour=#339933]Zecora, I'm ready to go whenever you are. Let us all enjoy this journey to new lands[/colour]"

Silly quickie. That's why I put it in quotes. I was referring to the carbonation.

Hey there QL! This is an awesome character! She seems to fit perfectly for WoE! My only issue, which is minor, would be that the "sparking" part of her cutie mark would be hard to see based on that picture. But I'll assume that it is exaggerated for the purposes of her cutie mark I think this is perfectly ready for SRPHS review!

Looks much better. I'm going to get a second opinion, but I think you should be good for SRPHS re-review!

A fan of Edgar Allan Poe are you? (It's alright, one of my characters has a pet fox named Chrome)

Sure! We are alright with that so long as its not overly grim or anything like that.

Comixology and iTunes.

Been that way for a while.

Trekker looked around surveying the situation. It wasn't good at all. The pink mare named Miss Pie... Trekker paused and thought to herself "[colour=#339933]Wait... Miss Pie... Pink high energy earth pony. I think I've heard stories about a pony like that, she supposedly helped rescue Princess Celestia's sister Luna. I think her name was Pinkie.[/colour]" It took Trekker a while but she thought she finally figured out at least one pony's full name, now was the matter of the other two unicorns... However she still felt the need to properly introduce herself. Currently there was a filly on the floor terrified of the bugs. Pinkie Pie crashing through the roof of the cabin, and another unicorn up a tree, with a hoard of angry insects waiting to attack her and the grey unicorn. And that bug colt just dashed inside to see to the pink pony leaving the angry insects on the outside, probably to meet with more angry insects on the inside. The barrier would only last an hour... The situation seemed pretty hopeless. "[colour=#339933]I really don't want to recast the barrier, that bug colt said it would anger the bugs further.[/colour]" Trekker thought to herself. She had already angered the bugs once to ensure the safety of the others, but would rather allow the bugcolt to calm them down unless she was told to do otherwise. [colour=#282828]“Very impressive barrier spell you have there miss.”, Pocket let go of the branch and slowly drifted down.[/colour] Trekker looked at the grey unicorn stallion. "[colour=#339933]Oh, uh thank you. It isn't much really. It is more of a reaction now. I sort of practice important spells and do light exercise every morning. It's become somewhat of a habit.[/colour]" Trekker explained to the unicorn trying to keep her voice as calm and low as she could to avoid riling the insects further. "[colour=#339933]I'm Trekker, by the way, a traveler and adventurer[/colour]. [colour=#339933]It's a pleasure.[/colour]" Trekker said with a slight bow to Pocket Change. Trekker hadn't been complimented on her magic in quite a while. Then again, Chrome and various creatures she encountered weren't really chatty, and among ponies, she rarely did any other magic besides levitation which wasn't very impressive. The grey stallion ran to the edge of the barrier to see if the situation was alright inside. "[colour=#339933]Due to the limits of the barrier it would be impossible to see, but hearing things might be possible[/colour]" Trekker thought. Trekker wasn't really interested since there was nothing she could do for ponies outside her barrier. "[colour=#339933]Hey Chrome, come here boy![/colour]" She whispered under her breath so that Chrome could hear, but the bugs would hopefully not be startled. Chrome walked over with a bit of caution to his step. Trekker nodded to Chrome and knelt down on the floor to relax, and Chrome snuggled up against her.

Hey there any progress on this app?

Hey there! Do you still wish to keep this application open?

1986 Transformers movie. That's all I'm going to say. Oh and if they do it well, and reboot the show with a new "mane 6" with different personalities, it COULD theoretically work out for the better

Works for me

I think it is a huge improvement. I would clarify it a bit. It seems a bit confusing the way it is explained. I think I understand it, but it could use some more detail on how he went from reading a mislabeled fiction book to historical nonfiction. Just one thing... The explanation of the cutie mark doesn't exactly work. Cutie Marks are related to talent and destiny, not the pony's personality. So loving fine things and having a heart of gold don't really apply to the cutie mark. But you are definitely moving in the right direction for WoE! I look forward to further improvements and the revised history!

First off... I'm so happy you feel that way! I know you've been playing this character in Crossovers, so I'm going to give a run down of everything that would need to be changed for WoE RP. And I really apologize in advance, it will be quite a bit. I agree that I love time travelers and that they are awesome, but unfortunately, they are not welcome in WoE RP. So, without further adieu, I'll get to my critique, which will build on what StarStorm has already begun! Now... when StarStorm said he wasn't sure about time magic... I'm almost certain he meant "It is simply not allowed." There are several reasons for this, but I'll spare you the multiple explanations and tell you the main two... First and foremost... Time magic affects other players. By using it you can impose your will on other players, which is not something we are willing to allow in our game. The second is that, according to the show, time magic, is extremely advanced magic. So much so, that any spells relating to time magic are locked away in the Star Swirl the Bearded section of the archives. Being able to cast such spells place you at the level of Twilight in terms of ability. (BTW, Doctor Whooves, whom is based on The Doctor of Doctor Who cannot time travel either) By that effect, unfortunately your Cutie Mark story doesn't work. And facing off against a dragon, is not something we exactly like to see either. Now for the history, as StarStorm said... the lore you are using is not approved WoE lore. To start with, we don't know what happened with Celestia and Luna vs Discord... All we know is that ponies were miserable, and that the Princesses used the Elements to imprison him in stone. We cannot say for certain there was a rebellion, and if the stained glass windows were any indication, there was no rebellion, just ponies not being happy. Next thing that raises a red flag... the magic enhancing necklace... We unfortunately don't allow magic enhancing artifacts in WoE RP applications. Same can be said for the pocket watch. Next thing is split personalities... We do not allow mental illness in WoE (Which includes Dissociative Identity Disorder (AKA Multiple Personality Disorder AKA Split Personalities)). This is especially true of one side being evil. After that...Strange incurable disease... That doesn't really fit the flavour of WoE RP. It seems to grim and dark. Lighten it up! You don't need a sad depressing past for your character. Next... Aku Jamora sending Samurai Jack Time into the future where his evil is law doesn't really work either. The only evil unicorn we know is Sombra. And using those kinds of characters isn't really what WoE RP is all about. Your history seems to hinge on a few things. Dark past, with troubles and tribulations of a war-like time, with sadness all around. To fix this, first thing you need to do is put it into the present, first and foremost. Perhaps he was like Twilight and liked reading, and found the old stories and myths interesting. But he cannot have experience those things. Make his childhood happy! There is simply no reason for all the depressing grimdark-esque elements to your character's history! I'm sure you can think of a compelling story that would involve him being in modern times and a colt loving to learn about history! The watch cutie mark can still work. Maybe that symbolizes his love of history! Now that all that is out of the way... I totally agree with StarStorm on the Character Summary! It is quite good. You could organize it a bit better, but I'll not hold that against you. I really got a sense of how Time interacts and what he likes and enjoys, as well as his flaws. This is really the strong point of the app! And based on what we know of Spiders and Dragons, being afraid of them are perfectly natural for ponies, regardless of his history! Now, I know that seems like a lot, but StarStorm and I are willing and able to help you make this character WoE stampable! It will take a bit of work, but the personality is what really matters! I'm sure with a bit of creativity you can think up an awesome Cutie Mark story and History that will fit in WoE! If you have any questions about what is allowed, or if something will work, you can ask us in this thread, and we'll answer you promptly as we can! I really look forward to seeing what you come up with for this character!

The one on the left doesn't look chill at all. He looks more freaked out than anything.

Fire Heart responded to Razor's worry quite adeptly to put him at ease. [colour=#FF0000]"Oh my fire magic doesn't hurt me. You see, it kind of naturally forms a wreath of flames around me. It feels kind of warm around me, like a warm blanket."[/colour] "[colour=#0000ff]That is fine to hear! I've never actually heard it described like that. Rather interesting.[/colour]" Razor replied, in a calm manner. He really didn't see a quip in sight of those words. He was more relieved that he wouldn't have to worry about anyone getting hurt, or so it seemed. The older stallion seemed to take offense to Razor's words. This didn't really bother him in the slightest though, he was always rather forward and blunt. He could be sarcastic, but Razor really wasn't one to mince words. [colour=#999999]"Didn't your parents ever teach you to respect you elders, boy?"[/colour][colour=#282828] [/colour][colour=#CCCCCC]he said through a huff.[/colour][colour=#282828] [/colour][colour=#999999]"You may assume that that snappy, upstart attitude of yours will impress the mares, but truth be told all it does it make you look like a foal."[/colour] [colour=#999999]"As for Starswirl, he was but a foal once, just as any of us were! What separates a legend from a simple stallion? What is this gulf that you find to be so impassable between us and him?"[/colour][colour=#282828] [/colour][colour=#CCCCCC]Gray snorted and shook his head.[/colour][colour=#282828] [/colour][colour=#999999]"Knowledge and great deeds are the key to a legend. Ponies these days may be too weak or afraid... too content to hold themselves back and let Celestia raise the sun all on her own, but that does not mean greatness is not there for those of us bold enough to grasp for it!"[/colour] Razor smiled at the older stallion's uproar. "[colour=#0000ff]'Respect my elders?'[/colour]" Razor repeated with an inflection in his voice. "[colour=#0000ff]Hm, yes... I do recall hearing that when I was but a colt in school.[/colour]" Razor started with a playful sense jest. "[colour=#0000ff]But on the matter of my parents, no, they never did teach me that. They, inadvertently, taught me something completely different. Indeed, they taught me that nopony is instantly deserving of respect and should never be given blindly, but rather respect is to be earned by those deserving.[/colour]" Razor knew Grey wouldn't like the joking sense he had, nor would he appreciate that retort much. Razor didn't want a fight, but he also wanted his way of thinking to be known. "[colour=#0000ff]And you seem to have misunderstood my meaning. Star Swirl did likely start at our level. However, legends, my friend, are often exaggerated for the sake of making them legendary, performing feats not actually possible. No one can truly know if all the spells he reportedly wrote he was able to actually perform. I can agree that knowledge is a vital part of growth, but these "great deeds" you speak of, you seem to have a grandiose concept of it. A great deed can be as simple as helping your fellow pony in their time of need. Perhaps I have a simpler sense of your supposed "greatness" and I have a radically different concept of being "legendary." It is nothing major though. Just different thoughts on the same matter. We are speaking only in opinions of course, and this is mine.[/colour]" Razor didn't feel like joking further with the easily excited old coot. Well traveled? Yes. Knowledgeable? Highly likely. Crazy beyond all measure? Almost certain, at least just a little. It was almost definite that these words would careen the two into a senseless argument. Razor was already bored with this dialogue. If it continued he'd probably want to end it in some way. This was an argument of opinion, not fact, which could never be won. A beige middle-aged looking pony then entered. “IMMIE! You actually made it-” Moondancer exclaimed catching the attention of Razor. "[colour=#0000ff]Immie? The teacher you spoke of Moondancer?[/colour]" Razor said to Moondancer, turning to Miss Ingrid Marie. "[colour=#0000ff]This young filly speaks very highly of you. She actually referred you to me as one who might help me with some spells. It is a pleasure to formally meet you. I'm Dr. Razor Gears, medical researcher at Manehattan hospital. I'll go ahead and assume that "Immie" isn't your proper name miss.[/colour]" Razor said with a smile. He had already gotten into one argument with one older than he, he'd rather not make a habit of it. However, he usually got along with teachers... for the most part... Perhaps it was his insatiable thirst for learning, or rather furthering his own knowledge. Abbot spoke up about food and drink of some sort, and of being an experiment. Razor chuckled. "[colour=#0000ff]Be an experiment you say? How intriguing! I'll give it a go if you tell me what sort of experiment and allow me to at least have basic scientific look at what I'm about to ingest. Though, I may wait to observe the reactions of others first before actually trying them myself! I'll even help you record the observations Abbot![/colour]" Razor said with a laugh. Razor looked over at Nival who was shrinking back at his words. "[colour=#0000ff]Please, don't get me wrong young filly. Just because you don't seem the type to me, does not mean you are incapable. As Grey[/colour] ["[colour=#0000ff]the old coot[/colour]" he muttered under his breath as if he was clearing his throat] [colour=#0000ff]over there stated, it is quite admirable for you to take such action.[/colour]" Razor tried to encourage the filly. "[colour=#0000ff]And please don't worry about the pie, I'm sure we can go out and get some later, if we are in need.[/colour]"

Have fun Tales!

I really can't say much about this app, other than it is a well detailed and well thought out app. I really see nothing wrong with it. I'm going to send this up. [colour=#ffffcc]despite the Cutie Mark screaming "special snowflake"[/colour]

Works for me! I'll go ahead and send this one up to the SRPHS! -Star Swirl

Bees are awesome http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2013/02/21/bees-can-sense-the-electric-fields-of-flowers/

I'll just go ahead and refer you to the OP... You need to explain what the cutie mark is and what it represents.

I'm not, but I could probably meet up if I'm not going to another Con in PA that my friend is trying to convince me to attend.

SteelEagle is the RPH in charge of this app. If you corrected the things he mentioned let him know by replying here and he'll send it up for final review by SRPHS who will stamp it for WoE.