Chapien

This application is fantastic, but I have one thing that bothers me: Yes, I am probably nit-picking here, but do Zebras even know what hands are? Wouldn't hooves be more accurate? Regardless, this is a great application. Good job.

Hello and Good Morning! This is a pretty good Application, but I do have a few questions. First and foremost, you do not have any information in your backstory explaining how your character earned his cutie mark! What does the campfire represent? When did he earn it? How? It is generally a good idea to devout a paragraph or two on how your character earned their cutie mark- in the world of Equestria, the Cutie Mark can be THE defining aspect of a character, and as such, the moment they discover their cutie mark can be of the utmost importance. Second, I think you need to provide more details on what the accident was that got him discharged. Details like that cannot be left as vague, and you simply stated "certain circumstances"; what were these "certain circumstances"? What exactly happened? If you could answer those questions, it'd be great.

Alright, so your back-story is really detailed. You did a really good job on it! But I still have a few more questions, this time on his actual personality. We know a lot about the character's past and his passions and his motivations, but we don't actually know much on his personality yet. What is it like to interact with him? What does he think about other ponies? Does he get along well with others? What are some of his flaws/weaknesses? His backstory is fantastic, I am just curious on how he actually interacts with other ponies, if he is friendly, what other ponies generally think of him, and so on.

Hello and Good Morning, welcome to Canterlot.com! It's AWESOME here!

Sparks grinned, rather pleased with his work. A watchmaker of lesser skill would have taken all night- perhaps even longer- to fix this watch, especially considering its completely broken state. He turned to his benefactor, holding the watch proudly. "And that is that, madame. Thank you for your assistance."

Alright, you can keep the name. It was just a suggestion, making sure you were aware that you aren't the only Spotlight.

Looks good so far, be sure to address my other questions as well! ^^ Although we seem to have encountered an issue- there is already another accepted character by the name of Spotlight. Now, this isn't too much of an issue, but you may wish to find a way to expand on the name to make it more unique.

Sparks grinned. "Then watch a master at work!" He began by organizing the parts into different piles, gears of different sizes each in different piles, screws and bolts and nobs all separated neatly by size and function. He opened up the watch, revealing the empty insides of the watch, all of the parts having fallen out or been removed for the purpose of the repair. Sparks picked up a large gear and delicately placed it inside of the watch, grabbing a screw and the gear into the clock, levitating the screwdriver with his horn. He then proceeded to place various other mechanisms, cogs, and gears of all shapes within the clock, screwing or hammering them in until they fit together perfectly. After an hour or two, he closed the clock and attached the winder, quickly winding it up and releasing. Much to his disappointment, it did not work. Frowning, he detached the winder and re opened the watch and began to remove and replace parts, moving everything around, taking about another hour, before trying again, once again being met with disappointment. After repeating this process another two times, he attempted to wind up the watch and was met with success as the hands began to turn. "Aha! And it works! Sorry it took so long. It has been a while."

Hello and Good Morning! Your application has been improved a lot since I last read it, for sure. But, I still have a few questions. I feel that you could put a few more details into the Cutie Mark story. The musical performance obviously must have been good- can you tell me more about it, maybe? It just seems a bit vague- particularly for a Cutie Mark story, which is arguably one of the most important moments in a pony's life. Also, why Ponyville? I understand that it is a fairly important location in the show itself, but it is actually a rather small town and a bit of an arbitrary location. I'm having a bit of trouble understanding this sentence: What exactly do you mean here? The structure is a bit odd to me. Other than that this is a great application and I look forward to seeing your character in action ^^

Sparks smiled and began to head up the stairs towards the room the innkeeper pointed him to. "Right, then, to my room I suppose." He opens the second door on the right, entering a somewhat small room with a simple bed and desk. "Its not much... but it should do." He immediately removes his tool belt and sets it down on the table, along with the broken clock. He lights a nearby lantern and picks up the watch with his horn, inspecting the damages. "Well... all of the parts seem to be here at least... I can fix this. No problem."

Sparks enters the inn, breathing a sigh of relief. The common room seemed to be empty, and a small, nearly burned-out fire in the fireplace. There was a rather tired looking innkeeper behind the counter. Sparks approached the counter slowly. "Um, yes, do you have two rooms available?" The innkeeper gave a rather bored looking nod. "Ah, great!" He turned back to Snowfall. "I'll probably be up all night working on the watch- you are more than welcome to watch me work."

"Other end of the city, huh?" The only thing on the other end of the city were the Kuznitza, Veya, and Vysokii districts, and Sparks severely doubted that this mare could possibly be from the Kuznitza, or even the Veya districts. His "benefactor" was certainly not all that she said she was, though once again, he decided not to question her- yet. He stepped outside of the store and after walking just a few blocks, he stopped, pointing towards a small inn. "Well, I suppose that would work, eh?"

Sparks simply stared at the tools for a moment, before grabbing the bag with his horn and slinging it over his back. "Right then! Now we just have to find accommodations- ah, do you know of anywhere nearby? I haven't exactly been able to afford... anywhere... lately," he said, chuckling nervously.

Sparks stares at the clearly stuffed coinpurse, a bit shocked by the amount of money the mare has with her. The shopkeeper, however, maintains his somewhat bored posture. "It'll be a total of 45 bits, for all the tools, and another 10 bits for the toolbag." Sparks bit his lip a bit nervously, worried a bit about the price, but also pondering, once again, who exactly this mare was? And more importantly, how does she have so much money that she seems to be willing to simply help a random, homeless colt fix a rather basic watch?

Sparks browsed the shelf, grabbing various tools off of the shelf and placing them delicately into the bag. The shop had everything he would need to reconstruct the watch and more; screwdrivers of various shapes and sizes, hammers, wrenches... it was like a mechanic's dream. "Yes, yes, everything and more!" He headed over to the counter and placed the bag on the counter. "I'd like to buy all of these tools, and the bag, please!" The shopkeep looked at Sparks, a doubtful expression on his face. "And how, young Colt, do you intend to pay for all of this?"

"Right then." Sparks entered the shop, looking around. The shop had several shelves, each with rather organized and neatly-kept tools resting on them. Across the room was a shopkeeper sitting behind a desk, looking both bored and tired. Sparks immediately headed over to a shelf and grabbed what appeared to be a saddlebag designed specifically for carrying tools. "So, should I just grab what I need and you'll pay for it? I promise it won't be too much."

Sparks laughed nervously. "Well, truth to be told... I didn't only have clockwork at my disposal... I acquired some um... some..." He paused for a moment, obviously trying to figure out a way to change the subject, before looking up at a nearby building. "Oh look! It would seem that we are at the shop! Heh, almost missed it. It has been a while since I've been able to actually afford anything, and the owner doesn't appreciate so-called 'beggars'- regardless, shall we go inside?"

I'll be leaving in ten days (On July 20th) until July 29th for a camp. I will be completely and totally unable to access any technology at this time unfortunately, so any RP's I'm in will have to go on hold or do without me. Sorry! I'll post this again the day I'm actually leaving, which isn't for another 10 days- but I just find that advanced warnings are nice.

Wow, we basically posted the same thing at the same time. XD

I am sorry, but what is this "outside" you speak of? Is it some sort of video game?

Sparks paused for a moment, wondering if it would be best to share his story. With a sigh, he began, "Well... my father was always simply fascinated with clocks, whereas I actually enjoyed trying to figure out how to apply clockwork in new and unique ways. My father thought it was a waste of time, but he rarely interfered. One night, I was messing around with some materials in the lab, trying to build something new and- well, it exploded. That was the night my father kicked me out- and the night I got my Cutie Mark."

Sparks grinned. It was good to finally be talking to another pony who at least had passing knowledge in mechanics. "Clockwork can and will lead us to many great new discoveries- I am sure of that! As for my fascination with Clockwork... I was sort of raised with it, you could say. My father owns a clock shop, and I was, until recently, his apprentice."

Sparks nods and leads the way, walking at a leisurely pace towards the shop, slogging through the snowy streets. "Well, I grew up making clocks, so they are certainly what I know best. However, I have made my own... contraptions. Though everything I've made has been limited to using clockwork as its main method of propulsion, mainly because it is all I have had at my disposal."

Sparks smiled. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Snow." Sparks was a bit surprised that a random stranger would be willing to help him out, particularly in such a big way. He couldn't help but wonder if Snow had some sort of ulterior motive in helping him out, but he decided not to question it for now. "As for a store that is still open... There is a toolshop that should still be open. It isn't far from here, about a block or two."

Sparks raised an eyebrow. "Well... if you can pay for it and are willing to spend it on somepony like me... than I won't object. With the necessary tools, I should be able to repair the thing in a day or two, give or take." Sparks smiled. "I suppose we should go tool shopping then, eh? I know exactly what I need!" Sparks paused for a moment, thinking. "Oh right! I nearly forgot. My name is Gears Clockwise. But, please, call me Sparks. And yourself?"