Unicorn Lightning 'carmana' Shadow [FINAL]

[Carmana]

working out details currently

[Lux]

Ok then. let me know when you're finished.

[Rosewind]

Any progress on this application?

[Carmana]

almost got it i think

[Lux]

Alright. Let me know when your finished with the application.

[Lux]

How's the app coming?

[Carmana]

edited

[Lux]

Ok. I checked the app and just a few things.

You mention that your sister was from the Everfree Forest? Wasn't she born or was she adopted? Also, I asume that his parents were from Canterlot and Ponyville, right? You may need to clarify that more. I would add more about his justicication of living where he is currently, his personality, and his hobbies that he likes. Basically, the more you add about him, the more others can get to know him.

[Carmana]

edited again

[RarityDash]

Hello there.

I've taken a look at the application and I'm sorry to say I still see some problems that would prevent me from giving it my stamp.

Starting small, Brice and Sylvia really do not sound at all like pony names. It's kind of distracting for one sibling to be named Sylvia and the other to be named Lightning Shadow. I would give all the family members more pony-like names. Also, with the sister is there a reason you mention her eye colour? That seems like a rather irrelevant and strange detail to include in the application for her brother.

Moving on to a much bigger issue, I just can't reconcile this Everfree point. I'm expected to believe that the parents elected to raise their family in the heart of the most dangerous location in all of Equestria all because they wanted to be away from the city and amongst nature. What's wrong with the Whitetail Woods, or any of the mountain ranges or other sparsely populated regions on the map that don't actively want to kill ponies who wander into them? I just don't see Everfree working as a location; not with this rationale at least.

Then there are the abilities. It still strikes me as a little on the overpowered side. Construction magic seems like it would be a highly slippery slope that would be so very easy to abuse. It is a struggle for Twiight Sparkle, Celestia's personal student and one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria to put together wings for a single pony. I would really think that the manipulation of metals to make complex structures and weapons would not be a simple feat to say the least, and especially for a younger pony like him.

Also, we kind of frown upon the idea of special magical artifacts that give characters other additional powers. It seems especially out of place when his bands are described as being ancient black magic. We've seen nothing resembling this in canon, so I just don't think it would be allowed at all.

Finally, I don't understand the cutie mark as it is described. What does it mean? How does it relate to his powers? The reasoning for a cutie mark should be easy to immediately understand.

To be honest, a lot is going to need to be changed if you want this character in the World of Equestria RP. Our Crossovers and Free For All RPs, which offer a less restrictive game, may prove to be a good alternative for a character like this. Either way, I hope to see this app approved soon. Good luck!

[Carmana]

*jaw drops* The everfree is not changing no matter what...im putting my foot (or hoof) down on that one...the powers, if you read the description at all, do have major draw backs in that they take a long time to finish the constructs depending on material, size, ect. The bands are not black magic they just look cool. and they dont give him extra powers they help him focus is all...i have explained this multiple times...as for the cutie mark...if you play magic the gathering its the phyrexian symbol...it represents his construct affiliation... sorry for ranting but im sick of people trying to tear down my character...i understand it may not be your intention but it does hurt when my hard work (at least 2 months worth) is attacked like this...i apologize again and hope you understand

[RarityDash]

It's up to you whether or not you want to change the application, but it's up to myself and the six other Senior RP Helpers when this gets an approval stamp. If you don't wish to be reasonable, then I'm not sure what to tell you. This application presently simply does not meet the standards of the Word of Equestria RP.

Having Everfree as the location for a pony to live is a hard thing to reconcile. Zecora lives there, but she's a herbalist and witch doctor of sorts; being surrounded by the exotic plant life makes sense for her job. She's also an adult, and a capable, strong and wise one. It makes sense for her to live there. It doesn't make sense for two ponies looking to raise a new family to move there, nor for a pony who is still young to stay and survive there. The reasoning just doesn't fit here at all. Either try a different location or a different reason for it, but as it stands I just can't approve this.

Saying the powers "take time" to work does little to assuage my worries. The powers just seem too unlimited in what the pony can do. These abilities just strike me as pretty far beyond anything we've ever seen in the show. I can't remember a spell even comparable to what I'm understanding is being said here in the show. Maybe if you defined the limits better, but even then I'm unsure if this is appropriate.

On the black magic, you say right in the text of the app: "each band has an ancient black magical gem set into it". I don't see what is to debate with that wording. Even if all they do is increase his focus, magical artifacts like this are not something we have seen in the canon of the show. We would not be prepared to allow this. In general, in the mane RP, we do not like to see characters given "unique" weapons and equipment in an effort to make them special. The focus should be on the character himself. The World of Equestria RP is mainly a social RP environment. Most RPs you do are going to have nothing to do with fighting or magic or anything of the sort. Items like this really mean nothing in the RP. If you want to make the character special, focus instead on making his actual character unique rather than tacking on magical trinkets and the like.

Now with the cutie mark, if it's a symbol borrowed from another media, that leads to new problems. Is it trademarked? What exactly does it mean in the context of its own media? We don't want anything tied to places of people who do not exist in Equestria. Moreover, how does it relate to this character? Other players should not have to be familiar with another media to understand what the cutie mark means. As someone who knows nothing about Magic: The Gathering, I have no clue what this symbol is supposed to mean. We cannot assume that the userbase as a whole will be any different.

I do not mean to attack you or your character with any of this. It is merely my job, which I have volunteered much of my free time to do, to insure that applications meet the rules, standards and guidelines set for Canterlot.com's Mane RP. I do apologize if I am forced to be direct sometimes in doing so, but I stand by on the substance of what I said: I could give you my stamp right now if you switched the RP type to Crossovers, but the application will need to change considerably if you want it approved for the World of Equestria.

[Carmana]

To change his home from the everfree is to change his entire life...and it wasnt my fault that i was told no more ponies could move to pony vile...the everfree was the next closest place that still had what i needed...and i was going to make reference to him in my next app too...and the jems are only black in their colour...not in their magic...does that make any more sense at all? honestly im really starting to wonder why only MY character is being torn down...im not blaming you i promise. im just...honestly im on the verge of tears as i type this...i just wish people could understand my personal reasons for making this app...maybe then they would appreciate what I've done here.....

[Lux]

Ok. I'm sorry that you are upset about your character. I will say that it isn't just you that has to go through this process. Everyone who creates a character for World of Equestria RP has to have their application reviewed. It is a way to ensure cohesion in the RP's canon.

Now with your character's residence, we encourage ponies to find other places that Ponyville. We haven't closed off the town to new ponies, but we have seen many have their ponies live there because the Mane 6 live there. That is why we encourage ponies to live elsewhere as there are several fince towns and cities to live. So, if you truly think Ponyville is best for your character, be my guest.

As for his construction powers, there are many ways to adjust them so that they are more defined. Maybe Lightning has a better understanding of architecture and construction, allowing him to build easier than ponies with no experience. Maybe his magic is tied to building things easier as he is able to mentally picture a house or building in his mind (like a photographic memory). So, overall his talent can be his construction skills which are bolstered by his magic.

As for the gems, nonmagical jewelry is fine. Many ponies have some kind of those they have or wear.

Understand that I'm not trying to tear apart your character or stunt your creativity. I'm trying to keep it in line with the RP canon. So, please consider what I and Phil have said, and as always I'm here to offer suggestions.

[starswirlthebearded]

I was debating posting here, but allow me to weigh in as someone who is not help staff and give my perspective.

First off, you shouldn't think you are the only one who has their app deconstructed. Far from it in fact. I've seen many apps having to be reworked from the ground up, and other with over a hundred replies of the creator and help staff going back and fourth to make the app ready for Mane RP. Some that had that issue chose to make it a FFA or Crossover character and went on to create other characters that suited Mane RP better. Other succeeded with time and effort to make their character work within their vision as a part of the Canterlot Mane RP. It comes down to you and how creative you are to work within the strict rules of Mane RP. And if you think your creative vision is more worth than making changes for Mane RP, then there are two other sections of this RP Forum that will accommodate your character. So please, try to understand, they are trying to maintain a strict standard so that the Mane RP is fun for everyone, and stays to within a believable degree of the show.

Next is the Ponyville and Everfree situation. With Ponyville, I have to say it is your own fault. Had you read the Application Guidelines post, you would have seen that under "Origin/Residence" there is a spoiler. That spoiler says pretty clearly "Ponyville Housing Crisis." And further explains the situation, and even goes as far as to suggest various alternatives that may suit your character. As for Everfree Forest... Well... er... isn't that obvious? In the very first episode the Mane 6 were talking about it, how "no pony ever goes in there" (or something along those lines). Heck, just living there gave Zecora all sorts of problems when she tried to get ingredients in Ponyville. No one trusted her, not only because she looked different and acted a bit strangely (for them), but also because she lived in the Everfree Forest (a point which was brought up by Applejack if I recall correctly). Even Twilight, who is the most powerful mare in Equestria in terms of magic fell prey to the creatures in the Everfree Forest until she was saved by Fluttershy and her stare. I've told other hopeful RPers myself that the Everfree Forest is not logical for normal ponies, because, based on what the show has shown us, it isn't. Ponies rarely go in, and very very few (so far only Zecora is known) live there (I only say few because there are some OCs that have enough reason to be there as their talent is similar to that of Zecora's). However, as Lux said, they do allow on occasion for new ponies to enter into Ponyville, so all hope is not lost if that was your original plan. However you'd have to work that out with the Sr help staff to get that cleared. (or so I would assume)

Now on to the gems. First off, that would be a grammatical error on your part. If that is what you meant you needed a comma there to break the thought up, or rearrange the sentence to make it more clear. Either "black, magical gems" or "magical gems which are black in their hue" (or something like that). However, there is a larger problem with that, which is that power augmenting artifacts do not exist outside of the Elements of Harmony [EoH]. No unicorn is seen to have a gem, artifact or anything similar that changes or augments their power, besides the Mane 6 through the EoH, which only have one wielder each until their connection is severed. So the issue here really isn't with the black magic thing, but really with the nature of the gems themselves. Unless something like that is seen in the show, it won't be allowed in Mane RP. I'm sure that if in Season 3 or the up coming movie, an artifact such as that is found, and is usable by any pony,the RP staff will allow you to re-modify your app to allow the inclusion of those gems, but for all intensive purposes of the immediate time, they are not allowed because nothing like them has been seen within show canon. (Again, as Lux said, nonmagical jewelry is fine, and is often seen in the show)

Lastly, the M:TG cutie mark. Great idea in theory, wrong for Mane RP. Reason for that is that the entire idea of the cutie mark is a crossover with Magic: The Gathering. It works for your character as it is written, but unfortunately a symbol like that would never be seen in Equestria because of its connection with another franchise. Basically, if Hasbro used such a symbol they would get sued by Wizards of the Coast. So, going back to the whole "Would you see it in Equestria" thing gets killed right then and there, because it automatically becomes a crossover or something Hasbro simply cannot do. Marvel cannot sue Hasbro for using Mjolnir because it is a Norse Mythological symbol, even though they too use Thor's hammer, prior art precedes copyright, which works in favour for Hasbro for Mjolna. Conversely, Doctor Whooves, they named him Time Turner, because, unfortunately for them there was probably no way to get around the BBC's copyright of Dr Who. That cutie mark would be fine in Crossovers, but not in Mane RP. Heck, ponies based on characters of other series aren't allowed either, even if everything about them works in canon (ie: Poni Stark, which is a character of Robbiku Scratch, a Sr Help Staff, so you aren't the only one who has to adhere to these rules).

I hope this helps. And good luck with your app.

[Rosewind]

Hi there Carmana! I understand your frustration, and you're not the only one to experience it. The others have addressed what needs to change about your character to make this application acceptable for the RP type you've selected, so I'd like to change the focus from your character into what, exactly, World of Equestria (Mane RP) is. World of Equestria is a roleplay designed to mirror Friendship is Magic. As such, it's a lighthearted roleplay full of characters we have checked carefully so they follow the canon and flavor of the cartoon as closely as possible. Many of them willingly made creative sacrifices to play in this environment, and here's why:

Would you show up to a funeral wearing a bright lime-green tank top, a mini-skirt, and hair done up in a crazy orange mohawk? Chances are you probably would not. Likewise, would you show up to a rave dance party wearing a black dress? Unless you're that kind of person, again, probably not. Our roleplay works the same way; you need to develop your character appropriately for the kind of roleplay you're getting yourself into. WoE is not a place for artifacts of power, Phyrexian crossover cutie marks, or strange and powerful magical abilities. We're looking for characters we would see right out of FiM -- characters Hasbro would approve and use themselves. Again, I understand your frustration, but it is important for you to understand that you should choose the right roleplay for this kind of character. If you don't wish to budge off of your creative vision, Crossovers is the place this character will go. If you're still interested in World of Equestria, you will need to make a lot of the changes presented by the other staff for that to be possible. It's not really up for discussion or debate -- I just want you to understand this is not personal.

Use the right tool for the job, just like you'll use the right character for the right roleplay. You wouldn't use a hammer to open a can of cherries -- you'd use a can opener. You won't use a can opener to build a lemonade stand; you'll just encounter frustration since it won't work. Please respect the tenets we've placed in the game -- it's run by volunteers, and we work hard to keep the game interesting, fun, and secure from characters that fit better in the other places we've provided. Thanks for your interest in our roleplay; I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you. If you have any questions or need suggestions on how to make this character work for Mane RP, just ask! We're all more than happy to help. Thanks!

[RarityDash]

To change his home from the everfree is to change his entire life...and it wasnt my fault that i was told no more ponies could move to pony vile...the everfree was the next closest place that still had what i needed...and i was going to make reference to him in my next app too...and the jems are only black in their colour...not in their magic...does that make any more sense at all? honestly im really starting to wonder why only MY character is being torn down...im not blaming you i promise. im just...honestly im on the verge of tears as i type this...i just wish people could understand my personal reasons for making this app...maybe then they would appreciate what I've done here.....

The Mane RP must adhere to strict standards or else the game would break down. We judge all apps by the same standards and with the same scrutiny. With the size of the forum and the number of applications we get, I'm afraid we really cannot afford to be flexible with our rules. Some change will need to be made for this app to be Mane RP approvable.

I'm sure the app means a lot to you. I currently have 20 approved apps and all of them are very important to me. I know being forced to compromise your initial vision for a character can be a difficult thing; I was forced to change a couple things I thought were crucial to a character before too. But in the end I was willing to make needed changes and find solutions that worked for everyone, including myself, and my characters were eventually approved. I'm sure you can do the same. You just have to be willing to work with us.

[Carmana]

I am willing to work with you...but your not working with me. I can change things around but the one thing i refuse to change is the everfree...if you would think about that for a moment i would be fine...everypony is different...and if equestria was real im sure ponies like mine would exist...just trust me...i would never abuse his powers or make him grimdark or anything like that...i even had a plan to have him eventualy live in the everfree part time and somewhere eles the other part...make him more mlp fim like as he goes on in life you know? i have so many ideas for him but they only work if he lives in the everfree...please...give me a chance to prove what this character can do...and i would happily take rp advise if you do allow that chance...thank you......

[Carmana]

P.s. i dont even know what the cross over rp is...

[Solaria]

[colour=#0000ff][identity scan confirmed. Lauren Faust detected.][/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Hello, Mrs. Faust. It's been quite a long time, hasn't it?[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Your implied request of a definition: [/colour][colour=#0000ff]http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Roleplaying%20Cross%20Over[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Relevant section of Canterlot: [/colour][colour=#0000ff]http://www.canterlot.com/forum/227-equestria-crossovers-rp/[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Though it's far from my place to question your authority, gaps in provided data compel me to put forward these queries. For curiosity. Yes. Curiosity.[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Why does this pony enjoy daily terror sessions?[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Do ponies such as this simply build up an immunity to poisonous berries and other malevolent plantlife? How did he spend his nights after ingesting such cruel, evil things?[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]Why hasn't he fallen to predators yet? This could be useful data for other strong-willed, illogical ponies.[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]And one more question that is irrelevant to current strains of conversation, though I'm quite sure you can answer it: How do snowflakes, in all of their uniqueness, not melt under the blaze of their own glory?[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]I understand. Your time is limited. Mine is not. Ignore these other deluded, sad little ponies. They've simply never been as brave as yours. Show them the truth by the light of your courage.[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff]I'll support you.[/colour]

[colour=#0000ff][/colour]

[Rosewind]

I am willing to work with you...but your not working with me. I can change things around but the one thing i refuse to change is the everfree...if you would think about that for a moment i would be fine...everypony is different...and if equestria was real im sure ponies like mine would exist...just trust me...i would never abuse his powers or make him grimdark or anything like that...i even had a plan to have him eventualy live in the everfree part time and somewhere eles the other part...make him more mlp fim like as he goes on in life you know? i have so many ideas for him but they only work if he lives in the everfree...please...give me a chance to prove what this character can do...and i would happily take rp advise if you do allow that chance...thank you......

I'm sorry, but Phil's word is good as what any SRP Helpstaff will tell you -- we can't allow this character to live in Everfree. We're not outside compromise, however. There are other woodland areas that aren't as wild as Everfree, such as Whitetail Woods, which is east of Ponyville. I think that area would be more suitable for a character like yours to live. This is just one of the many problems that would need to be fixed -- Crossovers is a roleplay area where you can play this character in Everfree, keep the cutie mark, and use powerful magic spells -- we're basically allowing you to play this character untouched. If you want to play in Mane RP, please understand the type of RP this is, and the type of character you're asking us to allow into it. It would not be fair to the other characters or their players to let you do as you liked in the one roleplay environment that we keep strict on purpose. Please respect that there are other people in Mane RP that don't want to play with a powerful character with a strange cutie mark from a crossover place like Phyrexia.

You have two other options, both of them more suitable for the type of roleplay you are looking for. I suggest you reread what I -- and the others -- have said to you in this thread, and you can easily banish your frustrations right now by picking the correct roleplay that suits your needs. Mane RP is not that roleplay. Crossovers or Free for All are. The only difference between Mane RP and those is that we protect Mane RP from characters and content that would not naturally be found in FiM. This character would not -- it's that simple. Again, I understand your frustration, I understand your problem, and you have a half-dozen experienced people -- staff and non-staff -- telling you exactly how to fix it. Please consider what the others are telling you, and you'll see this isn't a personal strike on your creativity or character at all.

[Carmana]

Im sorry but...you dont understand...i have no intresr in crossover rp BECAUSE of overpowered o.c's......i wouldnt make what i am trying to avoid...heres the proof...i originally wanted to have Lightning be an alicorn...i changed that without a single word of complaint...i wanted to live in ponyvile but saw the notice against it...i RELUCTANTLY moved him to the everfree...but then i started to like the idea...and everypony else i heard from before said they thought it was a great idea...i was proud...i have nerfed his powers 3 times...i didn't want to risk accidental god modding......why dont any of you understand...if i have to change the cutie mark i will! if i have to explain things better i will! But please please dont make me take him from the everfree...its my favorite location from the show...i'll do almost anything if i can just keep him in the everfree forest......please...... T^T

[Carmana]

im so sorry for how i acted...i think i may have had an idea

[Rosewind]

Hello there.

I've taken a look at the application and I'm sorry to say I still see some problems that would prevent me from giving it my stamp.

Starting small, Brice and Sylvia really do not sound at all like pony names. It's kind of distracting for one sibling to be named Sylvia and the other to be named Lightning Shadow. I would give all the family members more pony-like names. Also, with the sister is there a reason you mention her eye colour? That seems like a rather irrelevant and strange detail to include in the application for her brother.

Moving on to a much bigger issue, I just can't reconcile this Everfree point. I'm expected to believe that the parents elected to raise their family in the heart of the most dangerous location in all of Equestria all because they wanted to be away from the city and amongst nature. What's wrong with the Whitetail Woods, or any of the mountain ranges or other sparsely populated regions on the map that don't actively want to kill ponies who wander into them? I just don't see Everfree working as a location; not with this rationale at least.

Then there are the abilities. It still strikes me as a little on the overpowered side. Construction magic seems like it would be a highly slippery slope that would be so very easy to abuse. It is a struggle for Twiight Sparkle, Celestia's personal student and one of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria to put together wings for a single pony. I would really think that the manipulation of metals to make complex structures and weapons would not be a simple feat to say the least, and especially for a younger pony like him.

Also, we kind of frown upon the idea of special magical artifacts that give characters other additional powers. It seems especially out of place when his bands are described as being ancient black magic. We've seen nothing resembling this in canon, so I just don't think it would be allowed at all.

Finally, I don't understand the cutie mark as it is described. What does it mean? How does it relate to his powers? The reasoning for a cutie mark should be easy to immediately understand.

To be honest, a lot is going to need to be changed if you want this character in the World of Equestria RP. Our Crossovers and Free For All RPs, which offer a less restrictive game, may prove to be a good alternative for a character like this. Either way, I hope to see this app approved soon. Good luck!

It's up to you whether or not you want to change the application, but it's up to myself and the six other Senior RP Helpers when this gets an approval stamp. If you don't wish to be reasonable, then I'm not sure what to tell you. This application presently simply does not meet the standards of the Word of Equestria RP.

Having Everfree as the location for a pony to live is a hard thing to reconcile. Zecora lives there, but she's a herbalist and witch doctor of sorts; being surrounded by the exotic plant life makes sense for her job. She's also an adult, and a capable, strong and wise one. It makes sense for her to live there. It doesn't make sense for two ponies looking to raise a new family to move there, nor for a pony who is still young to stay and survive there. The reasoning just doesn't fit here at all. Either try a different location or a different reason for it, but as it stands I just can't approve this.

Saying the powers "take time" to work does little to assuage my worries. The powers just seem too unlimited in what the pony can do. These abilities just strike me as pretty far beyond anything we've ever seen in the show. I can't remember a spell even comparable to what I'm understanding is being said here in the show. Maybe if you defined the limits better, but even then I'm unsure if this is appropriate.

On the black magic, you say right in the text of the app: "each band has an ancient black magical gem set into it". I don't see what is to debate with that wording. Even if all they do is increase his focus, magical artifacts like this are not something we have seen in the canon of the show. We would not be prepared to allow this. In general, in the mane RP, we do not like to see characters given "unique" weapons and equipment in an effort to make them special. The focus should be on the character himself. The World of Equestria RP is mainly a social RP environment. Most RPs you do are going to have nothing to do with fighting or magic or anything of the sort. Items like this really mean nothing in the RP. If you want to make the character special, focus instead on making his actual character unique rather than tacking on magical trinkets and the like.

Now with the cutie mark, if it's a symbol borrowed from another media, that leads to new problems. Is it trademarked? What exactly does it mean in the context of its own media? We don't want anything tied to places of people who do not exist in Equestria. Moreover, how does it relate to this character? Other players should not have to be familiar with another media to understand what the cutie mark means. As someone who knows nothing about Magic: The Gathering, I have no clue what this symbol is supposed to mean. We cannot assume that the userbase as a whole will be any different.

I do not mean to attack you or your character with any of this. It is merely my job, which I have volunteered much of my free time to do, to insure that applications meet the rules, standards and guidelines set for Canterlot.com's Mane RP. I do apologize if I am forced to be direct sometimes in doing so, but I stand by on the substance of what I said: I could give you my stamp right now if you switched the RP type to Crossovers, but the application will need to change considerably if you want it approved for the World of Equestria.

Ok. I'm sorry that you are upset about your character. I will say that it isn't just you that has to go through this process. Everyone who creates a character for World of Equestria RP has to have their application reviewed. It is a way to ensure cohesion in the RP's canon.

Now with your character's residence, we encourage ponies to find other places that Ponyville. We haven't closed off the town to new ponies, but we have seen many have their ponies live there because the Mane 6 live there. That is why we encourage ponies to live elsewhere as there are several fince towns and cities to live. So, if you truly think Ponyville is best for your character, be my guest.

As for his construction powers, there are many ways to adjust them so that they are more defined. Maybe Lightning has a better understanding of architecture and construction, allowing him to build easier than ponies with no experience. Maybe his magic is tied to building things easier as he is able to mentally picture a house or building in his mind (like a photographic memory). So, overall his talent can be his construction skills which are bolstered by his magic.

As for the gems, nonmagical jewelry is fine. Many ponies have some kind of those they have or wear.

Understand that I'm not trying to tear apart your character or stunt your creativity. I'm trying to keep it in line with the RP canon. So, please consider what I and Phil have said, and as always I'm here to offer suggestions.

I was debating posting here, but allow me to weigh in as someone who is not help staff and give my perspective.

First off, you shouldn't think you are the only one who has their app deconstructed. Far from it in fact. I've seen many apps having to be reworked from the ground up, and other with over a hundred replies of the creator and help staff going back and fourth to make the app ready for Mane RP. Some that had that issue chose to make it a FFA or Crossover character and went on to create other characters that suited Mane RP better. Other succeeded with time and effort to make their character work within their vision as a part of the Canterlot Mane RP. It comes down to you and how creative you are to work within the strict rules of Mane RP. And if you think your creative vision is more worth than making changes for Mane RP, then there are two other sections of this RP Forum that will accommodate your character. So please, try to understand, they are trying to maintain a strict standard so that the Mane RP is fun for everyone, and stays to within a believable degree of the show.

Next is the Ponyville and Everfree situation. With Ponyville, I have to say it is your own fault. Had you read the Application Guidelines post, you would have seen that under "Origin/Residence" there is a spoiler. That spoiler says pretty clearly "Ponyville Housing Crisis." And further explains the situation, and even goes as far as to suggest various alternatives that may suit your character. As for Everfree Forest... Well... er... isn't that obvious? In the very first episode the Mane 6 were talking about it, how "no pony ever goes in there" (or something along those lines). Heck, just living there gave Zecora all sorts of problems when she tried to get ingredients in Ponyville. No one trusted her, not only because she looked different and acted a bit strangely (for them), but also because she lived in the Everfree Forest (a point which was brought up by Applejack if I recall correctly). Even Twilight, who is the most powerful mare in Equestria in terms of magic fell prey to the creatures in the Everfree Forest until she was saved by Fluttershy and her stare. I've told other hopeful RPers myself that the Everfree Forest is not logical for normal ponies, because, based on what the show has shown us, it isn't. Ponies rarely go in, and very very few (so far only Zecora is known) live there (I only say few because there are some OCs that have enough reason to be there as their talent is similar to that of Zecora's). However, as Lux said, they do allow on occasion for new ponies to enter into Ponyville, so all hope is not lost if that was your original plan. However you'd have to work that out with the Sr help staff to get that cleared. (or so I would assume)

Now on to the gems. First off, that would be a grammatical error on your part. If that is what you meant you needed a comma there to break the thought up, or rearrange the sentence to make it more clear. Either "black, magical gems" or "magical gems which are black in their hue" (or something like that). However, there is a larger problem with that, which is that power augmenting artifacts do not exist outside of the Elements of Harmony [EoH]. No unicorn is seen to have a gem, artifact or anything similar that changes or augments their power, besides the Mane 6 through the EoH, which only have one wielder each until their connection is severed. So the issue here really isn't with the black magic thing, but really with the nature of the gems themselves. Unless something like that is seen in the show, it won't be allowed in Mane RP. I'm sure that if in Season 3 or the up coming movie, an artifact such as that is found, and is usable by any pony,the RP staff will allow you to re-modify your app to allow the inclusion of those gems, but for all intensive purposes of the immediate time, they are not allowed because nothing like them has been seen within show canon. (Again, as Lux said, nonmagical jewelry is fine, and is often seen in the show)

Lastly, the M:TG cutie mark. Great idea in theory, wrong for Mane RP. Reason for that is that the entire idea of the cutie mark is a crossover with Magic: The Gathering. It works for your character as it is written, but unfortunately a symbol like that would never be seen in Equestria because of its connection with another franchise. Basically, if Hasbro used such a symbol they would get sued by Wizards of the Coast. So, going back to the whole "Would you see it in Equestria" thing gets killed right then and there, because it automatically becomes a crossover or something Hasbro simply cannot do. Marvel cannot sue Hasbro for using Mjolnir because it is a Norse Mythological symbol, even though they too use Thor's hammer, prior art precedes copyright, which works in favour for Hasbro for Mjolna. Conversely, Doctor Whooves, they named him Time Turner, because, unfortunately for them there was probably no way to get around the BBC's copyright of Dr Who. That cutie mark would be fine in Crossovers, but not in Mane RP. Heck, ponies based on characters of other series aren't allowed either, even if everything about them works in canon (ie: Poni Stark, which is a character of Robbiku Scratch, a Sr Help Staff, so you aren't the only one who has to adhere to these rules).

I hope this helps. And good luck with your app.

Hi there Carmana! I understand your frustration, and you're not the only one to experience it. The others have addressed what needs to change about your character to make this application acceptable for the RP type you've selected, so I'd like to change the focus from your character into what, exactly, World of Equestria (Mane RP) is. World of Equestria is a roleplay designed to mirror Friendship is Magic. As such, it's a lighthearted roleplay full of characters we have checked carefully so they follow the canon and flavor of the cartoon as closely as possible. Many of them willingly made creative sacrifices to play in this environment, and here's why:

Would you show up to a funeral wearing a bright lime-green tank top, a mini-skirt, and hair done up in a crazy orange mohawk? Chances are you probably would not. Likewise, would you show up to a rave dance party wearing a black dress? Unless you're that kind of person, again, probably not. Our roleplay works the same way; you need to develop your character appropriately for the kind of roleplay you're getting yourself into. WoE is not a place for artifacts of power, Phyrexian crossover cutie marks, or strange and powerful magical abilities. We're looking for characters we would see right out of FiM -- characters Hasbro would approve and use themselves. Again, I understand your frustration, but it is important for you to understand that you should choose the right roleplay for this kind of character. If you don't wish to budge off of your creative vision, Crossovers is the place this character will go. If you're still interested in World of Equestria, you will need to make a lot of the changes presented by the other staff for that to be possible. It's not really up for discussion or debate -- I just want you to understand this is not personal.

Use the right tool for the job, just like you'll use the right character for the right roleplay. You wouldn't use a hammer to open a can of cherries -- you'd use a can opener. You won't use a can opener to build a lemonade stand; you'll just encounter frustration since it won't work. Please respect the tenets we've placed in the game -- it's run by volunteers, and we work hard to keep the game interesting, fun, and secure from characters that fit better in the other places we've provided. Thanks for your interest in our roleplay; I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you. If you have any questions or need suggestions on how to make this character work for Mane RP, just ask! We're all more than happy to help. Thanks!

The Mane RP must adhere to strict standards or else the game would break down. We judge all apps by the same standards and with the same scrutiny. With the size of the forum and the number of applications we get, I'm afraid we really cannot afford to be flexible with our rules. Some change will need to be made for this app to be Mane RP approvable.

I'm sure the app means a lot to you. I currently have 20 approved apps and all of them are very important to me. I know being forced to compromise your initial vision for a character can be a difficult thing; I was forced to change a couple things I thought were crucial to a character before too. But in the end I was willing to make needed changes and find solutions that worked for everyone, including myself, and my characters were eventually approved. I'm sure you can do the same. You just have to be willing to work with us.

I'm sorry, but Phil's word is good as what any SRP Helpstaff will tell you -- we can't allow this character to live in Everfree. We're not outside compromise, however. There are other woodland areas that aren't as wild as Everfree, such as Whitetail Woods, which is east of Ponyville. I think that area would be more suitable for a character like yours to live. This is just one of the many problems that would need to be fixed -- Crossovers is a roleplay area where you can play this character in Everfree, keep the cutie mark, and use powerful magic spells -- we're basically allowing you to play this character untouched. If you want to play in Mane RP, please understand the type of RP this is, and the type of character you're asking us to allow into it. It would not be fair to the other characters or their players to let you do as you liked in the one roleplay environment that we keep strict on purpose. Please respect that there are other people in Mane RP that don't want to play with a powerful character with a strange cutie mark from a crossover place like Phyrexia.

You have two other options, both of them more suitable for the type of roleplay you are looking for. I suggest you reread what I -- and the others -- have said to you in this thread, and you can easily banish your frustrations right now by picking the correct roleplay that suits your needs. Mane RP is not that roleplay. Crossovers or Free for All are. The only difference between Mane RP and those is that we protect Mane RP from characters and content that would not naturally be found in FiM. This character would not -- it's that simple. Again, I understand your frustration, I understand your problem, and you have a half-dozen experienced people -- staff and non-staff -- telling you exactly how to fix it. Please consider what the others are telling you, and you'll see this isn't a personal strike on your creativity or character at all.

Read above.

How would you know if Crossovers is full of overpowered OCs if you've never been there or know what it is?

[Carmana]

i was tired and not thinking straight when i typed that up...i have been in non mlp related crossover rp's and they never played fair but i'll give them a chance here...bronies are different right? ......as i said i have an idea...i could make 2 versions of my character...one for mane rp and one for crossovers...this would be the crossover one with a quick app tweak......and please forgive my behavior...i am very stressed lately and it wont happen again i promise...

Love from Carmana