Fancy a game of Mornington Crescent?

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Frankly, I'd be amazed¹ if anyone else here knew the rules, but it's worth a try. If you don't, please don't Google the rules; it's a complex and subtle game, and fumbling around like an amateur will get you nothing but laughter at your expense.

We'll stick with the standard rule set for now,² but if this goes well, I may break out my Advanced Supplementary Rule Book; it contains around 800 different variations, and I'm sure could keep us going until next Winter Wrap-Up!⁴

I'd also appreciate it if you provided some sort of commentary or rationale behind your moves; I'm a keen student of the game, and would love a chance to study the techniques of others.

With all that said, I'll make the first move.

West Hampstead

I know it's a bit of a clichéd opening gambit, but the old strategies are the best ones!

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¹ And delighted.

² Since most users on here are probably not fortunate enough to be English.³

³ With that in mind, it would be probably be best if I linked to the game board: http://www.tfl.gov.u...rd-tube-map.pdf

⁴ Although mainly as a fuel source.

[flutterscotch]

This is my response:

[BaconofChaos]

If you don't, please don't Google the rules;

Ask people to play a game.

Refuse to explain the rules and don't allow them to look up the rules.

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Sorry, forgot to put in my sarcasm tags.¹

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¹ I don't seriously expect people to slavishly follow instructions given by some random prat on the internet. Besides, if you do Google it, you'll see why I said not to...

[flutterscotch]

I googled for a second, and stuck on the "steam of consciousness" aspect. Thus the Jethro Tull song, since I know jack about the London Underground. Who cares if you win as long as you amuse yourself?

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Hey, I'm not complaining. It gave me more impetus to check out Jethro Tull...¹

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¹ Something I've been meaning to do for years...

[BaconofChaos]

Sorry if I misunderstood, but when someone on the internet tells me not to click or Google something I generally assume:

a) They're trying to use reverse psycology to make me do it, or

b) They're actually trying to warn away from something gross or offensive.

Either way, it's best to not do it

...so, was I actually supposed to Google it or not?

[flutterscotch]

Diego. Just start naming places that make you think of whatever was named last. You'll be fine.

[BaconofChaos]

<_< >_> *googles*

Ohhhhh... okay.

In that case, I'll go with Piccadilly Circus. Perhaps an obvious a move, but I think I have a winning strategy.

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Not entirely sure what you mean by obvious. Since you're new to the game, I'd recommend you don't try devising your own strategies right away.¹

I'll let you get away with overconfidence just this once.²

I'll go... Waterloo

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¹ Look up one of the classic games and see if you can mimic one of the great masters.

² But don't push your luck.

[flutterscotch]

Sweden.

because:

((And yes, I am going to answer with music videos whenever possible. I am pretty much a master at loosely tied non-sequitur involving classic rock.))

[MyLittlePonyTales]

So... this is a game you can win?

[flutterscotch]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLqJJmmB-dA

[BrainedBySaucepans]

The winning player is the one who first reaches Mornington Crescent. This can be achieved in several ways, but the most common victory strategy is to keep play away from the Northern Line at all costs until your opponents are out of position.¹ I've found a pretty good example of this strategy in use in this video:³

Since we're using the standard rule set, you'll also want to keep in mind the length of the platform, as stops at which the last set of doors do not open⁴ are considered to incur a penalty of up to three rail-replacement buses.⁵ Don't worry though, you won't have to consider the "Camden Town Conundrum"⁶ until the 20th turn, and by then the game may well be over.

Also, I get the feeling that Flutterscotch isn't taking this very seriously, and I'm afraid it's disrupting the flow of play. Feel free to continue posting music, but please make your actual moves clear, or declare yourself a spectator. Otherwise we may have to put the Docklands Light Railway and Metropolitan line off limits.

In the meantime, I'm going to take the opportunity to move out of sequence and go to Euston Square. Yes it's very close to the critical upper junction of the Northern Line, but I have a plan in place for if anyone tries to exploit it.⁹

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¹ Except of course for the controversial 2003 revisions, which completely removed the Circle Line from play, and consequently radically changed the flow of the game. If you find yourself playing with someone who favours this rule-set, my advice would be to run away as fast as you can and inform your local mental health charity.²

² If they tie you down and force you to actually participate, the best strategy would actually be to divert play to the Bank branch as often as possible, but keep a careful eye on Euston.

³ Although the legality of the triple-shunt is rather questionable.

⁴ The so-called "shorties".

⁵ Depending on whether this is at peak times or not.

⁶ A situation first encountered in 1976, when players ended up stuck moving between Tottenham Court Road, Leicester Square and Holborn for over 200 turns, until one enterprising player derived the first known solution by catapulting one of his opponents all the way to Epping,⁷ and proceeded to win the game with seven carriages and a mandrill.⁸

⁷ The fact that this solution was later declared illegal and immoral fails to undermine the sheer genius of this play, although it makes it a far less tempting option for modern players.

⁸ Which was later erroneously stated to be a baboon.

⁹ If no one does chose to take the bait, I'll explain my reasoning with a post-game commentary.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

Europeans are silly. I'm out.

[flutterscotch]

Also, I get the feeling that Flutterscotch isn't taking this very seriously, and I'm afraid it's disrupting the flow of play. Feel free to continue posting music, but please make your actual moves clear, or declare yourself a spectator. Otherwise we may have to put the Docklands Light Railway and Metropolitan line off limits.

No,no I am not.

1) It's in the Spam Stables.

2) It is hard to take a game as obtuse as this seriously

2a)Because I am American

2b)Have little familiarity with the public transportation system at hand

2c)don't feel like having to reference a map each time I have to make a move.

2d) feel that it's kind or presumptuous and exclusionary to start a spammy game on a My Little Pony forum that predicates knowledge of 2b and necessitates 2c.

3) Clearly half the fun of the game is the snark between moves, and you get absolutely no nonverbal context on a webforum.

4)I rarely take anything seriously.

5)Do you have any idea how difficult it is to think through the vast knowledge of 70s and 80s music I have to pull up a song that references the name of the place that someone just mentioned?

[BrainedBySaucepans]

Okay, clearly this isn't going to work as it is, and I am once again reminded that my sense of humour doesn't transmit well in a text based media.¹

No,no I am not.

1) It's in the Spam Stables.

2) It is hard to take a game as obtuse as this seriously

2a)Because I am American

2b)Have little familiarity with the public transportation system at hand

2c)don't feel like having to reference a map each time I have to make a move.

2d) feel that it's kind or presumptuous and exclusionary to start a spammy game on a My Little Pony forum that predicates knowledge of 2b and necessitates 2c.

3) Clearly half the fun of the game is the snark between moves, and you get absolutely no nonverbal context on a webforum.

4)I rarely take anything seriously.

5)Do you have any idea how difficult it is to think through the vast knowledge of 70s and 80s music I have to pull up a song that references the name of the place that someone just mentioned?

Flutterscotch, I feel an apology is in order; I have thoroughly enjoyed your contributions,² and my complaints were supposed to be "In Character" as it were. By no means did I actually want you to stop, I in fact really appreciate your willingness to keep the topic going, even with the flaws you point out above. Me being "presumptuous and exclusionary", as you so eloquently put it, was all supposed to be part of the joke, and it's the responsibility of the person telling the joke to modify their technique if it falls flat. I failed spectacularly in that, so sorry.

If people actually wish to continue, I'd love to do so, but I'm guessing the game is pretty much dead right now.

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¹ Or face to face, but that's an entirely separate matter.

² I always love to broaden my own musical horizons.

[MyLittlePonyTales]

If people actually wish to continue, I'd love to do so, but I'm guessing the game is pretty much dead right now.

It may be that it's just too complicated for some. People don't want to have to research and have rules. Spam Stables is for fun, not strategy.

[flutterscotch]

If I was truly pissed, would I have put my response in outline form?

[BrainedBySaucepans]

It may be that it's just too complicated for some. People don't want to have to research and have rules. Spam Stables is for fun, not strategy.

Not entirely sure if you're serious...1

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1 In case you are, I feel I should spell it out. Mornington Crescent is a joke game; the whole point of it is that there are no rules or real strategies, the whole thing is an exercise of making up complete nonsense for its own sake.²

Apologies for any confusion.

² Pretty much the only real rule is that you should never say what I just said. It's considered to be ruining the magic of the game, like pointing out that the magician at a children's birthday party has a deck of cards and a chicken up his sleeves. No one was supposed to be actually fooled, but pretending to be is part of the fun. I feel dirty now.

[flutterscotch]

[FrankT]

Good grief, I've played this game before!!! I know just what to do - I'm planning to blitz in there - I start on Hyde Park Corner.