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[Earth Pony] Reina (Final)


ONWARDconwardicus

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Name: Reina

Gender: Female

Age: Mare

Species: Earth Pony

Eye colour: Cloudy Grey (because she's born blind)

Coat colour: Lemon Yellow

Mane colour: Green Yellow with curls of Gold. Often seen in a bob.

Physique: Pointy Ears. Visible light yellow hooves.

Cutie Mark: An unrolled purple scroll with only one line written on it. Obtained during epiphany where she realized life is what you make it be, and you can write it yourself.

Origin and Residence: Knew The Equestioner growing up. Both lived in a small off the map town until colthood/fillyhood. Moved to Canterlot with parents after he was sent to his uncle and aunt.

Occupation: Studio Recorder. After becoming a mare, she knew she would have to stay in Canterlot so she could get around and not have to memorize a different place. The studio was bought from money she had saved up from working as a music retailer. She is for hire to make sure the melodies somepony thinks is good and perfect them into something somepony thinks is great. She likes to take other's music one step further than they imagined.

Motivation: To find her foalhood friend Lon. She is good at recognizing voices, and can often tell somepony she has met before from their voice. The one thing she wishes the most is for The Equestioner/Lon to walk into her studio and say something. Anything. Just a word that would confirm his continued existence. But it is hard to go out and find him when she only has her cane to not bump into things.

Likes: Music, talking, and fantasizing about herself and Lon.

Dislikes: People who treat her different, overhanging signs, and going to new places.

Background: Reina, having been born blind, spent most of her foalhood away from other ponies her age. She couldn't do any of the things they did, talk about the plays they had seen, or do team sports. She took everything she had said for granted, from the colour of her coat to the way she looked. She never thought she would fit in with anypony her age. She asked her mum to be home-schooled many times. Her parent's took her to many counselors and they all said it was just a stage she was going through. But she remained detached.

That is, until she met Lon. She heard his voice going into the second grade, and something made it sing in her ears. It wasn't that it was different that all the other kid's voices. It was the same. The same as hers. A voice held back. A voice that couldn't carry. A voice that was like hers in nearly every way.

She found him by nervously asking playground kids where he was. When she found him, she didn't get a second to ask him his name before he started asking her seemingly prepared questions. She didn't mind though. Soon they were talking about friends and it turned out he also had a lack of such.

They decided to become each other's first friends. But after some years it turned into something so much more than that. He would be asking her questions about philosophical things, like what the best condiment was, and she would ask him factual things, like the colors of different things around the classroom. She spent every moment she could with him. And one day in mid fillyhood they were on a bench in a park, asking each other questions, when he put his hoof on hers and asked the question that would change their lives. "Will you be my special somepony?"

She couldn't have said no, but she couldn't have said yes either. Her mind was racing with all of the thoughts of them together. Her response was to slowly feel her way to his cheek and kiss it.

But soon, the universe would play a cruel trick with fate. Not even six months Lon's parent's were killed, and he went to Manehattan where his aunt and uncle were. Within a month, she had reverted to her old self. Her dad had also recieved a job in Canterlot as a forepony at work sites, so she was unable to wait for his return. She still had yet to get her cutie mark, and her apathy towards getting one and life in general worried her parents.

Her parents, deciding to take action before it got permanent, got her the best counselor in Equestria to try and sort her out. He was not only able to get her out of her depression, but also help her get her cutie mark. Thanks to the counselor, she realized life is what you turn it into. It was a blank book. At that point, she was no longer sad, and decided she would do her best to live life in a way that gave her a sense of fufillment and purpose. At this time, her cutie mark appeared. She couldn't tell it was there though, so it took some explaining of what had happened before it settled in.

Summary: She walks around using a cane attached to her hoof that she can turn side to side as she trots. It's also bright red to warn others she is coming.

She likes her life, but she tells everypony that it feels like there is somepony missing. She likes help when it comes to getting around new places, but she hates it when other ponies act overly kind to her just because of being blind. She knows she can handle herself, and tries her best to get that across to others she meets. This makes her seem a little stuck up, but in reality it's so that she is seen as capable.

She has a good ear for tone and rhythm, and prefers to be in a place with some background noise so her brain has some sort of sensory input.

[colour=#ffd700]"Well there, you want to hear a little bit about me? Born blind. That is now out of the way. No more on that. If you want to know more, find my parents."[/colour]

[colour=#ffd700]"Anyway, I have something to ask you too. And It's not to hold my hoof and guide me places if that's what you're thinking. I was just wondering if you had seen a stallion, probably around my age, light brown and three question marks for his mark. It would be appreciated to tell-"[/colour]

[colour=#ffd700]"Hello? Are you still there?"[/colour]

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Hi ONWARDconwardicus!

I have read your app, and I must compliment you on how well written it is!

All of the requred fields are filled and I do like both your writing style and the well thought out backstory!

It is very challenging to develop an app for a blind mare, and you have done an excellent job!

The only thing I'm somewhat concerned about before passing this app on to Senior Staff to evaluate is this line:

"After a near run in with self-inflicted death before she reached marehood, her parent's got her the best counselor in Equestria to try and sort her out. He was not only able to get her out of her depression, but through the given epiphany, she got her cutie mark. She couldn't tell anything had happened, so it took some explaining of what had happened before it settled in."

Are you saying Reina is suicidal? This isn't very clear to me where you're 'going' with this.

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I'm saying she had become very depressed and attempted suicide at one point. She failed, and her parents got her counselling. There she got her cutie mark, and a better outlook on life. She is no longer suicidal. Just part of the background.

Just consulted with Senior RP staff, there is a general rule against mental illness in Mane RP, so ANY mention or illusions of suicide is clearly a no-no for approval in Mane RP.

Sorry, but that part of your app needs to be changed.

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*obligatory "semantics of technology" warning response*

During your RPing, if the subject of her occupation is brought up (which would technically be audio engineer), it is best if you are ultra vague with the details of what her job entails, technology-wise, unless you know a lot about non-magnetic tape analogue recording, Edison-style.

Any kind of recording would be done directly on the record, like it was in the old days. Not much room for mixing or mastering on the first recording. And I am guessing that for the most part, the average pony would be using some type of hand-cranked mechanical Victrola type player for playback at the most, and I an doubting that even then there is a huge market for recorded songs, since we've seen WAY more live bands (although I guess the 500 DJs Equestria has have to get their records from somewhere, huh?). I can see why a blind mare would go into this field, though. :) Makes all the sense in the world to me.

Also, please drop the bit about movies. Even just mentioning it in an approved app could open the door for movie star ponies. Maybe switch it to plays?

And they seem kind of young to be implied to be romantically flustered pre-cutie mark stage. That's awfully young... Can you go into more detail there and clarify that when she's fantasizing about Lon, it's more akin to innocent daydreaming? And speaking of cutie marks, her epiphany seems a little too simple, can you expand on how her therapist helped her realize that to the point that it's her special purpose in life?

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One second. I am derping on the level of pony technology. :razz:

Okay I'm back. I'll change the movies and go more in depth on the cutie mark. But could you please explain to me why she has to be innocently daydreaming about him? It's more than that, but not to the point where it wouldn't be allowed in mane RP I don't think. She and him were friends for a long time and into what would be their teenage years. I believe it would be pretty natural for her to do more than daydream about him. It of course isn't anything adult, just innocent daydreaming is something that wouldn't reflect her character accurately.

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It's not exactly clear from your application how much time had passed. "Soon", after a mention of them being in "early fillyhood" is not enough of an indicator to let us know it was years. I inferred "months" from that, especially since she still didn't have her cutiemark before she lost him in her life. Which would put them at a very young age, and too young to be so serious. The way you have it worded, it kind of has weird connotations. Like she's an adult pining over a child because she never knew him as anything but a young colt, and I wasn't the only one who was confused by the transitions of time. Clearly that wasn't your intention.

Just clean up the transitions a little bit so they're not as ambiguous and the fantasizing that she is having is fine, as long as you keep it clean in RP.

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