Earth Pony Germanic Powers [Final] Equestrian Crossovers

[allthingsgerman]

Role play Type: WoE RP

Name: Germaneic Powers

Sex: male

Age: Stallion

Species: Earth Pony

Eye colour: Grayish blue

Coat colour: White with one grey spot on his lower right side of his neck.

Main/Tail Markings & Style: Germaneic's mane is jet black, unusual for such a light coloured pony. His mane is cut in the normal REA approved pattern, allowing his officer's cap to fit on top of his mane. His tail is in the same cut as Germaneic's hair, but longer, as it touches the back of his knees. His tail is also the same colour as his mane; the tail has a grey outline.

Physique: Strongly built body built for carrying heavy load but he does not like carrying armor. He can run long distances and is able to carry things after that. He has had 5 years military training which was made him into the strong and fast pony he is now. He for some reason can pick up things with his hoofs better than other ponies.

Cutie Mark: His cutie mark is a map with a REA flag in the background on a flag pole

Cutie mark story: He got his cutie mark when he was older than most colts when they got their cutie marks. He got it when the changelings attacked Canterlot. He was patrolling the battlements when suddenly he felt a small object hit his armor. He bent down picked it up and saw it was a piece of the force field. He looked up and saw the whole changeling army bashing against the protective force field. Germaneic ran to the nearby warning horn and blew into it. As soon as he did that the force field collapsed. Soldiers were pouring from the armory to fight the changelings. Germanic powers, was fighting the changelings when his commanding officer was picked up and carried away from his squadron. Germaneic gathered the squadron of 7 others in a nearby ruined building and asked “who is highest rank here.” The soldier on his left turned to Germaneic and said “you are sir.” Germaneic then said “all right then let’s gets to work then.” Germanic then planned out some traps and other ways of distracting up the enemy so that the civilians could escape. He and another soldier covered a whole street with some really sticky cake batter and stopped a platoon of changelings from taking a group of civilians. He and the other soldier trapped many changelings from capturing civilians. Germanic looked to his right over a street and saw civilians and soldiers running away from the changelings. Germaneic saw a REA flag on the ground. He picked it up and ran over to the street. He then got on top of a mound of rubble and said “AS LONG AS I HAVE BREATH IN MY LUNGS I SAHLL FIGHT THESE CREATURES, FOR EQUESTRIA, FOR THE PRINCESS, FOR ALL WE HOLD DEAR.” This got the attention of the fleeing soldiers they were inspired to fight again so they formed a wall of shields to protect the civilians. Germaneic then said “FOR PEACE, LOVE AND FREEDOM CHAAAAARGE.” They started to run at the changelings who were blocking major road ways out of the city. When they had got to the changelings they were all gone it was like some mystical force swept them away. After the battle Germanic powers was summoned to the main hall where the royal adviser was. He walked down the hall and bowed in front of the adviser. The adviser pulled out a sword and dubbed him Sir Germaneic powers for his courage in battle. After the ceremony he returned to the base and met with the Major, He then promoted Germaneic to SGT 1^st class. Germaneic returned to his bunk and to tell his bunk mates what had happened. When he got there before he could talk a soldier pointed out and said “Looks like you got your cutie mark my friend. Germaneic looked at his flank and saw his cutie mark. It was the best day for him.

Personality: most people would think when they see him a stuck up fool, but when you meet him you see that he is the pony that would serve the country the best he ever could. He helps people regularly and he gives part of his wages to the hospitals for the fillies and foals that have been hurt. His main attribute is that he is always loyal and devoted to the cause of Equstria.

Origin/Residence: He grew up in the city of Hoofenheim to Major Mane and Grander grapes, then because of money problems they moved to Canterlot when he was a little colt and that has been where they have been living ever since.

Occupation: SGT 1^st in the REA

Motivation: Protecting Equestria and the ponies within while displaying the prowess of his natural homeland, Germaney and becoming a general like his father wanted to be.

Likes: self-defense, commanding and sour kraut

Dislikes: Cowards, arrogant Griffons, and ponies that insult Germaney

Flaws: A flaw is that he is sometimes arrogant and stubborn to new ideas. The last main flaw is that he is very shy around mares. He loves Germaney so much that he expresses that out loud

Character summary: he speaks with Heavy Germaney accent His father was a Pegasus his mother was and earth pony. His father was in the REA border guard while his mother grew grapes to make baked goods in their house. Due to the fact that growing grapes in Germaney is hard so his family moved to Equestria to make sure that they did not go bankrupt. In Equstia his mother started a raisin company while his father went and joined the REA. After a couple years of living in Equstria his father died of natural causes, from that day forth he wanted to finish want he had started and the only way to do that is he had to join the REA. He trained hard and long he made great progress. He disliked some Griffons because of the way they treated Germaneic and the other earth ponies. They were insulting them over the ability of flying and that they were superior because of their wings. He dislikes them when they were arrogant, but thought that they made good soldiers. Then after many years of working for the REA he got one of greatest wishes command, he was promoted and is now the leader of a Platoon of Infantry. He was also knighted but he does not like to talk about it or use the term

[SteelEagle]

Before you get any further(we are supposed tow ait until you have this labeled final), you should be are that we have a Germany corollary already:

http://www.canterlot.com/topic/4170-discussiongermaney-the-former-germane-republic/

We can't say much else until you have this labeled as finished. There are issues(flag cutie mark not allowed and the name), but for the most part the staff must be silent until it is finished.

I'm excited to see this finished so I may work with you on making it Mane RP acceptable.

[allthingsgerman]

It is the prussia eagle from the 1700s so to do none thing thing with nazi germany

[RarityDash]

It doesn't matter if it's not a Nazi symbol; that's not the objection here. We don't allow any flag symbols that do or have represented nations as cutie marks here, no matter how innocuous. We denied the Canadian Maple Leaf even. Please keep in mind that: 1). our real world nations do not exist in Equestria as we have known them, 2). allowing one flag symbol opens the door for potentially more; we do not want to go through the trouble of deciding what countries are "okay" to be represented in the game which aren't, and 3). A symbol on a flag represents a nation; a cutie mark on the other hand should represent specifically your pony and the things that make him unique.

I hope this is clear. Good luck with the app.

[starswirlthebearded]

I'm regards to what Phil said, honestly... #3 is probably the main thing. Cutie marks as defined by the show represent what makes a pony "super special." A flag symbol is a national symbol rather than a personal one. No pony in Equestria has the Equestrian flag symbol on their flanks. Why? Because it represents the country, not them, their interests, their talents or anything like that. This isn't Hetalia... Ponies aren't manifestations of countries. So it wouldn't make sense to have a flag symbol or national symbol on their flank.

Think of it this way. Would you have your country's flag on your flank as a pony? Is your country what makes you "super special"? Likely not. Because then everyone would have the same symbol on their flank.

[TemplarFrost]

I take it that you like Germany.

[allthingsgerman]

I understand but can he command Line Infantry

[Rosewind]

Gilda! I always knew you were a bad egg!

Now that's out of my system, hang tight and a RPH will be along shortly to work with you on this...very creative application.

[SteelEagle]

When I get home we will talk about this app. In short: There has been no war for many, many generations and all references and developments otherwise will need to go. Also, you may not have any prior relationship with cast in any fashion unless approved with the player and even then there are many restrictions. But I'll be home later and will work step by step with ya.

[allthingsgerman]

When I get home we will talk about this app. In short: There has been no war for many, many generations and all references and developments otherwise will need to go. Also, you may not have any prior relationship with cast in any fashion unless approved with the player and even then there are many restrictions. But I'll be home later and will work step by step with ya.

That better

[SteelEagle]

Okay, allthingsgerman. Let's get a crackin'!

The first and most glaring issue is that you mention death in war and fighting in war and such several times, in both his past history and as part of his motivation. This is not allowed in the World of Equestria RP. First and foremost, it is an RP environment that tries to both emulate the show as best it can and maintains a G rating. Obviously the events in Germanic Power's history go against this and are as such not allowed. Secondly, aside from the goals of the RP, there is accepted board canon regarding war and that is that it just hasn't happened for many generations- many centuries, in fact. Members of the REA aren't getting killed or wounded in wars or minor skirmishes or even training accidents. It is a time of utter peace for the REA where the few incidents that pop up are over so quickly thanks to the Elements of Harmony that even if the REA is engaged in combat(such as the Changeling attack), it doesn't last long enough for any serious injuries or deaths to occur.

Second major issue is your established connections with cast, Gilda and Fluttershy. Rules disallow such relationships between OCs and cast unless they are strictly approved by the players who play them and even then there are limits, such as assigning actions such as murder or being a member of a military force like you do with Gilda.

I mention these things now only so I don't need to later. These are major problems that underline the majority of problems with this application. I see the character as having great potential however, so let us go over all the problems so we can work on solutions!

"Name: Germanic Powers"

- Problem. Germanic means Germany. There is no Germany in this RP, only Germaney. The name needs to change to reflect that.

"Sex: Colt"

- Problem. Just say male or female. Colt/Filly is what we use for age description: Foal, Colt/Filly, Stallion/Mare, Elderly Stallion/Mare.

"Coat colour: White with one grey spot on his lower neck caused by an accident shaped like the Iron Cross."

- Problem. We try not to reference real world military decorations. A few players have sneaked by with such things but we don't really allow it.

- Suggestion- Just drop it.

"Main/Tail Markings & Style: Germanic's mane is jet black, unusual for such a light colored pony. His mane is cut in the normal REA approved pattern, allowing his officer's cap to fit ontop of his mane.His tail is in the same cut as Germanic's hair, but longer, as it touches the back of his knees . His tail is also the same colour as his mane, but the tail has a grey outline and it indents a little to form the Germane national pride."

- First off, you talk way too long to talk about military cut. I fixed that for you above. The final sentence also doesn't make much sense: His tail indents to form the Germane national pride?

- Suggestion- Drop the last sentence.

"Cutie Mark: His cutie mark is the 5 ponies dressed in uniform standing in a line. His special ability is he love commanding line infantry."

- Better than the old idea, but still has issues.

Reference this- http://www.canterlot...questrian-army/

IE; there is no standard line infantry esque portion of the REA as it doesn't fit their doctrine. However, the cutie mark could still relate to command. It just shouldn't be about line infantry, and remember that a cutie mark isn't about a special talent, it's about what makes you, the pony, special. While two *can* be related they aren't often directly.

- Suggestion- A helmet and shield in front of the sun, indicating his desire to protect and defend Equestria. It also relates indirectly to the armor of those he commands.

"Cutie Mark: His cutie mark is the 5 ponies dressed in uniform standing in a line. His special ability is he love commanding line infantry.

cutie mark story: He got his cuite mark when he was older then most filles when they got their cutie marks. HE got it when in Miltray training. the day started out with some war games. Germanic powers was voted to lead a squad into the games. The objective was to capture the enemy's flag and bring back to your flag. Germanic powers and his squad were nearing the flag when a platoon appeared right in front of them. The squad was routing when Germanic powers reliy the troops to fight with hi. They charged and started to fight hand to hand. They beat the enemy platoon and they captured the flag and started to run back to their flag when the pegius started to do close air support the squad started to run way in different directions but Germanic powers held his own and took one of the flyers down. the squad's moral rose and they were able to return to their flag with minimal deaths. after the battle Germanic powers took his daily shower to his surprise he found a mark his cutie mark."

- Okay, well:

1- Wargames in real life are always nonlethal. It doesn't make sense, especially for an all-volunteer small-unit force like the REA, to have deaths in wargames. And once again, no violent deaths of this manner are allowed.

2- How did he rally them to somehow beat back a force that is likely three times as large in the middle of being routed? If his talent is supposed to be command, then you should show why he is a good commander. Tactics, strategy, outthinking his opponent would be more interesting than somehow rallying an outnumbered force getting hammered to victory in a straight engagement just because.

I would advise that you take a look at his cutie mark and what it means and take a look at his story and try to see how the two relate. If his talent is commanding a force, then you should make me believe that he is a good commander and to wit his story is vital. I don't buy Germanic Powers as a commander of any note becayse his story borders more on the slightly mythical and nonsensical.

- Suggestion- Rework his cutie mark story so he seems to be an excellent REA commander, utilizing surprise tactics and such to get the upper hand and capture the flag in a training exercise.

"Personality: most people would think when they see him a stuck up fool, but when you meet him you see that he is the pony that would give his life to save the country. He helps people regularly and he gives part of his wages to the hospitals because of the fillies and foals that have been wounded to war. His main attribute is that he is always loyal and devoted to the cause of equstria."

- Problem. As stated, there is no war so that part should be removed.

- Suggestion- Just remove the reference to war and have him donate his wages to hospitals to help out all ponies who are hurt. It gets across the intended effect.

"Origin/Residence: He grew up in the city of Berlin to Major Mane and Grander grapes. His father was a pegius his mother was and earth pony. His father was in the Germaneigh air forces while his mother grew grapes to make baked goods in their house. Due to the fact that Equestria was grinning all of the money out of Germane so his family moved to Equestria. Where his mother started a rasin company while his father went and joined the REA. after a couple years of living in Equstria his father died in a fight, but Germanic saw what truly happened his father was killed in by a griffon know as Gilda from that day forth he wants to seek his revenge and the only way to do that is he had to join the REA. He trained hard and long he made great progress. He then found Glida and tried to chase after her but she pinned him and gave him the mark on his neck. before leaving him to die. His friends found him and brought him back to Canterlot whee he recovered and became stronger. then he was promoted and is now the leader of a Platoon of Infantry"

- Problems:

1- I already mentioned things related to war, so I won't go into much depth here: All references to war are not allowed.

2- All references to Gilda are not allowed.

3- Berlin is not an accepted location in the RP. Being a real life name not even ponified, it would be disallowed immediatiately.

4- Germaneigh Air Force needs to be taken out. His father could have been a member of the REA, of course.

5- What do you meaning Equestria was grinning all of the money out of Germane? Germaney is part of Equestria for all intents and purposes and Equestria is devastatingly fair in board canon.

Okay, so what we see here is that you have placed his history as part of his origin/residence. This asks where was he born and where does he live now.

-Suggestion-

Origin/Residence: Hoofenheim(accepted RP location in Germaney) born, moved to Canterlot as a little colt.

"Motivation: Revenging his dead father and to show pride for his country"

- Obviously, this will have to be taken out.

- Suggestion- "Protecting Equestria and the ponies within while displaying the prowess of his natural homeland, Germaney"

"Likes: Weapons, commanding and sour kraut"

- Problem with weapons. Change it to self-defense, perhaps?

"Character summary: he speaks with Arnold Schwarzenegger accent his face is just like shinning armors but it has a couple scars runing down his face the biggest is the one running from the top of his head to the bottem of his left eye. "

- Here are a few issues. First and foremost, this is where we want you to place your character's history, not in origin/residence. Secondly, Arnold Schwarzenegger is not a pony and we can't use his reference. You aren't allowed to use a character's face as a template.

- Suggestion- Place your brand new non-war related history here and describe the accent using non-real names.

*********

The application has many grammar and spelling errors, but that is more a product of not speaking the language. I'll help you work on the spelling and grammar after we have made the major changes to this app. The application is also difficult to read in that colored text.

To answer your question, no, ponies do not have muskets.

Let's fix these problems and get your character moving!

[TemplarFrost]

4- Germaneigh Air Force needs to be taken out. His father could have been a member of the REA, of course.

Well, fortunetely for you, we do have a Germane Air Force. This is what Davroth posted about them.

[colour=#282828]Luftkundschaftung - Specialized Pegasus squadrons suited for reconnaissance.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]And[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Sturmwacht - Airship crews, mostly used for the protection of the sea borders.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]So you could include those in your app.[/colour][colour=#282828] [/colour]

[SteelEagle]

Well, fortunetely for you, we do have a Germane Air Force. This is what Davroth posted about them.

[colour=#282828]Luftkundschaftung - Specialized Pegasus squadrons suited for reconnaissance.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]And[/colour]

[colour=#282828]Sturmwacht - Airship crews, mostly used for the protection of the sea borders.[/colour]

[colour=#282828]So you could include those in your app.[/colour][colour=#282828] [/colour]

That was historical information as Germaney does not field separate military forces now.

So no, he can't include it in his app. :razz:There is a standing issue with old lore and this is one of them where lore as is accepted is not always what is in certain topics.

[allthingsgerman]

I have a question does Germaney have a national symbol

[allthingsgerman]

I have a question could I base my story of how he got his cutie mark when the changelings attacked

[SteelEagle]

When I get home I'll do some research for you! Until then, congratulations on working so hard to improve your app. It's already come a long way.

[SteelEagle]

I have a question could I base my story of how he got his cutie mark when the changelings attacked

Germaney does not have a symbol that I can find and you may have his cutie mark story involve the Changeling attack. However, just remember that it happened in the near immediate past so if his cutie mark and his command is related it is unlikely he would be leading troops currently. But still, as long as the violence is kept G and it sticks to canon, you may have your cutie mark involved with the Changeling attack.

OKAY! So much better. You're doing great, allthingsgerman!

"Main/Tail Markings & Style: Germanic's mane is jet black, unusual for such a light colored pony. His mane is cut in the normal REA approved pattern, allowing his officer's cap to fit on top of his mane. His tail is in the same cut as Germanic's hair, but longer, as it touches the back of his knees. His tail is also the same colour as his mane,the tail has a grey outline and it indents a little to form the Germane national pride"

- Pretty good, but remove that last sentence. Then that is set.

"Dislikes: Cowards, Griffons, and ponies that insult Germaney"

- After a talk, it may be better t change that to arrogant griffons. Beyond that, you're set.

"his father died in a fight, but Germanic saw what truly happened his father was killed in by a griffon from that day forth he wants to seek his revenge and the only way to do that is he had to join the REA. He trained hard and long he made great progress. He found that griffon and tried to chase after it but it pinned him and gave him the mark on his neck before leaving him to die."

- While better than what you had before thanks to you removing Gilda and the mention of a war, it is still something that needs to be removed- murder and violence of that type are not allowed.

We're getting closer with every effort. Good job, allthingsgerman!

[allthingsgerman]

Is it good now

[ping111]

We denied the Canadian Maple Leaf even.

You sure did! *twitch*

This app, although needing some edits, looks rather good to me as a concept.

Just a note, though, you don't need the [earth pony] in your title. It's already there, as a drop-down!

[allthingsgerman]

You sure did! *twitch*

This app, although needing some edits, looks rather good to me as a concept.

Just a note, though, you don't need the [earth pony] in your title. It's already there, as a drop-down!

I feel sorry for you what I wanted the Prussian eagle to do is to represent unity and power in all because that what it means

[allthingsgerman]

Is this character a playable character?

[SteelEagle]

You'll be getting your response tonight. I have work.

[SteelEagle]

Okay, so looking through this, I find little that is directly objectionable. However, before I send this up for final approval, you need to clean up the spelling and grammar. Do that and I'll throw it up to a Senior!

[Rosewind]

Any progress on this application?

[allthingsgerman]

not really I am waiting for him