Elssir Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 (Okay. This is my first try. Please be patient with me. If I will do something wrong I will appreciate if you will tell me. )Everything in the Ponyville was normal. Ponies lived their lifes and they was doing what they usually do. But one day something unexpected happened.Suddenly a strange sign appeared... The text on it was written with an old way but it was readable."Ye Who wants to join a fellow to the adventure in the forest, have to wait on the path to the Everfree forest this evening.It's not a walk into the nature. The goal is to chase a dangerous beast what lives too near to the Ponyville. You're warned. Good luck."(Join this RP just if you won't mind of my mistakes) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser1991 Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 ((ok i will help but i am also not that good at grammer or spelling nut the first thing is at the start of you second senture But one they should't it be But one day then a little after suddenly the strange sign appeared change the to a those are the only ones i see here)) Stormchaser was flying his nomal route that he nomal does but he notice something weird there was a sign here that wans't here before he flew down to read it after reading it 'hmm that sounds weird but awesome at the same time i think i will go' thought stormchaser then he flew to the place it said when he got there he waited Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 When Stormchaser came to the edge of the Everfree forest, nopony was here at that moment. But he saw a light between the trees maybe 80 meters deep. It reminded him a window.There was silent everywhere. Birds were actually going to sleep and just the sound of the crickets fulfilled the evenings air. It was slowly getting cold.(I hope that my bad English wouldn't be so big problem. At least. I'll practise it with this. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser1991 Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 ((ok yea it is a good idea to practise if its not good ok just one this time just remove as by the illuminated window)) stormchaser saw the light 'is that the castle of the two sisters i will waited for a bit to see if anypony else is coming' said stormchaser ((so what do we know like in the season where would you put this is twilight a unicorn or alicorn)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 ((You mean to remove it completely? ) Well it doesn't matter very much. But I would prefer the time when she was an unicorn. If you wouldn't mind.)Stormchaser decided to wait if anypony else will be so brave and join this strange adventure. There is still a little of sun light and that means they still have some time.(Well, should we wait for another players or just start the story line?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser1991 Posted June 27, 2014 Report Share Posted June 27, 2014 ((lets wait to see if anypony else joins)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowDaringDash Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 (Im joining with my OC griffon Blackwing)Blackwing was enjoying the day when he saw the sign that said for ponies to go to the forest for a adventure of some sort. Blackwing sighed, he didnt really want to go but his Thief nature forced him to. As he walked towards the place the sign mentioned he saw a pony there. Blackwing once again sighed, he wanted to go alone but a group might still work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franshpout Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((Ah and what the heck, why not XD I'll be using Violet Charm. http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii309/Ikima/Violetteen_zps3f85e297.png this is her.))On this very fine day, the young white unicorn was in her parents' garden, helping to remove the ill weeds with her mother Cherry Blossom. As of now the two of them had been working for quite a while and decided to take a rest. The two of them covered in dirt and sweating under the heat took a place in the shadows of the trees around and sat down to breath.''A lot of work this year, isn't it, dear?''Her mother would ask her smiling.''Yep! I didn't think it would be that hard too... It's not helping that it's so hot today.''Violet replied. Her mother chuckled at her daughter's complaint and got up.''I'll go fetch us water. I'll be right back.''Cherry Blossom immediately left to go inside their house for a fresh glass of water. Meanwhile Violet waited outside. It's then that she would notice something unusual from afar. A strange sign was standing there doing nothing other than being a sign. It was too far from her to read properly... and anyway her mother was already coming back holding that glass of the liquid of life in her magic. She would gently put it in front of her daughter's eyes for her to notice. The young white unicorn took noticed it and took it in her own magic aura, thanking her mother right away and would quickly gulp down the small container before feeling relieved. Putting it away her eyes would fall on the sign once again.''Mom? Has this thing always been there before?''She'd suddenly ask. Having her attention caught, Cherry Blossom would look in the direction of where Violet was looking. She too could see the sign there. She observed the thing so she could try to ever remember if she had seen this before or not... but her memory wasn't showing any pictures of it.''I doubt it. Perhaps the mayor decided to put it there.''The mother would say, not really worrying about it. Yet the daughter didn't get her eyes off of it just yet... but seconds later she would look at her mother again, smiling.''Wanna go back to work?''She'd ask. Cherry shook her head gently, smiling.''Let's wait a little longer. We still have all day for this.''She'd say before sitting down with Violet.Later in the day, both Violet's mother and father left to do some things, entrusting the house to the young unicorn. Violet thought of just going out in the garden to look at all the work they did during the day. It sure was getting better! After that she'd go back to the spot where they rested... and once again she'd get her attention caught by the 'mysterious' sign. That thing was still there and Violet was more curious than ever... So obviously she decided to go and satisfy her curiosity by checking it. Once close enough she could read what was on it in her mind.''... A beast? Near Ponyville?!''She'd read again. If that beast was supposedly dangerous, then somepony would have to do something about it! But who?... Ah! Of course she could! Perhaps Seria, her fairy friend, as well as Glady could help! And what about Cherry Blossom and Monarch, her parents? Oh... that's right they were all busy somehow... The fairy had left for another town while Glady was helping in the constructions of a new building in Canterlot. As for her parents... they wouldn't be back before late tonight. Well then it was decided... Violet put some determination on and took the decision of helping the town. She'd rush back to her house so she could fetch her things and bring what she would need for this adventure. She had gone through the Everfree Forest a couple times. She could do it again! Sure... she worried her parents would worry, but it would be worst if that beast attacked the town.The evening came and Violet had everything she needed. A bag containing razor sharp daggers and an extremely sharp masamune sheated on her back. Back home she had left a note to her parents saying she would be out... Probably that once they would notice it, they will rush to her rescue, but for now she had to do this. Right outside she was looking forward, determination written all over her face when it would strike her... What if she was alone? At that the young unicorn gulped at this fear of finding herself alone in the forest without knowing what to expect... Oh well. The thing said to wait in front of the forest and not to go straight in. Off she was then! And to adventure!Arriving at the entrance of the forest, she would notice two other beings. One was a pegasus and the other one... a griffon? Well those she didn't see as much. Curious she would approach the strangers.''Um... Excuse me? Are you two here for the beast? hunting?... thing?''Needless to say she was pretty shy with strangers. Those two were also probably older than her so it didn't help in the matter.(( 'Kay sorry for the long intro. It's fun to make those. Elssir if there is one thing I have already noticed, other than some grammar mistakes, it would be that you have sort of taken control of Stormchaser by saying ''Stormchaser decided to wait if anypony else will be so brave to join this adventure'' as well as ''But he saw a light [ ... ] it reminded him of a window'' it's what we can call GodMod. Taking control of someone else's character is really badly seen. You can't tell which action they will make. You could replace both of these sentences by something like ''Who else would be brave enough to join this adventure?'' or ''There was a light in the distance, perhaps 80 meters away between the trees. It looked like a window in most shapes ...''. So that would be it for what I have to say so far.)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 The sun disappeared below the horizon. The light in the forest was more visible. And than... The strange voice started to sing with an ancient accent. But it came from the forest and the words weren't understandable. (I guess we can start now. And thanks for the help. It means a lot for me. You have no idea how scared I was that you won't accept me because I'm not a national English speaker. Sorry about that GodMode stuff. Well I'm used to that because some of my friends aren't very... uhm I have to help them very often. ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((Ah and what the heck, why not XD I'll be using Violet Charm. http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii309/Ikima/Violetteen_zps3f85e297.png this is her.))(( 'Kay sorry for the long intro. It's fun to make those. Elssir if there is one thing I have already noticed, other than some grammar mistakes, it would be that you have sort of taken control of Stormchaser by saying ''Stormchaser decided to wait if anypony else will be so brave to join this adventure'' as well as ''But he saw a light [ ... ] it reminded him of a window'' it's what we can call GodMod. Taking control of someone else's character is really badly seen. You can't tell which action they will make. You could replace both of these sentences by something like ''Who else would be brave enough to join this adventure?'' or ''There was a light in the distance, perhaps 80 meters away between the trees. It looked like a window in most shapes ...''. So that would be it for what I have to say so far.))Thanks for help. I'll be more careful with it. But I'd like to say that I didn't play for Stormchaser. The Stormchaser decided to wait and I just rewrote it into the story. But you're right at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franshpout Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((M'kay then XD Well I couldn't tell if it was discussed out or not, but at least my point is said for this. Now I'll wait for the two others to post before I go with anything else.)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((M'kay then XD Well I couldn't tell if it was discussed out or not, but at least my point is said for this. Now I'll wait for the two others to post before I go with anything else.))But still thanks for informing me. I want you all to enjoy this. That's the main. feel free to tell me everytime when I'll do something in a wrong way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 The night sky was full of stars. The Everfree forest was quiet and just that strange ancient singing fulfilled the fresh air.That mysterious light in the forest was still here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowDaringDash Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 Blackwing heard the voice of a female pony behind him. As he turned he looked at her. Great, there's another He thought as he walked up to her "Blackwing" Was all he said to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SymphonicFire Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((I can help with grammar . I'll use Symphonic Fire ))"Why do i have to go at this time of day" Fire said as she squinted her eyes trying to see in the dark. She finds herself in front of the Everfree forest and a group of ponies...and griffin. "Uh hey! What are you guys doing here?" she asked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowDaringDash Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 Blackwing looked at the newcomer. Great another another pony He thought as he looked at the forest they were going to enter. He then looked at the newest pony. Blackwing walked over to her and said one word"Name?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser1991 Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 When the night sky apper stormchaser turn to stare at it he here some voice but didn't take mine to them until he heard a familr voice he stop look at the sky. He saw Fire "hey fire i don't know about them but i found a sign that says to come here" repied Stormchaser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franshpout Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((Just gonna ask to not go too far please at work now and will only be back in about 6 hours)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 (We will try something. It's just a pity we are from different time zones. I have evening right now. but I can be here during the night too. I will wait with the main plot.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowDaringDash Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 (Night for me, and sadly it seem's so far blackwing has been rejected lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elssir Posted June 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 (Night for me, and sadly it seem's so far blackwing has been rejected lol)Why you think he has been rejected? I think he's a great character for this adventure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser1991 Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((it morning about noon here)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowDaringDash Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 No, i mean that no one has been talking or paying attention to him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franshpout Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 ((Just you wait lol. I didn't make my reply just yet. You'll see how my character will react!)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormchaser1991 Posted June 28, 2014 Report Share Posted June 28, 2014 (( yea also we have the rest of this rp)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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