Pegasus Cherry Bloom

[Lilia]

Name: Cherry Bloom

Sex: Female

Age: Young Mare

Species: Pegasus Pony

Pelt Color: White

Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: Red and pink, Medium/Red and pink, braided medium

Eye Color: Blue

Cutie Mark: Handlens/magnifying glass

Physique: Cherry is an active, slender pony. She enjoys keeping herself in shape.

Origin: Fillydelphia, though she plans on relocating to Canterlot soon.

Roleplay Type: Mane

Occupation: Detective's Assistant

Motivation: Cherry loves solving mysteries, especially the challenging ones. She wants to keep the bad ponies off the streets and keep Equestria safe.

Likes: (optional) Family, Pranking, Laughter, getting into trouble, older stallions, Running, Flying, mysteries

Dislikes: (optional) Discord, obvious answers, Fillies Home for Troublemakers

Character Summary: Cherry is Lilia's twin sister, a born prankster that always got away with having her fun. She had often made it a point to include Lilia in her designs of pranks. She very often likes to get herself into trouble, though there are times that those pranks get out of hand and she has been sent to the Fillies Home for Troublemakers. If she can get away with something, count on her doing it! She enjoys the attention she gets when causing trouble, even if it means spending some more time in the Home. One of her more ingenious ways to involve a local police officer and a bull for her ‘milking the bull’ prank, which that poor officer fell for, landing her in some serious hot water. She’s often called on her pranks, especially the ‘milk from a bull’ that she enjoys pulling, though the worst she got caught for was doing a temporary dye job to look like Nightmare Moon to scare the mayor’s daughter…who happened to jump into a stream just after she spotted Cherry. She hates the Home though, because she knows that what lies within those walls could very easily make sure she didn't fly ever again. She goes in partly for the information she can gather about types of criminals and partly as a lesson to show her that she most certainly doesn’t belong behind bars, so she’s more willing to do some of the more troublesome pranks to get inside and study the criminal fillies as best she can. She's still filly enough to want to be childish, but she knows how to be serious and when to put aside her pranks and fun-loving nature for a later time. Cherry got her Cutie Mark when she was reading some old mystery novels she had found in her attic, having decided that being a P.I. was a way better idea than just being on cloud control. The first lines of the mystery novel had her hooked, and she was desperate to try to solve the mystery before the hero could. She spent hours re-reading the books, getting to know the ins and outs of the heroes of her novels before she decided that learning to be a P.I. would benefit her in some way. Her first encounter with the police came shortly after she got her cutie mark. She had taken into her head that there was a mystery with one of her classmates and followed her around for weeks before being caught exiting the shed behind her home some time in the wee hours of the day. Because of that incident, her mother likes to keep sharp tabs on her and will always try to get her out of the Home, even if it is required that she meet an informant for her job. Even though her mother put her in touch with a local detective, she still feels compelled to be somewhere away from the city of Fillydelphia. She’s also desperately loyal to her sisters, always willing to defend their honor from anypony that decides that the Bloom family never would live up to their species. She’s enthusiastic about flying and her athletics, ready to challenge everypony around to races and contests to show that while she’s no Rainbow Dash, she is still pretty fast.

[BlindJester]

I like this character she's cute but I have a few questions and pointers.

First in motivation it would be best to move her cutie-mark story down to the character summary and in the motivation tell what exactly motivates her to do her job. I must as why such a young filly was tossed into prison? How did she come into contact with the mystery novels? Were they borrowed? Hand me downs? Gifts from her parents? Is there a particular reason she's a prankster or was she just born that way? What did her parents do? Did they help her find a detective to assist? Why does she like to get into trouble? If she doesn't like being put into jail why does she like being such a trouble maker? Also why doesn't she like being bailed out of jail?

Just a couple questions to help you expand your character a bit.

[Lilia]

Edited!  Thanks for the questions...I didn't think of them last night...

[Davroth]

Aside Blindjester's suggestions, I would recommend to format the text a bit, to make it more reader friendly.

Other than that, I would reconsider making reading a book the key moment in her life, but that's a personal opinion, not an inconsistency.

[RarityDash]

She sounds cute.

But you probably want more constructive feedback then that...

Davroth is right; reading a book does seem a little mundane to be the pivotal deciding moment in her young life (unless there was something really special about that book, I suppose). It's also kind of a little odd to me that somepony who works for the law would be going to prison all the time. Or is that the point of the character? She understands the criminals because she's often around them, or something like that? I don't know, the idea of a pony who has more than once committed crimes serious enough to be imprisoned for spending her time working with a detective, presumably helping to solve crimes seems a little off to me. Perhaps if you explained it more? You could also expand on her personality more. We know she's a prankster and she loves mystery novels, but there has to be more to her than just that.

Other than that, I love the basic idea of a filly detective. I think she has potential to be a very cute character.

[brianblackberry]

I am curious to hear what level of pranks does she does to land her directly in jail for. As a filly I would imagine she would be in a juvenile facility if not just required to do community service or released to her family. In Equestria, it would have to be some severe or malicious crime for a filly or colt to be placed in incarceration as a sentence. Even Snips and Snails, for their inadvertent damage to Ponyville for annoying an Ursa Major didn't get incarcerated for it (like did have to clean things up though).

[Vinyl Scratch]

I like it, from my experiences, this is quite original as well, and as some others are saying; It is sort of odd that a person that had gotten involved with the law in a bad way a couple times would end up becoming a P.I. I like the story though, and about her cutie mark, I understand the mystery thing, and how she discovered what she wanted to do, but it does seem a bit out-of-place as there isn't much leading up to it, it's just book then BAM cutie mark. A little backstory to why she was reading these stories or more emphasis on how she got her cutie mark would take this app a long way! Hope this helps!

[Lilia]

Much appreciated, everypony! I edited here and there (tried to center it to make it easier to read but...it goes right instead of middle ) and hope it's better!  Thanks for the help.

[brianblackberry]

Looked at it and what was wrong was instead of having the bbcode tag of:

[center]text[/center]

You had:

[align=center]text[/align]

Which is similar to the depreciated HTML attribute for center.

It is centered now for you; although personally I think left justified is far easier to read than centered text.

[Lilia]

I thank you very, very much!  Clearly, I'm still adjusting to this forum's coding....

[brianblackberry]

Judging from the nature of her pranks (such as pretending to be Nightmare Moon to scare the Mayor's daughter) as a filly, I cannot see her being placed in a real jail for them, especially in a more easy going, friendly place like Equestria. Perhaps community service of some kind or a special school/home for colt/filly troublemakers would be much more suitable for this (especially the former, maybe having to clean up after storms or the like).

[Lilia]

Edited again...I see your point.   Cherry is so much like Whi that I forget she's a pony sometimes...

[brianblackberry]

"One of her more ingenious ways to get in involved a local police officer, and a bull"

I am having trouble with this line in the app, specifically I do not understand what it means. My one other suggestion is to make it more clear one of the reasons she is willing to pull pranks to get her in that home is to study the criminal mind and behavior in her desire to become a detective someday.

[Lilia]

Again, thank you for pointing out the weak links.   It really is appreciated...especially since I want Cherry to come across crystal clear!

[brianblackberry]

"One of her more ingenious ways to get in involved a local police officer, and a bull…the poor officer fell for her ‘milking the bull’ prank, landing her in some serious hot water."

Ahh ok, I get it, tricking ponies into miking a bull instead of a cow. The above sentence should say something along the this line to clarify that: "One of her more ingenious ways to involve a local police officer and a bull for her ‘milking the bull’ prank, which that poor officer fell for, landing her in some serious hot water."

[Lilia]

fixed again!  

[brianblackberry]

Excellent! Well here is to seeing her in action!

For Great Justice!

[MyLittlePonyTales]