Last post wins

[Fawkes]

 

On 7/15/2016 at 4:10 AM, Penumbra said:

See what happens when your off on your stupid crusade to out Sudoku Dragons? People get restless, like a dragon who can't play Sudoku. 
I've told you time and time again, "Fawkeys,you can't play Sudoku competitively. Everyone who says you can is a moron."
*Grabs Nasty's head*
Look at this little guy, do you see the amicability in his eyes?
This is all for their greater good, a little fleeting thing to grab hold of. I never wanted to know what it was. Really I didn't. 
I was happy with the degeneration I gained for half of this Island. 
But you still hold the number 1 chair. Can you imagine Nasty there? OR anyone else for that matter. In your hat, drinking out of your cup, eating your scones, half finishing your Sudoku? How unsightly. For you I mean.
But don't worry Fawkeys. when your in the mud i'll take care of you. I'll make up a room in my castle just for you.
One of the rooms right in the back, so you can collect dust in the height of luxury. 

 

 

 

As Fawkes meanders through the soot and raining ash of our brilliantly glowing world, he hums along to the sound of screams for a time, merrily taking up each and every note of their delightful cacophony and tasting each shriek on his tongue like a fine morsel. He eventually finds himself in front of that most dastardly of vile villains, Penumbra, who seems to be awash in some sort of otherworldly light, far less dreadful and horrific than his usual glow. He cant help but smile a wicked smile, a gaunt grimace which shows off each and every one of his razor sharp teeth.

 

"My dear, sweet lipmate. My brother of broken bones and bent brains. My more murderous me. You know as well as I do that there has never been a dragon whom I couldn't defeat in a sporting game of Deathcage Sudoku. Dragons are perhaps more skilled at number games than any creature in the lands... but really, it's their over eagerness for those numbers that makes it so easy to stab them in the back! And goodness yes, I won't soon pass up the gracious honor of such accommodations. I expect the room to be done up in your usual... stylings~"

 

The lithe draconequus gives the shadow abomination a long, wet lick from the base of his chin all the way up to the top of his head. Found within the slopping drool now covering Penby's face:

Spoiler

(Medium: Real Life, Modern Art)

 

[Angie Cakes]

[Fawkes]

 

On 7/17/2016 at 0:22 AM, MicroChip said:

I thought things were crazy. Then I leave for a few days. Then I come back.

 

 

The Fawkesequus dances and twirls like the most beautiful of ballet dancers, glitter and droplets of scarlet blood raining from his wings as he does a small twist and jump, landing in front of Microchip.

 

"Ahhhh my dearliest Microchip. What a wondrous time I see you've been having yourself. Officer, huh? Goodness, climbing up the ranks indeed! Just be sure to tell me when it is you wish to return to your seat at court, hm?"

 

Fawkes ruffles the small ponies mane, matting it up with fragrant blueberry jam and another tightly curled up piece of trash:

Spoiler

(Medium: Galaxy Note 5)

[Angie Cakes]

[Fawkes]

 

On 7/15/2016 at 1:39 AM, Davroth said:

You are all weirdos. 

 

 

The abominable master of mania continues his trek through the wood, skipping merrily now as he pulls an ashen scone from the boughs of a nearby enflamed tree, munching it down happily as he tries out a new scream he had been working on, letting it rip through the night air until his vocal cords were nearly snapping! He ceases his beautiful new scream for but a moment as he comes upon the flame wreathed lord of Germaney himself!

 

"Davorth! Davvy Dav Davorth! Ayyyyyyy! I like the new name. It's fitting :3"

 

The draconequus hurls a tightly curled, EXTREMELY DENSE something at the noble and honorable dignitary:

Spoiler

(Medium: Colored Pencils and Fine Art Base)

[Angie Cakes]

[Fawkes]

 

On 7/14/2016 at 7:29 PM, Wildtalon said:

I couldn't bee asked reading the whole thing again, and oh right! Thanks

Would you like one of my homemade cookies? I'll also be going to bed in a few seconds.

 

 

Fawkes carries on his march through the wood, smiling and waving at every tree that he passes, groping each and every mushroom that crosses his path, and catching bits of gently drifting ash upon his tongue like fresh winter snowflakes! All this time his horns have been steadily glowing brighter and brighter, building in intensity with each new face he greets.

 

SUDDENLY! IN THE DISTANCE! COULD IT BE? YES!

 

The draconequus breaks into a great wild sprint, jibbering and babbling incomprehensibly! He curls his body into a great wheel and rolls along all the faster, causing soot and ash to shoot up in great sheets behind him! At last his target sits before him, he springs out of his rapid roll and into a beautiful lunge...! Before landing squarely in front of Wildtalon.

 

Without a word he reaches deeeeeep into his great growling purple top hat and pulls out a great giggling green cook jar! A jar clearly of the highest quality and make! A jar obviously of higher worth and rarity than any of the poor jugs and vases of any of the great empires and civilizations of history! A JAR STAMPED WITH THE WORDS 'HIGHEST QUALITY COOKIES IN THE WORLD: GOD COOKIES: BETTER THEN THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD I PROMISE TRUST ME YO'!

 

Fawkes promptly grabs Wildtalon and stuffs her into the cookie jar before locking it tight. He then shoves the jar into a disgruntled looking safe and finally shoves the safe deep into the depths of his top hat before placing the hat back upon his head with a flick and a flourish.

 

The jar has one cookie in it. It is indeed the greatest cookie the world has ever seen. It cannot be broken down or divided. ALSO IN THE JAR sit three other cats who all lay claim to the cookie as well. One is blood red and screams dirty limericks nonstop. One is neon blue and whispers Shakespearean sonnets at supersonic frequencies. One is a color which our eyes cannot perceive and which repeats everything it hears in the form of a riddle, including everything the other two cats utter. None of the cats can be made silent nor forced to not hear. The one who answers the riddle will undoubtedly receive that most glorious of cookies! Also locked inside that cookie jar:

Spoiler

(Medium: Microsoft Paint)

[Angie Cakes]

[Fawkes]

 

4 hours ago, NastyMann said:

*VOMITS

 

 

The Fawkesequus pauses for a moment, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of every charred creature, every bark burned, every leaf left listless. His horns have reached a blindingly bright intensity of brightness. They seem to fill the air with a supersonic hum which only continues to build; the unicorn horn, brilliantly blue and the ram's horn, violently violet.

 

He opens his eyes once more. Slowly he makes his way towards the harbinger of all this noise and confusion; towards the creature who dared challenge madness itself; towards the monster named Nastymann.

 

"Goodness me oh my. Such bravery and bravado. Such boldness and brilliance."

 

Suddenly the supersonic hum of his horns seem to tip over the edge of climax, a deep teeth shattering boom of sound filling the world as their light explodes outward into the world, finding it's way into every last crack, crevice, and cranny the mad wood has to offer.

 

"Such foolishness. Such insanity and irresponsibility. Such irrationality and indiscretion."

 

As the explosion of light slowly begins to fade a great thunderclap booms from overhead from a gargantuan thunderhead which seemed to have materialized in the blink of an eye. Neon blue lightning rips across the sky, zigzagging in impossible arcs before finally violently striking the great high back of the Throne of Madness. Another great boom rends the air and... a single great, gargantuan droplet, the size of a custodian cow, comes crashing to the ground. Then another. Then a dozen more. Then hundreds and hundreds more.

 

Warm, soothing spearmint tea rains to the ground in giant drops as simultaneously the branches and boughs of every tree in the forest, dancing and screaming all the faster now, caught in utter ecstasy, begin to burst and leak and explode with great spurts of peppermint tea from every last crack and crevice of their great bodies.

 

Great gouts of steam shoot into the sky, rushing upwards to meet and entwine with the mountain-sized thunderhead as the once raging inferno quickly sizzles into oblivion.

 

The draconequus stares up into the sky for a moment, letting the teafall wash over him with a smile and a small wiggle. Returning his gaze to earth and to the creature before him, he can't help but smile all the more. He kneels down in front of him so that they are face to face, his vividly piercing eyes staring into Nasty's eyes like needles through... eyes. Another flash of neon lightning briefly illuminates his dagger like rows of teeth, caught in a Cheshire smile.

 

"The flames are out. The throne is mine. And the forest breaths the breath of the mad and the murderous once more. You though, Nastymann... you. If you wanted a promotion so badly, you really should have simply told me instead of putting yourself through so much trouble! I must say though, you DO do some rather stellar work~"

 

Before rising up once more and seating himself upon the great throne of the wood, claiming once more his titles of Master of Mania, Spirit of Top Hats and Madness, Sister of the Screaming Sepulcher, Prince of Pleasurable Pains and Painful Pleasures, and Creature of Crumpets and Cravings, he places a gift upon Nasty's head. A gift and a reminder:

Spoiler

(Medium: Paper and Mechanical Pencil)

 

"We. Win."

"Long Live The Wood."

"LONG LIVE LAST POST WINS!"

[CatCakey]

4 hours ago, NastyMann said:

*eats a CUTE, ADORABLE KITTEN whole*

You will regret that one day...

[CatCakey]

1 hour ago, Fawkes said:

 

 

 

Fawkes carries on his march through the wood, smiling and waving at every tree that he passes, groping each and every mushroom that crosses his path, and catching bits of gently drifting ash upon his tongue like fresh winter snowflakes! All this time his horns have been steadily glowing brighter and brighter, building in intensity with each new face he greets.

 

SUDDENLY! IN THE DISTANCE! COULD IT BE? YES!

 

The draconequus breaks into a great wild sprint, jibbering and babbling incomprehensibly! He curls his body into a great wheel and rolls along all the faster, causing soot and ash to shoot up in great sheets behind him! At last his target sits before him, he springs out of his rapid roll and into a beautiful lunge...! Before landing squarely in front of Wildtalon.

 

Without a word he reaches deeeeeep into his great growling purple top hat and pulls out a great giggling green cook jar! A jar clearly of the highest quality and make! A jar obviously of higher worth and rarity than any of the poor jugs and vases of any of the great empires and civilizations of history! A JAR STAMPED WITH THE WORDS 'HIGHEST QUALITY COOKIES IN THE WORLD: GOD COOKIES: BETTER THEN THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD I PROMISE TRUST ME YO'!

 

Fawkes promptly grabs Wildtalon and stuffs her into the cookie jar before locking it tight. He then shoves the jar into a disgruntled looking safe and finally shoves the safe deep into the depths of his top hat before placing the hat back upon his head with a flick and a flourish.

 

The jar has one cookie in it. It is indeed the greatest cookie the world has ever seen. It cannot be broken down or divided. ALSO IN THE JAR sit three other cats who all lay claim to the cookie as well. One is blood red and screams dirty limericks nonstop. One is neon blue and whispers Shakespearean sonnets at supersonic frequencies. One is a color which our eyes cannot perceive and which repeats everything it hears in the form of a riddle, including everything the other two cats utter. None of the cats can be made silent nor forced to not hear. The one who answers the riddle will undoubtedly receive that most glorious of cookies! Also locked inside that cookie jar:

  Reveal hidden contents

(Medium: Microsoft Paint)

So you didn't want any of my freshly baked cookies?

[Nasty]

21 hours ago, Fawkes said:

"LONG LIVE LAST POST WINS!"

Nasty, drenched in DUMB TEA, wiped the sweat from his brow. He readjusted the doodle artifact (slightly metallic one, suprisingly) Fawkes placed on his head. Nasty hoped he could just wear this dumb doodle-tub out of some ironic gesture due to his utter desperation at somehow one-upping Fawkes' brilliant display. But how on earth could he? Incorporating what could only be described as a Huitzilopotchli-tier-blood-sacrifice-god version of Fawkes into this gorgeous doodle (THAT WAS SO ANNOYINGLY HEAVY FOR NO REASON WHY IS IT HEAVY) is unbeatable. 

 

Plus, Nasty counted the points. They won, utterly, fair and square.

 

"UTTERLY DEFEATED. 

 

"Complete and utter ownage on the part of our great leader, Fawkes! My DUDE! You came back, posted genuinely fantastic posts (all within the guidelines!), and won! See? My plan worked the whole time! This was the first page since forever that wasn't filled to the brim with absolute degeneracy, am I right?! Tell me you don't love this. This great big funny memejoke right? C'mon it was a good idea! Definitely! Plus, things are all back to normal! And would we have it any other way without you in charge? Like dude I'm practically already dead from the adrenaline-related stress on my arteries from drinking all of this stupid tea and you like pretty much poised to kill me but i mean whatev. So, yeah man. You're leader now. I'm finna step down. You get to take the reign, buddy!"

 

Nasty flashes an evil, desperate grin, as he raises his left arm: "Except you like, don't! Because I've still got three bullets left big boy!--and considering the fact that points aren't tallied until after all of my actions are taken into account..." Nasty preens, moving his frazzled bangs out of his eyes and readjusting his goofy sunglasses, dropping his left arm down, pointed directly at Fawkes.

 

"Penumbra, FIRE!" 

 

Once again, Penumbra emanates a gorgeous, sultry purple hue akin to what could only be described as  G E N G A R  F A R T S. Before any sort of projectiles could fire, however, the hallowed artifacts Fawkes awarded to all of the posters who posted during The Burning of the Forest began to glow that very same purple. 

 

Suddenly, a jolt of epileptic electricity coursed out from the glowing Penumbra's eyes, connecting with each and every item in a chain lightning effect. Finally, the final bolt connected with NastyMann's head--the very same head whereupon Fawkes placed his ingeniously-cloaked  l i g h t n i n g  r o d. 

 

Nasty was  S E I Z E D,  meaning no longer could his actions influence the point total!

 

Conjoined posting coup by Fawkes and Angie = like a bajillion points

new point total: More than enough to win!!!

 

 

 

Nasty has been ousted!

 

Fawkes has returned as leader! 

 

[Angie Cakes]

 

END of The Burning of the Forest

[Angie Cakes]

Hey Fawkesy it’s your birthday

(and it’s the cat’s birthday too)

and now you've got the forest back

there’s

lots

of

fun

stuff

you

can

doooooooooooo

you can cut off all your curly hair

or scream at that man over there

you can drink tea from a massive mug

and then just go pee on the rug

yes you can do all of that

you

can

even

aknowledge

the

caaaat

(‘cause it’s her birthday)

*piano*

[MicroChip]

I am publishing this as an illustrated story. If only to remind myself to check in more often. Because things seem to get out of hand when I'm away.

 

 

Thinking about it, that happens regardless of my presence. I still should return a little more often.

[MicroChip]

Oh, and birthday jumps for the Fawkes!

[Fawkes]

12 hours ago, NastyMann said:

Nasty has been ousted!

 

Fawkes has returned as leader! 

 

 

 

The silly, old (YET STILL TERRIBLY HANDSOME AND BOYISH LOOKING AND NOT EVEN A ONE WRINKLE) Fawkesequus couldn't help but giggle his gaily girlish giggle at the wondrously awe inspiring final act of resistance by the thoroughly spent little gremlin. He gave the little convulsing pile of defeat a couple of pokes and prods with his tail, gigging all the more as the remaining electric charge gives him a couple little shocks. He absentmindedly tickles his throne in it's most ticklish spot, invoking a tremulous tremor of laughter from the old girl~

 

"Naaaaaaasty. Nasty nasty nasty! Truly a show for the ages you've put on here! Really, top billing stuff, very Hollywood, a name for the history books! We haven't had a cataclysm like that since the old Princess's attempted rebellion. My mother would be ever so proud of you!"

 

His claws suddenly dig deeply into the arm of his chair, invoking a scream like the sound of a thousand cats having their tails stepped on as his eyes flash and his teeth bare.

 

"But mother is dead. And where is the Princess now, hm? Forever missing."

 

Fawkes slowly, slitheringly, silently paces his way over to the crumpled heap of rebellious fluids and raging defiance, crouching down next to it. He flips his dear old top hat off of his horned head, catching it in his paws. He stares at it longingly, lovingly, lastingly for a moment, gently caressing it's top and relishing the confused babbling sounds it produced. Quite suddenly he slams the storied old top hat directly onto Nasty, the monstrously ancient hat swallowing him up whole with barely a whisper as the monstrously young dranconequus grins ever so slightly.

 

"But you are neither of those things, are you? You're still right here where you belong. You're still home."

 

Fawkesequus slowly lifts his old hatty off the defiant little monster, his body and visage left completely intact and unchanged... save for the newly fastened, favorably fashionable, cloak of bright blue and vicious violet draped over his back, it's shoulders adorned with gleaming statuettes of a tea cup on one side and a bundle of intestines on the other, and a glistening new squirt gun in his hand!

 

"And as such I name thee and knight thee Count Commandant of the Faceless Forces of the Forest! Archduke of the Royal Family of the Crying Sunflower! And Real Bad Boy Number One!"

 

He slaps the back of Nasty's head twice with his tail and spits on him, as is the traditional Mad Woodsian knighting custom!

 

"Kindly don't go getting too loyal now. After all, what fun is a rebel who never rebels~"

 

"You DID accomplish quite a wondrous thing here, but... goodness is that really all we have left to us? A long-winded serpent, a sea-cow queen, a nasty gremlin, a bespectacled dear, the occasional brooding shadow and flaming Germane... a cat. Hum. Me thinks we may need to fix this :'I"

[Fawkes]

10 hours ago, Angie Cakes said:

Hey Fawkesy it’s your birthday

(and it’s the cat’s birthday too)

and now you've got the forest back

there’s

lots

of

fun

stuff

you

can

doooooooooooo

you can cut off all your curly hair

or scream at that man over there

you can drink tea from a massive mug

and then just go pee on the rug

yes you can do all of that

you

can

even

aknowledge

the

caaaat

(‘cause it’s her birthday)

*piano*

 

AHHHHHHH I'M DOING ALL THESE THINGS RIGHT NOW EVEN! :'D

Except one...

One of those things I am not doing.

AND WILL NOT DO! >:I

 

6 hours ago, MicroChip said:

Oh, and birthday jumps for the Fawkes!

 

OMIGOSH BIRTHDAY JUMPS ARE MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!

How did you even know, Micro? :'3

You're simply too sweet, thank you~<3

[Cathalos]

I skipped pages. and I'm not going back.
what a thrill.

[Fawkes]

AHHH HUZZAH!

Our most delicious Sand Witch has returned as well!~<3

Things are already improving!

What a wonderful birthday this tis turning t'out to... t'be~ :'3

[Cathalos]

I had to overstock like 10 toilets earlier. your birthday is dumb.

[Davroth]

Some things always never change. Everything does.

[CatCakey]

"the cat" says Angie more than once. You can call me Wildtalon or just Cat you know.

 

Also, my hair now has PURPLE in it! I LOVE PURPLE!!! AND I HAVE A NICE CAMERA(which unfortunately wasn't in purple...)

EVERYONE ACKNOWLEDGE MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I can now get a car if I wanted, but I won't bother with that

[Angie Cakes]

what's the first thing you're gonna use your senior citizen's discount on

[Cathalos]

cats are food, not friends