Zephyr Breeze Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 Roleplay Type: Mane Name: Lily Dawn Sex: Female Age: Older Filly Species: Earth Pony Eye Color: Blue (#04A2C9), though they are glazed over as a result of blindness. Coat Color: Pale Pink (#FEC8A6) Mane/Tail/Markings Color & Style: : Long yellow (#FEFF00) mane and tail. Her mane hangs down, covering her right eye. Both, despite her lack of effort, remain well-kempt. Physique: Lily is slightly thinner than most and is a little taller than most ponies her age, roughly the height of an average mare. Cutie Mark: Three three-leaf clovers and six daisies. Origin/Residence: Lily was born to wanderer parents somewhere north of the city of Manehattan, but now lives alone in the city of Canterlot. Occupation: Lily owns a small shop that sells herbal remedies and medicines. Motivation: Lily has accepted her own disability, but hopes that one day she can find a blend that will help others overcome their own ailments, whether it’s just a minor cold or a severe disability. Likes: Rain, Heat, Poetry, Gardening, Conversation. Dislikes: Comments about her eyes, Frost, Getting Lost. Character Summary: Lily was born on a hot summer day to a pair of Earth Pony wandering merchants, Silver Ray and Lemon Star. At a young age she would run off, exploring various parts of the town or region they were currently visiting, popping into a school for classes when there was one available and willing to take her for her brief stay. This changed abruptly after the incident in the Everfree Forest. Still early in her foalhood, Lily’s parents were occupied selling their wares in Ponyville when she decided to go explore the nearby forest. She wandered around for quite some time and eventually encountered a manticore. The beast never noticed her, but the mere sight of it prompted her to run away in fear. She accidentally stumbled during her run, and fell face first from a short cliff onto a sheet of ragged rock. She was knocked unconscious and found by her parents hours later. When she awoke, they discovered she had lost her sight. Lily’s adaption was a slow one. She had gotten quite accustomed to the wandering life and now, blinded in her foalhood, it was near impossible for her to continue it. She grew bitter, lashing out at other ponies and her parents when they would try to console her. Eventually Silver Ray and Lemon Star were unable to deal with their daughter’s new, thorny disposition and left her in the town of Canterlot, leaving her in the care of Lemon Star’s mother and father, Venus Gleam and Opal Glow. Opal Glow, a unicorn, had always been somewhat distant from the rest of his family, somewhat saddened by the lack of magic that continued in the family line, and for the most part left Lily and Venus to do as they wished together.Lily’s time with her grandmother is something she looks back upon with great regret. In retrospect, she can see the mare had a great deal of love for her, and was truly trying to look out for her best interests. Back in her late foalhood however, this was not as clear to her. The old mare and her had a tenuous relation at best, Lily doing little else but attending a local school and working in the back of Venus’ herb store. The mare had her granddaughter learn the scent of certain herbs, subsequently having the foal pick herbs from along the city’s edge and obtain herbs growing the greenhouse backend of her store. The elderly mare walked alongside her at first, something Lily resented at the time as she thought it was a form of pity, but now realizes the mare was merely trying to help her granddaughter avoid getting lost. It was one day, when Venus had Lily make a blend herself that her cutie mark appeared. Only a few months later, shortly after Lily aged into a fine young filly, Venus passed away. Lily attended the mare’s funeral despite the strained relationship, and was rather angry when Opal Glow reluctantly told her that her parents weren’t there. Over the next few years, Lily and her grandfather grew much closer than they had ever been during Venus’ life. They were each other’s last connection to the old mare, and this became their bond. Opal assumed ownership of Venus’ store, but he has let Lily take over the general operation of the place. Lily has learned a great deal of her grandmother’s recipes from Opal, the old stallion reading to her the specific blends from the books he scribed for Venus while she had developed the formula’s oh so long ago. As a result of these teachings, Lily has managed to keep the store alive, and is on track to lead the small shop to some of its best years in sales yet. She now has the city of Canterlot thoroughly mapped out in her head, and has a good grasp of the surrounding area as well. Lily is shining example, and is proud to be so, of someone living a fully functional life, regardless of disability. She has become quite passionate in her temperament, refusing to back down in issues that she believes she is truly in the right in. She still fosters her sense of adventure, but her acquire taste for pragmatics and caution has grown strong enough to trump it in most occasions.Lily Dawn: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted February 14, 2012 Report Share Posted February 14, 2012 Age: Older Filly (17)Age:Foal for very young ponies, Filly/Colt for teenage ponies, and Mare/Stallion for adult ponies. Remember, we don't know how long ponies live, so please don't use a number for age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Breeze Posted February 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 EDIT: Age amended. Character Summary still in progress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted February 17, 2012 Report Share Posted February 17, 2012 Any progress on this Application? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Breeze Posted February 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2012 EDIT: Added a few more paragraphs to character summary. Something still feels a bit off about her, like she doesn't quite fit what I'm picturing, so I'm leaving her as a WIP for now. Feedback is welcomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted February 21, 2012 Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 I personally don't give critique until an Application is marked as [Final]. Any other staff or users are welcome to though. Plus, you can still make changes when the character is marked as [Final], so long as the app hasn't been Accepted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Rose Posted February 21, 2012 Report Share Posted February 21, 2012 I like the story - it has a feel of realism to it. There's a lot to say about not what's happened to you, but how you react to what's happened to you.If there's one thing I'd mention, it's that a non-adult probably wouldn't be allowed to run a shop - so we probably need a third party adult to hold the shop for Lily Dawn 'officially' while Lily keeps it up.Also, if there was only a few months between Lily's first successful mixture and when her grandmare passed away, Lily would not have had the time to learn her craft properly. She's still very much an apprentice - and her grandmother's books are not in braille. This also suggests she'd need a third party to guide her on her way - or at least read her grandmare's books to her.Perhaps her grandfather is still alive? That would work nicely - he doesn't know as much about the mixtures, but he could legally own the shop until she comes of age, and he'd care enough to spend long hours reading her grandmare's books and recipes to her, so she can continue learning and transcribing it in braille. It would be something they could do together that would remind them of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Breeze Posted February 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 Perhaps her grandfather is still alive? That would work nicely - he doesn't know as much about the mixtures, but he could legally own the shop until she comes of age, and he'd care enough to spend long hours reading her grandmare's books and recipes to her, so she can continue learning and transcribing it in braille. It would be something they could do together that would remind them of her.I like that idea very much Bramble Rose. I'm not quite sure how to exactly maneuver him into the back story. Part of the what I imagined the problem in Lily and her grandmother's relationship was they had constant contact with each other with no mediator to help them get along or calm her down. The Grandfather would probably end up serving this role if he was constantly present, I'll try to think of a way though, the idea is a great one. I may possibly have him be ill but still quite sound. This way Lily maintains her degrees of independence but also gains a mentor figure who could educate her and teach her her grandmother's art after Venus passed on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Rose Posted February 22, 2012 Report Share Posted February 22, 2012 The grandfather could also just be one of those very quiet, reserved types that isn't outgoing, and they never 'connect' until their shared loss. Either way, it works nicely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted February 24, 2012 Report Share Posted February 24, 2012 How is this Application coming along? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittlePonyTales Posted February 27, 2012 Report Share Posted February 27, 2012 If a comment is not made saying you would like to keep this character, it will be removed in 5 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Breeze Posted February 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 28, 2012 Ach! Yes I would like to keep this character. In fact:EDIT: Character Summary expanded and edited to include Lily's relationship with her Grandfather. App changed to final.Again, all critique is welcome and wanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Rose Posted February 29, 2012 Report Share Posted February 29, 2012 "and has actually led the small shop to some of its best years in sales yet."I like all the additions except for this particular bit - she's still underaged, and inexperienced compared to her grandmother. How has she led the small shop to some of its best sales, just by following her grandmother's recipes? This sounds more like something that *will* happen some time in her future - a goal to make her grandmother's memory proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Breeze Posted February 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 29, 2012 EDIT: Ammended Lily's success rate (just a simple way to put it)."and has actually led the small shop to some of its best years in sales yet."I like all the additions except for this particular bit - she's still underaged, and inexperienced compared to her grandmother. How has she led the small shop to some of its best sales, just by following her grandmother's recipes? This sounds more like something that *will* happen some time in her future - a goal to make her grandmother's memory proud.This I actually have an answer to. Venus Gleam was talented, yes. Her talent came from long years of practice and trial and error. Venus' natural talent however was actually gardening and the the growth of the reagents. Lily is the opposite, while she has a difficult growing the reagents for the store's products and ends up gathering most of them instead, she is naturally adept at the mixing and creation of the blends and remedies themselves. She's been able to strengthen the effects of the outcomes somewhat, little tweaks to recipes here and there, and some ponies have taken notice. You are right, however, in the respect that I may have made the effect too immediate. Hopefully the edit eliminates the feeling of suddenness that the success had before by placing it as a clearly attainable future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brianblackberry Posted February 29, 2012 Report Share Posted February 29, 2012 For Great Justice! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Rose Posted February 29, 2012 Report Share Posted February 29, 2012 Hopefully the edit eliminates the feeling of suddenness that the success had before by placing it as a clearly attainable future.It does indeed, and it leaves a feeling of promise of reward for hard work, which is a good feeling to have for a character. I think that works much better, while still expressing that strength of talent that she has!A very good character. It definitely shows the strength of personality of such an individual. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Breeze Posted March 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 3, 2012 Yay! Thank you very much Brian!A very good character. It definitely shows the strength of personality of such an individual. Well done.D'aww. Thank you. I admittedly pulled from numerous sources other than my own mind as I was shaping the character, so I think that helped her come out much more well rounded. Also, I must thank you again for your suggestions. Your feedback has been invaluable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bramble Rose Posted March 3, 2012 Report Share Posted March 3, 2012 You're very welcome. I'm just glad I could help - it's always a great deal of fun to help bring people's imaginations to life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skye Posted March 4, 2012 Report Share Posted March 4, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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